Comparison. I’m pretty sure we all do it. But this toxic tendency also tends to increase our insecurity, misery, and can make us feel as if the Lord loves others more than us. Today’s guest, Dr. Michelle Bengtson, offers a much more hopeful, and encouraging practice able to turn our competitions into celebrations.

Why did God open those doors for her and not me? What did she do that I didn’t, to deserve the picture-perfect family? Why have her books been more successful than mine? Those are the sneaky thoughts that filter into my unguarded mind, like sand into my sandals even weeks after leaving the beach. It’s not something I’m proud of…it’s embarrassing. But the enemy knows how to distract me from my identity, the source of my worth, and my calling: comparison and jealousy. Maybe you can relate.

Jealousy sneaks into our hearts in subtle ways. We scroll through social media, see the successes of others, and feel that quiet sting of comparison. Without realizing it, we begin to question God’s goodness, wondering why we don’t have what others do. But here’s the truth: jealousy shifts our focus from what we have to what we lack. In contrast, gratitude turns our hearts back to the abundant blessings God has provided.

One powerful way to overcome jealousy is to cultivate a heart of gratitude and contentment.

Paul’s words teach us that contentment doesn’t come from having it all; it comes from a grateful heart that recognizes God’s sufficiency in every season. “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content…I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound”. (Philippians 4:11-12 ESV)

When we actively look for things to thank God for, we invite Him to transform our mindset. Instead of longing for someone else’s story, we start cherishing our own. After all, God’s plan for each of us is unique and purposeful. The moment we start to count our blessings, we see how He has equipped us with all we need for our own journey.

Thank God for His specific blessings. When we focus on what we’re grateful for, jealousy loses its grip. Through gratitude, God shifts our perspective from comparison to contentment. Then we see that what God has given us is not only enough but abundant.

In what ways does jealousy threaten your peace?

How will you choose gratitude today, allowing God to fill you with His peace and contentment?

Father, help us to be grateful for all you’ve done and who you are, knowing you are sufficient for every need. Amen.

Get to Know Dr. Michelle:

Dr. Michelle Bengtson is the author of the multiple award-winning books Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression, Hope Prevails Bible Study, and AWSA Book of the Year: “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises. She is also the author of Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right, The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms, and Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise that Your Past is Not Wasted. She is the host of the top-rated podcast, Your Hope Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson. Her ministry’s goal is to restore hope, renew minds, and empower others to live in their God-given identity, and she provides regular hope for her readers at DrMichelleB.com.

Catch her conversation with my cohost Carol McCracken on the Faith Over Fear podcast, episode titled “Finding God in Our Pain”.

Check out her latest release, Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted:

We all endure trials, pain, and hardship in this life. The enemy often uses those experiences to convince us that our brokenness disqualifies us from ever being used by God again–that we can no longer be a testimony because of our emotional or physical scars. The truth is, your past pain and brokenness actually serve as preparation for what God wants to do in you and through you, if you will but surrender to and trust in him.

In Sacred Scars, neuropsychologist and fellow sufferer Dr. Michelle Bengtson helps you

· understand suffering through a biblical perspective
· discover how the trials of your life serve a purpose
· reflect on the healing that God has accomplished
· comfort others with the comfort God has given you

Just as Jesus’s scars didn’t disappear after his resurrection, our scars tell our story and lend credence to our testimony of the love and power of God. If you are ready to turn your past pain into present comfort and future hope, let Dr. Bengtson be your compassionate guide.

Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.

How to Trust God When You Need a Miracle Faith Over Fear

When we experience intense pain and hardship, our view of God can shrink.  When circumstances overwhelm us, prayers seem unanswered and our suffering endures for any length of time, we may fear God isn't actually big enough to handle what we’re facing, or loving enough to do something about it. Singer, songwriter and author Tim Timmons, whose story is shared in MercyMe's Imagine 2, knows what it means to live with those types of questions. After receiving an incurable cancer diagnosis and being given five years to live more than two decades ago, Tim has learned to bring his grief, questions and uncertainty honestly to God. In this episode, Tim and Jennifer discuss what it looks like to trust a God who is bigger than our understanding and meet Him within the tension of pain and hope. They explore the intimacy that can develop through honest wrestling, why acknowledging grief doesn’t diminish faith and how shifting from “working for God” to joining Him can change the way we approach each day. Wherever life feels confusing or painfully unresolved, God remains present, attentive and at work. Scripture referenced: Genesis 32:22–32; Matthew 5:44; Matthew 16:24–25; Matthew 22:37–39; Mark 12:30–31; John 5:17; Romans 8:28; Malachi 1:6–14 Resource Referenced: Waking Up Again: A Journey of Grief & Gratitude Connect with Tim Timmons: On his website On Instagram On Facebook Find Jennifer Slattery: On her website Instagram Facebook Amazon Subscribe to her free newsletter Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. How to Trust God When You Need a Miracle
  2. Bonus: Saturday Scripture Reset: When You Feel Unloved By God
  3. Why It's Hard to Receive God's Love and Rest in His Delight
  4. How to Move Forward in Seasons of Grief
  5. Did I Hear God Wrong? What to Do When Your Calling Doesn’t Go as Planned

However strong you are, there’s always someone stronger. There’s always someone smarter, more talented, more patient… a better cook, a better parent, a better spouse. Surrounded by so many folks who are better than us in so many ways, how can we ever measure up???

