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Archive for the ‘Resting’ Category

In our appearance-and-achievement focused world, it’s easy to feel less than. Insufficient. Unvalued. Unimportant. For moms, there’s often the added pressure to raise impeccable, pleasant, and well-behaved high achievers. Scratch that; that’s no longer good enough. Today’s children must be over-achievers (and as a result, over-stressed!), those who can juggle five hundred activities while learning three languages and standing on their head. Obviously I’m being a bit tongue-in-cheek here, and yet, how often do societal expectations feel equally unreachable?

My guest today, Elizabeth Griffin, a sweet Christian woman with a precious son, shares how her struggle to measure up transformed into the ability to rest, and enjoy, and what God showed her through that.

 

Acceptable to the One Who Matters Most

By Elizabeth Griffin

“Can I wipe that black bean off your bottom lip?”

My wet thumb reaches out and gets in one good smear before Zack pulls away with a grunt. The action has only served to make the remains of his breakfast more evident, and I spend the following 10 minutes calculating my next move. But my 21-year-old son keeps his distance and refuses to let me make him presentable before he lumbers onto the bus that takes him to his school-to-work transition program.

How much of our time as mothers is spent trying to make our children presentable to the world? If we see their acceptability as a symbol of our value, we can become obsessed with it.

One of the most important lessons the Lord teaches me through our second son is how much He values every person, and that the most valuable things in His creation are often the ones this world has no inclination to deem as worthy.

Zack’s older brother Taylor fits the world’s definition of acceptable. At least he did before he decided to go into full-time Christian ministry! Prior to that, society had great plans for him—he has the chops to become a professional jazz pianist, the interpersonal skills to become a highly effective psychologist, and the brains to become a college professor. But he gave all of that up to serve Christ. And the job doesn’t come with a paycheck—he and his wife must raise their own support.

Try explaining that to non-believing grandparents.

My oldest is not the only person many misunderstand. Zack has fragile X syndrome and autism. That double-whammy means he operates at about a four-year-old level, has very little speech, and may never be able to complete a four-hour shift of manual labor. He’s healthy, kind, and has a great sense of humor. His spirit is incredibly tender, and he’s one of the most loving people I’ve known.

But in the world’s eyes, being dependent on others as an adult means you’re a drain on society. Those who view Zack through a utilitarian lens feel sorry for us. They don’t think it’s fair that we have to take care of our adult child. Some have voiced this opinion with firmness and authority—even family members.

That does nothing but hurt.

It’s not possible to explain the moments of my life that have been filled with Zack-love and how wonderful and healing and fun they are. Sure, I’ve had to clean up more messes than I did with Taylor, I’ve grieved over my son’s lack of ability and interaction between us that never existed, and I’ve spent many evenings feeling trapped with a forever-toddler.

But I also have someone in my life who comes running out of the house to greet me with a grin-to-melt-all-hearts every time I come home. I share a million inside jokes that require no words with an adult child who always thinks I’m funny. And I’m given daily affection from the sweetest of man-boys.

I stopped stressing about making Zack presentable to the world a long time ago when none of my attempts, or the work of many therapists and teachers, could do it. And that’s all right, because He’s more than acceptable to the One who created him. He is “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

He’s exactly how God intended him to be. I may not always understand that, but I know it’s true in the deepest of my deep places.

And what about me? Aren’t there some remains of black beans visible on my face from time to time? As much as I try to cover them up, aren’t there things about me that appear glaringly unacceptable? And yet, just like Zack, I am dearly loved by my Creator. I am His child, regardless of my ability or lack thereof. I have been made acceptable through the blood of Jesus. And one day, both Zack and I will be made more than presentable—we will be made perfect.

***

We live in a quick-to-judge society, one where individuals are often evaluated by snapshots of externals. For example, when we see a child with a messy face or hair, or perhaps throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store, it’s easy to form opinions of child and parent. But as Elizabeth’s example of the bean dip shows, we’re only seeing a blip in time, and one with absolutely zero context. Because of this, our quick assumptions are almost guaranteed to be incorrect. The result–parents who feel constantly judged and like they have to meet a set of  obscure and subjective standards. If you’re a parent, you probably know exactly what I mean. But we don’t have to give others power over our emotions or self-assessment. In fact, we shouldn’t. As Elizabeth points out, we should sift everything through the opinion of the One who matters most.

