When Someone Responds to Your Anxiety by Stating You Need More Faith – Guest Post by Mel Davis

by Jennifer Slattery on July 2, 2026July 2, 2026

“You just don’t have enough faith.”

It’s etched into my memory of a pastor telling me that years ago when I told him about my anxiety. Which, ironically, gave me more anxiety.

I walked away wondering, “Am I a bad Christian? Do I really not have enough faith?” A pit formed in my stomach thinking that I wasn’t doing enough. The room felt as if it was closing in on me, and I looked around to find the nearest exit. All of a sudden, I was getting flashbacks of all the memories in high school.

My earliest memory that I have of an actual anxiety attack was when I was 17 years old at a rehearsal for a school play. I didn’t know what it was at the time. It just felt like something was genuinely wrong. In my head, it felt like I had 100 computer tabs open that wouldn’t close. I went to the doctor and was told that it was anxiety. And from there, my anxiety progressed as I got older.

“Christians don’t have anxiety,” is what was being taught around me at the church I was attending at the time. Therefore, I didn’t feel like a real Christian. It produced shame which led to minimum prayers and reading of my Bible less.

All I kept thinking was, “I can’t be a Christian and have anxiety.”

Years later, after I got married, I connected with a Christian therapist through a free resource. As I shared my experiences, she listened carefully and eventually explained that I struggled with several anxiety disorders and OCD. It was almost like there was a rolodex going through my mind and piecing details together like I was Sherlock Holmes. I once again felt shame, but then she reminded me of this passage in the Bible.

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (ESV)

Here’s what I love about this passage. Paul pleads three times for God to remove his thorn, and where else do we see something similar in the Bible? In Gethsemane when Jesus prayed to God three times to let the cup pass from Him.

“Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled.Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”

And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on.See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”” Matthew 26:36-46 (ESV)

Both Paul and Jesus ultimately submitted to God’s will even when both fully had faith. God didn’t remove their trials, but instead provided the grace and strength to endure.

What if God allows our “thorns” to keep us totally dependent on Him?

A great quote that I love from C.S. Lewis is, “You may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God.”

I was reminded that I can indeed have both: be a Christian and struggle with anxiety. It doesn’t make me any less of a Christian.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15 (ESV)

Having faith doesn’t always mean we get our prayers answered. Even if God doesn’t remove the “thorn” He sustains and strengthens us through it. Having faith also doesn’t mean that we are immune to feeling anything negative. If Jesus faced this, then we should give ourselves grace.

I still pray that one day I will be healed, our God is a Healer and can perform miracles; but maybe that won’t be until I am in Heaven. And that’s okay. Learning to accept my “thorn” is what allows me to write to you today about my own struggle with anxiety.

I’m not enough, but Jesus is.

In certain cases, both Jesus and medicine are needed because everybody is unique. As Christians, we need to do better to break the stigma, and not use manipulating tactics as well as shaming people into Christianity. That leads to resentment and bitterness and, unfortunately, in a lot of cases it leads to people walking away from God all together.

God can use doctors, medicine, therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists to help with mental illness. To say that seeking help for mental health is “unbiblical” is dangerous to say and is why so many Christians suffer in silence.

It’s okay to not be okay.

Give yourself permission to lament and space to heal. And when the anxiety returns, as it sometimes will, remember this: your struggles do not make you a lesser Christian.

God’s grace is sufficient for you too.

Get to Know Mel Davis

Mel Davis is a military wife based in Omaha, Nebraska. She writes from a Christian perspective, sharing stories shaped by authenticity, resilience, hope, and a deep rooted faith in God.

When she’s not writing, she’s behind the camera capturing life’s meaningful moments. With a love for nature and a curious spirit, she is always pursuing new adventures and creative endeavors.

***

Let’s chat! What resonated with you most in Mel’s post? When have you experienced something similar, and how did you respond? How have your struggles increased your dependency on Christ? Share in the comments below!

How to Know if Your Difficult Relationship is Toxic – Faith Over Fear

Sometimes relationships remain painfully stuck despite our prayers, countless conversations, forgiveness and every effort to make things better. When someone we love continues in unhealthy patterns, we can find ourselves replaying every interaction, questioning our decisions and wondering if we simply haven't tried or prayed hard enough. Or, we might question our perspective, wondering if we're being overly sensitive and simply need to offer more grace. Yet, we still hurt and our anxiety remains. In this episode, Jennifer Slattery and neuropsychologist Dr. Michelle Bengtson explore how to accept difficult realities without losing hope, recognize unhealthy relational patterns, establish wise boundaries and guard our hearts against bitterness while remaining open to God's work. Together, they discuss the difference between reconciliation and responsibility, why forgiveness frees our own souls and how we can experience lasting peace even when someone we love chooses not to change. Scriptures Discussed Romans 12:18, John 13, Matthew 18:21–22, James 1:5, Matthew 5:44, Ephesians 4:31–32 Dr. Michelle Bengtson book: Sacred Scars: Resting in God's Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted Additional resources mentioned: Dr. Michelle Bengtson's episode on betrayal and rejection: How to Break Free from Shame and Embrace Who God Says You Are How to Overcome Rejection and Abandonment with God's Love Connect with Dr. Michelle Bengtson: On her website On Instagram On Facebook Follow her work on Amazon Find Jennifer Slattery: On her website Instagram Facebook Amazon Subscribe to her free newsletter Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Finding Calm Before Losing Our Cool