DSC_0065Isn’t it nice to know we don’t have to? Today my sweet friend and Young Adult Author of Saving Yesterday, Jessica Keller, shares her thoughts on this ugly and self-defeating game of comparison.

Note: Jessica is giving away a free copy, print or kindle, of Saving Yesterday. Winner will be randomly selected from the comments left on this post. 

***

“For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” -2 Corinthians 10:12

I’m going to come right out of the gate with a shocking confession for you—sometimes I compare myself to others and really find myself lacking. The situation changes, but the same thought still nags at the back of my mind. You don’t quiet measure up.

Have you been there?

The internet doesn’t always help this feeling. Pinterest tells me I’m not creative enough. Etsy says I’m not industrious enough. Facebook tells me I’m not liked enough. And Twitter says not that many people want to follow little old me.

It’s so easy to wander into the land of “if only” when these thoughts start to hound us. If only I were smarter. If only I if only I were...had more energy. If only I had more money. If only—then I’d feel confident and secure in who God made me to be.

In my book Saving Yesterday, the heroine Gabby Creed really struggles with this. She’s tossed into a world where everyone else knows all the rules and she’s making mistake after mistake. She just wants to belong—to be like them, all the while forgetting that she’s created special and different for a purpose.

We can all take heart because we’re not alone in these thoughts. In fact, the very first woman we meet in the Bible struggled with this too. From the moment God breathed life into Eve she knew her position as a child of God and the highest point in creation. She was surrounded by love from God and a man who adored her (Adam was pretty excited when she was created). Eve had what every woman longs for—love, intimacy, purpose, and significant. Pretty amazing, huh?

Even still, all it took was a whisper reminding her what she wasn’t and what she didn’t have for her to feel insecure. The serpent only had to say once that Eve could have more and be more if only God didn’t hold out on her—that’s all it took for doubt to take root and doubt almost always turns into poor choices.

If Eve in her ideal situation couldn’t help but measure her life against an absurd ruler that didn’t even exist—what hope do we have? Plenty. Know what would have changed everything in Eve’s situation—and can change us? Instead of focusing on who we are not and what we don’t have—flip that—and focus on who we are in Christ (a child of God) and what we have (a relationship with Him, keys to the Kingdom, an eternity spent worshiping the one true God).

You are loved beyond measure and understanding.

Jessica Keller holds degrees in both Communications and Biblical Studies. She is multi-published in both Young Adult Fiction and Romance. You can find her at www.JessicaKellerBooks.com, on Twitter @AuthorKeller, or on her Facebook author page (www.facebook.com/jessicakellerauthor)

SavingYesterday_CVR_MEDSaving Yesterday:

Her blood holds secrets she never knew existed.

Despite the fact that she acts as a parent to her alcoholic father, Gabby Creed feels pretty normal. But her life is turned upside-down on her seventeenth birthday when a bracelet appears on her wrist and sucks her back through time.

Turns out she’s not even a little bit normal. She’s a Shifter—a protector of humans and of history itself. And she’s not alone. The other Shifters believe Gabby is special, even more special than the mysterious Michael Pace. Oh, and the Shades—seriously creepy creatures who feed off of human despair—are determined to capture her.

It’s all a lot to absorb. So Gabby’s grateful to have Michael as her Trainer—or she would be if she could get her rebellious heart under control. Then again, if the rumors about her blood are true, saving yesterday will be the least of her worries.

Purchase it here: on Kindle and print.

Let’s talk about this! I’m pretty sure we all play the comparison game. We measure ourselves against what we “see”. The ironic thing is, we only see or hear the soundbites, the highlights, not the hidden struggles. In fact, that very person we compare ourselves to may livingbygracepic.jpbe comparing themselves to us! Oh, to see ourselves as Christ sees us: transformed, redeemed, immensely loved and set on a trajectory for eternal greatness. If we’d but take our eyes off everyone else and re-center them squarely on Christ, this journey toward growth and transformation would be so much easier!

So how do we do that? What are some ways you’ve successfully battled this cancer of comparison? What verses make this easier? How does your relationship with Christ help with this? We’d love to hear about your struggles and successes. 🙂 Share your thoughts here in the comments below or at Living by Grace on Facebook.