Heart care

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My husband knows the pain of estrangement.

The sting of regret and the anxiety of second-guessing himself and replaying words spoken and conversations held. He’s felt the bittersweet grief left by memories that once brought joy but now come laden with pain. I’ve watched him mourn moments he’ll probably never experience again. He’s grieved the vacations they won’t take and holidays they won’t celebrate together.

Although I suspect the treatment he suffered for years prior stung worse.

He was married prior to meeting me, and before yielding his life to Christ. While that relationship began pleasantly enough, it soon devolved in yelling, fighting, name-calling and what I’d term verbal and emotional abuse. After fifteen years of feeling constantly under attack, he left. He’s certain things between him and his ex would’ve played out differently, had he been following Christ. But sadly, he wasn’t, and they didn’t.

In the years that followed, he worked hard to remain engaged in his children’s lives, a goal challenged by geographical distance and a severe case of parental alienation. This, coupled with the guilt he felt from leaving his children, caused him to over-function and appease his kids. Although his intentions were good, the results weren’t. Afraid of losing the relationships he fought so hard to maintain, he allowed one child in particular to treat him in much the same way as his ex had. We both assumed tempers would calm with time, love and consistency.

Unfortunately, that’s not what happened. Instead, the hostility and behavior escalated until this particular relationship fractured completely. While God can bring reconciliation from seemingly hopeless situations, that typically requires both parties to invest in the repair. That’s a difficult reality to accept. But it also carries the potential for freedom and personal healing, because it helps us release what isn’t ours to carry.

Our journey showed us that reconciliation requires more than one willing heart. Each person must be willing to acknowledge the wounds they suffered and inflicted. Both must willingly pursue healing, growth, and honest conversation. When that happens, even deeply fractured relationships can begin to mend. When it doesn’t, one person’s effort can carry a relationship only so far.

You might know this from experience.

Perhaps you presently find yourself where my husband stood, early in his relational storm—thinking if only you tried harder, loved more and responded to hostility with grace, you’ll eventually win the other person over. Or, maybe after decades of attempts you recognize it’s time to walk away—at least, until your friend, loved one or spouse shows they’re willing and able to change. Or maybe you sense God re-igniting the hope that a barrage of arguments and mistreatment tried to kill. Only, you’re not sure you have the courage to try again, because hope, once dashed, can feel risky.

What if you get hurt yet again?

I don’t have any brilliant answers, except this: Jesus knows the best response. The healthiest response. Scripture phrases it this way: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18, NIV).

If it’s possible.

As far as it depends on us.

This reminds us that we’re responsible for our actions and reactions, but we have no control over someone else’s choices or maturity. Because here’s something I’m learning, as I navigate some of my challenging relationships: We can’t control how anyone else behaves. We can’t remove someone else’s bitterness, expand their perspective, open their ears to productive conversation or soften a hardened heart.

But we can become the best version of ourselves possible.

We can view every interaction as a learning opportunity that leads to greater self-awareness of our wounding and the lies attached to them. To increased spiritual maturity that stems from deeper dependence on Christ. And the priceless gift of enhanced intimacy with the Lord.

God can bring such beauty to us, our lives and our future relationships when we choose to grow through the pain, refusing to get stuck in the mess or our “offense”. Christ promised to bring good from our pain. But that usually requires effort on our part—not to fix the situation, but instead, to fix our gaze—on Jesus, keep our ears tuned to the Holy Spirit, and our feet ready to follow however He leads.*

If this is something you’re navigating now, I encourage you to catch Carol and my series on the Faith Over Fear podcast on relational peace and how to love others well without losing ourselves. This past Tuesday, we launched with one of our favorite guests, Becky Harling, who discussed with Carol how fear leads to over-functioning in our relationships and how over-functioning leads to burnout and resentment. Next week, I’m talking with a trauma-informed biblical counselor regarding what Scripture actually teaches regarding healthy boundaries. The following Tuesday, Carol and Bible teacher Kathy Howard will discuss how to respond rather than react in difficult relationships, followed by a discussion with neuropsychologist Dr. Michelle Bengston on how to handle those relationships that don’t change, typically because the other person refuses to do so. And finally, we’ll close our series discussing what to do with the unpleasant emotions that often come when we others choose to remain in harmful behaviors and patterns.

Before you go, what most encouraged or frustrated you in today’s post?

Share in the comments below. Let me know how I can pray for you as well. And wherever you’re at relationally, know this: God sees you. He loves you, remains with you and will bring beauty from your pain. That I can promise you, because He promised it first (Rom. 8:28).

*If this feels hard and confusing, can I gently encourage you to not give up? Learning to recognize God’s voice and sense His leading takes time and practice, and often, prayer asking for His help. Thankfully, this is a request He loves to answer! Feel free to reach out to me through my contact page if you’d like to know about the resources I’ve found helpful in my journey toward increased spiritual sensitivity.

