(This post was proofed by Aneah Epshteyn.)
When our daughter was young, a series of moves and transitions left me feeling shelved. As if God had set me aside, potentially, never to use me again. Looking back, I see now that much of my angst came from a false identity and narrow thinking. Prior to this, my husband and I had become heavily involved in a close-knit, southern California church where we found numerous fulfilling ways to serve. As a new homeschool mom, I’d also connected with a thriving community that offered park days, Coops, group field trips, and plenty of extra-curricular activities to keep my daughter socialized and entertained.
I greatly enjoyed all these endeavors, and unknowingly, began forming my identity around them. As a result, when, midway through a series of moves, I found myself in a new state (the third in less than a year) and an inner-city rent-by-the-month apartment, not knowing where our family would finally land, I felt unimportant, uncertain, and unseen.
Initially, I felt disillusioned. But then, sitting in that dingy, run-down apartment, with numerous deadbolts securing our door, I sensed God speaking to my heart, calling me to live for Him, in that place. To shift my focus off my unmet expectations and disappointments and to remain alert each day for ways to share His love and expand His kingdom.
I reflected upon this initially painful, but ultimately fruitful time, while reading through 1 Samuel—the biblical account of a failed ruler named Saul and an emerging leader named David. To paraphrase, initially selected and empowered by God, Saul let fear drive him to disobedience, and ultimately, lost his position to David.
Prior, however, David endured a long, tiring, and discouraging wilderness season during which he probably battled doubt and disillusionment. Yet, notice what Scripture says in 1 Samuel 22:1-2: “David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father’s household heard about it, they went down to him there. 2 All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their commander. About four hundred men were with him.”
At this time, Saul still maintained control of the royal army. While David led a group of distressed and poor “misfits”—according to human perspective. People who were probably accustomed to experiencing rejection from those who deemed them unimportant. Men in whom God called David to invest—in his wilderness season.
Because God always has a purpose for us to fulfill and people in which to invest—whether we’re standing on a platform proclaiming biblical truths, sitting behind a desk in a second-grade classroom, or showing a grocery store cashier the kindness of Christ. Although at times we might feel set aside, Scripture assures us, God has prepared glorious, soul-fulfilling tasks for us to accomplish in this season.
Let’s talk about this. How might God want to use in your current seasons (or how is He using you in this seasons)?
When God Seems Silent: How to Trust He's Still Near – Faith Over Fear
- When God Seems Silent: How to Trust He's Still Near
- When You Fear You'll Miss God's Will: How to Hear Him with Confidence
- Does it Feel Like You Can't Hear God? Practical Steps to Increase Spiritual Sensitivity
- Why God Might Feel Distant and How to Connect With Him More Deeply
- How God Redeems Our Deepest Regrets (ft. Dustin Lolli, lead singer Sanctus Real)