My husband and I spend a good deal of time praying over and for our daughter. We are so excited to see what God has in store for her, but there’s also a weight that remains on our shoulders. Are we teaching her enough? Pushing her enough? Giving her enough grace? And where is that line between expecting too much and coddling?
Sometimes, parenting gets so confusing. Balance can be hard to find. I’ve often said, “If only God would give me a clear, if A happens, do B.” But this morning, I have something even better–Christ in me. She has this same gift. The gift of the living, risen Lord living in her, guiding, strengthening, equipping her. The absolutely best thing my husband and I can do for her is daily teach the importance of drawing near and staying surrendered to her Savior, going when He says go, staying when He says stay. If she does that, He will take care of everything else. (The same is true for each of us, isn’t it?)
But there’s a catch. As a parent, I absolutely must be willing to surrender her. In other words, I must put action to my words and show her a real, living, breathing faith.
And before you go, join me at Internet Cafe Devotions where I’m attempting to tackle a rather difficult issue–sexual harassment in our highschools. Yeah, it happens. So what can we, as parents, do about it? Read my thoughts here and share your own.
It’s late October, and many of you are thinking of pumpkins, candy corn, and, well, maybe even dead people. If you’re not, I encourage you to, although my version of dead might surprise you. 😉 Come see what I mean by clicking here.
Today, I’m thrilled to share a story my sister, Jesseca Randall, shared with me. You might remember her. In 2011 she visited my blog and talked about something that is and will forever be very close to my heart--hurting children. Fast forward two years, and this sweet Christian woman began feeling an increasingly persistent nudge to put action to her words. But how? And when? Her days were jam packed as it was!
She’s in grad school.
Raising two young children.
Trains for and runs in half marathons. Has a soldier for a spouse, one that recently returned from a one year deployment in Afghanistan.
Honestly, there are days when making it through the day is enough to do her in. How could she possibly add one mort task–or, more accurately, one more heart to care for, in the mix?
But that nudge wouldn’t go away. In fact, the more she tried to deny it, ignore it, the stronger it became.
Here’s her (and a young boy named William’s*) story:
Running yesterday morning I heard a message about how the definition of faith is to step out and do something impossible expecting God to show up. You know me and my brain so I start to think of ways to do this. “Okay, so I’m going to contact the church about a teen mom group, and maybe I’ll revisit the juvenile detention ministry…yada yada yada.” I do, and then proceed to drive to class. During my drive I turn off my radio and just pray about these possible ministries. In the middle of prayer my phone rings. It’s the call asking us to take in a young boy named William*.
Here’s the deal – this is the fourth time God has put this little guy in front of us since the end of summer. We said no THREE different times. I tell the lady on the phone that we’d love to but we don’t have childcare, and I am 9 weeks from graduating so “I can’t quit now”. She thanks me anyway and we hang up.
Now I’m in tears because I know that God has placed this same little boy in front of us now four times, and we have said no every time. I do not believe in coincidences! So, sick to my stomach (you know the feeling when you know God is telling you to do something but you don’t), I continue through my classes at school.
But then my husband, Rob, and I talk. We decide we will step out in faith and take this child in and expect God to show up with childcare or some other way. That was Tuesday. By the next day, we have childcare from two unknown families for Friday and Monday (unknown to us but not the agency).
Having said all that, I clearly see God all through this but holy smokes this is one of the hardest thing I have ever done. It is hard to see him suffer, and it’s hard to see my kids struggle. He seems to have a love/hate relationship with with my youngest child, and I can’t leave the room because he hits her. He is the most active child ever, and again, you can’t leave the room. He is also the sweetest thing (especially for what he’s been through).
Those who know me know I am a control freak and love my comfort – this is very trying. God is stretching me. There is also a large part of me that just wants to adopt this little guy and take him away from his chaos. But he is not even up for adoption as his mom says she still wants to have him. Turns out though she has used our state’s programs as well so I’m afraid this little guy has clear attachment issues.
I could use prayers and the constant reminder that this is not about me but about him and God’s overall plan.
*Name changed for privacy reasons.
