I loved this devo by Gail Pallotta, posted on her blog on July 11th, because it reminded me of my life’s purpose. I was created to be an image bearer and a spark-ignitor. God’s desire is that people will see the love and joy in a Christian’s life and be drawn to the Joy-giver. And before I post Gail’s article, I’ll share a brief tie-in story. Over the Thanksgiving holiday my husband and I received a tax notice, with 30 days to respond. Needless to say, it freaked me out. Especially since I don’t know the first thing about taxes. Turned out, our accountant had forgotten to file a form (out of the plethora the IRS requires.) Only problem? Our accountant is seasonal and was unavailable. So, I tried to figure out the form myself. It was like reading Greek. So I called the city (where the form originated.) and was put on hold for an hour and a half. This got me nowhere, so I left a message. Then called our tax company to see if they could squeeze me in, ASAP, with another accountant.

The one day they had openings? Yesterday, when my schedule was already jam-packed. So, I cleared out an hour in my evening, left my family with a frozen pizza and headed to the tax office–not our normal office, but the headquarters, the only office open during off-season.

I got lost. Partially because I was on the phone with my dear friend Robin Prater, and partially because it was dark and I couldn’t see the street signs. When I got there, the accountant I was scheduled to see was behind, turning my quick visit into an extended stay. Sitting there fuming in my anxiety, frustrated with the time delay, and anxious to get home, I was given a choice: give into my sinful nature and make myself and the accountant miserable, or die to self and demonstrate the love and grace of Christ. Thank goodness God gave me an extra little dose of the Holy Spirit, because I chose the latter. Come to find out, the accountant’s mother had died the previous year, and this was her first holiday without her. And, it appeared she needed a friendly, non-judgmental, person to share with. When she finished sharing, I expressed my condolences and offered her a business card directing her to this blog where I hoped she’d get an extra dash of love. I shudder to think what pain I might have caused this poor dear woman had I given into my frustration.

So how does this relate to Gail’s article? Read it, then I’ll explain:

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My daughter and I love to bargain shop. But we browse more than we buy. Many times after we get inside a store and go to a particular display, we’re the only two people there. We pick up items and discuss them. If we really get interested in something, whether it’s clothing, cosmetics, accessories or gifts and books, we study it. If it’s a book, we make sure the print, pages and binding are intact. If it’s jewelry, and it’s supposed to have a necklace and earrings, we look to see if it has both. But this isn’t a piece about how to bargain shop.

Usually after we’ve been at a station for a while people flock around us. Then it’s extremely difficult to get to the merchandise. My daughter always asks, “Why is no one interested in this stuff until we start looking at it?”

I say, “I don’t know. Let’s look somewhere else, and they’ll leave in a little bit.”

One day my daughter complained to one of her friends about people in the stores rooting us out of our territory. Her friend said, “You probably appear very intense, so they think you’re looking at something of value. They want to make sure they don’t miss out.”

“Hmmm,” my daughter said, “I’d never thought of it that way.”

Later when I talked to her on the phone she said, “Mom, now I know why people run us away from the merchandise we’re trying to look at when we’re shopping.” Then, she told me about the conversation she had with her friend.

After I hung up the phone I asked myself, what if we were that intense over our worship and role as Christians?

John 13: 35, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Matthew 28: 19, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

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This holiday season, you are going to be given numerous chances to make the same choice I did last night. Maybe like Gail and her daughter, you’ll find yourself surrounded by bargain-hungry shoppers, jabbing impatient elbows into your sides and invading your peaceful perusal. Or, perhaps you’ll find yourself stuck behind a monstrous line, or someone will cut you off on the freeway. In those moments when selfishness threatens to rear its ugly head, you can either be a people-repeller or people-attracter. And on those days when the choice is hard, think ahead to eternity and remember what’s at stake. Kinda makes the choice a tad bit easier, doesn’t it.

