Is it Okay to Question God in Our Grief- Guest post by Mabel Ninan

by Jennifer Slattery on November 30, 2023November 29, 2023

Is it OK to Question God in Our Grief?

by Mabel Ninan

I watched the news on TV in shock and horror on October 7, 2023. Hamas terrorists attacked and brutally killed Israelis in their homes and took several people, including children, as hostages. Within a few days, Israel retaliated by hunting down terrorists in Gaza through relentless airstrikes. Thousands of innocent Palestinians lost their lives, and many were displaced from their homes. After a week or so, I couldn’t take in any more information about the war. My heart was heavy. Human suffering and senseless violence drove me to my knees. But questions filled my prayers . Why didn’t God defend these children? Why didn’t He intervene or prevent this unspeakable tragedy? I was angry, confused, and frustrated.

I wonder if you ever questioned God or doubted your faith when you tried to make sense of the devastation you witnessed, whether it was violence perpetrated by evil men or destruction caused by natural disasters. Or, you may have struggled to find words to pray when you experienced great suffering or loss. You may have failed to comprehend God’s intentions and perceived inaction.

When our grief or pain becomes unbearable, we can doubt if God is really in control and if He cares about us. Sometimes, such questions can lead to more troubling questions. What kind of Christian am I if I doubt God? Is my faith weak? Am I a hypocrite for going to church and serving God while unsure of His power and goodness?

Expressing our sorrow or confusion to God is called lamenting and it is neither unholy nor un-Christian. Lamenting is a healthy and a perfectly normal way to process our pain.

It’s also biblical to pour out our raw emotions, including mourning, to Him. Almost a third of the Psalms are laments. The biblical books of Job, Jeremiah, and Lamentations contain prayers or poetic expressions of sadness and inner turmoil written by people of God. Elijah, an Old Testament prophet, became afraid and disappointed when an evil queen named Jezebel threatened to kill him and he cried out, “I’ve had enough, Lord. Take my life.” (1 Kings 19:4). His prayer reveals that even the strongest Christian can reach a point where they lose hope.

David, ancient Israel’s second king and a hero of faith, questioned God when he felt alone and betrayed, when he ran for his life, faced intense suffering, and on numerous other occasions. In Psalm 22:1-2, he wrote – “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.” Jesus uttered David’s words as He hung the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46 NIV).

We can learn from David, Jeremiah, Job, and other biblical heroes, and from Jesus, how to articulate grief when we are hurting. The loss of a child, chronic illness, or a messy divorce, for instance, can cause unimaginable pain. Sometimes, seeing others hurt saddens us. When adversity makes us mad or causes us to wonder if God exists or listens to us, we can pour out our hearts to our Father who understands. Scripture states, “Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.” (Lamentations 2:19 NIV)

The healthy way to process our anguish is to do so in God’s presence. We can be confident that God understands our pain and won’t judge us when we express our deepest feelings to Him. God isn’t surprised by our doubts and won’t condemn us for our honesty. He sees our brokenness and comprehends our inner angst..

Lamenting doesn’t show lack of faith. Rather, we exhibit faith when we cling to God’s side even when engulfed in doubts. Lamenting at God’s feet demonstrates our dependance on Him and our confidence in His care. Lamenting reveals our hope in His promises to deliver us.

Spending time expressing our pain before His throne clarifies our view of Him and gives us perspective. His love, faithfulness, and sovereignty come into focus, prompting us to praise God. Consider David’s words, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Ps 42:11).

As we spend more time with Him, a mysterious transaction occurs. He trades our pain for His peace. As we look to Him with tear-filled eyes, He directs our attention toward His unchanging character and promises. A flicker of faith can become a flame. Hope can return. Lamenting may not clarify all our questions, but it builds our faith, draw us closer to God, and puts us on the path toward healing and restoration.

Reflect: Are you going through a hard time right now? How can you honestly express your feelings to God?

Get to Know Mabel Ninan

Mabel Ninan is an author, speaker, and host of the podcast, Far from Home with Mabel Ninan. An immigrant from Hyderabad, India who has lived in seven cities across the U.S. in fifteen years, she navigates between cultures, feeling at home everywhere and nowhere. Her debut book, Far from Home: Discovering Your Identity as Foreigners on Earth, won the Christian Market Book Award for 2022 Christian Living Book of the Year. She has been a contributor to Guideposts’ All God’s Creatures: Daily Devotions for Animal Lovers since 2022. An award-winning writer, Mabel’s articles have appeared in Upper Room, CBN.com, LeadingHearts.com, Arise Daily, and (in)courage.me.

Mabel served in youth ministry in her church in India for more than ten years. In the U.S., she has been a leader with Bible Study Fellowship since 2012. She is currently pursuing M.A. in Theological Studies from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and lives in San Jose, CA, with her husband, twelve-year-old son, and a Maltese. Connect with her at mabelninan.com.

Check Out Her Latest Release, Far From Home:

In Far from Home: Discovering Your Identity as Foreigners on Earth, Mabel draws from her personal experience as an immigrant and examines the lives of biblical heroes to shed light on how we can find purpose and joy as sojourners on earth.

