When Anxiety Tries to Win

by Jennifer Slattery on February 16, 2023February 15, 2023

(This post first published on February 13, 2020.)

When I’m feeling anxious, which is often, my husband says he’s going to “sit on me.” This isn’t some idle threat, nor a threat at all. Rather, his words convey a promise to, literally and figuratively, cover me with his strength and love, though he doesn’t actually sit. Instead, he rolls over on top of me, completely enveloping me in his much bigger and stronger self. Perhaps he’s attempting to squeeze out all my angst, or maybe, not knowing what else to do, simply wants me to know he’s there, sees my inner struggle, and that he cares.

The first time he “covered me” in his love occurred around eight years ago. It had been a tough week during which God had allowed some deep, long buried hurts from my past to resurface. In the middle of this painful, fragile time, I received a phone call that left me sobbing so hard, I couldn’t catch my breath. It was as if every hurt once suppressed suddenly rose to the surface. It’s hard to describe the intensity of my emotions except to say that it literally felt as if my heart were shredding .

And in the middle of my ugly cry, as I lay in bed, tears coursing down my cheeks, my husband came to my side and immediately rolled on top of me, squishing me in the strongest, firmest, most immovable hug I’d ever experienced. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said over and over. Then, after maybe the tenth time, realization hit: “That’s Jesus.”

I understood, with tear-quieting clarity, that Christ was loving me through my husband in that moment. Though this experience and the understanding that followed didn’t alleviate my pain, it did make it more bearable, because I knew I wasn’t alone. Through my husband, Jesus showed me that He saw me, loved me, was with me, and would carry me through.

When my emotions and circumstances feel out of control, I love to spend time reading through the Psalms. Many of them were written by a man named David who was hunted down for years and, at one point, forced to hide in a cave. Though proven to be a courageous warrior, many of his psalms reveal he also struggled with fear. But in the midst of his most terrifying circumstances, he never lost sight of what he knew to be true: that sovereign creator God was always with him, would never leave him, and would one day turn everything to good.

When others warned him of threats, encouraging him to flee, he responded, in essence, saying, “I trust God to protect me, so why should I run.” (Psalm 11:1) Even if a thousand dangers lurked in the shadows (Ps. 11:3), David refused to
cower, because he knew God was both intimately near (in His holy temple) and reigning from heaven (Ps. 11:4), where He could see all. Though life and David’s circumstances might have felt out of control, truth told him otherwise. He knew with unshakable certainty that the all-powerful, all-knowing God was with Him, in the middle of his greatest challenge, engulfing him in love and truth.

As David Guzik from the Enduring Word puts it, “When David considers the greatness of God, the care of God, and the vision of God, it all outweighs the danger.”

When we’re anxious, may we consider and meditate on those same unchangeable truths, and may we wrap ourselves deeply, completely, in God’s loving, protective embrace. Though this may not alleviate our anxiety, it will make it more bearable as we cling to the certainty that God will carry us through.

Let’s talk about this! Do you struggle with anxiety? If so, what are some things you’ve found to help?

If you haven’t already done so, consider joining Wholly Loved’s private Faith Over Fear Facebook group where I share daily challenges designed to help all of us move from fear to faith. You can join HERE.

I also invite you to join Wholly Loved’s private group where you can share your struggles, celebrations, doubts, and prayer requests and link arms with other women learning to anchor themselves in grace. You can find us HERE.

Additional resources you might find helpful:

Breaking the Fear Cycle by Maria Furlough

When Our World Feels Out of Control

Tracing Our Fears to Their Proclamations

Faith Over Fear Bible Reading Plan

Fear and Faith: Finding the Peace Your Heart Craves by Trillia J Newbell

Discovering the Best of You for Healthier Relationships with Dr. Alison Cook – Faith Over Fear