by Jennifer Slattery on June 25, 2026June 24, 2026

The moments we regret most often begin long before they become visible.

I learned that lesson years ago in a grocery store parking lot after a long, exhausting day of travel. A misplaced wallet, mounting stress and one sarcastic comment to a stranger led to an encounter I soon wished I could take back.

But what lingered with me afterward wasn’t the argument.

It was the awareness that I’d missed numerous opportunities to regulate myself before my emotions gained momentum. Initially, that insight brought shame because I saw my behavior as evidence of a character flaw rather than indication of skills to develop.

The decade since has changed how I view that afternoon. Through God’s grace, I’ve learned to examine it less as failure and more as an invitation to Spirit-led growth.

My husband and I had just returned from a trip and stopped at a grocery store on our way home. We’d been gone long enough to know our refrigerator was empty, so we planned to grab a few things for dinner before heading home.

The plan seemed simple. He’d pull up near the entrance, I’d run inside, and we’d be on our way.

Except I couldn’t find my wallet.

As I searched through my carry-on bag, my husband urged me to hurry while a vehicle idled behind us. Almost immediately, head stuck out her window, angry words flying, the driver started honking her horn.

At the time, I didn’t recognize how stressed and depleted I already was. Only that I felt pressured, frustrated and flustered.

I darted to the trunk, hoping to find my credit card there. As I glanced over my shoulder at the irritated lady behind us, I responded with a sarcastic comment.

Obviously, that didn’t help.

The woman followed me into, and then around, the store, voicing her anger. By the time we reached the checkout line, a manager had noticed and intervened.

Clearly, not my best moment, especially considering I served in ministry at the time and regularly taught others about Christ’s love and grace.

Later that night, as I mentally reviewed the situation, an uncomfortable question surfaced: What if that person attended my church? What if came to a Bible study I led or an event at which I spoke?

Would my behavior have caused her to dismiss the truths I shared … and claimed to follow?

Would she discount my Savior because I claimed to represent Him but had acted contrary to His heart?

Initially, I focused almost entirely on my failure. But as I brought my regret to the Lord, He helped me recognize something.

The confrontation didn’t started in the parking lot.

I now see that my frustration had been building for hours.

Travel delays, fatigue, hunger and stress had gradually drained my emotional reserves. By the time I arrived at the grocery store, my patience was already low and my irritation high, and my self-regulation attempts, which I knew nothing of at the time, non-existent.

Recognizing that didn’t excuse my behavior, although it did help me gain clarity. Understanding what contributed to my reaction helped me consider how to I wanted to respond differently in the future.

In the years since, I’ve learned (and am learning) to make king David’s prayer mine: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23, NIV)

You see, transformation occurs as we invite Christ to reveal those things within that we’re presently unaware and let Him guide us toward greater wholeness.

Looking back, I can now identify numerous moments when slowing down, noticing my rising stress, and seeking comfort and strength from God might have changed how that afternoon played out. But at the time, I wasn’t skilled at recognizing my internal landscape, nor did I have many tools to respond differently. (This is an area in which I’m still trying to grow.)

Today, if faced with a similar situation, here’s what I hope I’d do differently.

First, I’d pay closer attention to my body’s cues. Tight shoulders, shallow breathing, and irritability often signal inner tension before we’re conscious of our emotions. Such awareness takes practice, especially for those who spent years denying and suppressing how they feel.

Second, I’d respond to those signals sooner. A few deep breaths, a brief walk, a short prayer or a deliberate pause can help calm our nervous system and create space to respond more thoughtfully.

Third, I’d invite Christ into the process early and often. One of my deepest desires is to live increasingly aware of His presence and care. He understands every fear, insecurity and weakness I carry. He offers wisdom when I’m confused, peace when I’m agitated and grace when I fall short.

Finally, if I still failed—and sometimes I do—I would spend less time replaying the moment and more time receiving God’s mercy. Shame rarely produces lasting growth. Grace creates space for honesty, healing and change.

Most of us don’t lose our self-control without warning. Our reactions are often preceded by accumulating stress, fatigue, disappointment, fear or overwhelm. The signs are frequently present long before our emotions spill out in ways we later regret.

