Choosing peace when relationships hurt- Guest post by Carol McCracken

by Jennifer Slattery on July 24, 2025July 23, 2025

Choosing Peace When Relationships Hurt

by Carol McCracken

I once had a conversation with a woman wrestling through a painful family conflict. She kept replaying her last interaction with a relative, analyzing every word and wondering what she could say or do to make things right. “If only they would apologize,” she said. “If only they understood how they hurt me.”

We’ve all been there. Conflict stings. And when we’re hurting, we naturally focus on what someone else should do to make it better. But the reality is, we can’t control other people. We can only control ourselves.

Romans 12:18 gives us a simple but challenging instruction: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” That verse quietly acknowledges a truth we sometimes forget—peace isn’t always possible. But it is always possible to do our part.

The friend I mentioned earlier eventually came to that realization. She couldn’t force the other person to change, apologize, or even acknowledge her pain. But she could make different choices. She chose to forgive. She stopped trying to control the outcome and focused on guarding her own heart. She set healthy boundaries and responded with gentleness, even if it wasn’t returned. And something unexpected happened—her peace returned. Not because the situation was resolved, but because she was no longer tied to the outcome.

There’s a strange kind of freedom that comes when we stop spinning our wheels trying to fix what isn’t ours to fix. We don’t have to be cold or indifferent. But we can step out of the emotional tug-of-war and simply say, “God, help me respond in a way that honors You.”

That may look like calmly stating a boundary. It may look like stepping back to pray before responding to a difficult message. It may even mean accepting that reconciliation might not happen this side of heaven—and grieving that reality while still choosing to walk in grace.

Peace doesn’t always depend on how the other person acts. Sometimes, it’s found in the quiet decisions we make to let go of bitterness, to speak with kindness, and to trust God to do what we can’t.

We can’t control whether others understand or respond well. But we can control our words. We can choose wisdom over retaliation. We can pursue peace, even if the road is one-sided.

And in doing so, we reflect the heart of Christ—who, even when rejected, still chose love.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the reminder that it is possible for me to choose to live in peace, as much as it depends on me. Help me to accept my part may not completely resolve a matter, and to trust you to continue working in the situation.

(If your working through relational conflict, you might find this Faith Over Fear podcast episode on healthy conflict resolution helpful.)

Get to Know Carol McCracken:

Carol Ogle McCracken has been a Bible teacher for twenty years, serving on church staff and in women’s ministry. She currently serves as the Minister of Discipleship at her home church. She hosts the “Your Daily Bible Verse” podcast, cohosts the “Faith Over Fear” podcast, and provides daily inspiration on Christian Mix 106 web radio. But her greatest passion is to make the Bible come alive for women, connecting scripture to a real relationship with Jesus. Her book Wisdom, Where to Find It if You’ve Lost, Forgotten, or Never Had It, is available on Amazon. Find her at http://www.CarolMcCracken.com.

Check Out Her Book, Wisdom: Where to Find it if You’ve Lost, Forgotten, or Never Had it:

Wisdom is not hidden-but you may need a map to find it. If you think the only wisdom contained in your body is in your wisdom teeth, you aren’t alone. These days everyone has an opinion or answer for everything. But where do we find the right kind of wisdom? Is there a difference between our wisdom and God’s wisdom? And how can we make wise decisions when the world wants an answer yesterday? From Genesis to James, this short book will teach you biblically proven techniques to help you make wise decisions amid the busyness of everyday life. All the scripture is contained in this compact book. Enjoy some thought-provoking questions that are perfect for you to wrestle with on your own, with a friend, or as part of a small group.

When Your Loved One is an Alcoholic or Addict – Faith Over Fear

When someone you love is in recovery, the pressure can feel overwhelming. You want to say and do the right thing, hoping to prevent a setback, yet beneath that is a quiet fear that you might make things worse. In this episode, Carol talks with Caroline Beidler, author of When You Love Someone in Recovery, about how to walk alongside someone without losing yourself, addressing the tension many families feel between wanting to help and fearing they might hurt. Caroline reframes a powerful truth: God never asked you to control someone else’s healing. He invites you to love faithfully, set wise boundaries, and trust Him with what you cannot control. If you’ve been carrying guilt or living with ongoing fear, this conversation brings clarity on support versus enabling—and the freedom to love without trying to control the outcome. Resource discussed: When You Love Someone in Recovery: A Hopeful Guide to Understanding Addiction by Caroline Beidler Connect with Caroline Beidler: On her website On Instagram On Facebook Follow her writing on Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Expectations or Expectancy – Guest post by Ava Pennington

by Jennifer Slattery on August 17, 2023August 17, 2023

Expectations or Expectancy

by Ava Pennington

Have you recently experienced frustration? Something or someone irritated you? Plans didn’t go your way? That seems to be happening to me more as of late.