Now you have a chance to help determine the top three posts for 2010. Every tweet, fb share, like and comment counts. If you liked Gail’s article, share it, tweet it, leave a comment, or “like” it. (And show her your support by visiting her blog. I guarantee you’ll be blessed.) Then at the end of our top 20 of 2010, I’ll tally up all the “votes” and reveal the top three.

A bit about Gail and her Clash of the Titles winning novel, Love Turns the Tide: 

After writing articles for years Gail recently published her first Christian romance, Love Turns the Tide. This fall an excerpt from that book won the internet Clash of the Titles contest. In 2004, the American Christian Writers Association named Gail a regional writer of the year. Her husband, Rick, says she’s the only person he knows who can go in the grocery for a loaf of bread and come out with the cashier’s life story. That’s probably because she inherited her mother’s love of people and enjoys talking to them. In her spare time she likes to bargain shop with her daughter.  Sometimes they try on garments so wrong for them, they laugh for fifteen minutes. When they finally find a treasure, they’re so pleased. Gail wants to write books of faith that show God’s love. She and Rick live in Georgia. Find out more about Gail and her writing at her personal blog, Peering Through Life’s Window, and her website, www.gailpallotta.com.

Love Turns the Tide:

Shattered by a failed romance and challenged by a new job, feature writer Cammie O’Shea dreads meeting Bill Collins, editor of The Sun Dial, a new newspaper in Destin, Florida. Still in pain from her heartbreaking split-up, she wants no new relationships. That’s why Vic Deleona turns out to be her real source of angst. She must interview the real estate developer to help get the paper off its feet. He thwarts her efforts to complete his article, arranges extra meetings and attempts to court her. She resists his advances. But mysterious break-ins occur at Cammie and her friend’s condos. When Cammie and Vic launch their own investigation into the vandalism, Cammie grows fond of him. In the midst of the confusion she gets an opportunity to return home to her old job. Will Vic solve the crimes and win Cammie’s heart or will she leave Destin?

 

Today’s going to be short and sweet because:

1) I’ve slammed enough posts on my subscribers over the past few days–which should have been a holiday. (But you know, if it spins through my head, it’s gotta come out eventually. Normally, sooner than later.)

2) It’s only Monday–7:30 am central time–and I’m already behind. lol

3) I don’t really have much to say, (wow, that’s a first!) but I do want to introduce you to my upcoming blog post challenge.

I’ve been on this intentional living kick for a while now, hopefully long enough to form new habits. With the new Year approaching, a fun idea started brewing. I wanted to close the year out with a bang to get us ready for a New Year–a year of change, intentionality, and continual forward progression as we walk hand-in-hand with our Savior.

So here’s the deal. During the month of December (starting tomorrow) I’m going to repost 20 of my favorite blog/devotions from 2010. These are not posts I’ve written, although you’re welcome to peruse my archives. These are articles written by others that have impacted, encouraged or challenged me in some way. Each day I invite you to share your thoughts. The top three article or devotion with the most comments, tweet, fb shares and “likes” will be announced, in descending order, on January 31st.

See you tomorrow!

If you’ve ever spent any time in the church nursery you’ve heard the words, “That’s mine!” and “Gimme!” fly out of more than a few cute little mouths. And quite honestly, it doesn’t bother you. You may not condone it. You’ll try to train against it, but it’s certainly not surprising. It’s all part of a child’s normal development as they go from a self-centered toddler to a well-adjusted, contributing adult.

At least, that’s the goal. We’re not going to talk about those members of our society who fall through the cracks and remain in that preschool classroom indefinitely.

According to Bill Hull, author of Jesus Christ Disciple Maker, the believer goes through a similar progression. We start with the “come and see” phase, inch towards the “come follow Me” stage and, hopefully, reach God’s ultimate goal–the “come and be with Me” stage.

Notice this progression in Jacob’s life. (Genesis 27-Genesis 32)

At first, Jacob appeared to have a “why should I care” attitude. God was a word used when it served his purposes, but nothing more.

