When Relationships Hurt

by Jennifer Slattery on January 1, 2026December 31, 2025

(This first published on March 30, 2023.)

Relationships can lead to great joy and fulfillment, but they can also trigger significant anxiety and pain. While God can, and often does, bring healing, restoration, and wholeness to some of our most challenging relationships, sadly, some connections remain fractured.

This often leaves us wrestling with difficult and confusing questions like, how do we love others well, in a godly and healthy way, without inviting continual injury? How can we protect our hearts from what is harmful while nourishing it with everything life giving and true? How do we grieve well, without bitterness, and while holding tightly to hope?

Or perhaps to phrase it differently, how do we experience the victorious, thriving life Christ promised in every situation? Without allowing other people’s behavior to negatively affect ours?

Is this even possible?

These were some of the questions I addressed last weekend when I spoke to a group of women in Rockford, Michigan. While there, I heard stories of deep mother-daughter wounds. Of seemingly irreparably broken friendships. And listening, I recalled the hurt others had shared withe me shortly before. Of challenging marriages and shattered trust. And on occasion, of situations where women realized, despite their longing for reconciliation, wisdom required distance. And in every instance, I heard sorrow expressed.

I could relate. I imagine you can, too. We’ve all suffered the effects of living in a sin-tainted world that is far from what God intended; far from the joyful paradise for which we’re destined.

We are all living somewhere within the messy middle, and that hurts. But that doesn’t mean we can’t receive joy and peace amidst the storm. While I’m still on this journey of becoming and receiving, God has and is teaching me some things regarding how to thrive, even while my soul aches.

I’m learning to give myself space to mourn, and to recognize the holy thread woven through my grief. God created us to give and receive love, without fear or injury. To crave emotional intimacy and healthy connection. That is what we’re destined for, and therefore the states for which we’ll always long.

But God’s showed me that I also must always grieve with hope, keeping my heart open to the possibility that, one day, things might change. This is and may always feel hard—finding a way to accept what is without hardening myself against potential miracles to come. Even if that means my heart remains a little bruised.

In the meantime, I seek God’s perspective—of my hurts, the other person, and the situation—recognizing my perspective is limited, tainted by scars previously incurred, including past interactions with the individual, and often deceived. Once He’s corrected my view, or removed my plank, so to speak, I ask for His guidance on how to proceed. He usually only tells me my next couple steps, and that always involves resting in Him.

Receiving from Him.

Letting Him fill my soul—with Him. The God who knows me fully, loves me completely, and will never leave.

The God who says to each of us, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:10, NIV).

Let’s talk about this. How do you heal, nourish, and protect your heart when others wound it?

If this resonates with you, you might also receive encouragement from this Faith Over Fear episode titled “When Relationships Hurt: Finding Healing, Safety, and Hope in Christ”.

Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships – Faith Over Fear

In this episode of Faith Over Fear, Jennifer Slattery welcomes Christian counselor and author Dr. Kris Reece for a candid conversation about toxic relationships, manipulation, people-pleasing, and the confusion many believers experience when love becomes unhealthy and emotionally draining. Dr. Kris shares insights from her experience in a narcissistic marriage and as a clinician and explains why unhealthy relationship patterns can be difficult to recognize, especially for those who have spent years trying to earn approval, keep the peace, or carry responsibility for others. Together, Jennifer and Kris explore what Scripture teaches about guarding our hearts, setting healthy boundaries, and identifying fear-driven motivations. Listeners will learn how to discern the difference between Christ-led love and unhealthy self-sacrifice, find freedom from people-pleasing, and pursue relationships marked by wisdom, peace, and truth. Resource Discussed: Breaking the Narcissist's Grip: A Christian’s Guide to Cutting the Strings of Manipulation, Setting Boundaries That Stick, and Reclaiming Your Life From Takers by Kris Reece (Author) Scriptures Discussed Psalm 34:18 Proverbs 4:23 2 Timothy 3:1–5 2 Corinthians 10:5 1 John 4:18 2 Corinthians 9:7 Matthew 5:37 Galatians 1:10 Psalm 139:23–24 Connect with Dr. Kris Reece: On her website On Instagram On Facebook On YouTube Follow her work on Amazon Find Jennifer Slattery: On her website Instagram Facebook Amazon Subscribe to her free newsletter Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Celebrating a joyful, painful, Hope-filled Christmas

by Jennifer Slattery on December 24, 2025December 24, 2025

This Christmas feels paradoxical. I wonder if you can relate. Part of me—the wife and mom in me—is looking forward to a simple celebration with those I love most. But my heart also … carries the weight of conflicting emotions. Perhaps my undercurrents of melancholy stem from the weather—less light each day, the blue sky of fall blanketed in gray, and nights that come sooner and lasts longer. It could also be because holidays and birthdays, historically, haven’t always felt so nostalgic or enjoyable.