Let’s talk about this! What resonated or intrigued you most about Mabel’s post?

How Scripture Helps Quiet Fear – Faith Over Fear

Our world provides numerous reasons for us to feel uncertain and afraid. But Scripture tells us we have an even greater reason to live courageously. We have an all-powerful, loving, faithful God who watches over us, wants the best for us, and has the power to bring that best to pass. In this episode, Bible teacher Mary DeMuth shares a unique approach to Scripture that has greatly helped her experience decreased fear and increased peace. (Scroll down for discussion/contemplative questions) Recommended Resource: 90-Day Bible Reading Challenge: Read the Whole Bible, Change Your Whole Life Connect with Mary DeMuth: On her website On Instagram On Facebook On her Amazon Author Page Connect with Jennifer Slattery: Find Jennifer Slattery: On her website Instagram Facebook Amazon Subscribe to her free newsletter Find Wholly Loved: On their website Join the private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group Join the Private Wholly Loved Community Facebook Group Discussion/reflective questions: What resonated with you most in this episode? What most challenges your Bible reading time? When you do read Scripture, how does this impact your understanding of God's nature, heart, and plans? How can knowing God better help decrease our fears? In this episode, Mary DeMuth encourages readers to read Scripture looking for common threads (such as boldness versus fear). What thread might you find most helpful to look for? What anxiety-increasing activity could you replace with Bible reading or listening to Scripture through a podcast? What is one action step God might be asking you to take having listened to this episode? Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

When Hard Times Cause You To Question Your Faith — Guest Post

by Jennifer Slattery on August 15, 2019November 1, 2021

Everyone has moments of doubts. Some of us have years and even decades of wrestling with deep truths and what we’ve learned about God. But as I often say, doubts don’t so much cause the cracks in our faith as they reveal them. They show us false beliefs, misconceptions, and lightly held truths. In other words, our doubts, when presented honestly to God, when we seek Him and His answers, can pave the way to certainty. Read more from my guest today, Marla Bautista, to see what I mean.

When Hard Times Cause You to Doubt Your Faith

By Marla Bautista

I’ve doubted God, a lot. When my life was at its lowest, I had nothing. I was homeless, broke, and without support from family or friends. I didn’t understand why God allowed me to suffer and wouldn’t alleviate my pain. I was sure He’d left me alone in the world. I spent many nights on the streets, searching for who I was supposed to be, for hope, and ultimately, for peace. I stopped going to church and reading my Bible because I felt abandoned.

Have you ever felt this way?

Yet God promises to remain with us, to help us, and to strengthen us. Isaiah 41:10 reads,: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (ESV).

My life hasn’t been easy. Both my parents passed away before I turned ten years old. I was left with an abusive stepfather. I experienced sexual, emotional, and mental abuse throughout my childhood. I ran away from home many times. Taking my younger brother and sister, I sought refuge from someone, somewhere, to no avail. At the age of 18, I became homeless. I was confused, alone, and scared. I constantly asked myself what I did to deserve the life I received. When I went to church, I was prayed over and ministered to, but I left; homeless, still hungry, and still hurting.

While on the streets, I saw and did things that were far from God’s desire. I was lost. I attempted to restore myself. I struggled. Some days, I didn’t have a place to sleep, others, I slept in a jail cell. Many nights I cried out to God, begging for forgiveness, safety from harm, and most of all, mercy. But I lacked faith that God truly cared for me or wanted to restore me.

Over time, I fell into despair. I no longer believed God heard my prayers. Yet, along my journey, there were signs that He did. I was walking down a street one day, hungry, and in tears. I prayed, “God please, I’m hungry. If You can hear me please help me.” As I walked hopelessly for miles, I felt defeated. Later that day, something told me to reach into my pocket. I did and pulled out two dollars. Initially, I felt scared. I’d had those Jeans on for three days. If there was any money in the pockets, I would have known. Jesus, thank You, I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.

In that moment, God began to restore some of my trust in Him.

Having doubt doesn’t mean you don’t believe in God. It means you’re uncertain about your faith. When things occur that we don’t understand, we question them. Our faith is no exception. If you’re in a period of spiritual wrestling, take it as an invitation to get to know God through Scripture.

Throughout the Bible, it speaks about the restoration of faith through prayer, fasting, and obedience. God invites us to seek Him, then to hold tight to His response when He gives it. James 1:6 reads:

“But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind” (NIV).

I saw this truth played out in my life.

God revealed that He was always with me. He kept a hedge of protection over my life, even in the worst of times. I’m here today only because of His love. He continues to restore me and has equipped me to use my testimony to prove his undying love, and unfathomable mercy toward His children. He will do the same for you.

Are you experiencing a season of doubt? If so, I challenge you to submerge yourself in prayer for seven days. Ask God to reveal Himself and His purpose for you. Study Scripture, take your doubts to God in prayer, and most importantly, obey what He reveals when you read the Bible.

Let’s talk about this! Can you share a time when God met you in the middle of your doubts? What are some ways God has shown Himself real to you? Or maybe you’re struggling right now. What do you most need to hear from God?

Get to know Marla!