The good news is that Christ invites us to bring all those things to Him as they arise. As we grow in awareness, learn healthier responses and increasingly rely on His strength, we’ll often find ourselves responding with greater wisdom, peace and self-control.

Again, this isn’t an area I’ve mastered, which is why I’m so grateful to know, when I don’t handle situations well, His grace remains available then, too.

If this resonates with you, you might also enjoy my cohost’s conversation with Bible teacher Kathy Howard, which addresses this topic from a biblical, discipleship-focused perspective. Listen HERE or wherever you access podcast content.

How to Know if Your Difficult Relationship is Toxic – Faith Over Fear

The Courage to Maintain Boundaries at the Risk of Loss

by Jennifer Slattery on June 19, 2026June 18, 2026

Quote pulled from post on teal blue gradiant background

(Note, this first posted on December 31, 2020.)

Beneath every healthy or dysfunctional relationship, we’ll find boundaries at work. Healthy, God-honoring boundaries lead to increased health; Without them, people begin to hide, trust shatters, emotional intimacy decreases if not dies all together, and isolation grows.

When my daughter was younger, one of her friendships turned unhealthy and caused her considerable and consistent pain. She began justifying the poor behavior, telling herself the behavior didn’t, or perhaps more accurately, shouldn’t hurt and also that the other person couldn’t help it and therefore needed patience and grace. The problem is, apart from truth, grace isn’t grace. It’s enabling. As a result, over time, things became worse—the friend’s behavior, my daughter’s wounds, and the relational dysfunction.

And I struggled to see beyond the problem in that moment to all God was doing and was yet to do. Grieved by my daughter’s pain, I wanted to step in, to meddle, to fix. To control. To grasp and hold tight to things God wanted me to release—because I was afraid.

This is often my greatest challenge when setting boundaries, and honestly, this is a battle I continually fight. Many times, I know the right thing to do, but my heart struggles to comply. I don’t find it all that hard to take and maintain full responsibility for my behavior, emotions, and reactions. When I sleep in and miss a meeting, that’s on me. When I blow a deadline, that’s on me as well. When something angers me and I lose my temper? Me again.

I don’t like staying in my lane, however, when I know there’s a big old cavern up ahead in my loved one’s lane. When that occurs, I want to veer right and force them onto the shoulder or into a ditch, or perhaps rip their keys from their hands.

As ironic as this may sound, the greater my love, the harder boundaries become. The harder it is to not only realize but accept that I am not responsible for anyone else’s behavior, emotions, and reactions—nor should I attempt to make myself so. Living in that truth, however, takes courage, strength, surrender, and significant trust in Christ.

An old pastor from Louisiana used to say, “Don’t try to be the Holy Spirit in anyone’s life.”

So, what if we’re dealing with something more consequential than a hurtful friend? What if our loved one is heading toward serious self-destruction? What if their choices could, and likely will, destroy everything our relationship rests on, and thus, our relationship itself? I’m relatively certain those scenarios make us all a bit weak-kneed, because we know there’s a potential for deep, heart-breaking loss.

The greater the risk, the more challenging it is to set boundaries, which also means, the greater the potential for dysfunction.

I have to remind myself of this. When life becomes challenging, for me and those I love, all I can see are the danger signs directly attached to whatever behavior or choice concerns me. Choices I have zero control over—which may be why I’m so tempted to fight for control. To elevate the weakest, most deceptive, and often, destructive, god of all time—the god of self.

In short, I act as if God has somehow fallen down on the job and needs me to step in and meddle and fix and arrange.

This lies at the root of every choice and action. At each moment, I’m living in surrendered trust and obedience to Christ or I’m trusting in the god of me.

When I reach this place, I need to get honest with myself, with my fears, and with God. Do I really believe everything I claim to be true about God? Do I believe that He’s all-knowing, all-seeing, all-loving, faithful and true? Do I believe that He has the power to change hearts—and that I don’t, no matter how much I argue, nag, pester, or cajole? Do I believe He has the power to bring order to mental chaos, clarity to confusion, and truth to deception—not only in the minds of those I’m worried about but within me as well?

Do I believe God has a plan in the mess, and that He’ll bring good through it? That He longs to use the situation, as painful as it might be, to grow us all and make us more like His Son?

My internal struggle reveals I likely don’t truly, deeply believe those things, therefore the first and greatest work God wants to do is within me. And so, I need to hit pause. I need to quiet myself before Him and ask Him some heart-probing, life-changing questions, like:

What sin are You wanting to purge within me?
What lie or lies are You revealing?
What cracks in my faith do You need to mortar with truth?
And just as importantly, how do You want me to model life, light, health, and faith through this situation?

The next time we land in this place, may God remind us who He is, who we are, and who we are not. What He’s assumed responsibility for, and what He has not conceded to us.

He is the initiator, redeemer, Savior, Counselor, Guide, Teacher, and Father. The One who knows all and sees all and is in all.