I get annoyed at the increased seasonal traffic in south Florida. I’m frustrated by people who don’t follow through on what they said they would do. I’m irritated by circumstances that cause me to make two separate trips to purchase the same item. But what if the cause of the irritation is not external at all?

What if I’m the cause of my own frustration? Someone once said “the level of your frustration is directly related to the level of your expectations.” Ouch.

So the real cause of my own grief is most likely…me. Knowing we live in a broken world, why do I go through life expecting people to respond perfectly? Especially when I know I don’t! Understanding that our little town experiences a population surge during the winter season, why do I get annoyed at the increased traffic?

Failing to take the time to plan properly, why am I surprised that one task requires multiple trips to the store?

Unrealistic expectations.

Expectations grounded in reality as I want it to be, rather than the way it is. Ancient Israel had a similar problem. Their expectations of the coming Messiah were based on cherry-picked prophecies. The sad result was that they didn’t recognize Him when He did come. They were so busy looking for a victorious military leader that they missed the Suffering Servant who came to redeem humanity. So what’s the answer?

I believe the answer for a Christian is to live expectantly. To live expectantly is to live in without setting specific expectations or demands on what that will look like. Living expectantly allows us to recognize where the Holy Spirit might be moving in areas we would not normally look for Him. And it communicates that we are satisfied with whatever the Lord does, allows, or gives—without comparing it to our own agenda or shopping list.

Those who live expectantly have the privilege of living out a truth understood by martyred missionary Jim Elliot: “God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him.”

Will you join me?

Together, let’s put aside our expectations and live in daily expectancy for how God will show Himself active in our life. And as He does, share your experiences with others to increase their own sense of expectancy.“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not” (Isaiah 53:3 ESV).

Let’s talk about this: How are you living expectantly?

About the Author: Ava Pennington is an author, speaker, and Bible teacher. She’s also a freelance editor, and a certified coach for writers and speakers, and she teaches a weekly Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) class.

Ava is the author of Reflections on the Names of God: 180 Devotions to Know God More Fully (Revell Books, 2022), an abridged gift book edition of the one-year devotional, Daily Reflections on the Names of God. Three devotions for each name/attribute explore who God is, and how this changes us and our relationships. Visit her at www.AvaPennington.com to learn more.

How to Trust God When You Fear What's Ahead (Genesis 31:2) – Your Daily Bible Verse

Today’s Bible Verse: “And Jacob noticed that Laban’s attitude toward him was not what it had been.” — Genesis 31:2 Genesis 31:2 captures a subtle but important moment—Jacob senses a shift. Nothing dramatic is said, but something has changed. The relationship is no longer what it once was, and that awareness becomes part of God leading him into a new season. Have an idea for our newsletter? We want to hear from you! Take our survey below: Take Our Survey! “Want to listen without ads? Become a BibleStudyTools.com PLUS Member today: https://www.biblestudytools.com/subscribe/ Meet Today’s Host: Jennifer Slattery Discover more devotions with Jennifer at Your Daily Bible Verse on LifeAudio Jennifer Slattery is a national speaker and multi-published author, She’s passionate about helping believers live with bold faith, rooted in surrender to Christ’s purpose. Jennifer co-hosts both Your Daily Bible Verse and Faith Over Fear, encouraging listeners to step into their God-given identity. Her teachings blend Scripture with personal insight to help others embrace God’s power over fear and move forward with confidence. 🌐 Learn more at JenniferSlatteryLivesOutLoud.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

is what feels urgent god’s leading? – guest post by kathy howard

by Jennifer Slattery on August 10, 2023August 10, 2023

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Quote from John Ortberg on not missing out through living rushed and distracted

Is What Feels Urgent God’s Leading

By Kathy Howard

(This post first appeared on Kathy Howard’s website.)

