tear down

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The other day I stumbled upon Preslaysa Williams blog–a refreshing, encouraging site for mom’s. Reading the following devotional, I loved her reminder to build–to encourage, strengthen, pour into–her marriage, so I asked her if I could repost it. Proverbs often provides opposites–don’t do this, instead… In Proverbs 14:1, God contrasts wise and foolish living, leaving the choice to us. Each day, we have an opportunity to invest in the relationships around us. The choice is ours, we can either build up or tear down. It’s much easier to build than it is to repair something lying in shambles.

The Wise Woman by Preslaysa Williams

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands” (Proverbs 14:1)

Last week while perusing the pages of the Bible, this verse leapt out at me. Has that ever happened to you? At this point in my journey, it’s a morsel of sound wisdom. As a woman in my home, I have the ability to build it up or tear it down…with my own hands. The actions I take, the words I speak and the tone that I set in my home shape the course of the lives that live within its walls. Those lives can be  built up (or torn down). God has given women a powerful ability to influence their family for eternity.

When I think of my mishaps in this area, the impatience, the frazzledness and all the other daily struggles of home life, I can easily allow the enemy to pull me down into guilt and condemnation. But by leaning on Him, each day to pursue the ginormous tasks He’s given me: to help my spouse become God’s man, to teach our children the fear of the Lord and to string together words that point to God’s grace, I can flourish.

You can too! It’s not in our own strength but in His.

So, I’m keeping this verse at the forefront of my mind. I’m continually evaluating how I interact with those closest to me and I’m asking God for guidance to help me build up my home and the hearts that dwell there. Some ways that He’s shown me include:

*Spending time alone with Him daily before I go about my daily tasks

*Whittling down my activities to align with my four most important roles in life (at this season): child of God, wife, mother and writer

*Making lunches and dinners (leads to eating out less often!!)

*Listening to my spouse and building him up with words of encouragement

Question for you: How are you building up your home? Are there any areas which you’d like God to help you build your home? 

Preslaysa Williams is a wife, mom, freelance writer, domestic engineer and professional juggler (or at least feels like one!) When she’s not rebooting a load of laundry or chasing her toddler, you can find her typing away. Her articles have been published in online and print magazines like Devozine, CBN.COM, The Lookout and Clear Direction. Visit her online at www.preslaysa.com where she blogs about the Jesus life, family and all things literary.

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Last week our house felt like a sauna. No, maybe sauna is too mild of a term. I think it’d be more accurate to liken it  to a lava bath on Venus. After two weeks of no air conditioning, (luckily we were on vacation for one of those), our home had gone from mildly uncomfortable to nauseatingly unbearable. Seriously. By Friday afternoon, with our thermostat reading ninety-three and climbing, our bodies began to revolt.

It’d been a rough week for all of us. The evenings were the worst. At bedtime, with the outside temperature barely dipping below ninety, there was no way to cool our house no matter how many fans you got going or windows you opened. Needless to say, the Slattery household was anything but cheery come Friday morning. Although we did have one thing going for us…the air conditioning guys were installing our new unit that day. Woo-hoo! Unfortunately, that meant Ashley and I had to stick around, in a hot, sticky house while they did it. And after a week’s worth of sweaty, itchy, crabby, sleepless nights, I was expecting fireworks. Or at least a few angry tears.

I was not anticipating any “precious-memory making moments” that day. In fact, I think I would have been happy just to get through the day without either one of us losing it entirely. And yet, despite the heat (or perhaps because of it) and lack of sleep, my daughter and I had the silliest, giggliest day we’ve had in quite a long time.

It started with time.

Despite a 92,000 word document desperately needing to be edited and numerous impeding deadlines, I shut my computer down and put it aside, along with anything else that required movement. (minus the occasional fb pop-in) And my daughter, too tired and hot to play outside or hide out in her room, hung out with me.

The giggles were initiated by dog-vomit

So here we were, dying, wishing we could head to Sonic for an ice-cold Cherry Limeaid when our mop-top started spewing nasty green stuff out of her mouth. So I picked her up and ran to the door, sending globs of bile shooting across the sofa, onto my daughter and leaving a trail from the den to the back yard. This quickly sent both of us into a fit of giggles and an afternoon of silliness–chasing dogs down with ice-cubes, Ashley sprawled across the wood floor in an effort to stay cool, us making goofy faces at each other. At the end of the day, a moment of discomfort led to some very special times between me and my baby-girl. And as I think back over our time, I can’t help but wonder how things might have been if one of us, just one of us, had reacted differently. What if I had thrown a fit when our dog started spraying our furniture with vomit? What if my daughter had lashed out when the vomit smacked her in the face? What if, after a day of roasting,  her giggles had become “annoying” or my jokes “lame”?

An entire day worth of special, long-to be treasured moments would have been lost.

It makes me wonder how many other moments I’ve missed. On those days when I’ve allowed circumstances to control me instead of looking for the silly, ironic or down-right absurd. I think God has many blessings hidden among our day, if we’d but look past ourselves and our momentary circumstances. In fact, I wonder if even those seemingly terrible situations can be turned into our greatest sources of joy.

One of my favorite verses says: “Every wise woman builds her house but the foolish one tears it down.” (Proverbs 14:1)

Unfortunately, I spend way too much time tearing down. Getting frustrated, distracted, upset, whatever. And yet, it is just as easy to build up, with joy, giggles, words of encouragement and focused time. Air conditioning or not.