(Copy edited by Aneah Epshteyn.)

Graphic with quote on wrestling with God and how He uses our wrestling to transform us.

(Image first used on March 31, 2022 in THIS post.)

Do we proclaim, “God’s ways are higher than mine” (Is. 55:8-9) too soon? While true, God never intended us to use this statement to silence our questions and numb our discomfort in painful situations. Not only does our faith grow exponentially during wrestling seasons, but our very willingness to engage reveals a depth of trust I’m certain touches our Father’s heart.

Only one secure in their mom or dad’s unconditional love can express their most anguished emotions, especially when they blame that parent for their pain. Those conversations, as excruciating as they might feel, can lead to deeper relationships. In pushing past surface niceties to the most hidden places in the soul, they forge a connection not experienced otherwise.

Parenting an adult child profoundly elevated my appreciation for this holiest of struggles. When my daughter left for college, her physical distance and maturity widened her view of me, my parenting, and how both had affected her. She came to realize that I possessed flaws and that they’d caused her pain. In the years following, she shared some of these wounds with me in conversations we both found excruciating.

I imagine there were many times she debated keeping silent. There were certainly numerous occasions in which I wished she had! At least, in the moment. Standing on the other side of that uncomfortable and healing season, I’m grateful for her courage because I’ve witnessed the converse. I’ve watched other young adults and their parents grow increasingly distant due to unresolved hurts that remained undisclosed, out of fear.

While I can’t speak to other people’s motivation, I can share what my daughter told me one afternoon not long ago. “You were always a safe person for me to come to,” she said.   

I take this to mean that she knew, even when I didn’t always react well in the moment, that I would always reach for her. Just as, through those raw and frightening conversations, she was reaching for me.

These were my thoughts as I contemplated the words of Habakuk, the Old Testament prophet living during a dark period of ancient Israel’s history. Granted, unlike me, our Heavenly Father is always the perfect parent. But that doesn’t mean His kids won’t respond to His actions with intense emotion. In Habakuk’s dialogue with God, we see a courage and trust that drove him straight to his Father, and the unconditional, healing love that met him there.

The prophet launched this lyrical discussion asking God how long He’d remain silent to his cries for help and tolerant to violence and injustice. The Lord responded by the foretelling of Babylon’s invasion. Increasingly distraught, Habakuk said, in essence, “How could You, the Holy One, do such a thing?”, adding in chapter two: “I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what He will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint” (v. 1, NIV).

I envision him with feet planted and arms crossed, determined not to drop the matter until the Lord responds. Does that seem brazen? Were we to encounter similar behavior from a brother or sister in Christ, would we view their words as rebellion? Or the raw expression of an anguished child to the one Person whose comfort they most crave?

Graphic with quote from post. Christ is always our safe place.

The book of Habakuk assures us that Christ is and always will be our safe place. When we live in that reality, as the prophet did, we reach a firmer understanding that, indeed, God’s thoughts and ways are higher than ours. We reach a place of greater trust where we also can say, no matter what happens, “I will rejoice in the Lord … The sovereign Lord is my strength” (Hab. 3:17-19, NIV).       

Let’s talk about this! When you think of wrestling with God, what feelings arise? What are your thoughts regarding Habakkuk’s interactions with the Lord? How can allowing ourselves to wrestle with God lead to deeper faith and relational intimacy with the Lord?

Before you go, did you know Faith Over Fear now has a GodTube channel? You can find it HERE!

How to Move Forward When Life Hurts Faith Over Fear

When life takes a devastating turn, our pain can begin telling us things about God, ourselves and our future that simply aren’t true. Author and pediatric nurse practitioner Jackie M. Baker understands this firsthand. After losing her son Sebastian to suicide, Jackie faced profound grief, questions about what she could have done differently and the painful realization that she couldn’t control the choices or outcomes of those she loved. In this episode, she shares how God taught her to release control, challenge the lies grief whispered and trust Him when life looked nothing like she had hoped. Jackie and Carol also discuss the unexpected losses many of us grieve—from relationships and careers to health, dreams and expectations—and how suffering can distort our identity and trap us in regret. Jackie shares practical ways God carried her forward, including Scripture, prayer, supportive relationships and daily routines, and explains why moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting what—or whom—we’ve lost. Most importantly, she reminds us that even when we can’t see light ahead, God remains with us in the darkness, offering a hope rooted in His presence rather than a particular outcome. Featured Book: Messy Mourning: Hope for Mothers Grieving the Loss of a Child by Suicide Bible Passages Discussed or referenced: Genesis 22:1–18 , Matthew 7:24–27, Hebrews 13:5, Philippians 4:8, 2 Corinthians 12:9–10  Today's Guest, Jackie M. Bake,r is an author, pediatric nurse practitioner, wife and mother whose life and faith were profoundly impacted by the loss of her son, Sebastian, to suicide. Drawing from her personal experience with grief and her professional healthcare background, Jackie encourages others to find hope and move forward through life’s most painful seasons. She is the author of Messy Mourning: Hope for Mothers Grieving the Loss of a Child by Suicide and is passionate about helping hurting people recognize they aren’t alone and discover strength and hope in Christ. Connect with Jackie M. Baker On her website On Instagram On Facebook Follow her work on Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. How to Move Forward When Life Hurts
  2. Did I Hear God Wrong? What to Do When Your Calling Doesn’t Go as Planned
  3. Overworked: How to Find Rest in Your Good Shepherd
  4. How to Find Lasting Peace in God's Unchanging Nature
  5. How to Heal When Emotional Pain Won't Go Away