Jesseca Randall is Air Force wife and mother of two who has a God-given passion for helping troubled youth. While stationed overseas, Jesseca completed her Master’s degree in Criminal Justice with a focus on youth at risk. Once she and her husband returned to the United States, she worked for the State of Oklahoma investigating allegations of child abuse and neglect and as a Foster Care Specialist. After the birth of their first child, Jesseca became an independent contractor, certifying homes for foster care and adoption. Wanting to work in a more therapeutic role, Jesseca is now working on her Masters Degree in Social work and has recently completed her practicum at a child advocacy center. If you have questions about foster care ministry, would like to be come involved, would like more information, or would like to be added to Jesseca’s email loop, contact her at Jesseca.Randall(at)gmail(dot)com
Let’s Talk About This! What has God placed on your heart? Does it feel impossible? Maybe too hard or too scary? If so, then my guess is that ministry is exactly where you need to be, because it is when we are weak that God’s power is most seen. 🙂 And like Jesseca said, taking in Isaiah wasn’t about her–her abilities, strength, or comfort. It was about saying yes to a mighty God and allowing Him to work in and through her. The same applies to you. 🙂 Will you say yes? Will you humbly and without hesitation offer up to Him all you are and all you have? Chances are, it won’t be easy, but I can gaurantee you, it will be so worth it.
Join the conversation here, in the comments below, or at Living by Grace on Facebook.
There have been times when obedience seemed to come easy, like when I’m serving in a well-established, fine-tuned ministry or bonding with our daughter over nail polish and ice cream. There are other times when my obedience takes surrendered faith–like when we moved from our beloved KC to our now equally loved Papillion. But through it all, one thing I know to my very depths, when God guides, He ALWAYs provides. Today my sweet friend, the very talented Shannon Taylor Vannatter, shares a time when God called her and her husband to make a hard choice. As you read her story, pause to consider what steps God might be asking you to take in your own faith journey.
Please note: Shannon is giving away a copy of Rodeo Regrets to one randomly selected reader who will be drawn from the comments below and those left on Facebook.
“I bet your baby is glad to have you on vacation,” I commented while cutting my client’s hair. Her three month-old napped in his carrier a few feet away.
“He misses his baby-sitter,” she calmly replied.
I thought it was one of the saddest things ever uttered and vowed that I would stay home with my children one day.
‘And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son,’ (John 14:13). These are the words of Jesus and I take Him at his word. When my husband and I learned of our coming baby, I began to pray earnestly that we could afford for me to stay at home with our child.
My mother never worked until my teen years and then only part-time. She was always there for me and I yearned to follow in her footsteps. It didn’t appear that it could possibly happen, but I kept praying. Hubby, though supportive, didn’t think that we could do without my income.
During this time, hubby who had been ordained to preach months before, began to get calls from churches. He filled in at several pulpits and a few of them needed pastors. Suddenly he went from enduring months with nowhere to preach, to preparing a sermon for a different church each Sunday. We enjoyed it thoroughly, even though I battled morning sickness and excessive tiredness.
As our son’s birth neared, we struggled with whom we would trust to care for him. Would he get enough attention at the daycare? Would he be sick often if he went to daycare? My mother-in-law had volunteered to baby-sit. But after years of working toward retirement, would babysitting tie her down too much? Hubby joined me in my prayer.
We decided that my maternity leave would serve as a financial test. I planned to work as long as possible, hopefully right up to the birth, and then take three months off. At the end of that time, we’d know if we could afford for me to resign.
However, our plan didn’t work. Six weeks away from my due date, the doctor put me on maternity leave due to severe swelling and blood pressure concerns. Years before, I had hung up my scissors for an office job. Sitting at my desk all day contributed to the swelling. My doctor ordered me to keep my feet elevated as much as possible.
We realized just how good God is. I had disability insurance at work and had no idea that it covered pregnancy. The disability checks kept us afloat during my leave of absence.
Though thankful for the checks, it further proved that we could not make it on one income. My father-in-law helped us along financially during that time, however, it took every penny he sent along with the disability checks to keep our bills paid. I also received a nice Christmas bonus from my employer, which we used to pay more bills. We continued to pray.
Miraculously, we managed to sell my car. Only a few months after September 11, 2001, the economy staggered. The car dealers offered 0 down and 0.9% interest. If anyone bought a car, they bought new, not used. Yet, my car sold. We bought an older model truck, with cash. We now only had one car payment. Our finances improved overnight, but still not enough.