Marla Bautista a Military Spouse and mother of three children. She is also the published author of My Thoughts Abandoned, released in 2017. As a freelance writer and blogger, she has written for many publications. Her passion is giving back to people in need. Marla is the Founder of The Bautista Project, a custom décor and apparel company, which uses its profits to provide for homeless communities. The Bautista Project has provided food and basic living essentials to hundreds of people in need.

Visit her online at her website, connect with her on Facebook, and follow her on Instagram.

If you’re going through a difficult time, especially if you’re in a period of waiting, you may find this video, taken from the Becoming His Princess Study, helpful.

I also invite you to check out Wholly Loved’s Bible app, 30-Days to Emotional Health, available on YouVersion. Find it HERE. And make sure to join our online community by clicking the button below. Oh, and almost forgot: Only five days to release day! Keep an eye out for my next novel, Hometown Healing, releasing in Walmarts and B&Ns near you on the 20th! Woot!

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How Jesus Responds to Our Doubts

by Jennifer Slattery on February 7, 2019November 1, 2021

woman standing at dusk watching the sun set — Image by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

What happens when God doesn’t intervene? When circumstances grow worse, doors close, and illness lingers?

Is He still good?

Does He still love us?

Intellectually, we know sometimes bad things happen to good people, but sitting in the middle of chaos and catastrophe, doubts take hold.

A couple years ago, while on her first college coop, our daughter’s depression spiked. She did all the appropriate Christiany things. She went to church, read her Bible, meditated on Scripture, and prayed.

She prayed and prayed and prayed. And yet, her depression remained. And though she knew they were lies, comments she’d heard previously tore at her hope.

Just have faith, then your depression will go away.

Mental illness is a spiritual issue. If you’re close to Jesus, you’ll be happy.

Have Jesus, have joy.

It got to where going to church, the one place she was supposed to feel safe and find healing, increased her pain.

Made her feel less than. Insufficient. Unseen and unloved by her Creator.

But still she went, and one lonely Sunday morning, God met her there and gave her hope. Not that she’d get better, although with self-care she has. In fact, the sermon talked about times when God, for whatever reason, doesn’t intervene or heal. But whether we see His hand or not, He remains.

His love is unshakable.

That Sunday morning, in the middle of her depression, God let her know that she was okay. That their relationship was okay.

That He held her and wouldn’t let go.

We all need to know that, especially when life feels hard. We need to know that the One who formed galaxies by a mere command sees us and is alert to our suffering.

God doesn’t always act as we expect or even desire.

Imagine having given your entire life to serve Him, only to find yourself imprisoned and awaiting execution. Imagine the questions, the doubt, the intense inner wrestling.

The bursts of hope followed by crushing defeat and despair.

Just over two thousand years ago, a faithful prophet sat in a dark, dank dungeon. The stench of decomposing bodies, the cold that ate at his bones, wore down his courage and faith.

The man who first encountered Jesus from within his mother’s womb, who wept at the presence of the incarnate God, then a fetus. Who decades later proclaimed, with certainty, that He was “the lamb of God who took away the sin of the world” (John 1:29), the man who’d witnessed the Spirit landing upon Him like a dove and had heard the Father call Him His Son (Luke 3:22), feared, perhaps he’d been wrong.

Could it be Jesus wasn’t the long-promised Savior?

For surely, after all John had done, all he’d given up for the sake of Christ, God wouldn’t leave him in an ancient dungeon to die.

But as each day dragged into the next, without so much as a glimmer of light to distinguish them, John the Baptist’s certainty turned to doubt. In the confusion that can only come from deep pain, he sent one of his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are you the One who is to come, or should we expect someone else” (Matthew 11:3)

John knew about all Christ had been doing. Even more, he knew what He hadn’t done, and in that moment, the one unanswered prayer drowned out every miracle proclaimed.

But Jesus reassured him, not by promising his rescue but instead, by reminding him of who He was.

“Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen,” Jesus told John’s disciples. “The blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good news is preached to the poor” (Matthew 11:4).

In other words, “I’m still good, powerful, present, and in control.”

Then, immediately, Jesus spoke to the crowds, “I tell you the truth, of all who have ever lived, none is greater than John the Baptist” (Matthew 11:11).

This was how Jesus addressed John’s doubt. Not with anger or disgust or rebuke. But with reminders of His power and affirmation of His love.

He responds to our doubt in the same way. God may not answer our prayers as we’d like. He may not rescue us from that difficult situation or bring long-desired healing. But when we come to Him honestly with our doubt and despair, He’ll center us in who He is and His love for us.

How might remembering those truths strengthen you for difficult situations? How can focusing on who God is and His heart for you bring hope in the middle of despair?

This week, at Wildewood Christian, we’ve been talking about remaining faithful through disillusionment. Whenever life doesn’t play out as we’d hoped or expected, we can feel discouraged, defeated, and disillusioned. How might reminding ourselves of God’s love, often, help us during those times? If you’d like to watch the full session, filled with tips for weathering disillusionment periods with hope and grace, you can watch it on Wholly Loved’s YouTube channel HERE. If you don’t have the study but would like to grab a copy, you can do so for free HERE. You can pick up a print copy HERE.