My mother used to tell a story about me to which most moms of young children can relate. One day, when she ran into the bathroom for just a moment, I immediately began knocking on the door, demanding her attention. In frustration, she said “Can’t I get just a little privacy?” To her surprise, the knocking stopped and briefly all was quiet. Soon I was knocking again, but with a new message. “Mommy, I looked in my toy box, but I couldn’t find any privery!”

Like the endless, urgent entreaties of a toddler on a frazzled mother’s time, we also experience constant demands on our limited time. Our daily 24 hours are gobbled up by family responsibilities, work, household duties, and more. Some demands we can control, forcing them into our timetable. Others scream for attention until we give it, like knee-high grass in the yard or an overflowing laundry basket.

This phenomenon, commonly referred to as the “tyranny of the urgent,” steals valuable time from the more polite, but more important things. Sometimes we can’t avoid temporarily setting aside the important to deal with something that cannot be put off another minute. But all too often we allow the seemingly urgent to push out the important because we fail to purposefully prioritize the important.

Jesus Defeated the Tyranny of the Urgent

Jesus experienced constant demands on His time and attention. The tyranny of the urgent was always a threat. For instance, in the Gospel of Mark, we learn that Jesus couldn’t openly enter a town to teach because He would be overwhelmed by crowds of people who wanted something from Him (Mark 1:35). So Jesus intentionally worked to make room for the most important things.

When Jesus first began His ministry in Galilee, everyone in Capernaum wanted to get close to Him. So, after an overwhelmingly hectic day in ministry, Jesus rose early to get away and spend time alone with His Father. “And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed” (Mark 1:35 ESV). (Also see “8 Tips for Moving Quiet Time from “Want To” to “Get To“ and “11 Tips for Spending Quality Quiet Time with God.“)

When His disciples woke and discovered Jesus gone, they went looking for Him. Their search was not mere concern for Jesus’ welfare. According to Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary the Greek word Mark used that’s translated as “searched,” “looked for,” or “followed after” means to intensively track and persistently search with a determination to find. The disciples didn’t merely wonder where Jesus had gotten off to, they were a bit indignant that He wasn’t conforming to their timetable. After all, the crowds back in town clamored for His presence. (Mark 1:37).

We can Follow Jesus’ Example

Sometimes we also feel that indignant hostility from the things that pull at our attention. But rather than simply throwing our hands up in surrender, we can follow Jesus’ example. After a busy, draining evening and with more of the same ahead, Jesus intentionally did two things.

First, He spent time with the Father by slipping beyond the reach of the urgent to commune with the only One who could provide everything He needed. He set the urgent aside to embrace the important.

Second, Jesus established His priorities and voiced them to those in His circle. Jesus clearly and firmly told the disciples that the Father had sent Him to take the Gospel message to those who needed it. “And he said to them, ‘Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.’” Mark 1:38

He would fulfill that purpose first and meet the physical needs of the people as He went. And we can follow Jesus’ example. Let’s establish our priorities, voice them to those close to us, and ask God to help us keep the important at the top of our list.

Yes, some days the time tyrant will win. But most days, with a little discipline and a lot of Jesus, we can defeat the tyranny of the urgent and use the time the Father has given us for His glory.

This post was excerpted from “Deep Rooted: Growing through the Gospel of Mark.”

Get to Know Kathy Howard:

About the author: Kathy Howard is a treasure hunter. She hunts for the creamiest chocolate, richest coffee, and cherished stories of faith. She also digs deep into Scripture, mining God’s eternal truths. Kathy has a Masters in Christian Education and has taught the Bible for more than 30 years in a wide variety of venues. She is the author of 12 books, including “Heirloom: Living and Leaving a Legacy of Faith” and the “meaty” devotional series “Deep Rooted.”

Kathy and her husband live in north Texas. They have three married children, six grandchildren, and one accidental dog. Find free discipleship resources at www.KathyHoward.org.