In Genesis 27:20, Jacob acknowledged God, but didn’t own Him as his own. Responding to a question posed by his father Isaac, he said, “The Lord your God gave me success.”

Apparently, Jacob knew of God. Likely Isaac had spoken of Him on more than one occasion. Perhaps he’d even retold the time when God saved his life. And yet, it appears Jacob never gave Isaac’s God more than a passing thought. God was the God of his father. And when it suited him–like when he was trying to cover up his deceitful plan–he referenced God. But He didn’t seek after God or lay his life in God’s hands. (Curious as to the rest of the story? Read it here.)

I’d call this the infant stage. I don’t even think he’s reached the “come and see” phase. His curiosity isn’t even piqued–he’s way more focused on his sin at this point. Funny how sin has a way of blinding us to the things of God.

Many stay here, never moving forward. They’re stuck in the, “That’s great for you, but what’s in it for me?” stage, halting those potentially faith-building questions before they have a chance to arise. Using Christianity when it suits them, like when there’s a Christmas sale or office party, without ever tapping into its life-changing power.

Luckily, God doesn’t leave us in infancy forever. He’s focused on growth and a steady forward, or shall I say, upward, progression. Within a very short time, Jacob was forced out of his home and into the unknown. God placed Jacob in a place where he would hear Him–and need Him. A temporary wilderness, I suppose.

In Genesis chapter 27, Jacob’s mother told him to flee to Paddan-Aram where his uncle lived. In route, he encountered God. And because humans are dominated by their sinful, prideful, gimme nature, his first tentative steps were a tad bit selfish. To flip Hull’s “come and see” stage on it’s head, I’ll term this the “prove yourself to me, gimme” stage.

Notice what Jacob said in Genesis 28:20-22 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s household, then the LORD will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth.”

When I first read this I was like, “Cool. So Jacob gave his life to God.” But then I noticed all the “if, then” statements.

Jacob offered conditional obedience. “If you bless me, I’ll obey you.”

Bill Hull would probably call this the “come and see” phase–the point in a seekers life where God shows up again and again, demonstrating His love and power.

I call it the “gimme stage”. The terrible twos. Which are fine when you’re two, but eventually, you’ve got to move past the gimme’s to the “you got me’s”  (Unless you want to remain a toddler forever, which, some do.) But the gimme stage is one-sided, and although it might appear pleasant for awhile, it fails to supply what we need most–intimacy.

For the next 20 years, God “courted” Jacob. He blessed him, protected him from his uncles malicious tactics, and revealed His power and might. (If you want to read the whole story, go here.)

In Genesis 32, it appears that Jacob finally reached maturity. (Not perfection, mind you, but maturity.)

He moved past the gimmes to the “you got me’s.

Genesis 32:22-26 ” That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions.  So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

The Slattery translation? (With the help of a few commentaries I read.) “I cannot go on without you.”

What stage are you in? Are you in the “gimmes” or the “you can have me’s”? Has God become your Cosmic Genie or your dearest friend?

To be honest, I vacillate between the two. I imagine this will be a continual battle, one that requires frequent self-analyzation. Today? As I write this, I’m in the “you can have me.” Later, when my day spirals and that to-do list I thought I’d stay on top of gets the best of me, I’ll likely slide back into the terrible twos, but luckily God  continues to nudge me forward.

Love this song. I know I’ve posted it before, but it’s so true. After all Christ has done for us, there is no room for casual Christianity or intermittent obedience.

Yesterday I read a blog post about the “New Atheism”. The main point of the article was that atheists are becoming increasingly militant in their opposition to the gospel. This struck me as odd. To be honest, I didn’t find this new, or surprising. When I read the Bible, it seems there has always been violent opposition to the gospel. Truth has rarely been the popular choice. And yet, the answer remains the same–love. It is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance.

