Living Loved

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Quote on identity with purple background

As we grow in Christ, we begin to discover who we truly are, and our actions necessarily follow. Living deeply rooted in our Christ-centered identity does much more than simply build our confidence. It also greatly impacts how we respond to others and provides a powerful insulator against sin. In each moment, we are living as a deeply loved child of God, held secure by Christ, or as an orphan forced to fight through life on our own. We can act as if we have to prove ourselves, or we can rest in who we are, all God’s done, and all He’s promised yet to do.

When I first sensed God calling me into ministry, I was plagued by insecurity. While I knew, intellectually, God alone was my Savior and Lord, I routinely lived as if I held those titles. My mental role reversal caused me to strive rather than surrender and to see every challenge as a threat instead of opportunities to experience God’s care. I responded to financial and health threats in a similar manner—acting as if abandoned and forced to navigate a harsh world on my own.

This inevitably led to unloving, harsh, and self-centered behavior that hurt others and hindered my intimacy with Christ. Increased freedom came when I progressively found myself in Him.

I belonged to Christ, purchased with His very life. To free me from hell, yes, but also to bridge the gap my sin had wedged between us. In other words, the God of all creation, of infinite wisdom and power, suffered and died to forge an intimate, inseparable, soul-deep bond with me. To turn one of His enemies into His adopted child.

I’m never alone. My Daddy, who’s bigger and greater than anything that could ever come against me, stands ready to come to my aid.

No matter the circumstance or threat, I can relax, knowing God remains with me, has God's plans won't fail on purpose backgrounda plan for me, and will perfect all that concerns me. Those truths provide powerful armor I can sink deeply into when temptations hit.

Without that armor, I invite attack.

Notice the tactics Satan used when tempting Jesus.

3 And the tempter came and said to Him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” 4 But He answered, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

5 Then the devil took Him to the holy city and set Him on the pinnacle of the temple 6 and said to Him, “If you are the Son of God, throw Yourself down, for it is written …” (Matthew 4:3-6, ESV, emphasis mine).

It’s as if he’s mocking Jesus, saying, “If You really are who You say You are …”

When I’ve experienced something similar, I often felt compelled to prove myself. Not Jesus. Instead, He calmly but firmly spoke truth, repeating, “It is written …”

Jesus knew who He was and Who had called Him. Everything else was irrelevant. Everything else is irrelevant to us as well. Regardless of what we face or how others treat us, you and I belong to the God who formed us, loves and redeemed us, and calls us to greatness. We have nothing to prove and no reason to fight for control. We simply need to sink more deeply in who we are and all the blessings and provisions available to us as daughters of Christ.

Let’s talk about this! How has identity-confusion led to sin in your life? What is one way you can anchor yourself more securely in your true identity? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

graphic for Faith Over Fear episode 41If you’re a parent of a kiddo aged 11-18, I encourage you to listen to the latest Faith Over Fear episode titled Courage to Fight for Our Kids.

And, mamas of girls, make sure to sign up for Wholly Loved’s virtual mother-daughter conference. Find out more HERE. And make sure to connect with me on Facebook and Instagram.

For those following the chronological, New Testament Bible reading plan …

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Picture of Ashley outside resting against a tree trunkHer greatest strength, the one that had enabled her to overcome incredible challenges, was not only being called into question but was condemned. It was our daughter’s first real job, her first time out of state, on her own. Really, her first steps into the world of adulthood. But a critical roommate turned what God intended for a blessing into months of rejection and pain.

And as I listened to her relay all her roommate had said and done, my anger and sorrow began to rise. Had we been discussing an issue of sin, then perhaps I could’ve understood. Even agreed with the young woman, encouraging my daughter to embrace truth as she attempted to grow in her faith and talents.

And perhaps had our daughter been home, surrounded by her friends, her support system, the criticism wouldn’t have cut so deeply. But there she sat, over 1,000 miles away, barely twenty years old and embracing a role many adults would find intimidating, and her every move, her every word, her very identity, was being challenged. To make matters more confusing, this other woman, who was older than my daughter, claimed to be a Christian, and often used Scripture to back up her condemnations.

“Mom, what’s wrong with me?” my daughter asked.

My response: “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Do not let her challenge the core of who you are. Those things that make you strong. That make you you.”

Though my daughter knew I was right, it was hard to shake off the insecurity her roommate triggered. Those inner lies that cropped up when life became hard and others acted ugly, lies that told her she was annoying or not good enough kept playing through her mind.

But my daughter kept pressing, kept praying, and kept going to work each day, refusing to cower to one woman’s faulty opinion. And over time, reality hit. She began to notice instances when her roommate was critical of others, belittled others behind their back, and viewed everyone and everything through a lens of judgment. This provided the context that allowed my daughter to see the situation more clearly.

She gained the wisdom necessary to shake off the rejection and move forward in godly confidence.

In Matthew 7:5, Jesus instructs us, when in relational conflict, to first remove the beam out of woman praying with text of quote pulled from articleour eye so that we can see clearly. In context, He’s addressing the person doing the judging, the person with a critical spirit, but I believe the general principle applies to both sides. So often, we have planks, whether pride, areas of deception, or wounds caused by past hurts, that distort our vision. Only God can see the situation clearly. Therefore, the best thing we can do, whenever conflict arises, is to seek Jesus. To ask Him to show us what’s really going on—our role and the other person’s.

When we do that, we may find, as my daughter did, that the issue isn’t about us at all. Other times, He may show us areas we need to change. Either way, by leaning into Him and seeking His wisdom, we step deeper into freedom and in situations like my daughter experienced, learn to move from rejected to deeply and wholly loved.

If this post encouraged you, pop over to the Wholly Loved website to watch a short video devotion on “shaking off the dust” of rejection. You can watch it HERE.

I also encourage you to sign up for my free quarterly e-mailing to receive great content (short stories, inspirational messages, recipes, and more) sent directly to your inbox. You can do that HERE.