Check out her book, Deep Rooted: Growing Through the Book of Romans

Have you lost the wonder of your salvation? Maybe you’ve forgotten the abundant riches of God’s grace. The Gospel isn’t just a statement of faith. It is more than hope for eternity. The Gospel of Jesus is the power of God for your life today. Recapture the awe of your life in Christ with this 40-day pilgrimage: Deep Rooted: Growing through the Book of Romans.

When Your Loved One is an Alcoholic or Addict – Faith Over Fear

Finding Joy in the Chaos

by Jennifer Slattery on April 20, 2023April 19, 2023

(Note: This first posted in April of 2017.)

Does failing at something you’ve been assigned or entrusted with cause your stomach to knot? When you miss a deadline, does your thought life run amuck? The bigger question is, are you living in grace? That’s not to say we shouldn’t hold ourselves accountable and honestly assess our shortcomings and errors, but when we do, may we do so with an eye on grace.

As my guest today explains, that’s when we find peace and joy, even in the chaos.

Joy in the Chaos by Ralene Burke

As a writer and editor, there’s nothing like missing a deadline to take the wind out of my sails. That feeling of failure that wraps around my heart, squeezes, and then pops any modicum of self-esteem. Darkness falls over my day, and joy leaks away with each deprecating thought.

It didn’t start out that way, though. I was excited to receive the opportunity. I wrote it on my calendar, even setting the deadline a little earlier than the one that had been given to me. But as with many best laid plans, chaos intervened.

My husband and I got locked into a home improvement job that took more time and money than we had originally intended. Two of my social media clients had some “urgent” stuff that had to go up on social media or in newsletters right away. My allergies went into overdrive and had me laid out for a week.

My self-imposed deadline came and went. So did the one I’d been officially given.

It’s funny how the enemy knows those exact moments when we feel like a failure. When we could choose to accept the mistake and learn, joy and peace follows, but instead he presses those thoughts of what a mess we are, how there is no hope for us. He tells us God is so disappointed, along with everyone else.

Deep breath.

Ultimately, life isn’t about the missed deadlines. It isn’t about the crazy schedules or long to-do lists. Life is about opportunities. The opportunity to follow God, to be obedient, and to be His light in this world. We already know we were not made for this world, but for eternity.

We are responsible to one person: God. We are His children. And He loves us so much. He delights in us. But He’s known us from the beginning of time, long before we were born, long before time itself. He knew the lives we would have. He gave us a reason for being, passions, goals, and more. And He gave us purpose despite the mistakes we would make. Our lives are a constant learning curve.

When we put our focus on God and how He sees us, we should also find joy ourselves. Joy in the opportunity. Joy in the moment. Joy in the fact that He loves brock-wegner-e5hXTb9lupQ-unsplash us no matter what.

God knew I would have health issues, and they would force me to find ways to work around the normal 9-5 job. He knew being a homeschool mom would keep me hopping, making it feel like I had 2 full-time jobs. Struggling to find my place in the world would give me the grace to work with others struggling to find theirs.

Failure is something I’m quite familiar with—and not just when it comes to deadlines. With each mistake, I’ve learned that it’s an opportunity to trust God and step deeper into grace. I know God is with me at each turn. And even when things don’t go as planned (and how often does that happen?), He still loves me. He still delights in me. And my joy is found in Him.

How has God been revealing His joy to you?

About the Author:

Whether she’s wielding a fantasy writer’s pen, a freelance editor’s sword, or a social media wand, Ralene Burke always has her head in some dreamer’s world. And her goal is to help everyone SHINE BEYOND! She has worked for a variety of groups, including Realm Makers, The Christian PEN, Kentucky Christian Writers Conference, and as an editor for several freelance clients. Her first novel, Bellanok, is available on Amazon!

When her head’s not in the publishing world, she is wife to a veteran and homeschooling mama to their three kids. Her Pinterest board would have you believe she is a master chef, excellent seamstress, and all around crafty diva. If she only had the time . . .

You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, or at her website.

Let’s talk about this! I never would’ve thought I have a fear of failure. I’ve often said, which I believe, that there’s really no failure when we walk with God. It’s all learning, growing in Him and His will for us, and allowing Him to transform our thinking and will.