We all have a tendency to allow cultural standards and the opinions of others hinder our freedom and joy. But in Christ, we have the power to rise above and to embrace, fully, who God created us to be. Join me and my ministry team for our next Wholly Loved Conference to learn how to live fully loved and grab hold of the freedom that accompanies that. You can find out more HERE.

Did anything in Elizabeth’s post resonate with you or perhaps change your perspective (of your situation or someone else’s)? In what ways have you been evaluating yourself by the wrong standards, and what can you do today to shift your thinking? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below or on Facebook, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!

More stories about Elizabeth’s journey as a mom can be found on her blog “Follow the Dots” at elizabethgriffin.com. Her book Fragile X, Fragile Hope: Finding Joy in Parenting a Child with Special Needs can be purchased through Amazon or by emailing her at elgrif@juno.com.

Did you enjoy today’s post? If so, I encourage you to sign up for my free quarterly newsletter to receive more inspirational content (along with short stories, recipes, and craft how-tos and to be included in subscriber only give-aways) sent directly to your inbox. You can sign up HERE!

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  • Does failing at something you’ve been assigned or entrusted with cause your stomach to knot? When you miss a deadline, does your thought life run amuck? The bigger question is, are you living in grace? That’s not to say we shouldn’t hold ourselves accountable and honestly assess our shortcomings and errors, but when we do, may we do so with an eye on grace.

As my guest today explains, that’s when we find peace and joy, even in the chaos.

Joy in the Chaos by Ralene Burke

As a writer and editor, there’s nothing like missing a deadline to take the wind out of my sails. That feeling of failure that wraps around my heart, squeezes, and then pops any modicum of self-esteem. Darkness falls over my day, and joy leaks away with each deprecating thought.

It didn’t start out that way, though. I was excited to receive the opportunity. I wrote it on my calendar, even setting the deadline a little earlier than the one that had been given to me. But as with many best laid plans, chaos intervened.

My husband and I got locked into a home improvement job that took more time and money than we had originally intended. Two of my social media clients had some “urgent” stuff that had to go up on social media or in newsletters right away. My allergies went into overdrive and had me laid out for a week.

My self-imposed deadline came and went. So did the one I’d been officially given.

It’s funny how the enemy knows those exact moments when we feel like a failure. When we could choose to accept the mistake and learn, joy and peace follows, but instead he presses those thoughts of what a mess we are, how there is no hope for us. He tells us God is so disappointed, along with everyone else.

Deep breath.

Ultimately, life isn’t about the missed deadlines. It isn’t about the crazy schedules or long to-do lists. Life is about opportunities. The opportunity to follow God, to be obedient, and to be His light in this world. We already know we were not made for this world, but for eternity.

We are responsible to one person: God. We are His children. And He loves us so much. He delights in us. But He’s known us from the beginning of time, long before we were born, long before time itself. He knew the lives we would have. He gave us a reason for being, passions, goals, and more. And He gave us purpose despite the mistakes we would make. Our lives are a constant learning curve.

When we put our focus on God and how He sees us, we should also find joy ourselves. Joy in the opportunity. Joy in the moment. Joy in the fact that He loves us no matter what.

God knew I would have health issues, and they would force me to find ways to work around the normal 9-5 job. He knew being a homeschool mom would keep me hopping, making it feel like I had 2 full-time jobs. Struggling to find my place in the world would give me the grace to work with others struggling to find theirs.

Failure is something I’m quite familiar with—and not just when it comes to deadlines. With each mistake, I’ve learned that it’s an opportunity to trust God and step deeper into grace. I know God is with me at each turn. And even when things don’t go as planned (and how often does that happen?), He still loves me. He still delights in me. And my joy is found in Him.

How has God been revealing His joy to you?

About the Author:

Whether she’s wielding a fantasy writer’s pen, a freelance editor’s sword, or a social media wand, Ralene Burke always has her head in some dreamer’s world. And her goal is to help everyone SHINE BEYOND! She has worked for a variety of groups, including Realm Makers, The Christian PEN, Kentucky Christian Writers Conference, and as an editor for several freelance clients. Her first novel, Bellanok, is available on Amazon!

