The Debilitating Fear of Failure

Fearful woman looking upFear of failure can paralyze the most gifted writers, singers, artists … (insert any other field) perhaps more than anything else. Here’s the ironic part–it is this fear, not any failure we may experience, more than anything else that gets in our way. One of these days, I really want to unpack this common and insidious fear, because I’m 99.9995% certain, when it rises up, it’s being fueled by something else, namely, a false sense of identity.

In our Wholly Loved conferences, we talk a lot about fear and moving past it through faith. Each conference, see women taking steps toward that, and it’s inspiring and amazing and incredibly awesome. Can you imagine the impact we’d have if we consistently focused not on our gifts or our plans or even our insufficiencies and instead centered our vision and thoughts on Jesus and learned to lean hard on Him?

My guest today, a sweet friend and Wholly Loved ministry partner, shares how God helped her do just that.

The Debilitating Fear of Failure

By Kristen Terrette

My fear of failing has paralyzed me.

I was keenly aware, through much prayer, that God wanted me to take a step in faith and venture into writing, but my fear of failure stalled and suffocated. The risks were too high. I was afraid.

I didn’t know how to write a novel! And as a children’s ministry director, I enjoyed a flexible job which provided my family a second income and health insurance. I worked with my spiritual mentors, one of whom was my lead pastor and one of the greatest men I’ve ever known. He took a chance on me and gave me my first staff position in ministry. He helped me become a leader in our church.

Could I give all that up? What if I did and failed?

But still, my desire to write grew stronger each day that I fought it. I smothered myself with excuses. I asked, how could God be telling me to quit a job I love? How can I abandon the kids in the ministry or my pastor and staff? How could I give up my income and insurance? How could I become a writer with no formal training?

And as the months went by, I became bitter and anxious. My love for teaching on Sundays lessened. My husband’s growing resentment toward our church and all the duties I had on the weekends soured our marriage. Even my kids began to dislike attending services.

After a while, my husband and I finally had a serious discussion. We laid it all out—our fears, anger, loneliness, and decided it was time for me to be home and present for my family. We felt God was calling me into new ministry—to my husband and my kids.

In Mark 5:36, Jesus spoke to a synagogue leader whose daughter had just died. “Don’t be afraid; just believe,” Jesus said, then Woman jumping with sun behind her and text for Mark 8:36He raised the dead child to life.

God says the same to us every day, in every situation.

To believe. And take that next step toward whatever He’s calling us to do.

I did. And guess what? When I told my pastor, he celebrated with me and helped me prepare to leave my position. Years later, he’s one of my biggest supporters. I resigned gracefully and was able to devote time to writing while our kids were at school and pre-school.

What’s more is that God protected us financially. We cut a few expenses, sure, but it’s miraculous how we didn’t “miss” my income. Bills were paid on time with money left over. I look back and think how in the world it was even possible, and the only answer is that it was supernatural.

God did it.

I’d like to pretend that four years later I have a thriving writing career and tons of book sales. That’s not the case, but I’m obedient … and I’m joyful, which I know comes from being in God’s will. But best of all my husband and kids are happy too. They love Sundays again.

Let’s talk about this! What is God asking of you? Have you allowed fear to hold you back? Has God given you an instruction and you’re being disobedient to His call? I pray you’ll remember Jesus’ words to the synagogue leader, “Don’t be afraid. Just believe.”

Get to Know Kristen!

Kristen Terrette's author photoKristen holds a Master’s degree in Theological Studies and served as a Children’s Ministry Director for five years. She cherishes her Southern roots and currently lives forty-five minutes outside of Atlanta, GA. With the support of her husband and two children, she stays at home writing Christian fiction, allowing God to take the story where He needs it to go. She’s also serves on the women’s leadership and teaching team at her church and writes for Wholly Loved ministries at WhollyLoved.com and Crosswalk.com. You can read her personal blog and check out her current novels at www.kristenterrette.com.

Check out her upcoming release, Morning Star:

Morning Star, Kristen’s third installment in her Christian Contemporary Romance series called Moanna Island, releases January 8, 2019 with pre-orders starting soon. In her new novel, love interests Shane and Cover image for Kristen's Book, Morning StarAddie, both struggle with fears over failures and taking risk. Read below to get glimpse of her upcoming release:

Addie McHenry, restoration home builder extraordinaire, catches her big break when the House to Home network contracts her to film a reality TV show focusing on how she brings homes back to life. She sets her sights on one of the oldest on Moanna’s beach and has to risk everything just to get it.

Shane Armstrong moved from Savannah to his grandmother’s Moanna oceanside house when his world shattered five months before. He went on leave from his job as a Coast Guard helicopter rescue swimmer, hopeful his grandmother’s peaceful street will help him heal. The reality TV show’s arrival threatens this serenity.

But the construction and camera crews are nothing compared to Addie herself. She’s tough as nails, challenging, and superbly bossy as she works to get her way. But she’s also kind, hardworking, and has a relationship with God Shane can’t begin to understand.

With each encounter, Shane’s walls start to crumble as Addie brings more than just the historical home back to life, but him as well. Addie tries desperately not to enjoy spending time with the irritable and scowling boy from next door. He hides his heartache well, but she sees it there behind his prickly exterior. Soon she begins to uncover the sacrificial hero underneath the façade.

With both of them only temporary residents on Moanna Island, their thin ice relationship crashes to a halt. Can Shane return to his risky job with the Coast Guard? Does he even want to? And can Addie let him go and follow her dreams even when tragedy strikes?

 

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