Just a gentle reminder as you begin your holiday preparations today.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”

And now for the Slattery translation:

Love endures long, boring stories retold year after year. Love doesn’t begrudge relatives with recent promotions, nicer cars and better behaved children. Love doesn’t compare pumpkin pie recipes, looking for that accolade. Love doesn’t tell jokes at others expense or laugh when derisive jokes are told. Love maintains self-control even when someone else stole the last drop of gravy. Love stands by their loved ones even when they’re actions make them appear unlovable. Love stands up for one another and refuses to catch a ride on the gossip wheel. Love sees the best in others despite their mistakes and continues to hold on even when it hurts. When everything else fails, love remains.

Of course, love without truth is not really love at all, but truth without love is deadly.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

 

This morning I received a phone call from my nephew. He’s four. At first, I thought it was a prank. Initially, all I heard was heavy breathing and a mumbled voice in the background. Apparently, it took a few seconds for him to get the nerve to speak. The background voice? That was my sister  coaching him. Telling him to talk…into a piece of plastic…to a woman she said was his aunt but whom he couldn’t see. Ah, to live in the head of a child!

But once he got going, he didn’t waste any time getting to the reason for his call. (I wish I would have taped it!)

“Thanks for the—what is the surprise for me and Abby?”

Apparently, my package had arrived.

I laughed, envisioning my giggly nephew prancing through the house, asking my sister again and again, “When can I open my surprise from Aunt Nenny? Please, please can I open it today?” (And no, you cannot call me that. That name is reserved for family members under the age of five.)

His enthusiasm sprinkled joy on my day. But as soon as I got off the phone, I picked it up again. To call a friend who wasn’t viewing the holidays with the same enthusiasm. A friend who would need a steady dose of prayer to get her through.

Maybe you can relate. Perhaps you’ve recently lost a job, or are clinging to a decaying marriage. Or maybe those family members you’re about to visit sour your stomach. If that’s you, if you find the holiday’s to be a bit more grueling than joyful, then this song’s for you. Make this holiday season a time of reflection–a time that you go back to the moment of truth. The day you first talked to Jesus and He reached out for you.  And remember, He’s still reaching for you. He’ll never let you go.

Yesterday I received an email from a friend paralyzed by writer’s block. She’d recently finished her previous novel and couldn’t seem to move forward. Although, when I asked her to send me what she had, I realized her problem wasn’t lack of words but false expectations. All those rules she’d applied in draft fifth and sixth of her previous novel had sapped her creativity. And her confidence. She’d forgotten the drivel she’d started with and expected to produce a final draft the first time around.

Two years ago our daughter developed math phobia. She had a difficult, often hostile teacher, who was hard to please and being the people-pleaser that she is, this paralyzed her. Each problem was torturous. She was so afraid she’d get it wrong, so terrified of making a mistake, she couldn’t begin.

It took a bit of “worse-case-scenario” discussions to move her past this. Basically, I told her I didn’t care if she got it wrong, or even if she failed the class. All I wanted was for her to do her best. My straight-A student didn’t like to hear this, but once I brought it to a spiritual level, reminding her that her obedience to God was all that mattered, she was able to move forward.

We all have things that paralyze us. And we all have our comfort zones. So, we gravitate toward those things that come easily and are the most comfortable, and avoid those things that are difficult. But that leads to stagnation and God calls us to continual growth.

In Dr. Senske’s book, The Calling: Live a Life of Significance,* he encourages us to focus on our areas of weakness-to purposefully seek out new, challenging activities.

It reminds me of training I participated in in highschool. I was a distance runner. The longer the run, the better. Those short, fast turn-outs about killed me. Because speed wasn’t my thing. If left on my own, I would have avoided the drills and speed runs entirely, adding more and more miles to my day in an effort to hone my strength. But my coach knew better. He saw a weakness in me and zeroed in on that weakness.

What would happen if we were as intentional with our spiritual lives? What opportunities might come our way? What kind of growth would we experience?

So how might this transfer to real life?