When her head’s not in the publishing world, she is wife to a veteran and homeschooling mama to their three kids. Her Pinterest board would have you believe she is a master chef, excellent seamstress, and all around crafty diva. If she only had the time . . .

You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, or at her website.

Let’s talk about this! I never would’ve thought I have a fear of failure. I’ve often said, which I believe, that there’s really no failure when we walk with God. It’s all learning, growing in Him and His will for us, and allowing Him to transform our thinking and will. 

But yesterday, something hit my insecurities (and revealed my people pleasing tendencies!), oddly enough, in the form of praise. A reviewer tagged me in a comment on Facebook that, in essence, let me know about THIS. It was a bit surreal to see my name listed among such great authors. That should’ve been cause for celebration, right?

Instead, I felt a tweak in my gut as I thought about the story I’m working on, one I’ve revised at least half a dozen times that I plan to release … in a few short months. (gulp.) And all I could think about was how terrible the story was, how inadequate I felt as a writer, and how I would let this reviewer and all my other readers down.

And then I had to laugh as I realized how easily I fell into the fear of rejection trap–whenever I turn my eyes off Christ and His will for me.

That, my friends, is the answer. But isn’t it always? For as Paul says in Galatians 1:10, “If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant” (NLT). 

Hm … Maybe I should make that my memory verse this week. 😉

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Why is it, the moment we start to pray, our mind jumps to a thousand other things? Why does an hour in church service launch launch thoughts of our to-do list? These questions arose as I read my guest blogger’s post this morning. Fellow ACFW writer Sue Barr shares a comical yet thought-provoking analogy below, from a writer’s perspective. Enjoy, and happy Easter!

Spiritual Bunny Trails

By Sue Barr

Being that the Easter weekend is only a few days away, I thought I’d share a small story about bunnies. Plot Bunnies to be exact. Cute, fuzzy, totally adorable and can lead you down a merry path where you lose focus and ultimately don’t meet any of your goals. I know of which I speak.

Plot Bunny dropped a single line into my brain and then proceeded to hop around adding ideas, characters and exciting scenes. Soon I found myself scouring sites for character inspiration and the whole story consumed me. I lost a few days of precious writing time before the Lord gently reminded me of my current work in progress.

Ultimately, I believe I was allowed to run amok because God had a plan to link plot bunnies with the way we behave as children of God. Fitting, don’t you agree?

How often do we lose focus in our Christian lives? We become sidetracked by social activities within our church family as well as our blood families. Ever catch yourself thinking about where you’ll go for lunch after service when you should be praising God? Do you tune out the pastor as you quickly send/receive a text or peruse the church bulletin? Do you wonder if, or think about, or…the list is long.

Why is that?

In the big picture called Life, our loving Father asks very little of us and we sometimes struggle to spend a few precious minutes focusing on Him. The plot bunnies of life intrude and all they really do is take away our joy.

Then you will call upon Me and you will go and pray to Me and I shall heed you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with your heart. (Jeremiah 29:12-13 One New Man Bible)

What a promise.

God does not lie, and this is a promise we can cling to. We will call. We will pray. Ergo, we will focus, and He shall heed us.

This Friday is Good Friday, when we reflect on the ultimate sacrifice of Christ. He laid down His life so we could stand before our Holy Father blameless and forgiven. Let’s focus our attention on what is true. Cast aside those plot bunnies which threaten to sidetrack us and steal our joy. Give God the Glory, for the things He has done. I love that hymn.

***

Sue Barr is a wife, mom, grandmother and a Christian fiction writer. She’s a member of ACFW as well as Romance Writers of America and their satellite chapter, Faith, Hope and Love. She writes small town contemporary romance as well as Jane Austen Fan Fiction (JAFF).

Her latest release, Caroline, is first in the series Pride & Prejudice continued. Reviewers agree that although Caroline Bingley is a character we all love to hate, they reluctantly find themselves rooting for her throughout the book. Which is exactly why Sue penned this novel. God placed on her heart to write a story of redemptive love and healing of shattered dreams. Something He’s exceptionally good at.

Caroline:

Whatever happened to Caroline Bingley after her brother and unrequited love interest married a Bennet sister?

Caroline Bingley, beyond frustrated with her brother and Mr. Darcy both proposing to the Bennet sisters, dreads their upcoming nuptials. For three years her sole focus has been on attaining a marriage proposal from one Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley, only to be foiled by a country miss with ‘fine eyes’. Adrift and not sure of her place in life, she meets the devastatingly handsome Lord Nathan, who equally vexes and intrigues her.