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back
  2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships
  3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free
  4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety
  5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ

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Have you ever seen a tree split in two, yet still standing tall? It’s a beautiful and amazing thing to behold.

Recently my husband and I went camping in the Monongahela National Forest in West Virginia. I didn’t notice the tree the evening before, when we set up camp. But at dawn, I wandered a bit and discovered the tall beauty. Slender but sturdy, she rose high above our campsite. Right down the center, it looked like a perfect slice had been made from top to bottom. Yet still she stood, growing and thriving, providing shelter for countless forest creatures.

Gazing at the two halves, I began to think about how that’s sometimes the way it is with people. Many of us seem to have two halves—one that’s our private self and one that’s the version we show the world. Both halves are there, making up one whole and functioning as one for all the world to see.

Yet when you pause to look closely, you notice there’s a split. Maybe one half isn’t identical to the other. Perhaps it has scars, defects, and wounds, things that weaken its structure or weigh it down. The other side might look healthier, as if thriving. Regardless, it’s connected to that other half. Both are part of the same unit. They are one, tied together in life.

For many years I was like that—I had what felt like two widely separate “halves.” I had my public self, which pretended everything was just perfect, as if I had no problems at all. Perhaps I looked confident, invincible, like I had it all together. Yet walking alongside me in every moment was that other half—vulnerable, wounded, hurting, and overly sensitive.

That other half had a harder time trusting, a harder time confiding. It built up an armor of protection from what it assumed was a big, bad world—so much armor, in fact, that few could penetrate it. So much armor that I spent far too much energy on protecting myself from harm instead of what God really wanted me to focus on.

It was a lonely place, and I’m grateful those years are over.

That notion of a hidden self—a hidden “half”—is something I address in my latest Christian contemporary novel, Tangled Roots. In the book, Tiff has carefully constructed a façade so ironclad that no one knows she was once raised in an abusive, dysfunctional family, one of those “no good Steadmans.” She ran so far from her past both physically and emotionally that it doesn’t even cross her mind anymore, except in the occasional nightmare.

Yet when her brother is released from prison and his parole officer wants him to join Tiff in her new, wholesome hometown of Dahlia, South Carolina, her carefully concealed past now comes back to haunt her. She has to confront her past—her hidden wounds, her hidden self, not to mention her anger toward her brother and her family—in order to move into a healthy, godly future.

Do you know someone who goes through this in real life, or is that something you have been struggling with? It takes a lot of emotional and spiritual effort to maintain those two halves—so much so that the work sometimes interferes with God’s purpose for our lives. Sometimes it prevents us from forgiving those who once hurt us, or even forgiving ourselves for past sins. Sometimes it prevents us from becoming the best, healthiest version of ourselves—the person God truly wants us to be, brimming with the fruit of the Spirit.

There are times when it’s best to leave the past in the past. But sometimes, we need to deal with the pain of the past in order to let it go.

God can help with this. Church can help with this.

But once we’re free of the shackles of the past, the liberation is truly, abundantly awesome.

“So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.”—Colossians 2:10 (NLT)

Let’s talk about this! How easy or challenging do you find it to share your pain and difficulties with others? Why do you think this is? Share your thoughts in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage each other!

Get to Know Jessica Brodie

Jessica Brodie is an award-winning Christian novelist, journalist, editor, blogger, and writing coach. She is also the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate, the oldest newspaper in Methodism. Her two Christian contemporary novels, The Memory Garden and Tangled Roots, are Amazon bestsellers. Learn more about Jessica’s writing ministry and read her faith blog at http://jessicabrodie.com. She has a YouTube devotional, and you can also connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and more. She’s also produced a free eBook, A God-Centered Life: 10 Faith-Based Practices When You’re Feeling Anxious, Grumpy, or Stressed.

Check Out Her Latest Release, Tangled Roots:

Some secrets can’t stay buried forever.
Tiff Steadman has spent seven years running from the broken pieces of her past—the alcoholic parents, the convicted-felon brother, the shame of being “one of those no-good Steadmans.” Now, as editor of the Dahlia Weekly, she’s finally built the respectable life she’s always craved. With a proposal from her upstanding boyfriend Bobby, everything seems perfect.

Until her past comes knocking.

James Steadman has found God behind prison bars, but freedom feels more terrifying than his cell ever did. All he wants is a chance to reconnect with the little sister he once protected—the sister who now refuses to even acknowledge his existence. When his parole officer sends him to Dahlia, James discovers Tiff’s walls run deeper than he imagined, and starting over means confronting the wreckage they both left behind.

Two siblings. One devastating secret. And a love that refuses to let go.

As wedding plans collide with family secrets, Tiff must choose between the safe life she’s built and the messy grace that might heal them both. Can she find the courage to let her brother back into her heart? And can James prove that redemption is real—even for people like them?

