“Na-na-na-na boo-hoo. I’ll be with Jesus before you.”
My mother-in-law sang that little ditty to me in our final phone conversation. She had just accepted hospice care and, knowing I was crying, she tried to make me laugh.
Marion, who I always called Mom, kept me laughing for most of the 45-plus years I knew her. But our relationship didn’t begin so promisingly; she wasn’t sure that I was the right one for her firstborn son to marry.
Jim and I had been close friends at college for two years before we suddenly announced our engagement—with a wedding day planned for six weeks later! This caught his mother off guard since she and I barely knew each other. Further, Marion’s five other children included a three-year-old, so she had the challenging circumstance of “losing” her oldest while still raising her family.
I understood some of those concerns, but I also felt Marion’s disapproval. She had grown up in Chicago in the 1930s and 40s; she loved fashion and all things fine. She attended St. Mary’s College, across the street from Notre Dame, where she met Jim’s father. In contrast, I was from Arkansas, raised by less sophisticated parents who considered Little Rock a big city. Fashion was not my priority and I had little experience with the finer things in life.
Romans 12:10 became a lifestyle, as Marion and I both grew in our knowledge of God and His ways, and we learned to honor the other above self. This verse emphasizes the need to prioritize the needs and desires of others over your own, even when it’s difficult or requires sacrifice. My relationship with my mother-in-law was strengthened during the times she came to help out after our three children arrived, and later, just to spend time with our family. Marion loved cooking healthy meals, and I enjoyed letting her take over in the kitchen. And, as I said, she made me laugh.
Having been raised by immigrant parents, Marion had stories to tell, along with all the right accents, expressions, and mannerisms. Further, there were some English words she could never quite pronounce correctly. With the emotional wound of rejection in childhood, her humorous antics might have been a lifelong coping mechanism.
At age 50, Marion was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Her doctor removed a massive tumor, ordered chemotherapy, and gave her six months to live. She endured treatments but also asked the elders at church to pray for her healing, according to James 5:14. She then proceeded to live for another 40 years.
Marion gradually became more of a mentor to me than a mother-in-law. She encouraged me to seek God daily through Bible study and prayer—without forgetting to wait and listen for His guidance.
Mom wanted to be remembered for more than her fun and laughter. She hoped to be remembered as one who was led by the Lord. And I hope to carry on this legacy she left behind for me and so many others. I honored her while she was living and honor her now.
When God puts someone in our life that we do not immediately connect to and love, it is important for us to pray and ask God to show us how to honor the person and sacrificially love them. The transformation happens when we no longer need to make an effort, but develop a genuine affection for the person.
Prayer: God, I ask you to help me love those around me, and to honor them above myself.
About the author: Patti Richter lives in north Georgia with her husband, Jim. She is a freelance journalist and long-time faith columnist at BlueRibbonNews.com with more than four hundred published articles. Patti is the co-author of the award-winning Signs of His Presence—Experiencing God’s Comfort in Times of Suffering. It is the story of Luann Mire, whose godly husband was blindsided by an indictment due to a former employer’s tax fraud. The resulting prison sentence and restitution took the once joyful couple into a long season of suffering as they fought judicial tyranny. Helpless to change her situation, Luann endured a painful examination of her life and found God faithful to His promises.
Voted 2020 Best Memoir by the Advanced Writers and Speakers AssociationLuann Mire faced overwhelming circumstances when her godly husband was blindsided by an indictment due to a former employer’s tax fraud. The resulting prison sentence and restitution took the once joyful couple into a long season of suffering as they fought judicial tyranny.
Helpless to change her situation, Luann endured a painful examination of her life-long faith as she faced evil and distress. Fear, anxiety, and depression worked against her ability to trust in God’s goodness. Meanwhile, she wrestled with powers of darkness she had never before encountered. Luann’s desperate desire for a restored family life kept her looking to God through prayer, Scripture, and every trustworthy scrap of divine encouragement she could find. Yet doubts plagued her as months turned into years, and hope for justice was continually deferred by an ironclad court system. Though trapped in severe circumstances, Luann found God faithful to His promises, especially Psalm 34:18, which says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (NIV). Signs of God’s presence came at timely moments of need―often in astonishing ways.