Lord Nathan Kerr, third in line to a Dukedom, had a well-earned reputation as a Rake. He cast all that and his noble title aside to become Mr. Darcy’s vicar in Kympton, finding contentment in leading his small flock and doing the Lord’s work. His plan for a quiet, country life is thrown into upheaval when he meets the fiery Miss Bingley. Can he reconcile his rising desire for the spoiled miss with how a vicar’s wife ‘should’ behave?

Buy the book HERE.

Visit Sue on her website and blog, connect with her on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter.

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And for those who like to follow the devotions on Wholly Loved, this week guest blogger Eileen Rife shared how we can find peace and fulfillment when our life-roles shift. You can read that HERE. (If you’d like Wholly Loved to come to you, email us at contact(at)whollyloved(dot)com, and visit our website to learn more.

 

 

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When in the middle of a crisis, one word dominates my mind—help! I’d do anything, give up anything, if only God would come through. But oh how quickly pride and entitlement creep in, once the chaos has passed.

It was maybe ten years ago, we were living in a beautiful, spacious home in a gated community, attended a church we loved, and I spent my days doing what I loved—homeschooling our daughter.

In a flash, everything changed, leaving me scrambling, fearful, and crying out for aid.

Our daughter and I were sitting at the breakfast bar, completing her lessons, when I heard the familiar screech-rumble of the garage door opening. I glanced at the time, finding it strange that my husband would come home so early.

When he walked past me without a word a moment later, heading straight for our bedroom, I knew something was wrong.

I immediately followed.

The defeat I saw in his eyes tore at my heart, but what he said after weakened my knees.

That morning began a six-month bout of unemployment that left us scrambling and me crying out to God, “Help us, please! Fix this.”

Then one day, He did. By this point, we’d depleted the last of our savings, and, with all our belongings in storage, we’d moved to a 500 square-foot, furnished, rent-by-the-month apartment. My husband had found temporary contract work while continuing to seek something more permanent.

It’s interesting what happens, when life hits hard and everything is reduced to necessity. In that tiny apartment, with its cheap used furniture, paper-thin walls, and stained and torn linoleum, I learned to become content. To rejoice, actually, in what I had. By taking away our big, fancy house and all the other fluff I’d come to rely on, God granted me an incredible gift—the ability to cherish those things that mattered most—time with my husband and daughter.

So when His aid came and He opened a door for my husband at Union Pacific railroad in Kansas City, MO, I thought I’d arrived. I’d learned my lesson, had found contentment, and could move forward, receiving God’s blessings with open hands.

Open hands that, once they quit clinging to Christ, quickly grasped and strived, until my easily-swayed heart became consumed with a sense of entitlement. It started while house hunting. Needless to say, our budget had changed drastically, and the houses our realtor showed us looked much different than the large, newly built home we’d frantically sold in Louisiana. As we toured smaller, older, and less aesthetically appealing homes, a sense of entitlement emerged, initiating an ugly and growing discontentment.

It was as if I’d forgotten all God had done—how He’d held my family together, kept us from debt, and provided for us at just the right time.

I had fallen into the same pattern the Israelites had, after God miraculously freed them from slavery to Egypt, provided for them in the desert, and personally led them, by a pillar of fire by night and a sun-shielding cloud by day, to the Promised Land.

“They forgot what He had done—the great wonders He had shown them” (Psalm 78:11 NLT).

They forgot and became discontent, and their discontentment turned their hearts from God, from the One who saved them, the One who loved them, and who cared for them as a parent for their young.

There’s danger in forgetting. Or perhaps I should say, there’s incredible power in remembering all God’s done. It frees us from entitlement, keeps us humble, grateful, and I believe, surrendered with a heart that’s ready to receive whatever God has for us.

Let’s talk about this! Do you ever find yourself slipping into a sense of entitlement? Do you notice, when you do, that your discontentment and misery increases? What do you do to stay centered in gratitude and surrender? In what ways has God used life circumstances to purge the sense of entitlement from you? Share your stories, suggestions, and examples with us, because we can all learn from each other!