In a small Southern town where everyone knows everyone’s business, some stories are too painful to tell—and too powerful to stay buried. Grab your copy HERE!

Buy Book Two in the Dahlia Series, where grace meets grit, hearts are mended, and hope finds a way to flourish.

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back
  2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships
  3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free
  4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety
  5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ

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Sadly, I’ve hurt a lot of people in the name of Christ. More accurately, when I claim I’m furthering His mission but later discovered, when my thinking brain re-engaged, that I was actually working against His mission. And I’m in a strange place where I recognize the ugliness displayed by many Christ-followers while seeing myself in them. This happened again just the other day. While out to dinner with non-religious friends, they shared strong emotions related to a social media clip they’d watched in which an evangelist verbally wounded a college-aged rape victim.

Not wanting to receive second-hand information as fact, I went home and searched for the video. I never found it, but I did discover another, similar video that seemed to support our friend’s claims. Initially, I felt angry and indignant. Not long after, I felt convicted as the Lord reminded me of all the times my pride caused me to prioritize winning a discussion over protecting a relationship and my fear provoked defensiveness that prevented me from hearing the other person’s heart.

And sometimes still does. Each time a situation or conversation provokes a gut-reaction, I walk away with shame and regret. I suspect many of the Christ-followers I see fighting with others on social media feel the same. The Holy Spirit, our supernatural source of peace and love, resides within us, after all, inviting us to more consistently demonstrate the heart and mission of Christ who chose to die for the very people raising their fists against Him.

Jesus regularly demonstrated how to apply all of 1 Peter 3:15, which states,

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (NIV).

As a faith-based communicator, I’m comfortable sharing reasons for my faith. But as a recent Faith Over Fear guest so wisely stated the other day, how we share is equally important. And like I indicated at the beginning of this post, this is an area in which I want, and need, to grow.

Here’s how I’m working on this.

Practicing “the pause.”

You may remember this phrase from the graphics that circulated social media a year or so ago. I’ve combined this idea with what I’ve learned regarding neural plasticity. I’m practicing pausing for three seconds before responding in typical, low-stakes, conversations to dismantle the neural pathways in my brain that trigger reactivity while creating new, gentler channels more aligned with my core values.

The more I practice this in peaceful conversations, the easier it will feel to do the same when I feel more emotionally charged.  

Evaluating My Emotions

For years, I’d react first and process how I felt and why later. Obviously, this didn’t help me change my behavior. I’m learning, however, to recognize physical signs, like increased body temperature, an accelerated pulse, and a tight stomach, that indicate something evoked within me anxiety and fear. This allows me to seek God’s insight regarding the reason for my inner angst. Sometimes the root surprises me.

For example, a while ago an extended family member engaged me in a debate on religion. This person identifies as naturalistic atheist. Initially, the conversation felt pleasant and intellectually stimulating. Soon, however, my loved one became animated. Not hostile or rude but passionate. Unfortunately, the alarm center in my brain connected this with childhood wounds where caretakers became explosive and rejected me when I expressed a viewpoint contradictory to theirs.

Although I didn’t see the connection in the moment, once I prayerfully processed the situation, I understood my reaction came from past experiences, not the debate. I was then able to use this Spirit-led insight in future scenarios that threatened my subconscious.

Informing my emotions with relevant truth.

This is the Sunday school answer many of us learned in church. We’re taught to take our thoughts captive, to not let our feelings drive us, and to instead fix our minds on truth. But we want to focus on relevant truth. We need to understand our inner world, the lie stirring things up, and how it arose to refute it accurately and effectively. This includes more than reflecting on verses to consider evidence that contradicts our fear, such as the depth of our relationship with the person and their character and heart.

I want to be a peacemaker who accurately reflects my Savior and, through a perfect blend of love truth and grace, show just how good life with Him is. I recognize I still have much room for growth in this area. Thankfully, the Lord gave our brains the ability to change and fills our souls with the power to do so. I’m encouraged to know that the more I take in Christ’s love, the more His love will naturally flow from me, and the more I practice applying all of 1 Peter 3:15, the more natural it will feel to do so in the future.    

What do you find most helpful in regard to regulating your emotions and more consistently responding to uncomfortable discussions and events with love and grace? Share in the comments!

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back
  2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships
  3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free
  4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety
  5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ

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Comparison. I’m pretty sure we all do it. But this toxic tendency also tends to increase our insecurity, misery, and can make us feel as if the Lord loves others more than us. Today’s guest, Dr. Michelle Bengtson, offers a much more hopeful, and encouraging practice able to turn our competitions into celebrations.

Why did God open those doors for her and not me? What did she do that I didn’t, to deserve the picture-perfect family? Why have her books been more successful than mine? Those are the sneaky thoughts that filter into my unguarded mind, like sand into my sandals even weeks after leaving the beach. It’s not something I’m proud of…it’s embarrassing. But the enemy knows how to distract me from my identity, the source of my worth, and my calling: comparison and jealousy. Maybe you can relate.