My husband soon accepted an interim position at a church. After two months, the congregation planned to vote on whether they wanted him for their pastor. Midway through the interim, another church offered him a two-month interim as their pastor. They understood that he’d already committed, but insisted that he let them know if he was available after fulfilling his obligation.
Both churches were small and offered bi-vocational positions, requiring hubby to keep his full time job as a dental technician. We’d never thought of his call to preach as extra income. We had assumed it might take years before he had his own church. However, we began to wonder if this was the means God would use to answer our prayers.
Our son made his debut the sixth week of my leave. I’d have six weeks with our precious child before returning to work, which I dreaded with every fiber of my being. All I wanted was to stay at home and raise my son. Once we actually saw him, we couldn’t imagine leaving him with someone else all day. We prayed harder.
I returned to work. The first day back was one of the worst of my life. My son stayed with my mother-in-law and cried all day long.
My boss understood my preoccupation and cut my hours to part-time. Still, each day I went to work was a nightmare. Though my mother-in-law never complained, I know the almost constant crying frayed her nerves. Hubby and I worried about him all day. We couldn’t stand to think of our baby crying so much without us there. My husband begged me to give my notice.
By this time, he had fulfilled the interim at the first church. The congregation wanted him as their pastor. However, after much prayer, hubby didn’t feel it was the right church for him. He began the second interim and immediately felt more at home there.
If the congregation asked him to stay, we could afford for me to quit work. They didn’t pay quite as much as I earned, but enough that we could squeak by. We felt sure God was answering our prayers. However, the interim had only just begun. If after two months, the church didn’t ask hubby to stay or he felt that he shouldn’t, we would need my income. I didn’t want my husband to take the church if asked, simply for the money, but because God wanted him there.
My plans to work until the interim was fulfilled and a decision made, only lasted four miserable days of work, with my son crying all day and hubby begging me to resign. He promised he wouldn’t take the church unless God wanted him there.
Deciding I could work as a hairdresser again and set my own hours gave us a backup plan. I gave my notice and worked two more miserable weeks before leaving my office job.
Immediately, after getting to stay home with me for a few days, our son’s fussiness improved. I knew we’d made the right decision and continued to pray that God would take care of our finances. My husband finished the interim, six weeks after I left my job and the church asked him to stay on as their pastor. With much prayer, he accepted their offer. We loved the church and the people there. God truly answered our prayers.
Over the next months and years, I witnessed all of our son’s firsts, instead of my mother-in-law telling me about them.
He’s eleven now. Two churches later, my husband is a full time pastor and, I am thankful that I spend my days at home writing. When school’s out, I’m here. When he’s sick, I’m here. During summer break, we play.
Hubby and I thank God daily for working everything out so well for us. We will do our best to raise a godly son and make certain that God is pleased that he answered our prayers.
My advice to women, who would love to stay home with their children, but think they can’t afford it: Pray. God is the best financial manager.
Rodeo Regrets:
NATALIE WENTWORTH’S PAST IS ABOUT TO CATCH UP WITH HER
Natalie once dreamed of finding true love. Then Lane Gray broke her heart. After running wild to fill the emptiness inside her, she heads back to her hometown to heal. But when she sees the cowboy she once loved so much, she finds him hard to resist.
Lane Gray is a changed man. The handsome cowboy wants Natalie’s forgiveness-and more. Natalie has made plenty of mistakes in her life, but so has Lane. Could falling for each other again be the worst one yet? Or the path to redemption?
Shannon Taylor Vannatter is a stay-at-home mom and pastor’s wife. Her debut novel won the 2011 Inspirational Readers’ Choice Award. When not writing, she runs circles in the care and feeding of her husband, their son, and church congregation. Home is a central Arkansas zoo with two charcoal gray cats, a chocolate lab, and three dachshunds in weenie dog heaven. If given the chance to clean house or write, she’d rather write. Her goal is to hire Alice from the Brady Bunch. Visit her online!
Let’s talk about this. I love the oft quoted phrase, “When God guides, God provides. Perhaps God is nudging you to stay home like He did with Shannon, or maybe He is asking you to give generously to a ministry out of faith. Or maybe He is calling you into missions and you can’t imagine how you will raise the necessary support. Or perhaps He is nudging you in another way–to seek employment or return to school after an extended absence. It doesn’t matter what God is calling you to do, for His provisions remain the same–perfect for whatever He is calling you to do and whatever He longs to do in you. The question is, will you trust Him and move forward in faith, confidence, and obedience?