But yesterday, something hit my insecurities (and revealed my people pleasing tendencies!), oddly enough, in the form of praise. A reviewer tagged me in a comment on Facebook that, in essence, let me know about THIS. It was a bit surreal to see my name listed among such great authors. That should’ve been cause for celebration, right?

Instead, I felt a tweak in my gut as I thought about the story I’m working on, one I’ve revised at least half a dozen times that I plan to release … in a few short months. (gulp.) And all I could think about was how terrible the story was, how inadequate I felt as a writer, and how I would let this reviewer and all my other readers down.

And then I had to laugh as I realized how easily I fell into the fear of rejection trap–whenever I turn my eyes off Christ and His will for me.

That, my friends, is the answer. But isn’t it always? For as Paul says in Galatians 1:10, “If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant” (NLT).

When Your Loved One is an Alcoholic or Addict – Faith Over Fear

Confidence in Uncertainty – Repost

by Jennifer Slattery on December 8, 2022December 8, 2022

shield-492992_1920 — Photo by Geralt taken from pixabay.com

Note: This post first published on May 5, 2016.

“I’m quitting my job.”

It was the last thing I expected to hear from my ultra dependable, hard-working husband. And yet, looking back, I should’ve seen this coming. He’d been beaten down and overworked for far too long. I should’ve responded to his statement by wrapping him up in a giant hug.

Instead I hit freak-out mode. He was our sole bread winner. We were living in an expensive suburb of California. I stayed home with our daughter, homeschooled her in fact. And had zero desire to change our education plans.

Fast forward a few months, and my husband handed our house keys to our realtor, in essence declaring to her, our neighbors, our friends and one another that we didn’t plan on returning.

He’d turned his work keys in the night before.

My husband still hadn’t found a job, though we were hopeful. And I was panicked, like ready to vomit panicked, though I largely kept my emotions in check–to Steve and my daughter. My prayers, however, were another matter entirely:

Help us, Lord! Fix this! Give me just a hint that all this will work out.

Then, we packed our van, and headed for the Grand Canyon. For a family vacation.

Because everyone goes on vacation when unemployed right? Made perfect sense to me.

Not.

Long story short, God came through. My husband received a job offer that very day. Our house sold for full asking price. That very day. We went on our vacation and the Slattery family lived happily ever after.

Not. So not. Because life is full of upheavals, uncertainty, set-backs and gut-churning panic moments. But over the years, having made it through numerous unexpected and sometimes frightening situations, I’ve learned how to find peace in times of uncertainty. All I needed to do was follow, cling to, believe in, and live out, to the best of my ability, God’s wisdom and truth. Because His promises will never, ever fail.

The next time you’re facing a panicked moment, follow the steps laid out in Psalm 37:

3 Trust in the Lord and do good.

Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
⁴Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.

5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
    Trust him, and he will help you.
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
    and wait patiently for him to act.
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
    He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
    for the Lord holds them by the hand. (NLT)
Trust. Not in our circumstances, our spouse, our savings account or that job, but trust in the Lord. Remember His character. He is always and only faithful, loving and true. Remember His promises and how He has proved them true for you in the past. Center your mind on truth–what you know from God’s Word, and refuse to engage negative, fretful thinking.
Do good. God has a good, eternal work for us to do each day. Some days that ministering to a neighbor or serving the needy. Other times it’s building up our family and pointing them to Christ. Consider that God may have put you in the position you’re in, as uncomfortable or frightening as it may be, to touch a heart or reveal His grace through you. So do good. Serve Him in the hard and the easy. And take joy in knowing your purpose extends beyond you and your circumstances. 
Delight in Christ. Draw near to Him through prayer, music, and Bible reading. Soak up His presence; let His Holy Spirit fill you completely, knowing He will be strong on your behalf. Don’t let the uncertainty of the moment rob you of the sweet treasure of resting in His presence.
Commit everything to Christ. I could likely write an entire book unpacking this one but I’ll sum it up with one word: surrender. Surrender the moment, the situation, yourself, your heart and plans, to God. Leave it all in His hands, knowing He’s working at this moment on your behalf.
Be still and wait patiently. He will fight for you. He is working out a plan for your life, for your family, for your marriage–for whatever you’re facing. You won’t move things along any faster by fretting, but you may when you take the time to be still in His presence, soaking up His strength and listening for His direction. At least, when you do that, there’s a much better chance you won’t do anything to make matters worse through a panicked reaction.
Follow. If you belong to Christ, your spiritual ears have been quickened so that you can recognize His voice (John 10:16). Scripture promises God will and does speak to us (Isaiah 30:21). Psalm 16:7 says, “Even at night my heart instructs me.” So listen. Then obey.
Let’s talk about this! What are some ways you grab hold of peace when life feels crazy and uncertain? Do you have any go-to verses you like to pray or meditate on? Any songs you find especially helpful? 
 