And then there’s the loss of my dad, who I would’ve called today, despite the fact that he hated Christmas, and would likely tell me so. And the loss of my funny, brilliant and oh, so humble father-in-law two years prior.

Yet that’s also why Christmas feels so profound. Christ entered a world with relational, emotional, and global chaos. He saw our darkness and despair and didn’t turn away. Instead, He responded with a compassion that drew Him close. He left heaven’s glory, took on flesh, stepped into our brokenness, and later, carried the weight of the world’s sin and sorrow on His shoulders so we could experience healing, freedom, and relational intimacy with the God who never leaves.

When this season feels confusing, when praise and sorrow, joy and grief, intertwine, I celebrate because:

Christ came.
Pain and hardship won’t get the final say.
Love reigns.
Hope prevails.
Light remains and holds the power to chase the deepest darkness away.

If your heart feels torn…
If you’re grateful and grieving…
If you love the season but feel the ache beneath it…
If anxiety hums quietly in the background alongside your smiles…

I see you. I get it. And so does Jesus. On Christmas morning, He came for you. He’s still coming for you—in your hard and in your joy—and He won’t leave.

Because of His presence, Immanuel, God with us: “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.”— Isaiah 9:2

Merry Christmas, friend. Hold tight to this truth: the best is yet to come.

Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships – Faith Over Fear

When Christmas Feels Exhausting: Pursuing Peace in Christ’s Presence–Guest post by peyton Garland

by Jennifer Slattery on December 18, 2025December 17, 2025

First, I must tell you how FUN it is to share today’s content with you as Peyton was my editor at iBelieve for some time. I love how God allows connections to form and remain in this industry! But, enough of my sentimentality.

When Christmas Feels Exhausting

by Peyton Garland

“I don’t enjoy Christmas anymore,” I told my husband just this year. There have been so many hurt feelings stirred between family members, so many endless demands to bend to others’ holiday schedules, that I spend Christmas surviving, not celebrating. But I don’t want that, especially for my son who needs to know that this holiday is centered on our salvation—our reason for joy, no matter the season.

So where is my disconnect? What am I lacking to feel and appreciate Christmas deep in my soul?

Vulnerability.

2 Corinthians 8:21 reminds us, “For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man.” Notice, we are called to do what is right—to be lovingly open and honest with others and ourselves included.

True connection requires vulnerability, which demands that you get a bit uncomfortable. It asks you to share the pieces of yourself that aren’t always right or put together. Connection won’t allot extra time for you to create a presentable version of yourself because it wants more from you than a mere presentation. Connection needs authenticity that will sustain relationships long after the curtains close and the audience goes home.

The answer to unlocking true connection is prayer. It’s honest, open, holding-nothing-back conversations with God. It requires you to silence the electronic devices and be uncomfortable in the quiet, letting God have a turn to share what your soul needs to change for the better.

Your response to prayer is vital in determining just how rooted you stay in Christ and how connected you stay with others this busy season. When your response to prayer is repentance, your heart softens. It gives way to honest, encouraging conversations with others. It fosters better patience with family, friends, and coworkers.

When there’s nothing to mask, there’s no hidden exhaustion from creating, presenting, and maintaining a false persona that your heart knows is fake.

This Christmas, don’t neglect the joy of your salvation to check off all the holiday to-do’s. Set reasonable boundaries for your family to protect the true meaning of this season: soul-filled peace.

Of course, this isn’t a free ticket to be hateful or rude to others, but recognize when you are sacrificing the spiritual well-being of yourself and your family to please others. Be honest, even if it’s uncomfortable, when you must say, “Our family is maxed out right now. Unfortunately, we can’t come.”

Instead of obeying a hectic schedule solely for the sake of always seeming prepared enough to do all the things, create traditions rooted in intimacy and slower evenings, traditions centered on celebrating Jesus and honoring His blessing of life-giving family and friends.

Let true connection keep you grounded this Christmas season, as truth fills your heart and stills your mind to take in the vulnerable beauty of the Savior in a manger.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Get to Know Peyton Garland:

Peyton Garland is an author, editor, and boy mama who lives in the beautiful foothills of East Tennessee. Subscribe to her blog Uncured+Okay for more encouragement.