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Change can be uncomfortable; uncertainty, even more so. If we’re not careful, we can allow the uncertainties of change to paralyze us and keep us from experiencing the abundant life God promised. But no matter how often our circumstances shift, no matter what hurdles or roundabouts life throws our way, we can rest assured and move forward with confidence, because that which is most important, that which holds us most securely, will never change.   

Today as you read Mary Bowen’s devotion on the depth, truth, and permanence of God’s love, ask Him to help you rest in that–in who He is and who you are in Him. Because as we like to say at Wholly Loved Ministries, when we live wholly loved, everything changes.

God’s Never Changing, Unfailing Love

by Mary Bowen

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken. . .” (Isa. 54:10 NIV).

She giggles. “Mommy, the flowers keep changing!” Her smile grows as she rotates the kaleidoscope. With each turn of the tube, another captivating image melts away into a different one altogether.

Life is like a kaleidoscope, always changing. Here in Atlanta shoppers grumbled when long-established stores such as Rich’s, Blockbuster and Borders closed their doors, “gone with the wind.” Spring, summer, fall, winter – we like the variety of the seasons, but often chafe at the changes they bring. Just when we’re basking in balmy breezes, a cold wind freezes our picnic plans. And how do you dress when a chilly 50 degrees rises to 75 the next day?

As the weather fluctuates, so do our relationships. A shift here, a misunderstanding there, and the distance widens. Like the glass bits in a kaleidoscope, sometimes friendships change color; a rich, bright red slowly darkens to brown, while a dull grey connection can suddenly flash with shining silver. Changing circumstances affect us as well. If someone we love moves away, we feel a sense of loss. The ultimate separation, death, leaves us feeling empty and alone.

Can we keep our equilibrium on life’s emotional roller coaster? Is there anyone we can depend on not to let us down? What a relief to know that God’s love for us doesn’t change, because He Himself is immutable, or unchangeable. “I the Lord do not change,” God declares in Malachi 3:6.

Nothing reveals character like self-sacrifice. When God gave us His Son, He proved His love for us (Jn. 3:16). Jesus died in our place, paying the penalty we owed for our sin. “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us” (Rom. 5:5, BSB). Nothing can separate us from God’s love (Rom. 8:39). These truths anchor our souls in life’s sea of change.

One of my favorite hymns describes God’s unfailing love: “Loved with everlasting love/Led by grace that love to know. . . /In a love which cannot cease, I am His and He is mine.” (words by George Robinson). As we seek to know God better, He progressively reveals His personal love. In John chapter 15, Jesus declares His friendship. He is with us all the time, unlike any other relationship. Jesus’ name is Immanuel, or “God with us.” The Holy Spirit living within the believer keeps God near.

God knows and understands us better than any earthly friend. Psalm 139 describes in detail this intimate knowledge. God’s unfailing, personal love is our security. Though the kaleidoscope of life keeps turning, we can rest securely.

Let’s talk about this! When I was a young adult, I was perhaps the most insecure woman in all of Southern California (where we lived). I constantly worried what others thought of me, if I was doing enough or too much, if I was doing the right things or wrong. When things changed or an uncertainty hit, I fell into a panic! But the closer I grew to Christ and the more I learned to rest in His deep love, the more my confidence–in Him!– began to replace my insecurities.

When we recognize how deeply loved we are, as I said before, everything changes. I know now if I face a rough patch, God has allowed it to mold and grow me, and I can rejoice in that. If God challenges me to a difficult role or endeavor, I know He’ll go with me, equipping and empowering me. If I “fail” in some task, whatever it is, I know in reality I’ve done anything but as I have only Him to please, and He calls me beloved and adored. If others reject me, I know He never will. When I sin, rather than wallowing in guilt and regret, I know I can turn to Him and allow Him to work within me, making me more like the radiant bride He already sees me to be.

The challenge for each of us is to learn to live more deeply and consistently in God’s never-changing love, because that is where freedom is found. Join the conversation here, in the comments below, or on Living by Grace on Facebook.

***

Mary Bowen writes and edits for Grace Ministries International in Marietta, Georgia. For many years her articles and poetry have been published in newspapers, magazines and anthologies. She has worked as a reporter and freelancer, and served as an editor with the North American Mission Board.