When Your Loved One is an Alcoholic or Addict – Faith Over Fear

Freedom From Entitlement

by Jennifer Slattery on March 10, 2022March 9, 2022

quote from post with a floral designed graphic

What happens when you lost a document? One you remember writing, reading to your husband, and setting aside to share here two weeks later, yet you can’t remember its title nor seem to find it no matter how many times and ways you search your documents folder?

You re-share a piece from … 2017, updated slightly to make sense when read five years later. Wow, five years. Is it a sign of aging when half a decade seemed to zip by?

And now, back to our regular programming … or blogging. (And thank you in advance for your grace!)

***

When in the middle of a crisis, one word dominates my mind—help! I’d do anything, give up anything, if only God would come through. But oh how quickly pride and entitlement creep in, once the chaos has passed.

It was maybe ten years ago, we were living in a beautiful, spacious home in a gated community, attended a church we loved, and I spent my days doing what I loved—homeschooling our daughter.

In a flash, everything changed, leaving me scrambling, fearful, and crying out for aid.

Our daughter and I were sitting at the breakfast bar, completing her lessons, when I heard the familiar screech-rumble of the garage door opening. I glanced at the time, finding it strange that my husband would come home so early.

When he walked past me without a word a moment later, heading straight for our bedroom, I knew something was wrong.

I immediately followed.

The defeat I saw in his eyes tore at my heart, but what he said after weakened my knees.

That morning began a six-month bout of unemployment that left us scrambling and me crying out to God, “Help us, please! Fix this.”

Then one day, He did. By this point, we’d depleted the last of our savings, and, with all our belongings in storage, we’d moved to a 500 square-foot, furnished, rent-by-the-month apartment. My husband had found temporary contract work while continuing to seek something more permanent.

It’s interesting what happens, when life hits hard and everything is reduced to necessity. In that tiny apartment, with its cheap used furniture, paper-thin walls, and stained and torn linoleum, I learned to become content. To rejoice, actually, in what I had. By taking away our big, fancy house and all the other fluff I’d come to rely on, God granted me an incredible gift—the ability to cherish those things that mattered most—time with my husband and daughter.

So when His aid came and He opened a door for my husband at Union Pacific railroad in Kansas City, MO, I thought I’d arrived. I’d learned my lesson, had found contentment, and could move forward, receiving God’s blessings with open hands.

Open hands that, once they quit clinging to Christ, quickly grasped and strived, until my easily-swayed heart became consumed with a sense of entitlement. It started while house hunting. Needless to say, our budget had changed drastically, and the houses our realtor showed us looked much different than the large, newly built home we’d frantically sold in Louisiana. As we toured smaller, older, and less aesthetically appealing homes, a sense of entitlement emerged, initiating an ugly and growing discontentment.

It was as if I’d forgotten all God had done—how He’d held my family together, kept us from debt, and provided for us at just the right time.

I had fallen into the same pattern the Israelites had, after God miraculously freed them from slavery to Egypt, provided for them in the desert, and personally led them, by a pillar of fire by night and a sun-shielding cloud by day, to the Promised Land.

“They forgot what He had done—the great wonders He had shown them” (Psalm 78:11 NLT).

They forgot and became discontent, and their discontentment turned their hearts from God, from the One who saved them, the One who loved them, and who cared for them as a parent for their young.

There’s danger in forgetting. Or perhaps I should say, there’s incredible power in remembering all God’s done. It frees us from entitlement, keeps us humble, grateful, and I believe, surrendered with a heart that’s ready to receive whatever God has for us.