Check Out Her Book, Tired, Hungry, and Kinda Faithful: Where Exhaustion and Exile Meet God:

“For I know the plans I have for—”

No doubt, you know that Jeremiah 29:11 is all about a promising future for the believer. But what about Jeremiah 29:14, which tells us God will drive his children into a treacherous exile—the very place he wants to be found?

How can exile offer hope? Why would a good God force his beloved into life’s wastelands? Often, our Christian bubbles water down the answer to surviving on life’s grim, bland manna, but what if the wilderness isn’t as draining and barren as we thought? What if we are called to exile’s supposed desolation to, instead, discover God’s vibrant works in the most impossible situations?

If you are juggling spiritual and physical hunger, exhaustion, and a mediocre faith that constantly thirsts for more of God’s true nature, I invite you to traverse both lush and lacking terrains as we discover an even brighter, more real picture of God’s goodness.

For more encouragement and tips on creating the Christmas your heart and soul needs, check out the Faith Over Fear episode titled “Anxiety and Stress Threatening Your Christmas? Practical Steps to Find Holiday Peace“

Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships – Faith Over Fear

When Family Drama Threatens to Sour Christmas – Guest post by peggysue wells

by Jennifer Slattery on December 11, 2025December 10, 2025

One morning, my teen groused around the house.

I tried to cheer her with pancakes and jokes.

She absently pushed a pancake around on her plate.

My efforts didn’t improve her attitude. Feeling rejected, I was tempted to give her the silent treatment. How easy to say, “When will you clean your bathroom?”

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all,” Romans 12:18. If we’re doing our best to live peaceably, why do family gatherings become a place where we emotionally abuse one another and have pie?

1. Something happens or is said, done, not said, or not done that results in me feeling rejected. Efforts to cheer my daughter were rebuffed.

2. Resentful about feeling rejected, I make up a story about my teen’s behavior.

3. Feeling resentment, I resist relationship by giving the silent treatment.

4. Resistance turns into revenge. My verbal attack about her bathroom would hurt her in the same way I feel she has hurt me.

5. Repeat.. She didn’t engage with me, I disengaged from her, she distances herself from my barbs, and the pattern continues.

These 5 Rs destroy relationships: rejection, resentment, resistance, revenge, repeat.

This cycle becomes automatic and expected. The aunt perpetually offended with someone. The relative who plays favorites. The sibling who pouts when he doesn’t get his way.

Reverse the 5 Rs.

1. Resentment You are stuck in resentment when you are stuck in drama.

“He needs to …”

“I’m not perfect but …”

“She should …”

Solution: Shift to gratitude.

“I’m grateful he …”

“What fun to …”

“I’m thankful she …”

2. Resistance is shutting down emotionally and relationally.

Solution: Engage. Make eye contact, have conversations. Get clear by saying, “The story I’m making up in my head about (situation) is _______________.”

3. Revenge is wanting another to feel hurt.

Words like, “Now he will know how it feels.”

“Serves her right.”

“He had it coming,” signal revenge.

Solution: Give grace generously for healthy relationships.

4. Repeat. Being hurt, you hurt someone, and they hurt you, and you are offended, and they are offended, and both people dive into the 5 Rs.

Solution: Release others from your expectations of how they should act or behave.

“Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.” ~ King Solomon (Prov. 12:16).

The moment you feel rejected, choose the 5 Rs, or choose grace, joy, and health.

Rejection is based on understanding what is fact and what is fiction. The fact is:

1. my teen refused to be cheered up

2. my adult child has a life that doesn’t center around me

3. I was not recognized at an important event

We instantly make up a story about what those facts mean.

1. My teenager thinks I stink as a parent

2. My adult child keeps me out of their life

3. I am not important

We act and react based on the made-up story as if the fictional story were truth.

Instead, stick to the facts.

1. To my teen, I said, “The story I’m making up in my head is I stink as a parent and you’d rather be anywhere than here with me.”

My teen responded, “I just learned the boy I babysit has leukemia.” (Note to self: Most folks are not even thinking about me.)

2. Adult children are not obligated to keep their parents updated on their schedules. I can be thankful they have productive lives.

3. Though it doesn’t look as I expected, I am important and part of the event. Will this situation matter in five years? Maybe. Now, I choose to enjoy the celebration.

Most things people say or do, don’t say, don’t do, and accidentally do or don’t do rarely have anything to do with you. (Yes, that’s a lot of do-do.) We’re doing our best to live as well as we can.

Occasionally, people reject you. The vital aspect is how you respond. Without the 5 Rs, family gatherings are no emotional drama and all of the pie.