Scripture tells us:

God:

Convicts mankind regarding sin. (John 16:8)
Has the power to change hearts. ( 11:19)
Transforms lives. (Philippians 1:6)

Our role is to:

Listen for His guidance.
Speak truth.
Honor God’s principle of sowing and reaping. (This means not attempting to shield others from the consequences for their actions.)
Seek personal growth.

When do you find it most challenging to set and maintain healthy boundaries? Why do you think this might be? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!

If this resonated with you, you might find this week’s Faith Over Fear podcast episode titled Healthy Boundaries for Compassionate People helpful. Listen HERE.

How to Know if Your Difficult Relationship is Toxic – Faith Over Fear

Finding Peace When Your Relationship Doesn’t Change

by Jennifer Slattery on June 12, 2026June 11, 2026

My husband knows the pain of estrangement.

The sting of regret and the anxiety of second-guessing himself and replaying words spoken and conversations held. He’s felt the bittersweet grief left by memories that once brought joy but now come laden with pain. I’ve watched him mourn moments he’ll probably never experience again. He’s grieved the vacations they won’t take and holidays they won’t celebrate together.

Although I suspect the treatment he suffered for years prior stung worse.

He was married prior to meeting me, and before yielding his life to Christ. While that relationship began pleasantly enough, it soon devolved in yelling, fighting, name-calling and what I’d term verbal and emotional abuse. After fifteen years of feeling constantly under attack, he left. He’s certain things between him and his ex would’ve played out differently, had he been following Christ. But sadly, he wasn’t, and they didn’t.

In the years that followed, he worked hard to remain engaged in his children’s lives, a goal challenged by geographical distance and a severe case of parental alienation. This, coupled with the guilt he felt from leaving his children, caused him to over-function and appease his kids. Although his intentions were good, the results weren’t. Afraid of losing the relationships he fought so hard to maintain, he allowed one child in particular to treat him in much the same way as his ex had. We both assumed tempers would calm with time, love and consistency.

Unfortunately, that’s not what happened. Instead, the hostility and behavior escalated until this particular relationship fractured completely. While God can bring reconciliation from seemingly hopeless situations, that typically requires both parties to invest in the repair. That’s a difficult reality to accept. But it also carries the potential for freedom and personal healing, because it helps us release what isn’t ours to carry.

Our journey showed us that reconciliation requires more than one willing heart. Each person must be willing to acknowledge the wounds they suffered and inflicted. Both must willingly pursue healing, growth, and honest conversation. When that happens, even deeply fractured relationships can begin to mend. When it doesn’t, one person’s effort can carry a relationship only so far.

You might know this from experience.

Perhaps you presently find yourself where my husband stood, early in his relational storm—thinking if only you tried harder, loved more and responded to hostility with grace, you’ll eventually win the other person over. Or, maybe after decades of attempts you recognize it’s time to walk away—at least, until your friend, loved one or spouse shows they’re willing and able to change. Or maybe you sense God re-igniting the hope that a barrage of arguments and mistreatment tried to kill. Only, you’re not sure you have the courage to try again, because hope, once dashed, can feel risky.

What if you get hurt yet again?

I don’t have any brilliant answers, except this: Jesus knows the best response. The healthiest response. Scripture phrases it this way: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18, NIV).

If it’s possible.

As far as it depends on us.

This reminds us that we’re responsible for our actions and reactions, but we have no control over someone else’s choices or maturity. Because here’s something I’m learning, as I navigate some of my challenging relationships: We can’t control how anyone else behaves. We can’t remove someone else’s bitterness, expand their perspective, open their ears to productive conversation or soften a hardened heart.

But we can become the best version of ourselves possible.

We can view every interaction as a learning opportunity that leads to greater self-awareness of our wounding and the lies attached to them. To increased spiritual maturity that stems from deeper dependence on Christ. And the priceless gift of enhanced intimacy with the Lord.

God can bring such beauty to us, our lives and our future relationships when we choose to grow through the pain, refusing to get stuck in the mess or our “offense”. Christ promised to bring good from our pain. But that usually requires effort on our part—not to fix the situation, but instead, to fix our gaze—on Jesus, keep our ears tuned to the Holy Spirit, and our feet ready to follow however He leads.*

If this is something you’re navigating now, I encourage you to catch Carol and my series on the Faith Over Fear podcast on relational peace and how to love others well without losing ourselves. This past Tuesday, we launched with one of our favorite guests, Becky Harling, who discussed with Carol how fear leads to over-functioning in our relationships and how over-functioning leads to burnout and resentment. Next week, I’m talking with a trauma-informed biblical counselor regarding what Scripture actually teaches regarding healthy boundaries. The following Tuesday, Carol and Bible teacher Kathy Howard will discuss how to respond rather than react in difficult relationships, followed by a discussion with neuropsychologist Dr. Michelle Bengston on how to handle those relationships that don’t change, typically because the other person refuses to do so. And finally, we’ll close our series discussing what to do with the unpleasant emotions that often come when we others choose to remain in harmful behaviors and patterns.

