Guarding Date Nights

Early in our marriage, my husband and I made a commitment. We decided we’d place our marriage first. We’d sit beside each other in the restaurant even though our daughter tried to wiggle between us. We’d schedule date nights and hire babysitters even though it’d wipe out our monthly budget. We’d go on annual trips, just the two of us, even though leaving our daughter left a knot in my gut. 16 years later, our love is even stronger than on the day we said I do. I believe our commitment to guard date nights played a major role in that.

I’ve learned, if I want an intimate relationship with my eternal Husband, Jesus Christ, I need to do the same thing. This can be hard, especially when you become involved in ministry. There’s always a hole needing to be filled, a study to attend, a person in need of prayer. But if we’re not careful, our business can steal our needed time with God. Sometimes we have to say no and leave the results–and other people’s expectations–to God.

For me, my day is Sunday. It’s taken a few years for my family to catch on, but on Sunday, I let the laundry lie. I let the dishes set, and I grab my iPhone with my Pandora and head for a nice long walk–by myself. It’s my special time with Jesus. Sometimes it lasts a few hours, other times it extends all day, but I always come back refreshed and recharged.

What about you? Have you and Jesus set aside a “date night”? This date will look different for everyone, but I believe we all need it. I believe we all crave it. Spend a moment with God and ask Him what day and time He’d like you to set aside for Him. For the two of you to get away. Then ask Him to remind you and help you follow through.

Equally important, we need to encourage and allow other people to do the same.

Let’s talk about this!

Join us at Living by Grace as we talk about being intentional in our time with God. Here are some things I like to take on my “date”.

*my Bible

*my Pandora radio tuned to praise music

*my prayer list

*a journal

*a concordance

But my favorite times are when I slip away to a hiking trail and simply enjoy God’s presence–no agenda or expectations, just me and Him, spending time connecting on a heart-to-heart level.

What about you? Where can you go this week to spend time with God? What will you bring with you? What might you need to say no to in order to make that date happen?


  1. Just came back from a date breakfast with my husband – we are empty nesters but still do the breakfasts. My husband works at home, so when our kids were in school we started the breakfast tradition – saved on babysitters and also the cost was less. My pastor defines a date as the husband takes the wife out and spends money on her, no kids along. But it doesn’t have to be a lot of money, a walk and a cup of coffee would do it. The most important thing is time. You are right, we also need to spend time with Jesus, vital for our whole being. In fact our marriages are better in proportion to the time spent with Jesus. Have a blessed day.

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