For more tips on building family relationships, see The Ten Best Decisions A Single Mom Can Make by Pam Farrel and PeggySue Wells.

Get to Know PeggySue Wells:

PeggySue Wells is an award-winning USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestselling author, writing coach, and independent publishing strategist who inspires readers and writers alike with nearly 50 captivating books and practical guides.

Check Out Her and Pam Ferrel’s book, The 10 Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make: A Biblical Guide for Navigating Family Life on Your Own:

No matter how you became a single mom, you share the same challenges and fears all single moms have. You may feel stretched to the limit. You may suspect your children need more than you’re able to give. How are you going to do this on your own?

With humor, Scripture, and sage advice, Pam Farrel (child of a single mother) and PeggySue Wells (single parent of 7 children) show you how to

– be decisive
– create a nurturing home
– be proactive
– date wisely
– pray for your child
– embrace your happily-ever-after
– and more

You are capable of parenting your children with courage, confidence, and clarity. This loving, practical guide shows you how.

Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships – Faith Over Fear

Decrease Your Anxiety this holiday season – guest post by Kathy Bruins

by Jennifer Slattery on December 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Christmas always carries with it memories. Some wonderful and some not so great.

I had never really hosted a big family gathering before, but I decided to host my husband’s family for Christmas shortly after we were married. I had a new China set I was excited to use, along with new utensils. I decorated the tree and put cute Christmas items throughout the house. I tied Christmas scarves on my dogs, Max and Walker. I researched recipes for prime rib because that is what his family always served on Christmas.

Let’s not forget the Christmas cards I needed to send out, the cookies I needed to bake and share, while working 40 hours a week, and participating in all the activities that Christmas brings: choir, Christmas program, and Christmas caroling.

Along with this, I adopted John’s family’s traditions so they would love Christmas at my house. This included candy cane cookies and learning to play pinochle (they joked, “must learn to be a part of the family”). Did I mention that 15 people were coming? Remember, I took all of this on to be fully accepted by the family as one of their own (i.e., self-inflicted).

Rejection was a fear I carried back then. Not being good enough, like cliques in high school where I was on the outside, stayed with me after graduation. What if my husband’s family hated having Christmas here and thought I was a loser? These dramatic thoughts were real for me as I struggled with approval. Back then, I felt I couldn’t be myself because I wouldn’t be accepted.

These experiences always seem to stick in our minds, filed neatly in our brains. Then something or someone hits a button that may or may not connect to one of those files; it doesn’t matter, because the whole file drawer comes flying out, and reports from the files are flung all over our minds. Merry Christmas …

How did I enjoy Christmas Day? I didn’t. Exhaustion and anxiety took all the joy out of the day. Although my intentions were good, my methods were not. But here’s what I learned.

Finding peace in the chaos of the world is a true gift. Jesus is the Prince of Peace and knows exactly how you are feeling and what to do to find harmonic contentment in your soul.

First, get rid of your fears. Fears come from wounds we’ve experienced and lies told to us. Healing over these hurts can occur when we practice forgiveness. Here are some ways to forgive someone:

Know that forgiving someone doesn’t mean that they are the winner; in fact, you are the true victor in allowing God to take from you the hurts, and you carry them no longer. You become free to become the person God wants you to be.
Pray for the person you want to forgive. God loves the person you are forgiving. Even though you may not feel it now, or ever, praying for them is powerful. Miracles happen every day.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to interact with them like you once did. If that does happen at some time, great, but a little distance during the healing is good.
When the bad feelings about that person arise in you, remember your decision to forgive them. That will bring you calmness.

Second, you are worthy:

God is concerned with your heart. I imagine God loves to sit just with you and talk about your heart and how He can bless you. He already knows, but you realizing it is powerful.
He loves you so much – God did not create you to increase your stress during the Christmas season. His relationship with you is His concern and passion,
You have a right to rest in Jesus’ presence, which is a holy moment. It’s priceless, and you are welcome to experience it.

Third, plan with focus:

What gives you joy? Discern what Christmas items give you joy and do them.
What gives you peace? Again, whatever it is, do it.
When do you feel God’s presence? An important part of the whole. Don’t let the celebrations take God out of the experience.

If you do not send the cards, make the cookies, or decorate the tree, it’s okay. Let go and lay these empty hands at God’s feet for His filling. There are more important things that you need to do to protect your spirit and mind during the season. If someone really needs one of those things done, let them do it.