Before you go, what most encouraged or frustrated you in today’s post?

Share in the comments below. Let me know how I can pray for you as well. And wherever you’re at relationally, know this: God sees you. He loves you, remains with you and will bring beauty from your pain. That I can promise you, because He promised it first (Rom. 8:28).

*If this feels hard and confusing, can I gently encourage you to not give up? Learning to recognize God’s voice and sense His leading takes time and practice, and often, prayer asking for His help. Thankfully, this is a request He loves to answer! Feel free to reach out to me through my contact page if you’d like to know about the resources I’ve found helpful in my journey toward increased spiritual sensitivity.

How to Know if Your Difficult Relationship is Toxic – Faith Over Fear

Praying With the Confidence of a Child of God

by Jennifer Slattery on June 4, 2026June 3, 2026

(Note: This first published on April 22, 2021.)

We pray differently when we recognize God as our Father. Not in a figurative, authority figure sense or as a harsh rule enforcer, but as the benevolent, attentive, dare I even say doting all-powerful Dad that He is. When we don’t understand or fully embrace those truths, we tend to approach God hesitantly. Maybe even apologetically. We say things like, “I know others are dealing with so much worse, but could You please …” Or, “I hate to bother You with this, Lord …”

I don’t think my daughter has ever approached a conversation with me or my husband with such disclaimers. I have, however, witnessed this hesitation in youth our family has taken in over the years. Kids who come from rough places and who’ve developed a distorted view of the parent-child relationship, and ultimately, a skewed understanding of love. Of themselves as well.

Past hurts and abandonments, often by the very people who were supposed to keep them safe, tainted their perspectives. They struggled to recognize, understand, and fully accept their worth. As a result, if they sought my help, or my ear, at all, they did so timidly, entering my room or office with eyes downcast, as if their very presence irritated me.

The opposite is true. When they approached me with confidence, with honest and unfiltered requests, I didn’t find them rude or bothersome. I was filled with joy because their actions revealed trust—of me and my love. I knew they’d begun to see themselves less as a tenant or guest and more like a beloved child. That’s when the depth of relationship my heart desired was both built and revealed.

If you’re a parent, you can probably understand what I mean. Maybe you’re smiling at a memory of your son or daughter running into your bedroom, begging for a pony or something else you had no intention of granting. Or asking for protection from monsters you knew don’t exist. I doubt their pleas irritated you. In fact, you probably came to expect this. You expected them to ask for the big things and the small, the things you loved to grant and those you lovingly withheld. That was your role—to decide what requests to fulfill or deny, just as it was their proper place to ask.

Jesus offered us, His beloved, this same invitation when He said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7, NIV). He then shared an analogy intended to deepen our understanding of our Heavenly Father at His core and who we are to Him.

Matthew 7:7 on blue background with floral accents

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?” Jesus said. “Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:9-10, NIV).

If we interpret Christ’s words as a promise to grant all of our desires, we’ll become disappointed and disillusioned. If we receive His words as the caring invitation they are, however, our confidence in Him and His heart for us grows—regardless of His response.

He truly is a good, loving, faithful, and attentive Father always focused on our best. His heart is for us always, and He longs to grant us not just good things, as Jesus so clearly proclaimed, but full access to Himself as our Savior, our Creator, and as our Dad. That doesn’t mean He wants us to embrace a flippant and entitled attitude. That’s not relationship; that’s not love. But He does want us to come. To come often, to come easily, and to come with the boldness of someone who knows they are indeed wholly, eternally, and oh, so deeply loved.

Pause to consider your common approach to prayer. Do you proceed to God’s throne with the confidence of a child of God and heir of grace (Hebrews 4:16) or with the timidity of a tenant?

What might God need to do within your heart to help you more readily and authentically draw closer to Him?

How to Know if Your Difficult Relationship is Toxic – Faith Over Fear

And make sure to connect with me on Facebook and Instagram.

Yielding to God’s direction – Guest Post by Chris Corradino

by Jennifer Slattery on May 28, 2026May 27, 2026

(Note: This first published on February 2, 2023)

If you squirm with anxiety while someone other than yourself is driving, you may be challenged by letting go of control. It’s a common issue that typically manifests in all aspects of your life, not just the car. That had certainly been the case for me, but God in His infinite wisdom had other plans. And while He got my attention in dramatic fashion, sometimes we need to be shaken to regain our focus. Thanks to His mercy, I’m able to share the lesson He imparted.

