(Note: This was taken and adapted from one of my Crosswalk Premium Devotional Videos. Used by permission.)

Do you ever find yourself rehashing past mistakes? Maybe your adult son or daughter has become enslaved to self-destructing behavior, and your mind keeps replaying all your parenting regrets. Or, maybe you’re trying to repair a marriage damaged from years of neglect and your heart aches for the relational intimacy lost.

As someone who’s been on a healing and growth journey for a long, hot minute–out of necessity!–I understand the sting of regret.

When I focus on my mistakes, or all I’ve lost due to the mistakes of others, however, I quickly land in a place of despair. When I instead focus on, and make much of, the love, heart, power, and grace of God, working in and through me, I’m filled with hope and the reminder that He excels at rebuilding the rubble in our lives—as He did with the ancient Israelites some twenty-five hundred years ago.

After seventy years of living in exile, due to their idolatry and wickedness, they had returned to their homeland in Jerusalem, which their enemies had reduced to rubble.

And so, by the miraculous hand of God, they began the task of rebuilding what, in essence, evil nearly destroyed.

Eventually, under leaders named Ezra and Zerubbabel, they rebuilt the Temple. This brings us to the time period recorded in the book Nehemiah, which chronicles when Nehemiah returned to Jerusalem to help the ancient Israelites rebuild the city’s walls.

They complete this massive undertaking in chapter 6 and the people and leaders are redistributed throughout the land—to avoid overcrowding in Jerusalem.

Once everyone was settled, Ezra, Nehemiah and the Levites gathered the people for a celebration and public reading of Scripture.

Hearing God’s word, the people became grieved by all the ways they’d dishonored the Lord, and as today’s passage states, began to weep. To which Nehemiah and the other religious leaders replied:

“This day is holy to the LORD your God. Do not mourn or weep.” For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law. Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

In other words, “Now is a time for celebration, not weeping, to praise the Lord for all He’s done to restore His people and their land.”

They encouraged the people to receive and celebrate God’s lavish and abundant grace.

May we learn to do the same. We can’t go back and undo or change the past, but we can rest in the redemption given us in Christ and move forward empowered by His Spirit at work in us.

We can learn to receive, and live deeply anchored in His grace, knowing that His mercies are new every morning, and He is, at every moment, rebuilding, repairing, and restoring what sin and our world’s evil threatened to destroy. In my experience, this is a lifelong process of bringing our hurts, insecurities and regrets to Christ, sitting in His presence and allowing His love to wash over us, and consistently choosing to His truths, such as that we’re His beloved children, to wash over us.

When Your Loved One is an Alcoholic or Addict Faith Over Fear

When someone you love is in recovery, the pressure can feel overwhelming. You want to say and do the right thing, hoping to prevent a setback, yet beneath that is a quiet fear that you might make things worse. In this episode, Carol talks with Caroline Beidler, author of When You Love Someone in Recovery, about how to walk alongside someone without losing yourself, addressing the tension many families feel between wanting to help and fearing they might hurt. Caroline reframes a powerful truth: God never asked you to control someone else’s healing. He invites you to love faithfully, set wise boundaries, and trust Him with what you cannot control. If you’ve been carrying guilt or living with ongoing fear, this conversation brings clarity on support versus enabling—and the freedom to love without trying to control the outcome. Resource discussed: When You Love Someone in Recovery: A Hopeful Guide to Understanding Addiction by Caroline Beidler Connect with Caroline Beidler: On her website On Instagram On Facebook Follow her writing on Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. When Your Loved One is an Alcoholic or Addict
  2. Bonus Episode: Faith in the Fire: When You Feel Betrayed by God
  3. Fighting for Your Heart When Suffering Pulls You Toward Despair
  4. Managing Anxiety with Christ and Practical Tools
  5. Bonus Episode: Trusting God When He Seems Silent and Faith Feels Weak

Picture of Ashley outside resting against a tree trunkHer greatest strength, the one that had enabled her to overcome incredible challenges, was not only being called into question but was condemned. It was our daughter’s first real job, her first time out of state, on her own. Really, her first steps into the world of adulthood. But a critical roommate turned what God intended for a blessing into months of rejection and pain.

And as I listened to her relay all her roommate had said and done, my anger and sorrow began to rise. Had we been discussing an issue of sin, then perhaps I could’ve understood. Even agreed with the young woman, encouraging my daughter to embrace truth as she attempted to grow in her faith and talents.

And perhaps had our daughter been home, surrounded by her friends, her support system, the criticism wouldn’t have cut so deeply. But there she sat, over 1,000 miles away, barely twenty years old and embracing a role many adults would find intimidating, and her every move, her every word, her very identity, was being challenged. To make matters more confusing, this other woman, who was older than my daughter, claimed to be a Christian, and often used Scripture to back up her condemnations.

“Mom, what’s wrong with me?” my daughter asked.

My response: “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Do not let her challenge the core of who you are. Those things that make you strong. That make you you.”

Though my daughter knew I was right, it was hard to shake off the insecurity her roommate triggered. Those inner lies that cropped up when life became hard and others acted ugly, lies that told her she was annoying or not good enough kept playing through her mind.

But my daughter kept pressing, kept praying, and kept going to work each day, refusing to cower to one woman’s faulty opinion. And over time, reality hit. She began to notice instances when her roommate was critical of others, belittled others behind their back, and viewed everyone and everything through a lens of judgment. This provided the context that allowed my daughter to see the situation more clearly.

She gained the wisdom necessary to shake off the rejection and move forward in godly confidence.

In Matthew 7:5, Jesus instructs us, when in relational conflict, to first remove the beam out of woman praying with text of quote pulled from articleour eye so that we can see clearly. In context, He’s addressing the person doing the judging, the person with a critical spirit, but I believe the general principle applies to both sides. So often, we have planks, whether pride, areas of deception, or wounds caused by past hurts, that distort our vision. Only God can see the situation clearly. Therefore, the best thing we can do, whenever conflict arises, is to seek Jesus. To ask Him to show us what’s really going on—our role and the other person’s.

When we do that, we may find, as my daughter did, that the issue isn’t about us at all. Other times, He may show us areas we need to change. Either way, by leaning into Him and seeking His wisdom, we step deeper into freedom and in situations like my daughter experienced, learn to move from rejected to deeply and wholly loved.

If this post encouraged you, pop over to the Wholly Loved website to watch a short video devotion on “shaking off the dust” of rejection. You can watch it HERE.

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