I’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments below or on Facebook at Living by Grace.
Before I get too far, it has come to my attention that I forgot to post the link to Sweet Freedom’s free kindle version. Here it is: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DPN8WAY
For formatting and cost reasons, the kindle version is black and white. For those of you who want the full-color PDF version, let me know and I can send it to you via email. Those of you who’d prefer a print version can purchase it at cost plus shipping (as soon as it is available). Again, just let me know and I’ll get it to you.
When our daughter was young, Bible reading came easily. I simply added it to our nightly story time. Then the tween years hit, and suddenly it became a struggle. I wanted her to grab hold of her faith–to grow excited about the things of God, but she still seemed to need a great deal of prodding.
I got worried. I knew she was saved, so why wasn’t she hungry for God’s Word? What could I do to help her grow excited about spiritual matters?
I tried everything. Nagging, reminding … nagging. And more nagging.
Until one day, my husband warned me: “You need to chill out. You’re going to drive her away.”
Ouch! But he was right. I was pushing so hard–out of fear–that I turned what should have been a special time between her and her Savior into a have-to and a power struggle between an increasingly independent teen and her hovering, worrying, slightly overbearing mother. 🙂
So I pulled back and increased my prayers, asking God to help me make spiritual matters more natural.
I soon realized the best spiritual discussions flowed from our day–from what God was teaching me.
Deuteronomy 11:13-21 lays out the most effective ways parents can train their children to draw and stay close to God:
13 So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today—to love the Lord your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul— 14 then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and olive oil. 15 I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied.
16 Be careful, or you will be enticed to turn away and worship other gods and bow down to them. 17 Then the Lord’s anger will burn against you, and he will shut up the heavens so that it will not rain and the ground will yield no produce, and you will soon perish from the good land the Lord is giving you. 18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 20 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, 21 so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.
I imagine many of you are familiar with the latter part of this passage–the portion talking about training your children. But I began at verse 13 on purpose, because we can “teach” ourselves breathless, but if we’re not living our faith out, our words will be nothing more than noise, and annoying noise at that. But when our words are backed up by consistent action–wow, what a powerful example that sets.
It’s really not hard, although at first it might feel awkward, but like anything, the more we do it, the easier it becomes.
I like to use car rides to begin faith conversations. I figure this gives me a captive audience. 🙂
1. I begin with prayer, asking God to help me stay alert to natural opportunities to share what God’s doing in my life. I’ve found openly talking about a personal area in need of growth really helps open our daughter up. Never be afraid to share spiritual struggles with your children–areas where you come up short and where God is working to grow you. This helps remove the “I am parent-you are child, so listen” atmosphere, creating one that is instead more relaxed and loving.
2. Pray out loud. Prayers flit through my brain often, but for some reason, they rarely left my lips. Then one day I realized how many teaching moments I was missing out on simply because I kept my prayers silent. What if I began saying them out loud so my daughter could hear them–not just those family prayers over mealtimes or before bed, but the quick shout-out, one sentence prayers? And what if I verbalized gratitude for things I encountered throughout the day? Would that make it more natural for our daughter to do the same?
3. I began to help my daughter connect the spiritual dots throughout her day–to stay alert to “God-happenings.” A funny thing happened–the more we expressed gratitude for things God had done, the more we saw His hand throughout the day.
***
Let’s talk about this. What are some ways you live out God’s commands in Deuteronomy 11? Any special childhood memories you can share, perhaps of a dear grandmother who often told you Bible stories near a crackling fire? Or maybe of a special note with a Bible verse included your mother used to slip into your school lunch? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below or on Facebook at Living by Grace.
Wow, it’s been a loooooong time since I’ve updated this blog. I apologize. We’ve been moving–yes, again. Only a short distance this time–down the street. (Long, boring story that has nothing to do with today’s post. 😉 ) But with moving comes packing, fence and deck painting, unpacking, cleaning, and more cleaning. Did I mention cleaning? 😉 And amidst it all, I’ve had my share of crabby days … this morning being one of them … when the garage door repairman tracked black oil across our tan carpet. Oy! Now if ever I needed to pause and pray that my head didn’t instantly explode (creating yet another mess to clean), that was it.