Jealousy sneaks into our hearts in subtle ways. We scroll through social media, see the successes of others, and feel that quiet sting of comparison. Without realizing it, we begin to question God’s goodness, wondering why we don’t have what others do. But here’s the truth: jealousy shifts our focus from what we have to what we lack. In contrast, gratitude turns our hearts back to the abundant blessings God has provided.

One powerful way to overcome jealousy is to cultivate a heart of gratitude and contentment.

Paul’s words teach us that contentment doesn’t come from having it all; it comes from a grateful heart that recognizes God’s sufficiency in every season. “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content…I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound”. (Philippians 4:11-12 ESV)

When we actively look for things to thank God for, we invite Him to transform our mindset. Instead of longing for someone else’s story, we start cherishing our own. After all, God’s plan for each of us is unique and purposeful. The moment we start to count our blessings, we see how He has equipped us with all we need for our own journey.

Thank God for His specific blessings. When we focus on what we’re grateful for, jealousy loses its grip. Through gratitude, God shifts our perspective from comparison to contentment. Then we see that what God has given us is not only enough but abundant.

In what ways does jealousy threaten your peace?

How will you choose gratitude today, allowing God to fill you with His peace and contentment?

Father, help us to be grateful for all you’ve done and who you are, knowing you are sufficient for every need. Amen.

Get to Know Dr. Michelle:

Dr. Michelle Bengtson is the author of the multiple award-winning books Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression, Hope Prevails Bible Study, and AWSA Book of the Year: “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises. She is also the author of Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right, The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms, and Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise that Your Past is Not Wasted. She is the host of the top-rated podcast, Your Hope Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson. Her ministry’s goal is to restore hope, renew minds, and empower others to live in their God-given identity, and she provides regular hope for her readers at DrMichelleB.com.

Catch her conversation with my cohost Carol McCracken on the Faith Over Fear podcast, episode titled “Finding God in Our Pain”.

Check out her latest release, Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted:

We all endure trials, pain, and hardship in this life. The enemy often uses those experiences to convince us that our brokenness disqualifies us from ever being used by God again–that we can no longer be a testimony because of our emotional or physical scars. The truth is, your past pain and brokenness actually serve as preparation for what God wants to do in you and through you, if you will but surrender to and trust in him.

In Sacred Scars, neuropsychologist and fellow sufferer Dr. Michelle Bengtson helps you

· understand suffering through a biblical perspective
· discover how the trials of your life serve a purpose
· reflect on the healing that God has accomplished
· comfort others with the comfort God has given you

Just as Jesus’s scars didn’t disappear after his resurrection, our scars tell our story and lend credence to our testimony of the love and power of God. If you are ready to turn your past pain into present comfort and future hope, let Dr. Bengtson be your compassionate guide.

Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back
  2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships
  3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free
  4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety
  5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ

by on

(Note: This first published on October 12, 2023 and is an adapted transcript from one of my former iBelieve video devotions.)

I’ve found, I most need to laugh when I least feel like laughing. For my mental health, for the health of my relationships, and sometimes for the perseverance to push through challenges. When I feel anything but cheerful and humorous, that’s precisely when I need to find a way to intentionally bring sunshine into my day. 

Years ago, when my husband and I were fighting for our marriage, and I mean fighting–for a relationship we’d mentally given up on only months before, we learned we needed to take time for fun. Especially when working through difficult stuff. And I have to tell you, that was hard. My pride tempted me to isolate myself, but our counselor told us we needed to take time to play. Otherwise, she warned, we might forget why we fell in love and that we weren’t enemies, regardless of how we felt in that moment. 

While I wish I would’ve done this more, I intentionally found ways for us to laugh, together. I purposefully cultivated silliness into our relationship and our home. I believe this became the glue that held us together and kept our hearts soft toward one another when the stress of life could’ve pulled us apart. 

When life feels really stressful, like I have more to do than time to do it in, I know I need to intentionally set an afternoon aside to fortify my soul with laughter.

A joyful heart is good medicine,  but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Maybe you’ve felt the last half of that verse. Maybe your life this year has felt anything but cheerful. Maybe laughter has all but disappeared from your home, from your relationships, and your heart. I’ve been there, and man, is it hard. Much too hard, in fact. And when I land in that place, I intentionally find reasons to laugh. 

At first, it might feel fabricated, forced. But soon, it becomes a habit, one that fills my heart with joy and soon spills from me, contagiously. It changes the tone of my home and my relationships for the better. 

Try it, because right now we could all use all the sunshine we can get. 