Ispontaneous I’m not. To put it mildly. I love lists and ten-to-twenty year plans with each step of the journey mapped out. Funny how life has a way of turning my game plan upside down. Or should I say, it’s glorious how God has a way of turning my best-laid plans upside down, because from red light to detour, He’s continually reminding me, it’s not up to me. Praise God for that!

JenHToday my very dear friend, Jennifer Hallmark, shares her thoughts on closed roads and detours, reminding us to keep our eyes above the smog.

Red Lights, Detours, and Closed Roads by Jennifer Hallmark

 

Have you ever been late for an appointment? Me too. At times, I haven’t given myself time to drive the distance, but this wasn’t my fault. I ran into red lights, detours, and closed roads.

My daughter had a follow-up doctor appointment after an ER visit. We left in time to arrive at the specialist, an hour and ten minute trip.

We drove through Decatur, getting stopped at every red light. Then came road construction and we were detoured into one lane. Twenty minutes to drive two miles. My daughter called the doctor to mention we’d be late. The receptionist told her if we were more than fifteen minutes late, we’d have to reschedule. I hurried when I could, and made up for lost time on the interstate. We were at exit seven when I saw the sign. Exit closed. Mandy called her husband and he said take exit nine. We could still make it.

After we took exit nine, we had no idea how to get to the doctor’s office. As I drove the main strip, nothing appeared familiar. Three calls to the receptionist later, we found the office, twenty minutes late. They let us keep our appointment. Whew!

As we sat in the waiting room, I penned this article. My daughter rolled her eyes, but hey, why waste a stressful moment when you can write about it?

How many times have we been headed in the right direction, but ran into red lights, detours, and closed roads? Red road-closed-sign-2-1003255-mlights are times when we try to push through, only to stop. Go. Stop. Go.

You sign up to volunteer in the nursery on Sunday. The first day, you and the children are blessed. The next day you’re on the schedule, you wake up with the stomach virus, stay home and battle guilt. The next time your own child has the stomach virus. You ponder. Am I supposed to volunteer? The doubts begin. This is a red light, not a closed road. Go ahead and pray, but stay committed. Don’t quit the nursery because it’s too hard.

Detours happen. A lane is closed. You are pointed to an unfamiliar road around the construction. I don’t like unfamiliar roads, so my reaction can be fear. Should I turn around and go home?

The co-worker you carpool with changes jobs, so you need a new rider. She mentions another lady, but you don’t know her. A detour. Don’t let fear keep you from making a new friend and the possibility of sharing your faith.

A closed road can cause you to re-evaluate your destination. Can I still get there? We can’t imagine another way, so we quit and head home. Stop. The new way could lead to something better. Remember exit nine? On traveling this way, I noticed the place we hold our writer’s meetings and a new avenue to arrive there. The closed exit became an unexpected blessing.

I wrote a story for a Christian magazine, then it shut down. I held onto the story until a new door opened through a compilation of short stories. The projected magazine story would become part of a book.

The next time you encounter a red light, detour, or closed road, don’t despair. It might be God’s way of leading you to His purpose and plan for you.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55: 8-9, NKJV).

A DOZEN APOLOGIES FINAL FRONT COVERA Dozen Apologies:

Mara Adkins, a promising fashion designer, has fallen off the ladder of success, and she can’t seem to get up.

In college, Mara and her sorority sisters played an ugly game, and Mara was usually the winner. She’d date men she considered geeks, win their confidence, and then she’d dump them publicly. When Mara begins work for a prestigious clothing designer in New York, she gets her comeuppance. Her boyfriend steals her designs and wins a coveted position. He fires her, and she returns in shame to her home in Spartanburg, South Carolina, where life for others has changed for the better.