Do you have difficulty telling others no? Do you find yourself frequently pushing your needs and desires aside to meet the needs of everyone else? Do you ever struggle to know how to love others as Jesus desires while also setting healthy boundaries? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook shares biblical wisdom on how we can discover the best of ourselves and how doing so leads to healthier and more fulfilling relationships. (Scroll down for discussion/reflective questions.) Resources mentioned: The Best of You: Break Free from Painful Patterns, Mend Your Past, and Discover Your True Self in God Boundaries for the Soul The Best of You Podcast episode: "Should I turn the Other Cheek? Why It's the Opposite of Being a Doormat" Find Dr. Allison Cook: On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Jennifer Slattery: On her website Instagram Facebook Amazon What resonated with you most in this episode? How might you answer Dr. Cook's question: What do you want? How reciprocal do your relationships tend to be? Where might you land on the selfless, self, selfish scale Dr. Cook mentioned? How comfortable are you with setting healthy boundaries? When do you find it most challenging to set healthy boundaries? How can strong, clear boundaries lead to relational health? What is one action step God might want you to take, having listened to this episode? Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The History Changing Power of God’s Love

by Jennifer Slattery on February 4, 2021November 1, 2021

Nothing—not foreign invasions, persecutions, not the challenges of today or the uncertainties of tomorrow can thwart God’s plans. Our life-giving, faithful Father is always at work, consistently and persistently guiding and protecting the lives of those He loves and all that concerns us.

Sometimes I lose sight of just how awe-inspiring the gospel truly is and how many pieces fell into place, from the moment mankind first sinned, in order for God’s redemptive plan to unfold. But then He allows something to occur, a life-parable if you will, that reminds me afresh of just how brilliant, how loving and strategic, my Father truly is.

Have you ever paused to consider where you are now and all the steps involved to get you there? All the seemingly random turns or delays that, evaluated later, proved hugely consequential? Of a particular God-moment only He could orchestrate that you come to realize, upon reflection, He’d set into motion years, maybe even decades prior? Remembering these situations helps us rest knowing our world and our lives, as chaotic as they might sometimes appear, are held secure in our loving, faithful and attentive Father’s hands.

Ten years ago, my husband initiated a conversation that broke my heart and triggered fear, for many reasons. His company had offered a job in Omaha, Nebraska, a position he wanted to take.

This meant we would have to move, which meant uprooting my daughter during a really challenging period socially. She was a Freshman in high school at the time and had developed strong community ties and deep friendships with those types of teens you pray your children will connect with. Relationships cultivated and deepened for years, once in a lifetime friendships, in fact.

“Please don’t make me move,” she begged, with tears coursing down her cheeks. My mama’s heart so wanted to concede. In fact, I tried to change my husband’s mind, again and again.

When that didn’t work, I contemplated numerous solutions, and none of them good. Maybe he could get an apartment and visit us on weekends. Or maybe we could move in with friends and visit him? I’m certain, had my husband agreed to either option, our marriage, our family, would’ve slowly eroded. And in choosing what was easiest in the moment, we would’ve forfeited the beauty that lay ahead.

God saw what we couldn’t—a teenager whose kidney was failing, a desperate mother praying for help, and how God was guiding my husband step by step, conversation by conversation, to fill that need. In June of 2015, almost exactly four years later, my husband donated a kidney to a stranger—a kid he didn’t meet until a week before surgery.

As I reflect on all God did to bring that young man and my husband together, ultimately, all God did to save that young man’s life, I’m reminded afresh of the glorious, unconquerable plans of God. His love truly does know no bounds, and His arm always has the power to save.

I was struck afresh by this truth when I read about the night Joseph, Jesus’ earthly father, fled with his family into Egypt. Scripture recounts this terrifying moment in Matthew 2:13-18, but to put it simply, when Herod the king of Judah, learned of Christ’s birth, he became “deeply disturbed” (Matthew 2:3, NLT). Verse 4 tells us he asked the religious leaders where the Messiah was supposed to be born, determined to kill the child. But God intervened.

Verse 13 tells us “an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. ‘Get up and flee to Egypt with the child and his mother,’ the angel said. ‘Stay there until I tell you to return, because Herod is going to search for the child and kill him’” (V. 13, NLT). Joseph obeyed, escaping with his young and likely terrified wife and newborn child.*

But I wonder, did he and Mary wrestle with the same emotions my husband and I did, when we moved to Omaha? Had they become settled in Bethlehem or thought about all they might do, all the people they might see, once they returned with Jesus to their home in Galilee? In a moment, their plans were changed, but for such a good, hope-filled reason. Through their rescue, God was orchestrating His rescue plan for you and I as well.

And in this, I’m reminded once again, His plans will never fail and my salvation is sure.

When difficulties come, may we remember those truths, knowing no matter what we face, God is greater still, and His arm is never too short to save nor His ears too dull to hear. He is with us and for us, always, and as Scripture proclaims, in Christ every promise is yes and amen.