These videos may help:

And make sure to catch this week’s Faith Over Fear episode:

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back
  2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships
  3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free
  4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety
  5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ

by on

Scripture tells us that God’s power is made perfect, or complete, in our weakness. But what does that mean, exactly? And how can that help us get through long, tiring winter days when life’s demands continually grow and our energy wanes? My sweet friend, speaker and Bible teacher Becky Harling, shares her soul-fortifying insights in the below post, which I snagged (by permission!) from her website.

Strength for When You Feel Weary

by Becky Harling

Do you ever feel completely spent—like you’re running on empty? Maybe you’ve been battling a relentless illness, or perhaps you’ve been pouring out your heart in prayer for a loved one without seeing change. Or, maybe you’re simply tired from the daily grind, struggling to keep up with life’s demands. Whatever the cause, we all experience seasons of exhaustion. In those times, we desperately need to find renewed strength. But how do we access it?

David reminds us in Psalm 18:1, “The Lord is my strength.” And Isaiah offers hope when he writes, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:29-31).

The key to finding strength lies in hoping in the Lord. But what does that look like practically?

Praise: An Anchor for Your Soul

One of the most powerful tools God has given us is praise. When we lift our hearts in worship, we shift our focus off our circumstances and onto the greatness of God. Worship isn’t about feeding God’s ego; rather, it’s a channel through which the Holy Spirit fills us with Christ’s strength, right in the middle of our human frailty. As we praise Him, we become more like Him, strong and steadfast.

When I feel weary, I know God is inviting me to pause and praise. Recently, I learned that an oncologist has been giving his patients my book, The 30 Day Praise Challenge, to help them face the challenges of chemotherapy. Why? Because as they praise God, they find the strength to face each day. Friend, you cannot praise God without being strengthened—praise connects you to God’s power.

Scripture: Power for the Weary

The Word of God is more than just text to read; it’s a weapon against weariness. When we pray the words of Scripture, we stand on God’s promises, and the enemy of our souls, who wants to drag us into discouragement, is forced to retreat. Having a few key verses ready to pray over yourself can be transformative. Try verses like Psalm 27:1, Ephesians 2:6, and Isaiah 40:29-31 when you’re feeling depleted. When God’s Word becomes your prayer, His strength infuses your heart.

Community: Strength in Connection

When weariness hits, our tendency can be to withdraw, but isolation only increases the burden. Instead, we need to lean into our community and let others carry our burdens with us. God designed us for connection, knowing that our hope is strengthened when we journey together. Be vulnerable, let others in, and allow their prayers and encouragement to lift you. Often, God uses the hope of those around us to renew our own.

Weariness is a reality we all face at times, but the good news is, we don’t have to face it alone or in our own strength. The next time you feel tired and depleted, pause to praise, pray Scripture over yourself, and reach out to trusted friends. I believe you’ll experience hope and strength rising in your heart as you do. Remember, God is always ready to meet you in your weariness and infuse you with His boundless strength.

Now is a great time to start Christmas shopping! Why not purchase a copy of Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World for two or three of your friends.

This week on the Connected Mom Podcast we are talking with Kim Sorrelle about what it looks like to live I Corinthians 13 out in your home!

Get to Know Becky Harling

Becky Harling is an author and speaker, and certified coach with The John Maxwell Team. She helps those looking to move beyond their personal obstacles to live life intentionally with purpose and passion. She offers mastermind classes and seminars on leadership, communication and personal growth. She also offers personal coaching for those looking to grow emotionally, professionally or spiritually. She’s also the host of the Connected Mom Podcast and is passionate about helping people thrive. As she states on her website, “One of the reasons I am so passionate about helping you find hope, is because I know what it’s like to feel hopeless. I am a survivor of both breast cancer and childhood sexual abuse. I understand what it’s like to feel stuck and what it takes to overcome those obstacles. I learned to shift my focus. Praising God was the key. As I learned to lift my praise, my attitude became more positive and confident hope was the end result.”

Check Out Her Latest Release, Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World:

Loneliness is an epidemic, but you can live life with a deep sense of belonging.

If you’ve ever felt that ache to connect and belong, you’re not alone: three out of every five people are suffering from loneliness. No group is excluded—married, unmarried, parents, pastors, leaders, elderly, and teenagers. We all experience moments . . . or long seasons of heart-aching loneliness. And it hurts. It can hurt right to the core.

In Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World, relationship expert, mother, grandmother, and John Maxwell Certified Coach Becky Harling taps into the deep ache of loneliness and shares with readers a rich theology of belonging. Does God ache for us? What does it mean that we belong to Him? How do we establish a deeply bonded relationship with others? What steps can we take to improve our relationships?

Because we were made for God and for community, relational isolation or brokenness is incredibly painful. But we don’t have to live isolated and unconnected. In fact, we must not. Our souls were designed for more. Deeply rooted in Scripture and joined with reflection questions, this book shows us how we can strengthen our relationships and experience deep connection.