I’ll give an example in mine. I’m a fiction gal. Fiction’s easy, and relatively non-offensive. Even though you sprinkle truth through out the pages, you never really make strong theological claims. This fall I was provided with two writing opportunities that moved me out of my comfort zone. Both present the gospel, and one requires an exegetical study of Scripture. Not something I’m very comfortable with! Needless to say, there’s been a bit of a learning curve, and to be honest, initially it would have been easier to avoid both assignments all together. But God calls us to growth, not stagnation.

This past year, my husband’s been working on our yard. In the beginning, this was a stretch for him. (Normally we hire people to do these sorts of things.) But after listening to me (again and again) remind him of the worst case scenario, (we could always hire someone after the fact to fix what he did.) he decided to try his hand. And for the most part, he’s done a wonderful job, gaining confidence along the way. Did it save us oodles of money? Not necessarily. There’s been a few costly mistakes along the way. But the way I see it? He’s funding his life-education, and to me, that’s invaluable.

How might this translate to your life? What are your areas of weakness? Make a list. Then brainstorm ways you could strengthen those areas. If you’re afraid to speak in public, purposefully seek out a few speaking engagements. Writing not your thing? Force yourself to write a few letters to loved ones. (Great way to share the gospel, by the way.)

My final admonition (to myself as well): bring it back to your audience of one. No matter what you’re doing, each day make it between you and God–no one else. Don’t worry about what your editor will say. Don’t worry about your boss. Don’t even think about the end result. Focus instead on your Savior and make each moment, each task, an act of praise.

1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

And if you don’t have a spiritual mentor, find one. Remember, if you’re not moving forward, in faith and life, chances are your slipping in the other direction.

*As I mentioned the previous time I referenced Dr. Senske’s book, there were parts of this book that appeared to be Lutheran specific, such as the emphasis on baptism and the use of rituals. Due to my limited knowledge, I am not certain if this is a semantics issue or a theological one, but I thought it worth mentioning.

If you’ve ever visited a department store the day after Thanksgiving, you’ll understand the title. Materialism is one of my greatest struggles. I’ll do well for a while, practicing Philipians 4:11-12 (through an oft spoken mantra) but the minute I let my guard down, greed takes hold.

The holidays certainly don’t make it easy. If you spend much time perusing the mall, watching television or sifting through the mounds of spam mail, you’ll likely begin to feel rather discontent. Your sweaters look a tad shabby. Your car, much too old. Your home in need of a remodel. And the more you think about all the things you don’t have, the more discontent you’ll be.

My greatest struggle is with our daughter. We long to give our children the best, to see their face light up when they open that perfect gift, to watch them gather around the tree in anticipation…but before we know it, Christmas has flipped. It’s no longer about Jesus. Now it’s all about them–and us.

And we don’t realize our mistake until twenty years down the road when our children are consumed with self.

The best solution for materialism is to spend a day with those in need. We lived in Louisiana when Katrina hit. Seeing entire families lose their home and everything they hold dear had a way of curing the gimmies. Our church became a donation center. Congregation members and local grocery stores donated food, toiletries, clothes–you name it. And everything was stacked on clearly identified pews. There was a toiletry isle, crackers isle, underwear isle, you get the idea. This way, Katrina victims could peruse the isles and take what they need without having to ask. (These people were humiliated enough and the last thing we wanted to do was place them in an even more humiliating position.)

I was very impressed with the generosity our church displayed, but two young boys in particular touched me deeply. They were both from Russia and had been adopted from an orphanage a few years previously. I believe they were five or six. They approached their parents, toys loaded in their arms, and asked if they could donate some of their most beloved belongings.

It made my meager, skim-off-the-top donations look rather pitiful.

Why were they so willing to give? I believe it is because they related on a deeper level with these displaced families. They knew what it was like to have very little, and perhaps to lose what little you have. But their past experience didn’t lead them to hoard their treasures. To the contrary, it moved them to extreme generosity.

I like that term–extreme generosity. Listen to my husband’s favorite song:

I remember the fist Christmas we participated in Angel Tree. In one hand, I had a bag filled with games we’d purchased for our daughter. In my other hand, I had a paper angel with a name and a simple request printed on it. The girl was nine, and all she wanted for Christmas was a coat.