Don’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty. They may use a comparison statement like, “Aunt Trudy’s Christmas was so great because she made her mashed potatoes with a special seasoning, not just butter (like yours).” “Your tree could use some more tinsel and lights,” is another statement I have heard in the past. Don’t let the hurt, shame, or guilt stay with you. Simply say, “Thank you for your suggestion, but this is how I like to do it.” You show more class and strength in not having to defend yourself, but say, “This is me.” Don’t hold their statements against them (forgiving). Just laugh inside at their silly remarks and be proud of how you are blooming as a person.

Journal your experiences with a calm and bright Christmas to remember what you did and how it felt. I hope you see, like I do, that the activities you decide to participate in are more joyful because you have the emotional bandwidth to do them.

Scripture:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).

Get to Know Kathy Bruins

Kathy Bruins is an award-winning writer that helps creatives take the next step in their journey through consultation, teaching, coaching, and praying. Kathy is the founder of The Well Ministries for Creatives and The Well Publishers. Kathy wanted to do voiceover originally for audiobooks but has learned of the many opportunities available from her Great Voice training. She lives in Southwest Michigan. Contact Kathy at kbruins77@gmail.com

Check Out Her Release: Essential Keys for Marital Success:

Is there room for increased happiness in your marriage or relationship with that special someone? Learning how to relate with another person is vital to achieve a loving connection that feels so good. Essential Keys for Marital Success shares ways to reach that goal.

It’s more than focusing on better intimacy but looks at the whole relationship. There are ways

to improve your friendship with your spouse or partner, discover new information about

them that touch your heart, relinquishing your rights, missing them, and so much more.

Whether you are married or considering marriage, this book is a solid tool. Information is

invaluable to make your connection the best. Return the joy into your marriage by following the

insights of each chapter.

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~

For additional holiday stress-reducing tips, keep watch for the upcoming Faith Over Fear podcast episode titled: Less Stress, More Joy and Connection with Christ This Christmas, accessed on your favorite podcast app.

Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships – Faith Over Fear

Unwrapping rest this holiday season – Guest post by Maureen Miller

by Jennifer Slattery on November 20, 2025November 19, 2025

I could hear her weariness, though her message was merely a short text–I tossed and turned all night. I’m so stressed about finding a home and getting settled. I want to put up a tree and buy gifts for the kids, but I’m afraid I’m failing miserably. My dear friend and her three children were temporarily living in another’s home. As the time she’d anticipated moving drew nearer, she was anxious, and I sensed anxiety rising up within me as well.Lord, how do I encourage her?And right then, I heard God’s quiet voice–

What does Psalm 62 say?

I knew. Having committed portions of this particular passage to memory, the words were hidden in my heart, so I answered—Find rest in You alone, God. Our hope—yes, our expectation—should only come from You.The Amplified and King James versions both use expectation, not just hope, in their exhortation, and with regard to the holiday hype—the world’s voice particularly loud, vying for attention—this reminder from the Lord seemed a simple grace.

As I pondered this passage, applying it particularly to my friend’s situation—her stress over unmet expectations causing her unrest—I discovered several timely truths. First, we can unwrap rest from stress. Look at both words. Can you see it? Takes a little rearranging perhaps—reevaluating the use of one’s time, one’s resources. Ask the Lord to reveal His expectations for the Christmas season, enabling us to prioritize according to His best, reordering our plans so they align with His will, not necessarily the ways of the world—the urges and temptations to do more, buy more, be more.

After all, there’s no rest apart from God’s best.

Second, to unwrap rest in the season’s stress, some things may need to be omitted. Literally speaking, letters don’t only need to be rearranged but several must be dropped to reveal the word rest in stress. Ask the Lord what needs to be relinquished so that better rest becomes a reality.Though perhaps contrary to one’s tradition, this might mean omitting plans to travel, choosing instead to stay home rather than accruing added expenses. It may mean omitting elaborate, pricey presents from the gift list or resisting the expectation to buy costly decorations and groceries. Ask the Lord what He would omit that His presence might be experienced best.

After all, the sweetest rest is while snuggled at His breast.

Finally, the truth that rearranged plans and diminished expectations lead to rest, even in the midst of life’s stress, is nothing new, and it’s not merely for the month of December.Take, for example, the Holy Family all those years ago. Nothing about Jesus’s conception within the womb of an unwed girl met Mary’s expectations. Joseph’s or others’ either.The couple’s plans in the little town of Bethlehem changed unexpectedly when Jesus pressed upon His young mother. Labor told her it was time, creating panic, no doubt, in the heart of a protective husband and father.A smelly barn wasn’t likely what these new parents expected as the birthplace of their firstborn. Nor had they imagined a feeding trough being Emmanuel’s first bed—God with us welcomed by cows and sheep, perhaps a mourning dove’s song His first lullaby.The humble shepherds on the Judean hillside would have been the least expected to witness the new King’s arrival, and their message of the Messiah undoubtedly made some raise an eyebrow, questioning the accuracy of their account.Indeed, little about Jesus’s conception and birth was according to the world’s expectations. Still, He came just as God intended—a Gift of perfect peace and rest to all who intentionally come, pressing in despite the stress of life, to bend low, to be still in His presence.