Let’s talk about this! Are you or a loved one facing what feels like an insurmountable problem? Do you feel vulnerable and unprotected? How does remembering God’s sovereign love, revealed throughout Scripture, help grow your faith and starve your fears?

*We don’t know how old Jesus was at this time. Based on the fact that Herod ordered soldiers to kill all the males aged two and under, scholars state Jesus was likely in that same age range.

For those following the chronological Bible reading plan:

Listen to the latest Faith Over Fear podcast episode here:

Other people’s sin, our lives, and God’s Sovereignty

by Jennifer Slattery on October 24, 2019November 1, 2021

Where does man’s choice, most specifically, man’s sin, and God’s sovereignty, intersect? I suspect we’ve all wrestled with that question at some point. We understand that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving, faithful, and true. We believe the One who formed the stars from nothing and set our world into motion can easily orchestrate the details of our lives.

But what about human choice? What about when our boss makes a foolish decision and the company goes bankrupt, or one person’s sin drastically impacts the life of another? We all watch the news, and if we’re honest, we wonder, Lord, where were You when that parent began abusing that child, or that shooter purchased that gun, or that drunk driver got behind the wheel of his car?

Though admittedly, the answers to such questions are much more complicated than my temporal, short-sighted mind could ever understand, I’m comforted with this: Today isn’t the end, and one day God will indeed turn all things to good.

Scripture reveals this again and again. Consider Sarai, later called Sarah, Abraham’s wife. Her story is told in Genesis chapters 12-23. God called her and her husband out of a pagan city-state and led them to what scholars refer to as the Promised Land. They followed, obediently it seemed, until Abraham became scared—twice—and betrayed his wife—twice. She soon found herself in a helpless, terrifying situation.

But God came through. He saw her, He rescued her, and He ultimately penned a beautiful story through her.

Then there was the young Hebrew named Joseph, born three generations later. God called him out from among his brothers for an amazing God-ordained purpose—the saving of many lives. Only shortly after that call, the immature teen bragged about a series of dreams God gave him. His siblings became enraged, beat him, and sold him into slavery. And that wasn’t the worst he experienced. Later, while serving faithfully in a foreign land, his master’s wife hit on him, numerous times. Driven by integrity, he rebuffed her. She became incensed, accused him of assault, and had him thrown into prison.

But again, God came through. Not immediately, not even quickly, but in His perfect timing. At just the right time, actually. He orchestrated Joseph’s release and placed him in a position of leadership, just as Joseph’s dreams had predicted, decade’s prior.

I could go on, and perhaps you could too. Maybe like me, you could even share examples from your life—of times when others attempted to harm you but God ultimately turned the situation to good, like Romans 8:28 promised. That verse states, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (NIV)

Notice Scripture didn’t say, “God will only allow that which is good.” Rather, it says, “He will turn to good …”

In other words, yes, God may very well let us experience some of our worst fears. But when we do, we can trust that those terrifying moments won’t last forever and that God will one day use them for good.

That is where our confidence rests—not in the circumstances of today but rather the promises of tomorrow when God will make all things right. This means we can trust, though life might hurt now, heaven is coming, and I believe when we’re standing on the other side of eternity, experiencing life as God intended it, we’ll deem every momentary struggle endured today not only worth it but insignificant in comparison to the paradise God held secure for us.

Let’s talk about this! Where do you place your confidence? Do you trust that God indeed holds your tomorrow? And if so, how does that trust impact your today? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

Also, I realized a bit ago, I never gave a “deadline” for the book bundle giveaway! I will close the contest to new entries on Nov. 16th. Y’all can “vote” on your favorite entry between from Nov. 21st through Nov. 30th. I’ll announce the winner the first week of December–that way whomever wins can use the books as Christmas gifts, should they choose.

For more information or to enter, go HERE.

And if you haven’t done so, make sure to check out Wholly Loved’s latest Bible reading plan, 20 Days of Relational Health! You can find it HERE.

Our hearts crave deep, lasting connections–to know we are loved and belong. This Bible reading plan will help you grow in your relationships as you learn to love others well, speak and live in truth, and set the healthy boundaries that will allow your relationships to thrive.

Connect with Jennifer Slattery on Facebook and Instragram. Check out her blog on Crosswalk HERE.

Resting in God’s Sovereignty and Infallible Wisdom

by Jennifer Slattery on October 10, 2019November 1, 2021

Irony—heading to a speaking engagement on living centered in Christ and empowered by Him while firmly planted in my wisdom and strength. I know I can do so much more surrendered to God than I’ll ever do on my own, but sometimes I forget. I only see what’s right in front of me, and even that’s often distorted. But God sees all and knows all, including how He wants to use me. My role isn’t too figure everything out but instead to listen and remain pliable to His leading.