Buy on Amazon

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back
  2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships
  3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free
  4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety
  5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ

by on

(Please note, the below post is not intended to minimize anyone’s pain or hardship. I share it because I found the reminder to see good, even if but a single ray of light piercing through an otherwise cloudy sky, in the present encouraging and a practice to which I aspire. I know there is good in each moment because God is with me in each moment)

I woke up one Friday to no electricity, no cell phone signal, and a neighborhood that looked like it had been through a war. Strong winds and tornadoes from the hurricane left behind a nightmare of destruction. Signs of disaster surrounded me—neighbors with downed trees, some on their homes. Roads blocked.

And the rain was still coming down.

Two days prior, I’d been weeping over feelings of stress and overwhelm, trappings of my busy everyday “normal” life. Now, those feelings seemed so petty in comparison to what we faced today. Perspective slid into alignment with the perfect click of hindsight, replaced with understanding about what really matters.

God, life, family, food and shelter, basic human kindness … that’s what really matters—not work deadlines or to-do lists. Not all those silly surface worries that had consumed me days prior.

After the wind and the rain had subsided, my husband and I walked our acre of land and surveyed the house. Gratitude welled up in my heart. Unlike so many others, we’d somehow escaped with not a downed tree on our property. We were without power, and would be for several days, but our house was unscathed, and none of us was hurt. We had a generator that would keep our food from spoiling and camping gear that made the ordeal somewhat like an adventure.

Yet not too far from me, people were mourning lives lost from that same storm, houses demolished, roads washed away, and whole towns underwater.

Just like that, lives changed. For some, everything changed.

This week, I’m keeping that gratitude close to my heart, and I pray you’ll do the same.

We all go through suffering and hardship in our lives, some far more than others. We never know when we’ll say “I love you” to someone for the last time, or whether the things we take for granted will suddenly be gone.

What we do have is right now—today. We have this moment to be alive, to allow gratitude to swell in our hearts and minds, to share love, mercy, and compassion with fellow humans, to care for each other in the way Jesus commanded us. We have this moment to bask in the sunshine and breathe in the cool morning air, to laugh with a loved one and glorify our Savior.

God commands us not to worry over and over again in the Bible. Jesus told us Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (NIV).

The past is gone, and the future could be taken in an instant. What we have is right now, this beautiful moment.

Let’s savor it knowing that we are beloved today.

If you know someone who would benefit from reading this blog, please share this with them.

Get to Know Jessica Brodie

Jessica is an award-winning Christian journalist, author, blogger, and editor. She is the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate, the oldest newspaper in Methodism, which has won more than 118 journalism awards during her tenure. She is the author of two devotionals, Feed My Sheep (2019) and More Like Jesus (2018), and editor of Stories of Racial Awakening (2018) and Called by God (2020), all from her newspaper’s Advocate Press. She also writes fiction, represented by Bob Hostetler of The Steve Laube Agency, and her novel The Memory Garden won the 2018 Genesis contest for unpublished contemporary fiction from the American Christian Fiction Writers. A speaker and contributor to Crosswalk, Christianity.com, and the United Methodist News Service, she has a faith blog at JessicaBrodie.com. Subscribe to Jessica’s YouTube Channel HERE.

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back
  2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships
  3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free
  4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety
  5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ

by on

Our already busy and fast-paced world seems to be continually speeding up. As soon as I create margin in my life, I find myself bombarded with numerous opportunities to fill it. And there are days when I simply feel weary.

If you can relate, I hope you’l gain encouragement and some helpful insights from my sweet friend Becky Harling’s post. (This first posted on her blog.)

Do you ever feel completely spent—like you’re running on empty? Maybe you’ve been battling a relentless illness, or perhaps you’ve been pouring out your heart in prayer for a loved one without seeing change. Or, maybe you’re simply tired from the daily grind, struggling to keep up with life’s demands. Whatever the cause, we all experience seasons of exhaustion. In those times, we desperately need to find renewed strength. But how do we access it?

David reminds us in Psalm 18:1, “The Lord is my strength.” And Isaiah offers hope when he writes, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:29-31).

The key to finding strength lies in hoping in the Lord. But what does that look like practically?

Praise: An Anchor for Your Soul

One of the most powerful tools God has given us is praise. When we lift our hearts in worship, we shift our focus off our circumstances and onto the greatness of God. Worship isn’t about feeding God’s ego; rather, it’s a channel through which the Holy Spirit fills us with Christ’s strength, right in the middle of our human frailty. As we praise Him, we become more like Him, strong and steadfast.

When I feel weary, I know God is inviting me to pause and praise. Recently, I learned that an oncologist has been giving his patients my book, The 30 Day Praise Challenge, to help them face the challenges of chemotherapy. Why? Because as they praise God, they find the strength to face each day. Friend, you cannot praise God without being strengthened—praise connects you to God’s power.

