Before stepping up to preach one Sunday morning, Pastor Jim Kinder pulled a friend aside with a raw and painful request. “Tell me it’s true. Tell me what I’m about to preach is true,” he said. “Because I just don’t know anymore.”
Months earlier, Jim’s life unraveled when his wife unexpectedly told him she wanted a divorce. The betrayal shook far more than his marriage; it stripped away his sense of identity. The man who counseled others through life’s hardships and taught his church members how to build healthy relationships suddenly questioned everything he believed about himself. Was he worthless? Had he failed? Why would anyone listen to him? He didn’t even want to listen to himself.
Yet, the Lord didn’t leave him alone in His pain. One of the greatest gifts God gave him during that season was a community of trusted friends who let him vent, rage, and wrestle with hard truths. Brothers in Christ who refused to let Jim’s pain define reality or his identity. Again and again, they asked an important yet simple question:
“What is true?”
One day, overwhelmed by accusations his former wife had made, Jim called a close friend and repeated them through tears. “She said I was a horrible dad.”
“Jim, is that true?”
“No,” Jim answered. “I’m the best dad in the world.”
His friend paused. “Now, Jim… is that true?”
In that moment, Jim realized he’d swung from one distortion to another. Pain had pushed him toward extremes. To heal, he needed to return to what was true. Not what he wanted to believe was true, the devil tried to tell him was true, or whatever lies his fear, shame, or self-protection tempted him to believe.
As I listened to him tell that story while editing this week’s Faith Over Fear podcast, I reflected on how often pain tries to reinterpret our reality.
Pain, when endured alone without the presence and grace of our Father, tends to distort our perception—of ourselves, our future, and our God. When we turn to Him, and cling to Him, in our anxiety and grief, He speaks love into our souls.
He reminds us that, no matter what we’ve done or endured, we are His. That is who we are. That is our unchanging identity.
You, my friend, are a beloved, chosen, empowered, and held child of Almighty God.
Hold tight to that.
Hold tight to Him, knowing that He is, at this moment, holding tightly to you.
Proverbs 4:23 tells us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” We often read that verse as a warning against unhealthy influences or temptation, and it certainly includes those. But it also speaks to the voices we allow to interpret our pain, encouraging us to intentionally amplify God’s voice above all the noise bombarding us each day.
If this post encouraged you, or evoked curiosity, you’ll enjoy this week’s podcast episode titled, “How to Heal When Emotional Pain Won’t Go Away“.
Let’s talk! What lies do you wrestling with most when life feels hard or uncertain? What is one truth regarding who you are in Christ or His heart for you that you can cling to during painful seasons? What helps you hold tight to truth when circumstances wreak havoc with your perspective? Share in the comments, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!