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safetynetjpgLife is a lesson in trust. In choosing to fix our thoughts on God’s promises or obsess over our fears, concerns, and anxieties. We may feel as if we’re free falling, but as you’ll see when you read my friend, Toni Shiloh’s post, we never are. We’ve got a strong, sure, unmoving safety net. So if God calls you to jump …

Safety Net by contemporary romance author Toni Shiloh

Have you ever stood on the ledge of choice making and wished there was a safety net to catch you? It’s hard to overcome fear at times. We’re shown too many times the consequences when something goes wrong. For those of us who struggle with anxiety, worry, etc, making a decision and taking the steps to bring it into fruition can be particularly troublesome. We wish for a safety net. We want to know with 100% certainty, that God will make our choices a success.

And we’re always told we have to take a leap of faith. That there are no guarantees. It’s not something we want to hear. It’s not something that soothes anxiety. Well, today, I’m here to tell you, there is a safety net. God’s Word has shown us this, but it wasn’t until a recent sermon at church that it finally dawned on me.

trustprov30-5verseProverbs 30:5b, states, “He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him” (NKJV).

Y’all, our safety net is trust.

We should not be scared to trust in a God that has proven Himself over and over again. He is a God who makes promises He keeps. Not just any type of promises, but covenants that are unbreakable. Jesus shows us this when He establishes the new covenant.

“For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins” (Matthew 26:28, KJV).

We can trust God because He is TRUST.

 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by Me” (John 14:6 KJV).

We should trust that no matter what happens, it happens because God has our best interest at heart. Theretonisquote are no failures when we take a leap of faith, although the world may disagree. The world may see a person who lost their job as a failure, but God sees a person who is now free to pursue His pursuits. The world may see a person who is debilitated by chronic illness, but God sees a person who has made Him their strength.

Trusting in God frees us from the constraints that the flesh (and enemy) would put on us. Trusting in God allows our perception to finally match that of reality: God’s way. When fear comes upon us, when anxiety seeks to freeze us, we must:

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”  (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV).

God has you, so trust Him.

***

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Toni Shiloh is a wife, mom, and Christian fiction writer. Once she understood the powerful saving grace thanks to the love of Christ, she was moved to honor her Savior. She writes to bring Him glory and to learn more about His goodness.

She spends her days hanging out with her husband and their two boys. She is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and the local Virginia Chapter.

You can find her on her website.

Her latest release, Buying Love, a sweet romance that is receiving great reviews, is the first in her Maple Run series. Reviewers are calling this novel refreshing, engaging, with a much-loved heroine that is equal parts sassy and sweet and a hero MeezCarrie from Reading is My Superpower calls yummy.

 

blBuying Love:

Will money ruin everything?

Nina Warrenton is ready for the next step in her life plan—marriage, but there is one problem. No one has proposed! Taking matters into her hand, she places an ad in the newspaper hoping to entice a willing stranger. But when she begins to fall for the small-town chef, she realizes how much she wants him to love her and not her money. 

Dwight Williams needs fast cash to save the family restaurant. When he sees Nina’s monetary offer for a husband, he goes for it. He’s determined to save the legacy his dad left him, but can he let it go to prove his love for her?

 Can Nina and Dwight find true love, once money has entered the equation?

livingbygracepic-jpLet’s talk about this. How did Toni’s post speak to you? Is God asking you to step out, or perhaps to be still? Or maybe to view a situation through His eyes, knowing He is always working all things out for your good? Share your thoughts with us on Facebook at Living by Grace or in the comments below, because we can all encourage and learn from each other.

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jrlkfafz-4e-elijah-hendersonWe all have struggles. Challenges we must face, uncertainties we must embrace. And sometimes, in the pressing forward and the waiting, it can feel as if God isn’t listening. And in the silence, we may be tempted to think He doesn’t care. But as my guest shares in the following post, He does, and He’s given us marching orders in the middle of the tough. Or should I say, resting orders … 

Waiting Well by Dr. Leslie Parker Umstattd

Over the past two years I have been sick. You wouldn’t know it to look at me on most days. Most days I’m up before my kids, getting lunches fixed, working, and going about my daily life. I may look a little tired but most people don’t notice. If you asked me, I’d say “I’m fine” because to tell you what has transpired over the last two years would be too much for a five-minute conversation.