Scripture: Power for the Weary

The Word of God is more than just text to read; it’s a weapon against weariness. When we pray the words of Scripture, we stand on God’s promises, and the enemy of our souls, who wants to drag us into discouragement, is forced to retreat. Having a few key verses ready to pray over yourself can be transformative. Try verses like Psalm 27:1, Ephesians 2:6, and Isaiah 40:29-31 when you’re feeling depleted. When God’s Word becomes your prayer, His strength infuses your heart.

Community: Strength in Connection

When weariness hits, our tendency can be to withdraw, but isolation only increases the burden. Instead, we need to lean into our community and let others carry our burdens with us. God designed us for connection, knowing that our hope is strengthened when we journey together. Be vulnerable, let others in, and allow their prayers and encouragement to lift you. Often, God uses the hope of those around us to renew our own.

Weariness is a reality we all face at times, but the good news is, we don’t have to face it alone or in our own strength. The next time you feel tired and depleted, pause to praise, pray Scripture over yourself, and reach out to trusted friends. I believe you’ll experience hope and strength rising in your heart as you do. Remember, God is always ready to meet you in your weariness and infuse you with His boundless strength.

Get to know Becky Harling:

Becky Harling is an author and speaker, host of the Connected Mom podcast, and certified coach with The John Maxwell Team. She helps those looking to move beyond their personal obstacles to live life intentionally with purpose and passion. She offers mastermind classes and seminars on leadership, communication and personal growth. In addition she offers personal coaching for those looking to grow emotionally, professionally or spiritually. Connect with her on her website, Instagram, Facebook, and follow her work on Amazon.

Learn more about her latest release, Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World:

Loneliness is an epidemic, but you can live life with a deep sense of belonging.

If you’ve ever felt that ache to connect and belong, you’re not alone: three out of every five people are suffering from loneliness. No group is excluded—married, unmarried, parents, pastors, leaders, elderly, and teenagers. We all experience moments . . . or long seasons of heart-aching loneliness. And it hurts. It can hurt right to the core.

In Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World, relationship expert, mother, grandmother, and John Maxwell Certified Coach Becky Harling taps into the deep ache of loneliness and shares with readers a rich theology of belonging. Does God ache for us? What does it mean that we belong to Him? How do we establish a deeply bonded relationship with others? What steps can we take to improve our relationships?

Because we were made for God and for community, relational isolation or brokenness is incredibly painful. But we don’t have to live isolated and unconnected. In fact, we must not. Our souls were designed for more. Deeply rooted in Scripture and joined with reflection questions, this book shows us how we can strengthen our relationships and experience deep connection.

And make sure to listen to her conversation with my cohost Carol McCracken on the Faith Over Fear podcast.

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back
  2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships
  3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free
  4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety
  5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ

by on

Not long ago, a young adult I mentored said, “I’m not like you. I hold grudges.” The statement took me aback as I could easily remember months and even years when I allowed bitterness from a previous wound steal my joy, my peace, and at times, my sleep. While I was thankful to think that I’d grown in this area, it still doesn’t come without a struggle. The deeper my hurt, the harder it is to forgive. I find it easier, however, when I reflect upon the inner angst my Savior is calling me from and the increased joy and peace He is calling me to.

If you can relate, you might find encouragement in Maureen Miller’s thoughts below.

Freedom in Forgiveness

by Maureen Miller

Sometimes God won’t leave well enough alone.

It hadn’t been a week since I’d been wronged. The little girl named Kristie who we’d grown to love, who’d been part of our family for more than a year, was taken away without warning on a hot August afternoon in 2008—her grandmother having changed her mind on the adoption placement we’d thought was part of God’s plan.

Our girl gone, I sat in the ash heap of my broken heart, vacillating between bitterness and deep sadness. It was then that God began meddling with my emotions, though I wanted to wallow in self-pity awhile longer, thank you very much.

“Forgive as you’ve been forgiven,” He whispered.

“But I’ve never done something so hurtful,” came my reply. “How could she?”

“First, don’t be so sure,” I heard Him say a little more loudly. After all, He’s all about leading us to humility, and my self-righteous response was a tad too haughty. And as if that wasn’t enough, God continued, “Furthermore, you’re failing to see that she loves her too.”

Truth is, I was blinded by pain, not to mention I had a tight grip on my grudge, much like a child might cling to a security blanket, as though my vice hold on hot anger brought justification.

“Can’t You see what her wrong has done to me?”

And then, on that day, the day God wouldn’t leave well enough alone, He simply repeated Himself for emphasis–

“Forgive as you’ve been forgiven.”

Blast! He was serious. So I turned to Scripture, thinking perhaps I’d find a small-print clause, anything that allowed me to stand my ground a bit longer. Surely strong-willed Peter or perseverant Paul had something to say to justify my resentment, perhaps buy me more time in my oddly comfortable pit of despair.