Wanna bless a child this Christmas? Wanna show him/her what Christmas is really about?

Here are some great ministries that can help you do that:

Operation Christmas Child

Angel Tree Ministries

Harvesters

Christian World Adoption

And give the best gift of all, Jesus Christ: Christ to the World

This video really resonated with me. CTTWIndia

Challenge question: What’s one thing you can do this Christmas to demonstrate the love of Christ?

 

 

Last night our church talked about the parable of the Good Samaritan and somehow this led to a conversation on social mores and customs. (I’m not sure if it was a way to excuse our Americanized, “It’s all about me” mentality, or if we just happened to hop down a rabbit trail or two.) The jest of it was that Americans do things so differently than the majority of other nations. Many of our neighboring countries place a high priority on relationships. According to our small group leader, in Africa, relationships are valued to such an extent, one stays until a conversation is done–until the conversing party excuses them. There’s no, “Hey, I hate to cut you off, but I’ve got to go.” If you miss work, you miss work. I suppose you’d learn to schedule your fellowship time on Saturdays. lol.

In America, it’s all about productivity and achievements. People think nothing of fathers who can’t make it home for dinner or mothers who have their nannies on speed dial. It doesn’t take long to figure out where our priorities lie. Relationships? Not high on the list.

And before I get too far, I have to admit, I am very guilty of putting my schedule before relationships. Partially because I’m an introvert–a gregarious introvert, I suppose you could say. It’s not that I can’t handle social events–in fact, I’ll probably be the most talkative of the bunch. It’s just that I’d prefer to stay at home. With my computer, my books, and maybe some softly playing music. But if I’m not careful, my tasks can dominate my day, leaving others feeling a bit unappreciated.

This is a balance I’m not sure I’ll ever master, but it’s one I can never neglect. For me, scheduling works best. (That sounds a bit odd, I know.) With my family, there are certain days and times that I set aside to be available. With my friends, I’ve had to schedule days in. That way I can’t “get too busy” or conveniently decline. And with my daughter, it can be even harder because as a teen, she’s convinced she doesn’t need parental time. Only I know she does. It’s the time spent in leisurely walks or nestled on the couch that will glue our hearts together when the threat of rebellion seeps in.

Elizabeth George, author of A Woman After God’s Own Heart, has an effective way of keeping first things first. Each day she grabs a slip of paper and folds it into individual sections. Each section is given a category: God, husband, children, and so forth. She begins with prayer, “Lord, show me how I can demonstrate that you are first in my life today.” Then, “Show me how I can love my husband today.”

She comes up with one tangible way to bless each of the individuals on her list. For her God category, perhaps that means spending time in prayer. For her husband, it might mean cooking a special meal. Or maybe she’ll call and ask, “What can I do for you today?” (Gotta tell you, the first time I tried that one, I was pretty worried. Visions of my husband unloading a mammoth to-do list filled my mind. But most of the time, his requests have been very minimal.) It doesn’t really matter what the action is. What’s important is that she took the time to be intentional with her love.

It’s always better to be proactive than reactive. I’ve known so many couples standing on the other side of divorce that highly regret the lack of time they spent investing in their marriage. I’ve also seen countless parents watch their children spiral into destruction, wishing they’d been more consistent with family time and Bible discussions.

But on the flip side? I’ve also witnessed many couples married for decades still light up when their spouse enters the room and I’ve watched numerous adult children look upon their parents with deep respect and admiration.

They say hindsight is twenty-twenty, but all you’ve really got is  today.

So here’s the challenge: the holidays can be stressful or enriching. You can have the best decorated house on the block, attend all the right functions and buy that perfect gift for the tenth office party you’ll attend. Or, you can scale it back and determine to put first things first, even if that means saying no to that time-sapping function. Or perhaps forego cooking that ten course meal in order to spend a few extra moments with your family. Better yet, find ways to include your children or grandchildren in the preparations, focusing more on the event than the outcome. Meaning, if your ten year old’s iced cookies look a little less than perfect, let it go.