Mara’s parents, always seemingly one step from a divorce, have rediscovered their love for each other, but more importantly they have placed Christ in the center of that love. The changes Mara sees in their lives cause her to seek Christ. Mara’s heart is pierced by her actions toward the twelve men she’d wronged in college, and she sets out to apologize to each of them. A girl with that many amends to make, though, needs money for travel, and Mara finds more ways to lose a job than she ever thought possible.

Mara stumbles, bumbles, and humbles her way toward employment and toward possible reconciliation with the twelve men she humiliated to find that God truly does look upon the heart, and that He has chosen the heart of one of the men for her to have and to hold.

The twelve authors contributing to this project are: Elizabeth Noyes, Fay Lamb, Marji Laine, Jerusha Agen, Theresa Anderson, Patricia M. Dyer, Jennifer Hallmark, Paulette Harris, Betty Owens, Phee Paradise, Debbie Roome, Debra Ullrick.

A Dozen Apologies also includes fun bonus materials that give readers an inside glimpse of the heroes, Mara, and the process of writing a collaborative novel.

Jennifer Hallmark is a writer by nature, artist at heart, and daughter of God by His grace. She loves to read detective fiction from the Golden Age, watch movies like LOTR, and play with her two precious granddaughters. At times, she writes.

Her website is Alabama-Inspired Fiction and she shares a writer’s reference blog, Writing Prompts & Thoughts & Ideas…Oh My! with friends, Christina, John, Ginger, Tammy, Don and Betty. She and Christina Rich share an encouraging blog for readers called The Most Important Thing.

Jennifer and her husband, Danny, have spent their married life in Alabama and have a basset hound, Max.

livingbygracepic.jpLet’s talk about this! When has a detour or road block turned into a blessing? How might remembering that moment help you during times of struggle or stress? Perhaps your locked in unmoving, bumper to bumper traffic now. If so, what might God be trying to tell you? How might your “stagnation” be a blessing? How might remembering His nature–His love, grace, wisdom, and power–give you peace during chaotic or discouraging times?

Join the conversation here or at Living by Grace on Facebook.

Other posts you might enjoy:

Don’t Be Discouraged!

Strength in the Struggle

Endurance Training

 

 

Today’s post comes from a fellow Living by Grace gal, Patty Wysong. I have to admit, patience isn’t my strong point. I like things quick and easy. When my husband and I were first married, I did the whole gourmet meal deal, but then the honeymoon phase wore off and life caught up, sending me searching for the “quick-and-easy” versions. I think I’d have a tendency to do the same in my Spiritual life, but thankfully, God is bigger than my wants and His love pushes past what’s comfortable to those things that are profitable. I imagine you could say the same. In fact, you might be marinating right now, feeling pickled and boxed in. Maybe you long for release and can’t image why God is taking so long or allowing that trial. But He sees you. He hears you, and He’s lovingly, carefully, attentively crafting you into the man or woman He created you to be, not the stale, mushy, microwaved version, but the five-star gourmet.

Gourmet People by Patty Wysong

In today’s instant society there are mixes and powders for everything, but the one that makes me snicker most is baby powder.  I can just see a little girl stirring water into baby powder and expecting a baby.

Life isn’t always instant though.  In fact, none of the great men of God were instant men—they were gourmet.  It was years after being anointed king that David finally took the position God told him he would have.  During those years he was basically made an outlaw by his father-in-law, yet he never became angry nor bitter about the amount of time that passed.  He did what God put before him, and he sought God’s leading constantly.  God used those years to better prepare David for the purpose He called him to.

There have been many times in my life that I felt I was going nowhere—simply treading water, and killing time.  But that’s not how it was.  God was using those times to prepare me, and He’s still preparing me.  Am I following David’s example of not becoming impatient or angry?  Am I seeking God’s next step for me and making myself available for His use?

Gourmet cooking is not a ‘just add water’ affair.  It takes time and energy and even special ingredients…I’d rather be God’s gourmet dish than my own instant generic-box-blahness.

 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.  “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9 (NAS)

Bio: Patty Wysong, a home executive with over 20 years of experience, homeschools three of her five children, but don’t let that fool you. She spends much of her time working on what God has placed in her hand: her keyboard. From the corner of her living room she writes inspirational fiction, devotionals, blog posts, and teaches online blogging workshops. You’ll also find her drinking kool aid from her china cup, preparing for the ladies Bible study she leads, and helping at their church.

Patty learned about blogs and blogging the hard way and now delights in teaching and helping others, sparing them that frustration so they can focus on what God has called them to do. Through her writing, Patty has found the extraordinary God in her ordinary life. You can find her at her blog: www.pattywysong.com/