But what I discovered was in Mark’s gospel, that evangelist who was likely a mere teenager when Jesus called to twelve others, “Follow me.” The one who grew old and fiery, who experienced mistreatment and, eventually, was bound by a rope and dragged through Alexandria until he died in a dusty street.

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, [and then] your Father in heaven may forgive you…” (Mark 11:25 NIV).

Yes, it was this man, John Mark, who penned those red-letter words, spoken by the One who’d endured more suffering than we can imagine, who then became sin on our behalf, though without sin Himself—His death offering us freedom through forgiveness.

Ah. I sensed my grip loosening on my grievance as I leaned in to listen. And here I’d thought God’s word to me was an “If / Then” that offered the one who’d hurt me freedom. Frankly, I wasn’t ready to see her set free. Instead, I wanted her to regret her decision, change her mind when she saw the error of her ways. That’s just the honest truth.

But what I read from Mark was something else. Here I was, pleading with God in prayer to heal my broken heart, bind up my wounds, so I could wear the bandages like a badge that others might see my sadness and sympathize. How selfish!

These words, however, offered a gracious gift. Instead of exhorting me to forgive so that this person would be set free, this passage spoke of my forgiveness offering freedom, to me.

Oh my, God’s mercy—to work while I was yet in my simple-minded, selfish state. All He asked was that I do that one thing, like a baby step. And though tottering, I obediently took it to find I was still standing.

What was that step? Even through clenched teeth, I said aloud those 3-words—“I forgive her.” Then I wrote in a letter “I forgive you,” and mailed it.

Though I didn’t know how it would be received, doubted it would ultimately change her mind, that wasn’t what God said was important. I’d obeyed, despite feeling.

And though Kristie never became my daughter, over time, feelings of forgiveness—yes, even love for the one whom I felt wronged me—did come to match my faith-steps. Because, just like a toddler who graduates from tip-toed wobbles to running, I also matured, discovering that it’s in forgiving that we, too, are set free from the binding fetters of sin.

Indeed, there’s power when we forgive, and it’s true—God simply won’t leave well enough alone. Why? Because He knows and wants so much more. Beyond well enough is the well-spring of abundant life that Jesus offered. Through His death, He forgave our sins, which enables us, likewise, to forgive—no matter the circumstances.

And forgiveness? It’s the crossroad to freedom just outside an empty tomb.

(Kristie Miller resides in Oklahoma. We are close friends.)

***This piece appeared first in The Mountaineer, Easter Edition.***

How have you experienced freedom in forgiving?

Is there someone you yet need to forgive? Today’s the day!

Get to Know Maureen:

Maureen Miller is an award-winning author featured in more than twenty collaboratives. She writes for her local newspaper, is a contributing writer for Guideposts, and a featured blogger for several online devotional websites. She loves life in all its forms and enjoys it with her husband and their three children and grandchildren on Selah Farm in western North Carolina. She blogs at www.penningpansies.com, sharing God’s extraordinary character in the ordinary.

Check out Maureen’s story in Life in the Estrogen-Free Zone:

Stories to warm your heart, make you nod in understanding, and remind you of the extraordinary blessings that come with being a boy mom.

Life in the Estrogen-Free Zone is a delightful compilation of laughter, love, and godly advice from moms who proudly navigate the wild terrain of raising boys.

In this heartwarming collection, Michelle Rayburn and eighteen other moms of boys come together to share their unique experiences, offering a refreshing perspective on the joys and challenges that, for some, come with being the sole estrogen ambassador in a household full of testosterone. Through amusing anecdotes, relatable tales of mischief, and practical biblical insights, these moms shed light on the rollercoaster ride of boyhood.

In the pages, mothers share:

  • Laughter and tears as they recount their hilarious encounters with mud, bugs, and an endless supply of boy energy.
  • Real-life strategies for tackling the messiest situations, teaching life lessons with finesse, and finding the beauty in the chaos.
  • A touch of humor and a wealth of heartfelt wisdom from the vibrant world of boy moms.

If you’re a boy mom craving a dose of camaraderie, a bellyful of laughter, and a reminder that you’re rocking this estrogen-free adventure, this book is the perfect companion. Let these humorous and inspiring tales uplift you and remind you to embrace every messy, joy-filled moment.

The contributing authors include:

Abigail Wallace, Avonlea Q. Krueger, Becky Melby, Betty Predmore, Christina Ryan Claypool, Denise Loock, Gina Stinson, Ginny Dent Brant, Joni Topper, Kim Cusimano, Kolleen Lucariello, Maureen Miller, Melissa Meyer, Michelle Rayburn, Pam Farrel, Pam Fields, Rhonda Stoppe, Stacy Sanchez, Valerie McNulty

Grab a copy HERE.

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back
  2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships
  3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free
  4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety
  5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