As a former New Yorker, I’ve grown accustomed to many of New Zealand’s unique traffic patterns. Roundabouts, river fords, and giving way to vehicles on the right are just a few. Yet, while touring the back country roads of the South Island, I learned about a different situation that can catch a newcomer off guard. It’s called a “One Lane Bridge”.

This was unceremoniously revealed to me with the whole family in the car. Traffic was moving well in both directions, but seemed to merge into a narrow gravel path rather abruptly. In full disclosure, this transition was preceded by a small sign. Only, in my inexperience, I passed by too quickly to read it. This was not ideal, as it would have alerted me of the impending danger. Two arrows pointed toward each other to signify the potential for oncoming vehicles. I was supposed to slow down, look for approaching cars, and yield to give way to them.

Instead, I just came barreling down the road with a haphazard dust cloud following behind. My wife and Kiwi co-passenger recognized the imminent doom and shouted to stop me just in time. As I sat there in embarrassment, drivers with the right of way passed by and flashed a quick wave. My hands were still gripping the wheel too tightly to respond. They didn’t realize how different things could have been If I was driving alone that day. This incident of course begged the question; how many other critical signs have I missed? Not just on the road, but on my walk with God. Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar in your journey.

God has already provided the ultimate map to salvation, and His name is Jesus. While we were making all those wrong turns, He was right there with us. Some of the roads we traveled may have even led to dark and painful places. In looking at His promises in the Bible though, you can see the trail of once-overlooked signs. We all veer off course on occasion, but Scripture provides guardrails for those willing to obey. The route was carefully designed to lead us back to Him. It’s now time to let Jesus take control of the wheel. The destination is eternal life, and He is the only way to get there.

Key Thought: The road that leads to Jesus will be bumpy, and even uncomfortable at times. There may be moments when you want to turn back and find your own way. Yet, as the shepherd of our hearts, Jesus will stop at nothing to build a relationship with you. Opening the door to let Him in is a good first step. Yet, if you’re searching for lasting peace, you’ll need to move over and let Jesus drive.

Get to Know Chris Corradino

In studying God’s Word, Chris learns more about himself and the world around him. From the profound love of Jesus to the redemptive power of His mercy and grace, Chris writes to express the vast beauty of God’s kingdom. Though his journey began as a personal one, Chris is honored to share his work with a worldwide audience. His new book Finding Joy in Every Season: 60 Men’s Devotionals for Winning with Jesus is set to be published with Ambassador International.

While genuinely pleased by these accomplishments, perhaps Chris’ greatest joy comes from encouraging others to deepen their relationship with Jesus. Whether in a sermon, or written text, Chris’ words are a testimony to what God has done in his life, and what He can do for others as well.

About the Book:

Christian men want to lead their families, build careers, get involved in their children’s lives, be loving husbands, and also grow their relationship with Jesus.

Despite these good intentions, statistics show the reality of what’s actually happening. Men are ending their own lives with staggering frequency. This trend is not unique to the United States as it’s unfortunately grown into a global epidemic.

Put simply, men are desperate for help and the tired advice to “man up” is proving deadly.

Finding Joy In Every Season: 60 Men’s Devotionals for Winning with Jesus challenges us to lay our weapons down as Jesus has already claimed victory. All the muscles in the world can’t soothe the hurt we carry inside. While it sounds counterintuitive, true strength starts with embracing our weaknesses.

With fresh biblical insight presented in a conversational style, readers will find new ways to apply God’s word to their own lives.

How to Know if Your Difficult Relationship is Toxic – Faith Over Fear

Finding Your Anchor When Anxiety Spirals Guest Post by Mel Davis

by Jennifer Slattery on May 21, 2026June 23, 2026

Have you ever found yourself in a spiral of anxiety?

When your mind starts to unravel with overwhelming, consuming thoughts, it can feel like things are bleak. But God always meets us where we are.

Earlier this year, my husband got deployed sooner than we anticipated. With a quick ship out date, there was really no time to process it all. Over the years of being a military wife, you learn to be resilient and adapt quickly. When he left, it was just me and all the anxious thoughts that I had suppressed. I knew not to constantly refresh the news, but it felt like a moth to a flame.

When you’re drifting into a black hole of anxiety, it’s easy to just let yourself drift further. But we must also be careful of not letting it drift you away from God, but turning to Him.

When life is all sunshine and rainbows, it’s easy to shout “hallelujah” and rejoice. But when you’re in the messy middle, that’s where you truly get to know Him, and depend on Jesus in a way we never would otherwise.

A great passage to turn to is Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (ESV).

What does Scripture tell us? To praise Him and rejoice in Him, offer Him our thanksgiving even when life feels messy. God is not looking for pretty prayers tied up neatly with a bow, but desires true, honest prayers.

When we choose to actively turn to Him, lay everything in His hands, and praise Him despite our circumstances, a shift begins to happen. Things might not be fixed immediately, but all the noise in your mind starts to quiet and the anxiety loses its power.