There are days when I simply wanted to feel better, and in my mind I wasn’t asking for much. I’d cry out to God wondering why in the world this was happening but it felt like He was deaf to my tears, my suffering, and even my anger. I was frustrated at myself for getting sick and God for not taking it away. I read, I prayed, others prayed, and still nothing. Then finally, His answer–Wait!

I didn’t get there overnight and some days I don’t rest here but for today, I can rest well knowing that God is bigger than whatever is wrong with me and whatever my diagnosis turns out to be.

So waiting well sounds good, but how? How do I wait well when I feel lousy and I’m having a bad day? How do I wait well when I become frustrated at insurance and uncaring doctors? How do I wait well when it seems my cries to God for relief from the pain or just an answer seems to go unanswered? How do I wait well when I know that God could heal me if He wanted to but doesn’t?

I don’t claim to have all the answers but I can share five things God has taught me thus far. Waiting well isn’t easy but it is something that God calls us to do, just ask Abraham or Noah, maybe Esther or David, or even Jesus. All of these people had to wait on God’s plan to unfold.

lesliequoteone1) Realize it’s okay to question and get angry—just don’t stay there! Sometimes this is hard because there’s a very real struggle in keeping perspective when you are lonely, exhausted, in pain, or generally depressed. The emotions of the moment take over and judgement is clouded. Remembering the truth of what I know doesn’t negate my feelings but it tempers them long enough for me to gain perspective. The only real truth I know is God’s Word which leads me to number two.

2) Your lifeline as a believer is the Word of God. It is the only true and righteous place to find comfort and peace in times of wondering, wandering, and waiting. Scripture doesn’t always have specifics for every situation but it does have guiding principles for all situations. I know what God’s word says about waiting on Him. This is nourishment for an emaciated soul that doesn’t understand or needs to be quiet in times of chaos or simply needs direction in times of waiting.

3) Don’t be afraid to ask for help. As believers we are a community and there are brothers and sisters in Christ who desire to minister to you. Don’t steal that blessing. (P.S. I fail at this often!) There are others who are walking in this life with you and desire to be a part of what is going on in your life. Pick and choose wisely who these people are going to be for you. Believers whom you trust can serve you well in your wait. Whatever we are waiting on, someone has walked this road before and it is easy to forget that in the moment.

4) Keep doing! -don’t allow whatever you’re waiting for to stagnant your ministry or your life. God has created you for lesliesquote2something, allow Him to keep working in your waiting. Whether you are waiting on a diagnosis, a spouse, or a different pay check God is fully aware. Situations don’t determine your usefulness to God. He can use you, just the way you are-just where you are. With that said, a new season or situation brings about opportunity and sometimes in ways you never expected.

The last thing for me is sometimes the hardest, next to asking for help.

5) Keep an eternal perspective. Romans 8:28. “All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord.” This is our hope that there is more than just the waiting. God is ALWAYS doing something. Keep in mind it may not be what you expected or even what you wanted but He is doing something in your or in someone else that is watching you.

Be reminded and encouraged He is faithful even in the waiting, allow Him to work and move, and don’t allow what you are waiting on to steal your first love. In your moments of waiting, take heart that God has never left you there.

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16523735_10154246558168093_1704661183_oDr. Leslie Umstattd was born and raised in Alabama with her high school years being spent in Fairfax, VA. She graduated from the University of Alabama with a business degree. While there, God called her into full time ministry so she moved to Texas to go to seminary after graduation. She graduated from Southwestern Seminary in Fort Worth with my Masters in Religious Education and Marriage and Family Counseling and also met her husband there. They’ve been married for fifteen years and have two beautiful daughters, Ashtin is 13 and Jordan is 10.

After graduation from seminary, she worked in the public and private school sector as an elementary teacher until she moved to Kansas City. After moving to Kansas City, she completed my DEdMin at Midwestern Seminary. She’s been teaching and doing online development work for Midwestern for several years and serves at her local church on staff as the Children’s Ministry Director and heading up their women’s ministry. A couple of times a month she guest writes for a women’s devotional blog, Gracefully Truthful.

Let’s talk about this! Are you in a time of waiting? If so, which of Leslie’s suggestions resonated with you most? If you’ve livingbygracepic-jpcome through a time of waiting, do you have any advice to share with others who might be in a tough and uncertain season? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below or at Living by Grace on Facebook, because we can all encourage and learn from each other.

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