Funny God arranged for this post today, well before my need arose. 😉
“Dear Heavenly Father, Your Word tells me that I am a letter being read by everyone. I pray that I won’t be junk mail today. I pray that I won’t be like a bill making people feel like they owe me. I pray that I will be a love letter, a thank you note, and an invitation to celebrate life.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.” (www.girlfriendsingod.com)
Wow – After the day I had earlier this week, the prayer above really convicts me. I could blame it on the Heatwave, excessive stress, change in routine, any number of things. Honestly, though, it all boils down to me making the choice to let my emotions have the best of me. I wasn’t only miserable myself, but I managed to spread my bad mood to those I love the most too.
I think God showed me that prayer on purpose today. You see, I realized yesterday, even as I was saying the words in a not-so-nice tone, how I sounded and how unfair I was being. So, last night, I first asked forgiveness from my Heavenly Father for being such a poor example to those He entrusted to me as well as those unfortunate souls who happened to cross my path. Then I apologized to my kids themselves for being “the wicked witch of the mid-West.”
This morning, I was determined to have a different sort of day. I asked questions instead of accused, found things to compliment my kids about instead of criticizing, and even though it’s my job to keep my children focused on “completing tasks to their best ability,” I chose the better way to go about that goal.
When I opened the cupboard to grab a container and everything fell out on top of me, my response was much different this morning than it would have been yesterday. Did I let my kids off the hook for their laziness? No, but I was very clear in my expectations, delivered with love this time. Does that mean that they were thrilled to hear the message today because it was told in a different tone of voice? No, but that isn’t the point.
I am realizing, and the prayer above just reemphasizes, that it is my responsibility to show this world an accurate example of Christ’s love. I am God’s letter. If I am going to proclaim that I am a Christ follower, then I need to show Christ in my life always, not just when my hair looks good, the scale shows numbers I like, and the temperature is in the low 80s with a breeze. I will even take my convictions one step further. I think it’s more important to show Christ when in the middle of a Heatwave, my stress level is through the roof, or Murphy’s Law has decided to set up camp in my front yard.
People who are looking to see if Christ is the answer to their life are going to look, probably doubly hard, at how a Christ follower handles life on a day-by-day basis, during good and bad days. And, even though I won’t get it right all the time, I pray that I’m learning from my mistakes (like yesterday) and will do better the next time. After all, I don’t want to be accused of false advertising.
***
Cheri Swalwell is a wife, mother, and avid reader, but first and foremost she is a Christ follower. She has a degree in Psychology and has been blessed to be a guest on a variety of blogs including Christiandevotions.us, Circle of Friends, and Crosswalk.com/family. She is a regular contributor to book fun magazine. If you want to hear more about the heart she has for marriage, parenting, and relationships from a Christian perspective, feel free to visit her blog: http://journeysfromtheheartofawifeandmother.wordpress.com or “like” her on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/cheri-Swalwell. She loves to interact with her readers, so feel free to connect with her at clSwalwell99@gmail.com.
Let’s talk about this. If you’re like me, you often fail to pray when you need it most. Most often because I get so wrapped up in the moment–in myself–God’s kingdom is far from my mind. But like Cheri said, it can be during our most difficult times that others will see Christ shine through–if we would but let Him. What are some ways we can align our hearts and actions more with Christ? And what gets in our way?
Share your thoughts and stories in the comments before or on Facebook at Living by Grace.
I don’t remember when you visited me in the neonatal ICU every day, sometimes twice a day, for the first 18 days of my life
I don’t remember how you washed every part of the house, including curtains, when I was an infant to keep my pneumonia-prone lungs free of illness
I don’t remember the doctor visits and hospital visits and sleepless nights as you fought to keep me healthy for my first three months of life.
But I saw you wake me with a smile and the song, “Oh, Grumpy face, Oh, Grumpy face,” for years, not letting up until a giggle surfaced.
I saw you bake me cakes, throw me parties, wash and fold my clothes, for years, many times without a thank you.
I saw you walk with me on an old winding timber road, singing the whole way, songs I later sang to my daughter as I rocked her to sleep.