I have had some hard days and frustrating moments. Figuring out things in the house I never handled before, managing paying the bills, and keeping up with the car maintenance.

But there have also been small, meaningful joys tucked into those hard days. Laughter after tears, and courage in doing scary things.

A few days after my husband got deployed, I thought to “treat myself” as they say, to some ice cream I had bought that was waiting for me in the freezer. Unfortunately, the way this specific brand of ice cream is made, you either need a strong man to open it or a chain saw. I had neither at that moment. I’m having my own war in my kitchen for at least 15 minutes trying to open this jar of ice cream.

At this point, the ice cream is starting to melt and the top of the jar looks like a lion mauled it. As silly as this sounds, I decided to just sit on my kitchen floor and pray to God. I know that He listens to our every prayer, and I also know that He cares, even if it seems silly to us.

“Father, I know this is so silly, but I really need this ice cream jar opened. I had a very rough week, and I just wanted this boost of joy tonight even if it’s just ice cream. Please, open this jar of ice cream.”

I gave this ice cream one more chance before I tossed it in the trash. Want to know what happened next? The jar of ice cream opened.

I know God is near and that He hears me. It may not be audible, but He’s found everywhere. In the sun shining down on my face, the breeze through my hair, the birds outside my window, people rallying behind me, a kind cashier at the store, and even in the late night ice cream talks to Him.

There’s peace in knowing that even when everything feels out of control, He is still in control.

And that kind of peace that protects both your heart and your mind, is found only in Him.

Come to the Father with all of your questions, doubts, sins, and brokenness. The Lord is a sovereign God who is not intimidated by any of it; He delights in you simply taking the first step toward Him. We’re prone to wander, but He will always rejoice when we return home to Him.

Get to Know Mel Davis

Mel Davis is a military wife based in Omaha, Nebraska. She writes from a Christian perspective, sharing stories shaped by authenticity, resilience, hope, and a deep rooted faith in God.

When she’s not writing, she’s behind the camera capturing life’s meaningful moments. With a love for nature and a curious spirit, she is always pursuing new adventures and creative endeavors.

If this resonated with you, make sure to check out my conversation with Jaime Hampton from the Praying Christian Woman podcast during which we take a deep dive into Philippians 4 and how prayer can help calm our minds and hearts when anxiety hits. Find it HERE.

How to Know if Your Difficult Relationship is Toxic – Faith Over Fear

Why Shame Keeps You Stuck—and Grace Sets You Free

by Jennifer Slattery on May 14, 2026May 14, 2026

(Note: This content first appeared on the Crosswalk Devotional podcast. Used by permission.)

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Do you ever replay your worst moments at night—every harsh word, angry reactions, or the damage your fears and insecurities caused? Maybe you see yourself repeating the same unhealthy patterns repeating and wonder if you’ll ever truly change.

If so, you’re not alone.

Recently, I sat with a woman devastated by a relational conflict. With tears in her eyes, she admitted how quickly fear and insecurity can distort her thinking. In the moment, she assumes the worst about people’s motives. This causes her to withdraw emotionally, question their care for her, and respond to others with in defensive ways. Later, shame takes hold when she sees the damage her behavior created.

“I recognize my dysfunction. I just don’t know how to break it.”

Maybe you’ve felt that way too.

Growth and healing rarely happen overnight. Although God can transform us instantly, He often works gradually. He reveals wounds long buried and unhelpful coping strategies, while teaching us how to rely more fully on Him. That self-awareness can elicit profound grief as we begin to see the impact of our actions more clearly.

But God doesn’t shine His light into our souls to trap us in shame. Instead, His intent is always to lead us into deeper grace.

My favorite example of this comes from the book of Nehemiah. After seventy years in exile caused by Israel’s rebellion against God, the people returned to Jerusalem to rebuild what their enemies had previously destroyed–largely because of ancient Israel’s persistent rebellion against God. When Ezra, an Old Testament priest, read the Jewish Scriptures aloud, the people wept. Although they probably recognized the sacred beauty of this moment, they also recognized the depth of their sin and all it had cost them and their loved ones.

Yet, notice how their leaders responded:

“Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Neh. 8:10, NIV).

The people had already suffered the consequences for their actions. Now, it was time for them to begin again. To shuck of their shame and allow the Lord to strengthen them by His grace.

Christ says the same to us. He paid for each one of our sins, past, present and future. He bore the consequences and now invites us to live in the joy of His grace.

Biblical joy runs much deeper than circumstantial happiness.

It’s the deep and enduring confidence that God remains present, merciful, and faithful in all situations, our most regrettable included.

It’s trusting that He won’t withdraw His love or abandon us in our failures or withdraw His love in frustration.

Instead, He meets us in them and gives us the power to rise again.