Let’s talk about this! Do you ever find yourself slipping into a sense of entitlement? Do you notice, when you do, that your discontentment and misery increases? What do you do to stay centered in gratitude and surrender? In what ways has God used life circumstances to purge the sense of entitlement from you? Share your stories, suggestions, and examples with us, because we can all learn from each other!

And make sure to check out the latest Your Daily Bible Verse podcast!

How to Trust God When You Fear What's Ahead (Genesis 31:2) – Your Daily Bible Verse

Finding Strength to Love Well This Christmas

by Jennifer Slattery on December 9, 2021December 8, 2021

(This post first published on December 5, 2019)

Unfortunately, when I most need Christ’s strength is often when I’m least apt to seek it. When I most feel rushed and overwhelmed, somehow I deceive myself into thinking I can handle the situation and my responses. And perhaps, for a while I can, but the more I rely on myself, the weaker and less loving and grace-filled I become.

As the bustle of Christmas approaches, along with the obligations and gatherings frequently attached to it, I’m reminding myself of this long-verified truth: I am hopeless and helpless without my Savior. Whenever I forget this and allow busyness to steal those precious, soul-fortifying moments I know I need, I reveal though I claim He’s the source of everything good and right within me, somewhere deep within I’ve believed a potentially destructive lie: That I’ve got this, whatever this may be. The longer I operate in that falsehood, the weaker I become and the closer I edge toward hurt and regret.

About five years ago, our family learned a local youth would soon be out of a home, so, though our schedules were full, we took this child in. Though we anticipated challenges, the arrangement proved exponentially more difficult than we could’ve imaged. The teen was hostile, rebellious, and prone to angry outbursts. Our once peaceful home soon morphed into one frequently filled with yelling and slamming doors.

I knew every destructive behavior this teen displayed came from a place of deep pain. I knew Jesus was the only One able to heal this child, and I so longed to continually point to the life-transforming power of Christ. I longed to reveal that power within me, through my words and actions. The problem was, I routinely felt overwhelmed, chasing one responsibility from the next, I had little time for anything other than what I call “shout out” prayers—those frantic requests tossed heavenward as one runs from problem or obligation to the next.

Whenever I put off my time with Christ, I quickly regretted this. I’d respond in frustration rather than grace, reflecting back what I’d received from the child rather than the love of my Savior. Yet each time I pulled away to rest in God’s presence, whether for a moment or ten, His peace washed over me, strengthening and refreshing me as He spoke tenderly to my soul. And almost always, He cleared my vision, giving me a depth of understanding, and with this, compassion, I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

Jesus put this it this way: “Remain in Me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me” (John 15:4, NIV).

Christ’s words make me think of Galatians 5:22-23, which says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law” (NIV).

Notice, the writer didn’t say, “Now the Spirit helps Jennifer produce love and joy and self-control.” No, it says the Holy Spirit produces these traits within me. As I yield to Him, His power expands within me, giving me strength in place of weakness, patience in place of frustration, and self-control where tempers once flared.

Christmas will be busy. I’ve long since succumbed to this truth, and likely events, recipes, and relational interactions won’t quite go as I’d hoped. I can’t prevent the oven from breaking, my neighbor from fuming, or great-aunt Janice from throwing a fit when traditions aren’t followed as she desires. But I can always draw near to my Savior and yield to His love and grace, flowing first within and then without, me. I’ll likely regret numerous things this holiday season, but I know with certainty I’ll never regret that.

Let’s talk about this. How do you stay connected to Christ during busy and stressful seasons? What are some ways you plan to prioritize your time with Him this Christmas.

You might find Wholly Loved’s latest Devotional, Intentional Holidays: Finding Peace in the Prince of Peace helpful:

This holiday season, God invites us to slow down our hustle and to trade our striving for resting and rejoicing. Immanuel, God with us, encourages us to hit pause in the middle of our crazy, beautiful, and not-so-glamorous moments to experience Him. No matter how busy our days, fragmented our minds, disrupted our plans, or frazzled our hearts, God beckons us to draw near so that we can live filled and refilled. We can experience peace, no matter our circumstances, through the Prince of Peace, our Savior.

Grab your copy HERE.

Additional resources:

Preparing Our Hearts For Christmas, Wholly Loved’s latest Bible reading plan on YouVersion:

This holiday season, take some time to slow down and reflect on God’s goodness and the precious gift of Christ with us.