After all, the sweetest rest is when one knows that—yes!—Emmanuel is God.

May we unwrap rest in the One who was wrapped in swaddling clothes.May we rest in Christ alone.Dear Jesus, it seems we’re most susceptible at Christmas—feeling the dichotomy, that tug-of-war in our souls, between resting in the quiet of the manger and being caught up in the world’s expectations, in a flurry of holiday frill. Nothing gives the enemy more delight, because it only pulls us further from You, the Reason for the season. Forgive us, sweet Savior. Remind us daily—moment by moment—why You came, and help us be worthy messengers of Your peace and rest in a weary, worried world. Amen.**(This post appeared first in Inspire A Fire, an online publication I’m privileged to write for each month. Check it out!)**

(If this post resonated with you, check out THIS podcast episode on practical ways to decrease our stress and anxiety and experience more peace.)

Get to Know Maureen Miller:

Maureen Miller is an award-winning author with stories in more than twenty collaboratives. She contributes to Guideposts’ All God’s Creatures, her local newspaper, and several online devotion sites, including the award-winning Arise Daily and Inspire A Fire. Married for thirty-six years to her childhood sweetheart Bill, she enjoys life with their three born-in-their-hearts children and three grand-girls, not to mention a variety of furry beasts. They live on Selah Farm, a hobby homestead nestled in the mountains of western North Carolina. She blogs at “Windows and Wallflowers” (Maureenmillerauthor.com), telling of God’s extraordinary character discovered in the ordinary things of life, and her debut novel, Gideon’s Book, is now available.

Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships – Faith Over Fear

Finding Safe People With whom to share your pain

by Jennifer Slattery on November 13, 2025November 12, 2025

When we’re hurting, we don’t want people to bombard us with advice, try to top our struggle with stories of their own, or respond with dismissive platitudes. Sadly, those types of reactions tend to make us feel even more isolated.

If you’ve experienced something similar, you can understand how defeated and alone Rhonda felt when she returned home with her newborn while her newly transferred husband was setting things up for the family in a new city. Sleep-deprived and emotionally overwhelmed as a new mom in the middle of transition, she arrived at her parents’ house aching for encouragement and support. Instead, her mother met her pain with criticism that left Rhonda feeling ashamed and alone in her struggle.

But while she left that visit feeling more inadequate than ever, the Lord comforted her bruised soul through the loving, wise words of someone who truly saw her heart, understood her difficulty, and validated her emotions. That conversation helped her see her mom’s lack of empathy for what it was—and showed her how to recognize whether someone is, or isn’t, a safe person with whom to share her deepest hurts.

I thought of Rhonda’s story this week while listening to my cohost’s conversation with Chris Morris on the Faith Over Fear podcast. Chris shared about a time he felt so hopeless he tried to end his life and awoke in a mental hospital, initially angry that his attempt had failed. Back then, he felt no one understood his pain. Now, he has seven people he can call anytime he’s struggling—friends who listen before advising and love instead of criticizing.

In a recent Instagram post, he shared tips on how to find your safe people—those spiritual brothers and sisters who reflect the love and grace of Christ when we need it most:

Be authentic but brief when someone asks how you’re doing. Say something like, “It’s been a challenging season,” instead of the default “I’m fine.” This invites connection without overexposing your heart.
Notice their reaction. If they ask more, share for a minute or two. Their response will show whether they’re open to deeper friendship or uncomfortable with your honesty.
Look for curiosity, not judgment. Safe people don’t rush to fix, preach, or one-up your pain. They listen, care, and say, “That sounds hard. Tell me more.”

I’d love to hear from you—how do you recognize safe people in your life? Share your thoughts below so we can encourage one another. I also encourage you to listen to Chris’s story in this week’s Faith Over Fear podcast episode. And make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a single episode!

Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships – Faith Over Fear

Cultivating Wonder – Guest Post by Becky Harling

by Jennifer Slattery on November 6, 2025November 6, 2025

This past week, I have to admit, I felt a bit overwhelmed. Delayed flights, lost suitcases, books that had to be mailed out, and deadlines that had to be met all left me feeling a bit spazy. I was fearful I would forget some detail and drop the ball on some deadline. Ever felt that way?