The Israelites still needed to clear away the rubble rebuild Jerusalem’s walls. Grace didn’t bring about instant restoration. But God wanted them to live as His forgiven, beloved children.

This is true for us as well, because as Romans 8:1 states, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (NIV).

As I shared this biblical account with my friend, and listened to her concerns, I sensed a deeper issue at play. She’d come to see her inner critic, her “shame-driver” as helpful, believing it kept her accountable.

She assumed self-condemnation protected her from repeating her mistakes. In reality, shame leaves us exhausted, defeated, and stuck.

God’s grace, however, gives us courage to face our broken places honestly, trusting Christ’s love to bring about lasting transformation and increased intimacy with Him.

Through Jesus, we never have to hide from God. Our sin doesn’t repel Him. He draws near with mercy, healing, and truth. The cross proves this.

As we continue bringing our struggles into His presence, receiving His forgiveness, and renewing our minds with His truth, self-loathing begins losing its grip.

Joy grows stronger, as do we.

If shame is holding you captive, bring it to Christ in prayer. Ask Him to help you receive the forgiveness He’s already provided through Christ. And perhaps, repeat this each time self-condemnation invades your soul.

If this post resonated with you, make sure to catch the Faith Over Fear podcast episode titled, “Break Free from Shame: Carol McCracken’s Story of Freedom and Restoration” to hear my cohost’s painful-to-beautiful testimony.

How to Know if Your Difficult Relationship is Toxic – Faith Over Fear

When Praise Controls You and Criticism Crushes You

by Jennifer Slattery on May 7, 2026May 7, 2026

(This is taken an adapted from a piece I wrote for the Crosswalk Devotional podcast, which published on April 23, 2025. Find the full, audio version HERE.)

When someone’s approval feels life-giving, their rejection can feel soul-crushing.

Years ago, I met a woman who seemed highly enamored of almost everything I did. She loved my novels, wanted to serve with me in ministry, and appeared supportive of my calling. Soon, we developed a friendship that quickly turned toxic.

When I made leadership decisions she disagreed with, she tried pulling others onto her side through triangulation. When that didn’t work, she turned to slander and gossip. Initially, this confused me. How could someone go from a self-proclaimed fan and supporter to so hurtful so quickly?

As I prayerfully processed through the situation, I began to see things more clearly. She never truly valued me. Rather, she loved the version of me she’d created in her mind. When I failed to live up to the person and friend she imagined, her admiration quickly turned ugly.

Unfortunately, experiences like this aren’t uncommon. Human praise often proves unstable. The same person who applauds us one moment may criticize or reject us the next. And when we base our worth on other people’s approval, their shifting opinions can create confusing wounds.

When I land in that place, I gain comfort from knowing that Jesus understands, because He experienced it. One of the most thought-provoking examples comes from John 2.

This scene occurred near the beginning of Jesus’ earthly ministry. After clearing the Temple courts of merchants and money changers, He immediately faced opposition from religious leaders questioning His authority. Yet at the same time, crowds gathered around Him, amazed by the miracles He performed. Some admired Him while others challenged Him. Some believed Him while others rejected Him.

Regarding this, Scripture provides this insight: “But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people” (John 2:24, NIV).

Notice what this verse doesn’t say. Jesus didn’t withhold love or avoid relationship. In fact, He formed deep bonds with the disciples despite knowing they would abandon Him in His darkest hour. Christ loved people deeply and compassionately, without basing His identity or worth on their ever-changing opinions.

Instead, He entrusted Himself fully to the Father, the One who knew Him fully and loved Him completely.

Because human praise is fickle. The crowds shouting “Hosanna!” would soon cry, “Crucify Him!” The disciples who promised unwavering loyalty would scatter in fear. Yet Jesus remained grounded in who He was and what He came to do, because His identity rested securely in the Father’s unchanging love.

This allowed Him to love others with radical grace and compassion.

Jesus saw human weakness clearly. He understood pride, fear, self-protection and brokenness better than we ever will. Yet His knowledge of humanity didn’t harden Him or cause Him to withdraw emotionally. Instead, it moved Him to mercy.

While hanging on the cross, rejected and mocked, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NIV).

Christ longs for us to experience that same freedom. He invites us to become so rooted in His love and secure in our identity as His beloved children that we stop allowing others to define our worth.

For many of us, that healing develops slowly, especially when rejection wounds run deep. But as we walk with Christ day by day, hurt by hurt, He heals those fragile places within us. He teaches us how to love others deeply without entrusting our souls to their approval.

Most importantly, in Him, we find the acceptance our hearts most need.

If this post resonated with you, I encourage you to listen to the Faith Over Fear podcast episode titled “Feeling Left Out? Christ Seats You at the Table of Honor.“

I also invite you to read through my Bible reading plan titled “Embracing Your True Self: Living in Your Christ-Centered Identity” found on the YouVersion Bible reading app.