I saw you walk with me along the wooded path of Skagit Valley Community College in the wee hours of the morning, and we’d talk and talk and talk. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I remember you, the walk, and the smell of the crisp morning air tinged with pine.
I saw you, when times were tight, shop for bargains and work, without thanks, to stretch our meals.
I saw you, when my baby girl was but two weeks old and I came for a visit. I wondered if I’d ever sleep again or make it through yet another day on little sleep, and you sent me straight to bed, rocking my princess to sleep then tucking her by my side.
I saw you, and I thank you.
To my mom-in-law
I wasn’t there when you held my husband and soothed his cries.
I wasn’t there when you stood at the stove, Steve crying in the background for a bottle that wouldn’t heat up quick enough for him.
I wasn’t there when you made his favorite meals, meals he still talks about to this day, often asking, “Did you ever get that recipe from my mom?” Meals, I suspect, are his favorites not because of the flavor or ingredients, but because of the cherished memories they represent.
I wasn’t there when you went to Steve’s baseball and football games, sitting in the bleachers, supporting him and cheering him on. But I was there, when looking at old photographs, Steve beamed and pointed to a picture of you and said, “Doesn’t she look like a movie star?” Because he cherished you, and because he cherished you and felt cherished by you, he learned to cherish me.
And I thank you.
But each day I watch my husband encourage our daughter, support her, and cheer her on, I thank you.
And each day my husband pitches in around the house, listens patiently as Ash or I share our heart, as he diligently and without complaining goes to work to support his family, I thank you.
I wasn’t there when you patiently, daily, sacrificially poured into my husband, but I thank you.
And to both of my special moms, this video is for you.
I wonder if one of the reasons we find rainbows so beautiful is because they are most often seen in the midst of a storm. How brightly their colors shine set in a background of gray! Whether that gray comes from storm clouds or an extended absence of sun.
When our daughter was young, she loved searching for rainbows, and she often found them–streaming through clouds, hidden in puddles of oil, or created by sprinkler spray. It amused me the places she’d find bits of color. All because she chose to focus on the blessings rather than the spills and clouds.
Last spring, during a particularly stressful time, our family decided to spend the day at the Plaza in Kansas City. We were in the process of moving, which required hours of meeting with realtors, roofers, tilers, painters … And as my husband spent the work week in Omaha, where we planned to move, most of this fell on my slightly ill-equipped shoulders. (I even learned to spackle!)
Needless to say, by the time Saturday evening came, I was tired, hungry, and ready to go home. (Plus I had some writing deadlines to meet.) But God had other plans, plans that hit us dead on, moments before we were to merge on the freeway.
Looking back, it was quite comical–and maybe even a bit miraculous. As we were driving toward the freeway, a tire came flying straight at us. Yes, a tire! It hit us with enough force to crumple our front end and jerk our car to the right. Then it ricocheted through the air, over the sidewalk, before landing in someone’s lawn. The car it flew off of sputtered, it’s now bald axis scraping against the pavement.
My husband pulled to the side of the road, stunned, and the young man without his front tire did the same.
I still marvel at what might have happened if the accident occurred on the freeway, as both of us merged in 70 mile per hour traffic. A hidden blessing. A life-saving miracle.
Long story short, but as we waited for the police to come, I grew increasingly impatient. (And no, I didn’t pause to think that God might have just saved our life and perhaps the lives of many others by preventing us and the loose-tire driver from entering the freeway.) It didn’t help that I had to use the restroom. But it was cold out, and the nearest possible restroom was down the road a ways.
And so, like any selfish, privileged brat, I began to feed my impatience until it grew to irritation. Our sweet daughter, also tired and hungry, noticed.
“Are you okay, Mom?”
I glanced behind me at her furrowed brow and slight frown, and it was like God shown a flashlight in my heart. By fuming, I was modeling the opposite of what I wanted to train in our daughter. And, if not careful, I could sour our evening, our weekend.
The choice was mine. Would I focus on the gloom or search for the hidden rainbow?
With God’s help, I chose the latter, and opted to head for that bathroom some distance away. It was at a fast food restaurant. I invited my daughter to join me. It was cold, and I was still hungry, but as we walked, giggles soon emerged. Silliness that can only come from the expression of a teenage heart.
What began as an inconvenience had turned into a chance to connect. And I almost missed it.
