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Posts Tagged ‘ane Mulligan’

There are times when I’m blown away by the love and grace of believers, then there are other times, well… I suppose I must remind myself that we are all a work in progress with a bit of Adam lingering. And I must also remind myself that there are times, way more than I’d like to admit, when my words and actions reflect anything but grace.

And when they do, when I’m tempted to see the rain instead of the beautiful rainbow God stretches against the sky, may I remember this poem, rainbowposted over an email loop by a sweet friend and sister in Christ, Ane Mulligan. (Most of you probably know her for her roll-on-the-floor-laugh-out-loud humor, but I suspect even amidst your giggles you’ve caught a glimpse of her Christ-infused heart.)

As you read her poem, I encourage you to see yourself in it. And the next time you’re tempted to quibble over paint, or procedure changes, or music styles, or any of the other majorly important detail sin life (eye roll) remember this poem, this steeple, and the God who sees it all.

Paint on the Wall By Matt Tullos (C) Matt Tullos

There was a church upon a hill,

Where everything was fine until

The paint inside was getting old

And peeling in some spots, I’m told.

622233_churchThe pastor called a business meeting

And after the preliminary greeting

The Deacons cried, Come one, come all.

What color should we paint the wall?

They gathered in the sanctuary

Each determined and contrary.

Sister Gayle said, What do you think

About a nice chartreuse pink?

Brother Dave said to the crowd,

Isn’t that a bit too loud?

I prefer a subtle blue,

It makes the walls look clean and new.

Six women rebuked, We want gold.

It seems much warmer, blue’s too cold!

I’m here more than all of you.

I agree with Brother Dave. Let’s paint the walls blue.

A man in the back began to bellow,

Yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow!!!!!

From that point on their voices grew stronger.

Each emotional plea became longer and longer.

Then strongly and sternly, a VOICE of great love,

Silenced the church as it spoke from above.

You wonder why you can’t hear My call

When your greatest struggle is paint on the wall.

Paint your church the pale color of skin

For you let no other races come in.

Paint your church a wealthy green,

For you ignore the starvation you’ve seen.

Paint it white and clean as uncalloused feet,

For you refuse to share My joy in the street.

I agree your church could be painted blue,

For your hearts so cold are given to few.

You give many renditions of church as a game

But you fail to water in My holy name.

You pray using eloquent ‘Thees and Thous’,

And yet you forget about the ‘heres and nows’

You struggle to be an earthly saint,

But My love must not be covered in paint.

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Although I don’t believe in denying or suppressing emotions, I do believe in approaching them with caution and balance. There are times when our reasoning must over-ride our emotional response. This is often the case with forgiveness. Most often, I believe the determined choice to forgive comes first. The emotions follow as God aligns our emotions to match our choice. Today Ane Mulligan shares how this proved true in her life.

*     *     *

The Hardest Ones to Forgive by Ane Mulligan

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is the one we love the most. We expect better from them. I can’t even remember what the argument was about, now, or what he said that hurt my feelings.

But I definitely remember the feelings. You know the “poor me” ones. Why is it wallowing in self-pity feels so good? I stood at the kitchen sink, long after he’d gone to work, washing the same cup over and over again and crying.

Of course, y’all know that’s exactly when the Holy Spirit decided this was an excellent time for an attitude adjustment. Well, I couldn’t agree more. The hubs certainly needed one!

Oh … You meant me? ME?

 

I argued with the Lord for a while. I mean really. After what I’d been subjected to, I needed some more wallow time. Finally I said, “Okay, Lord. Take these feelings from me. I forgive him.”

I dunked the cup back in the water, splashing soap bubbles up in my face. As quickly as I’d handed over my feelings to God, I snatched them back. “But he was so mean.”

Disclaimer here: the hubs was not mean. It was a clear case of I was right and he was wrong and refused to admit it—wink.

This tug-of-war with my self-pity went on for another 20 minutes. Finally, I gave up and gave into God. I let Him take my feelings and work on me. He could work on the hubs later.

I dried the cup and put it away. Then I tried to tap into my feelings again, but the Lord had done what He promised. They were gone. There wasn’t one iota of self-pity left. I’d truly forgiven.

What a freeing feeling. I had to laugh. I could hear the Lord chuckling at me and laughter is so contagious.

Hmm … I may try that next time.

Ane Mulligan writes Southern-fried fiction served with a tall, sweet iced tea. While a large, floppy straw hat is her favorite, she’s worn many different ones: hairdresser, legislative affairs director (that’s a fancy name for a lobbyist), business manager, drama director and writer—her lifetime experience provides a plethora of fodder for fiction (try saying that three times fast). She’s editor of the popular literary blog Novel Journey—one of Writers Digest’s 101 Top Websites for Writers, a humor columnist for ACFW’s e-zine Afictionado, and a past Board member of ACFW. She’s published dozens of plays and numerous articles and won several awards in contests for unpublished novels. A mom and grandmother, she resides in Suwanee, GA, with her husband and one very large dog.

You can find her at:
Her personal website Southern-fried Fiction
Come back tomorrow as we discuss how to handle perpetual wounds. What do you do when the one you’re trying to forgive continues to hurt you?

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