Early this morning, after worshiping and surrendering my day to the Lord, I opened my Bible to Mark chapter 9. After I read about the glory of the transfiguration, I read about Jesus coming to a large crowd. The following words struck me: “As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet Him” (Mark 9:15). It was one of those divine moments when I felt the Holy Spirit speaking right to my heart!

The crowd was overwhelmed with wonder. They weren’t overwhelmed by all they had to accomplish. They were overwhelmed because they came face-to-face with the majesty of Jesus Christ.

What does it mean for you and me to be overwhelmed with wonder?

It means we are awestruck by His love. When we really understand how much God loves us, the depth of His love takes our breath away. We realize we never have to feel worried again because God Almighty loves us so much that He holds every detail of our lives lovingly in His hands. We realize His love is so great that nothing can separate us from His love. As a result, we are never alone.

It means we are stunned by His grace and mercy. I never want to take His grace for granted. When I get frazzled or frantic, His grace is extended. When I worry, foolishly obsessing over “what ifs” or “what thens,” His grace pours out on me and reminds me that He is the blessed controller of all things. I can let go of my worries. I can simply rest in His peace and once again experience the joy of His grace and mercy.

It means we are amazed at His righteousness and faithfulness. I can’t even wrap my human mind around God’s goodness. He is so righteous my imagination can’t comprehend it, and He is so faithful that I am simply flabbergasted! His perfect nature compels me to fall on my knees and worship. He is the glorious One in whom there is no shadow of sin or shame. As I worship Him in His glorious nature, my mind is calmed, and once again I experience the peace of His presence.

Friend, I want to invite you to pray with me that we will be more overwhelmed with wonder as we fix our gaze on Jesus Christ. A song that has helped me rekindle wonder has been “Holy Hands” by Hannah and Paul McClure. Don’t just listen—allow the words to lead you to deeper worship and wonder!

This week on The Connected Mom Podcast, we are introducing a new series on how to cultivate a love of reading in your child. Be sure to tune in!

Friend-Wise releases in February. I am looking for women who are willing to pre-read the book, order the book, and then help me get the word out. If you’re interested in being part of my Friend-Wise launch team, would you contact me?

Get to Know Becky Harling

A best-selling author, Becky Harling has written 16 books. She is a popular speaker at conferences, retreats and other events. Becky is a John Maxwell leadership and communications coach. She has been a guest on many media outlets including Focus on the Family, Family Life Today, 100 Huntley Street, Moody Radio and the Total Christ Television Today Show. Becky is the host of, The Connected Mom Podcast and loves encouraging other moms to connect more intentionally. She loves hiking with her husband, playing with her 14 grandkids, shopping with her daughters, hanging out with her son and having coffee with friends!

Visit her on her website and follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and her Amazon author page.

Check Out Her Book, Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World:

Loneliness is an epidemic, but you can live life with a deep sense of belonging.

If you’ve ever felt that ache to connect and belong, you’re not alone: three out of every five people are suffering from loneliness. No group is excluded—married, unmarried, parents, pastors, leaders, elderly, and teenagers. We all experience moments . . . or long seasons of heart-aching loneliness. And it hurts. It can hurt right to the core.

In Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World, relationship expert, mother, grandmother, and John Maxwell Certified Coach Becky Harling taps into the deep ache of loneliness and shares with readers a rich theology of belonging. Does God ache for us? What does it mean that we belong to Him? How do we establish a deeply bonded relationship with others? What steps can we take to improve our relationships?

Because we were made for God and for community, relational isolation or brokenness is incredibly painful. But we don’t have to live isolated and unconnected. In fact, we must not. Our souls were designed for more. Deeply rooted in Scripture and joined with reflection questions, this book shows us how we can strengthen our relationships and experience deep connection.

Grab your copy HERE.

Jennifer here. Here’s a song that has helped me to cultivate holy wonder of my God–and that I’ve currently been listening on constant replay. Enjoy!

Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships – Faith Over Fear

Living Split: The Cost of Hiding Our Wounded Half – Guest post by Jessica Brodie

by Jennifer Slattery on October 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Have you ever seen a tree split in two, yet still standing tall? It’s a beautiful and amazing thing to behold.

Recently my husband and I went camping in the Monongahela National Forest in West Virginia. I didn’t notice the tree the evening before, when we set up camp. But at dawn, I wandered a bit and discovered the tall beauty. Slender but sturdy, she rose high above our campsite. Right down the center, it looked like a perfect slice had been made from top to bottom. Yet still she stood, growing and thriving, providing shelter for countless forest creatures.