Each day, no matter how dreary our day or circumstances, I believe God sprinkles His blessings–His rainbows–around us, inviting us to grab hold of the blessing. The choice is ours. But let us never forget, others are watching, and our actions speak much louder than our words. They reveal the depths of our love, of our trust, of our surrender.
I’ll leave you with two verses:
Psalm 71:1 “My life is an example to many because You have been my strength and protection” (NLT). (Can you say this? Notice, it’s not about your strength or determination, but your surrender–your reliance on God for strength and perfection. Kinda simplifies things, no?)
Matthew 3:8 “Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.” (This reminds me, my life is to “prove” the power of the gospel. How can I do that? By living a radically transformed life. And how can I live transformed? By drawing near to God, staying connected to Him, daily reading His Word, the Bible, and putting into practice what He shows me. How are you living a transformed, divinely-empowered life?)
Let’s talk about this:
Share a time when you’ve chosen to focus on God’s blessings despite an inconvenient or perhaps even painful circumstance. What was the result? Or, perhaps share the latter–a time when you allowed minor inconvenience steal your joy.
Share your thoughts and stories in the comments before or on Facebook at Living by Grace.
Today’s devotion written by author and blogger, James C. Magruder, focuses on one of my favorite verses: Psalm 34:18. You may be familiar with the quote by CS Lewis that says, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains…” I’d choose a different wording here, as I don’t envision God as much of a shouter, but I do agree with CS Lewis’s overall message–God makes Himself clear and real when we’re hurting. Through verses that leap out at us during our morning Bible reading time, bringing a deep sense of peace; through songs that penetrate so deeply, tears arise; through a friend who calls unexpectedly when we need it most. And He longs to use you and I to do so. As you go about your day, ask God to show you His hurting children and how He longs to love them through you.
The Lord is near the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
Broken hearts. They’re all around us. The man sitting next to you at the office is going through a divorce. It wasn’t his idea. The young couple next door recently finished painting the baby’s room. Last night they had a child—stillborn. A 10-year boy learned his father was killed in an overseas conflict. He was to come home in a few days.
People all around us are hurting. In some, you see it in their eyes. In others, you hear it in their voice. Others bury it deep in the recesses of their soul mistakenly believing no one can see or touch their pain.
But you may see it. You may even feel it, because you’ve been there. You’ve experienced the pain, felt the void, and wondered how you would move on. But God met you there. He numbed your pain, filled your void, mended your broken heart and lifted your weary spirit.
Look around you. Who is hurting? Who can you introduce to the healer of broken hearts?
The Lord knows our pain no matter how deep we bury it, no matter how we mask it. He sees it, He feels it—and He died for it. God is near the broken hearted and He is ready to “save those who are crushed in spirit.”
Point a broken heart to Him.
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James C. Magruder is an award-winning advertising copywriter and executive speechwriter. He has had articles published in Writer’s Digest, Writer’s Journal, Marriage Partnership, Home Life, Christian Communicator, and recently in Chicken Soup for the Soul, Inspiration for Writers, available in bookstores, Amazon.com and other online booksellers on May 21st, 2013. He encourages writers to chase their dreams regarding the writing life on his blog at: www.thewritersrefuge.wordpress.com.
You can reach out to him at: jcmchips1@yahoo.com.
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Let’s talk about this!
Parents, I want to address you first. I believe compassion is as much taught as it is caught. But I do not believe it comes naturally. In fact, I believe humans by their very nature are selfish, so self-consumed we rarely notice the hurts and needs of others. However, if we diligently and consistently train and model active compassion, I believe our children will learn to do the same. And what happens when God’s children consistently display the love of Christ? People experience healing, lives and families are changed, and those we encounter will be drawn to our Savior, the God of love.
To all of us, may we keep our eyes and hearts open to the hurting today, taking the time to look past the exterior to the broken heart hidden beneath.
Is there someone God has placed on your heart, and if so, how might you move forward in obedience? Has God used someone else to show His love to you? We’d love to read about it!
Share your thoughts and stories in the comments before or on Facebook at Living by Grace.