The more out of control I feel, the more I’m tempted to fight for it. As my focus narrows, my vision slips off of my Savior, and lands squarely on fallible, short-sided, and often deceived self. I begin to think that I have all the answers or the insight to formulate the best plan.

But then God reminds me, through the chaos, that He retains full control. He saw it all, before a moment unfolded, because He knows all (Ps. 147:5) and works in and through all (Rom. 8:28). He “works all things according to the counsel of His will” (Eph. 1:11, ESV).

As a speaker, I’ve come to expect my fall to turn hectic, that’s when most women’s groups book their annual retreats. Add in some unexpected contracts and schedule shifts, and what felt challenging before pricks all my insecurities. I worry I won’t accomplish all I need to in time or that I won’t complete the tasks well.

These worries pricked recently when a series of unexpected and challenging obligations hit.

Then came Friday, when I learned, due to unavoidable and unforeseen events, I needed to cover a speaking engagement for a friend the following Monday. No big deal, right? Sure, my schedule was tight, but I could make it work. Besides, I already had a talk written on the very subject the group needed. So, though stretched, I confidently replied, “No problem.”

She answered, in essence, “Maybe God has a plan for this.”

Such truth in that statement, for we know that He always has a plan. He’s always working behind the scenes, connecting dots and gently nudging us this way and that, as He perfects His perfect will. Sometimes we’re able to watch His perfect wisdom unfold before us; other times we catch mere glimpses and are asked to trust. To trust that He truly is sovereign and knows the best course of action, and the precise time for execution, for whatever we might face.

When God guides us toward something, He always provides all we need to accomplish whatever He’s assigned.

I know this. I do. But sometimes I get so caught up in whatever is before me, whatever seems to be standing in my way, I forget. And sometimes, in His love and grace, God provides not one but three traffic jams, and some missed turns and dead ends to remind me—He’s always in control, and His ways truly are best.

That’s precisely what happened Monday. The day quickly turned crazy with technological difficulties and numerous unexpected yet urgent responsibilities added to an already full day. As a result, I wasn’t able to rehearse my talk, other than in bits and pieces.

Then came the rush hour traffic I severely underestimated—in part due to an accident on the 680. Honestly, if I laid out my drive, you’d laugh, it became so ridiculously strange. I arrived slightly frazzled and frustrated to discover the group had experienced numerous hiccups and last-minute changes themselves. Relaying this to me, one woman replied, “I’m not surprised. Satan loves to trip us up.”

Though I understand the truth in her statement—Scripture does indeed tell us we have a spiritual enemy determined to trip us up, it also reveals a much stronger, more powerful and constant force Who is always working on our behalf. That became so clear, a short time later, as I stood and spoke grace over the woman gathered that night. Unprepared as I felt, I was forced to rely less on my wisdom and preparations and surrender to God’s leading.

I encouraged them to stop striving to be that perfect mom, to display perfect patience and grace, and to lean into their Savior instead. To let Him prove Himself strong on their behalf. The tears brimming in their eyes and the soft smiles that emerged indicated those truths resonated, I believe, much more deeply then my initial presentation would have.

That night, in my weakened, frazzled state, they got a little less of fallible Jennifer Slattery and a bit more of their ever-wise, ever-present King.

Because God knew. He knew what they needed to hear, and He knew precisely how to get me out of the way so that He could speak those truths through me.

His wisdom is perfect and His power unconquerable; knowing that gives me courage to surrender. In fact, I would be foolish not to.

May we all choose to say, daily, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

As we die to ourselves—our wisdom and our will—Christ’s power is unleashed within us.

Let’s talk about this! How often do you contemplate God’s unfathomable wisdom? What does His wisdom mean for your current situation? How does His unchanging nature encourage your surrender?

Share your thoughts and stories or suggestions with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from one another!

Before you go, I have fun news. Wholly Loved Ministries has released their next Bible reading plan, 20 Days of Relational Health! You can find it HERE.

Before you go, I invite you to join me on Gail Pallotta’s blog to hear a bit about my first Love Inspired novel, Restoring Her Faith. You can read more HERE.

Connect with Jennifer Slattery on Facebook and Instragram. Check out her blog on Crosswalk HERE.