What about you? Are the holidays a time of stress or a time of celebration and connection? If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, perhaps that’s a sign to scale something back. What “Americanized’ traditions and expectations have seeped into your holidays, detracting from its true purpose? What steps can you take to refocus? What events and activities do you need to say no to? And what could you do simpler?

Tomorrow we’ll talk about the ever-invasive threat of materialism. Yeah, I know, this topic is way overdone, but if you’re anything like me, the constant reminder to put first things first with a counter-culture mentality is a constant battle. One worth contemplating periodically.

1 John 3:18 “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

When I was younger, I went through a rebellious stage. Which wasn’t altogether bad. Okay, so it was about 95% bad, but 5% of my stubbornness was good–the part that didn’t get caught up in what others thought. Although I’m not sure if I ever really broke away from that mold. I just convinced myself I had.

Now that I’m an adult, I’m wiser, right? More conscientious? Socially alert?

Each week, there are numerous posts  you never see. I’ll write them up, proofread them, then hit delete. Because you might get offended, or I might say something wrong, or perhaps you’ll misunderstand what I was trying to say. Or even worse, I’ll look bad. Although I think by now you all know how weird I am. So what do I think I’m hiding and what do I have to prove? Can I really live a surrendered life and please man–you–at the same time. (Ah, you didn’t know you held such power, did you?)

I told you about my pity party the other day. Which resulted in two days of nothing, for the most part. I did a few things, like catch up on housework, but most of my day was spent in retreat. I set my responsibilities aside and let God wrap His loving, protective, accepting, strengthening arms around me. I’m a music gal and normally feel closest to God when I’m listening to praise music, so I grabbed my iphone with its Pandora app and went for a very, very long walk.

It was just what I needed. It’s funny how spending a few moments with the lover of your soul can cut through all the garbage. In my tired, somewhat discouraged state, God was there. His love hadn’t waned. And truly, He didn’t care about what I produced. He wanted my heart, and He reminded me that He wasn’t as concerned with the product as He was with the process–my obedience and continual growth in Him.

This freed me. It took fear of failure off the table and brought enjoyment back to my day, and my writing.

One song really resonated with me. Hanging On by Britt Nicole.

I’m going to post the words here. Read them. Contemplate them. Ask yourself this question: Are you hanging on to the Words of God or have you allowed other distracting noise to get in the way? Who are you trying to please? If it’s God, then there’s nothing to fear. He asks for one thing: surrendered obedience.

You see my anxious heart
You see what I am feeling
And when I fall apart
You are there to hold me
How great Your love for me
Now I see what You’re thinking
You say I’m beautiful
Your voice is my healing

Without You I just can’t get by
So I’m

Hanging on to every word You speak
‘Cause it’s all that I need
Hanging on to every word You say
To light up my way
Even every little whisper I’m
Hanging on as if it were my life
I’m hanging on

And when the darkness falls
I can’t see what’s before me
Your voice is like the dawn
Always there to guide me

Without You I just can’t get by
So I’m

Hanging on to every word You speak
‘Cause it’s all that I need
Hanging on to every word You say
To light up my way
Even every little whisper I’m
Hanging on as if it were my life
I’m hanging on

You know me better than I know myself
Better than anybody else
Your love is sounding like a ringing bell
Oh, oh, I won’t let go

Hanging on to every word You speak
‘Cause it’s all that I need
Hanging on to every word You say
To light up my way
Even every little whisper I’m
Hanging on as if it were my life
I’m hanging on (Lyrics taken from elyrics.net)

Are you tired? Feeling like you don’t quite measure up? Then close your ears to the noise and let your Heavenly Father speak words of love over you. He’s only a prayer away.

I’m tucking the following verse in my pocket. It’ll be my battle cry, my ever-present reminder, until self, and my desire to please man, is totally defeated.

2 Timothy 2:24 “No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs–he wants to please his commanding officer.”