Amid Chaos
by Dr. Natalie Ford
When I opened the door to our home and stepped inside, I gasped at the sight. Clothes covered every inch of the living room. Socks littered the newly vacuumed floor I’d left that morning. Belts were hanging from the ceiling fan, and camping supplies were strewn all about. I raced for the phone to call 911. I couldn’t believe it!
“God, no! How could someone break into our home now?” As I reached for the phone, I heard music playing in the back room. I slowly crept toward the doorway when I saw my husband Michael flinging clothes out of drawers and tossing them across the floor. He had emptied every drawer, every closet, and every cabinet looking for some tool he had lost. Overwhelmed at what was happening, I cried, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
Surely he had some reason for this insanity! Now let me tell you, in moments like these, remembering that God works all things for the good of those who love him was not my first thought. In that moment, I became unglued. With a crimson face, I shouted words I could never take back.
Michael was the one diagnosed with mental illness, yet I was the one shouting like a maniac. I realized in that moment that I couldn’t go on living like this. Something had to change.
I didn’t even know what to pray for anymore. Life was so desperate. I began crying out to God much like the Psalmists. I yelled about how unjust my life was; I told him how angry I was that the man I loved had turned into someone I no longer recognized. I cried; I screamed, and then something began to change in me.
But in that dark moment, I began to learn that in my weakness, God truly is strong. When there seemed to be no hope, I knew that God was there.
My circumstances did not change after my outburst to God, but something within me did. God was with me that afternoon in my living room and he is with me now. He gave me peace in the midst of the chaos by reminding me that He was still in control and by reminding me that He saw my pain.
My grandmother always says, “God not only knows where you are going, but he also knows what it is going to take to get you there.” God sees what is ahead and He cares about our present. Imagine, God himself, the Holy Spirit, is praying on our behalf. Let that sink in. The Creator of the universe is actively praying for you and for me. He loves with an everlasting love and promises to help us in our weakness. We have hope because God is on the throne and he cares about every detail of our lives. He will never leave us nor forsake us. He is our Peace and our Hope!
The Sovereignty of God is what gives me hope for tomorrow—hope that today’s hurts are not in vain. They are preparations for the future. So, if you are going through your own time of suffering, draw near to God. Allow His presence to comfort you and give you peace.
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“For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Romans 8:24-26, NIV).
Get to Know Dr. Natalie Ford:
Dr. Natalie Flake Ford lives in the North Georgia Mountains with her husband, Jeff. Dr. Ford graduated from Mercer University with an undergraduate degree in political science. She later completed her master’s degree at Reformed Theological Seminary, and she earned a PhD in Professional Counseling from Liberty University. Dr. Ford is a licensed professional counselor at Northeast Georgia Christian Counseling, the International Member Care Coordinator at Helen First Baptist Church, and an adjunct professor at Liberty University. She has written three books, Tears to Joy, Seeking Answers, Finding Peace, and Grace-based Counseling. She leads a Survivors of Suicide support group, and actively works in suicide postvention research. You can learn more about Dr. Ford at her website, www.drfordwrites.com.