A while back, I read a beautiful account of how one mother trained hope in her child, and I immediately thought of Proverbs 13:12. It seems we humans can endure almost anything, as long as we have hope. Hope for change, hope for love or companionship, hope that whatever we are facing won’t last forever. Ultimately, our hope rests not in this world or the things of it, but the unchanging nature of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and His promise of heaven where He will indeed wipe every tear from our eyes. In the meantime, I believe He sprinkles a great deal of hope throughout our day. We just need to look for it, to grab hold of it, and not allow our concerns or problems steal that hope from us.
Today’s post comes from a sweet sister in Christ who has guest posted for me before, Cheri Swalwell. As you read her devotion, pause to consider how you can train hope as well, not just in your children, but in yourself.
I started a ritual with our youngest at bedtime, not realizing I was creating something meaningful. In all honesty, I was just trying to stop his tears. In his mind, everyone else was still having fun but he had to go to bed. So, I started to distract him by talking about all the fun things he would do the next day, exciting activities he did that day, and sometimes, if his chuckles were extra loud, we would talk about the fun we would have all week. It put a smile on his face, giggles in his belly, and he would settle down easily so we could pray, sing, and rock a little before tucking him in bed. I didn’t realize how much he enjoyed it, until asking me what fun things he would do the next day became his evening ritual.
That was when I realized I was teaching him about hope. Not on purpose, but instilling it nevertheless. I started thinking…isn’t that what we all do? Don’t we look forward to things to come? Plan for the future? Have goals in our personal life, professional life, marriage, and with our children? Isn’t the goal to lose twenty pounds a sense of hope? What about training for a marathon…hope that you will finish, beat your personal score, or maybe even come in first? Getting the job promotion, saving for a house, planning a vacation, beating cancer?
Life without hope or something to anticipate brings about a completely different perspective. I’ve had periods of life where I’ve felt “hopeless” about certain situations. Thankfully, those periods haven’t lasted too long, but I’ve had that feeling of hopelessness and I know how awful it can feel.
The Bible tells us that if we’re God’s children, we have hope in every situation, no matter how desperate it seems. We don’t have to be hopeless, feel helpless, or worry about the answers. With God, even diagnoses like cancer, financial hardships, wayward children, and extramarital affairs – no matter what the issue, we can have hope.
The following is a concept that has always brought me comfort. In Psalm 139:16, we are told, “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (NIV). This assures me that years before I was even born, God knew what would happen. He knew about this particular day, event, trauma, tragedy, or whatever it may be that wants to destroy the hope that I have. In Proverbs 13:12, we learn that we can become physically ill when we lose hope, but something anticipated and achieved brings vibrancy and health.
The best hope of all is what’s to come – Eternity. For those who are God’s children, which anyone of us can be if we accept His free gift through His Son Jesus Christ, we have the promise of experiencing things far greater than we can imagine for all eternity. It’s hard to wrap my head around the concept of forever when I can barely keep track of my schedule this week, but it’s there, nevertheless. And, that, my friends, is real hope.
The vacations, losing twenty pounds, or getting ready for a marathon are all nice to help break up the monotony of life, but Eternity in Heaven with God is the ultimate goal.
Cheri Swalwell is a wife, mother, and avid reader, but first and foremost she is a Christ follower. She has a degree in Psychology and has been blessed to be a guest on a variety of blogs including Christiandevotions.us, Circle of Friends, and Crosswalk.com/family. She is a regular contributor to book fun magazine. If you want to hear more about the heart she has for marriage, parenting, and relationships from a Christian perspective, feel free to visit her blog: http://journeysfromtheheartofawifeandmother.wordpress.com or “like” her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/cheri-Swalwell. She loves to interact with her readers, so feel free to connect with her at clSwalwell99@gmail.com.
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Let’s talk about this. Where do you place your hope? So often, it’s easy to focus on the here and now, which isn’t entirely bad, unless that is the extent of our hope. How can focusing on eternity and the things of God bring about fresh hope?
Do you hope for spiritual things–like increased love, patience, kindness, and wisdom, as much as you hope for material things?
How diligent are you in guarding your thoughts? I believe we can and must control what we think about, continually turning our focus off of ourselves and onto the things of God.
What are some ways you intentionally grab hold of and/or teach hope?
You can share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below or join our Yahoo study group by clicking the button below.
Trains for and runs in half marathons. Has a soldier for a spouse, one that recently returned from a one year deployment in Afghanistan.