Gazing at the two halves, I began to think about how that’s sometimes the way it is with people. Many of us seem to have two halves—one that’s our private self and one that’s the version we show the world. Both halves are there, making up one whole and functioning as one for all the world to see.

Yet when you pause to look closely, you notice there’s a split. Maybe one half isn’t identical to the other. Perhaps it has scars, defects, and wounds, things that weaken its structure or weigh it down. The other side might look healthier, as if thriving. Regardless, it’s connected to that other half. Both are part of the same unit. They are one, tied together in life.

For many years I was like that—I had what felt like two widely separate “halves.” I had my public self, which pretended everything was just perfect, as if I had no problems at all. Perhaps I looked confident, invincible, like I had it all together. Yet walking alongside me in every moment was that other half—vulnerable, wounded, hurting, and overly sensitive.

That other half had a harder time trusting, a harder time confiding. It built up an armor of protection from what it assumed was a big, bad world—so much armor, in fact, that few could penetrate it. So much armor that I spent far too much energy on protecting myself from harm instead of what God really wanted me to focus on.

It was a lonely place, and I’m grateful those years are over.

That notion of a hidden self—a hidden “half”—is something I address in my latest Christian contemporary novel, Tangled Roots. In the book, Tiff has carefully constructed a façade so ironclad that no one knows she was once raised in an abusive, dysfunctional family, one of those “no good Steadmans.” She ran so far from her past both physically and emotionally that it doesn’t even cross her mind anymore, except in the occasional nightmare.

Yet when her brother is released from prison and his parole officer wants him to join Tiff in her new, wholesome hometown of Dahlia, South Carolina, her carefully concealed past now comes back to haunt her. She has to confront her past—her hidden wounds, her hidden self, not to mention her anger toward her brother and her family—in order to move into a healthy, godly future.

Do you know someone who goes through this in real life, or is that something you have been struggling with? It takes a lot of emotional and spiritual effort to maintain those two halves—so much so that the work sometimes interferes with God’s purpose for our lives. Sometimes it prevents us from forgiving those who once hurt us, or even forgiving ourselves for past sins. Sometimes it prevents us from becoming the best, healthiest version of ourselves—the person God truly wants us to be, brimming with the fruit of the Spirit.

There are times when it’s best to leave the past in the past. But sometimes, we need to deal with the pain of the past in order to let it go.

God can help with this. Church can help with this.

But once we’re free of the shackles of the past, the liberation is truly, abundantly awesome.

“So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.”—Colossians 2:10 (NLT)

Let’s talk about this! How easy or challenging do you find it to share your pain and difficulties with others? Why do you think this is? Share your thoughts in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage each other!

Get to Know Jessica Brodie

Jessica Brodie is an award-winning Christian novelist, journalist, editor, blogger, and writing coach. She is also the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate, the oldest newspaper in Methodism. Her two Christian contemporary novels, The Memory Garden and Tangled Roots, are Amazon bestsellers. Learn more about Jessica’s writing ministry and read her faith blog at http://jessicabrodie.com. She has a YouTube devotional, and you can also connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and more. She’s also produced a free eBook, A God-Centered Life: 10 Faith-Based Practices When You’re Feeling Anxious, Grumpy, or Stressed.

Check Out Her Latest Release, Tangled Roots:

Some secrets can’t stay buried forever.
Tiff Steadman has spent seven years running from the broken pieces of her past—the alcoholic parents, the convicted-felon brother, the shame of being “one of those no-good Steadmans.” Now, as editor of the Dahlia Weekly, she’s finally built the respectable life she’s always craved. With a proposal from her upstanding boyfriend Bobby, everything seems perfect.

Until her past comes knocking.

James Steadman has found God behind prison bars, but freedom feels more terrifying than his cell ever did. All he wants is a chance to reconnect with the little sister he once protected—the sister who now refuses to even acknowledge his existence. When his parole officer sends him to Dahlia, James discovers Tiff’s walls run deeper than he imagined, and starting over means confronting the wreckage they both left behind.

Two siblings. One devastating secret. And a love that refuses to let go.

As wedding plans collide with family secrets, Tiff must choose between the safe life she’s built and the messy grace that might heal them both. Can she find the courage to let her brother back into her heart? And can James prove that redemption is real—even for people like them?

In a small Southern town where everyone knows everyone’s business, some stories are too painful to tell—and too powerful to stay buried. Grab your copy HERE!

Buy Book Two in the Dahlia Series, where grace meets grit, hearts are mended, and hope finds a way to flourish.