Find it HERE.

Christ Came for the Outcasts

by Jennifer Slattery on December 3, 2020November 1, 2021

This holiday season, I invite you to look at the Christmas story through, perhaps, a difference lens—not just of all God did in giving us the gift of His Son—the promise of salvation, the prophesies fulfilled, the abiding presence of God for all who would believe.

All of those eternally glorious treasures came wrapped in that baby birthed by a poor yet faithful couple so long ago, and I praise God for that. But this story, told year after year and generation after generation, is more than a promise fulfilled and eternal hope proclaimed, as miraculous and glorious as those treasures are.

It’s also something of a hug for the outcast, the one who doesn’t feel good enough. It’s an invitation for all who feel rejected and insufficient. Through this precious child, God reaches out to everyone who’s ever believed the lie that they’re not good enough. Not smart, wealthy, prestigious enough, “righteous” enough.

All those who went to church seeking a Savior but encountered dress-code enforcers and rule-followers instead, and, feeling out of place, like they didn’t belong, sat in the back pew wondering if this Messiah, this King, could possibly see you.

I’ve been there. I’ve been the woman sitting at the back of the church who felt like she didn’t belong. And that’s why I love that God chose shepherds, a group of outcasts in their day, to proclaim His Son’s birth.

Luke 2:8-14 says,

⁸That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. ⁹Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, ¹⁰but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. ¹¹The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! ¹²And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

¹³Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,

¹⁴“Glory to God in highest heaven,
and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

Can you imagine what that must’ve felt like to those shepherds? There they were, minding their sheep, when an angel of God appeared to them, and the Lord’s glory surrounded them. This was a big deal, for a few reasons.

First, according to commentaries, shepherds were considered unreliable social outcasts, who, in the Talmud, weren’t allowed to act as witnesses in courts of law. According to theologian Warren Wiersbe, their work made them ceremonially unclean and kept them from the Temple, the center of Jewish life, for weeks at a time so that they couldn’t be “made clean.” In other words, they were considered “those types of people,” those you wouldn’t invite over to dinner or want to be seen with.

And yet, by God’s design, they were the first to hear of our Savior’s birth.

Scripture also tells us God’s glory surrounded them.

Also according to Wiersbe, this was the first time God’s glory had appeared on earth in centuries. If you’re familiar with God’s interaction with the Israelites, you know what a special role His glory played in their history.

It was God’s glory, visible in a pillar of cloud, that stood between them and a pursuing army when they were fleeing Egypt. God’s glory, once again visible in that same pillar of cloud by day, and a pillar of fire by night, led them, day after day, as they headed toward the land long promised them. When God gave Moses the 10 commandments, Scripture says His glory and brilliance rested on the mountain, and it looked like a consuming fire. Later, we learn God’s glory filled the Temple so completely, the priests couldn’t enter in.

God’s glory was His power and His presence, a miraculous display that left the Israelites in awe and assured them that the God of creation was with them. But then, because of their sin, God’s glory departed, and oh, the darkness that followed.

Until on that first quiet Christmas, when God once again appeared, not to kings or to priests or even devout prophets, but to dirty and unkempt shepherds who were quietly tending their sheep.

In this, God made clear that His grace, His presence, His invitation and love, is meant for you and me. We don’t have to clean ourselves up or make ourselves presentable to get to God. In Christ, He came to us.

This Christmas, whether surrounded by family and friends or quietly celebrating alone, may you remember that Christ reached down for you as well. May you sit in His glory this Christmas as you learn to live wholly loved.

How does it feel to know Creator God reached down to you?

If you’re struggling with grief and anxiety this holiday season, I encourage you to listen to our next Faith Over Fear podcast episode titled Finding Peace This Covid-19 Christmas. You can listen here:

When Your Loved One is an Alcoholic or Addict – Faith Over Fear

Retaining Our Power of Choice Each Day

by Jennifer Slattery on December 12, 2019November 1, 2021

(Taken from a lesson cut from Wholly Loved’s Unshakable, Unbreakable Joy study, releasing soon.)

I often decide, before my feet hit the floor, how my day will go. Will I be disappointed and frustrated or at peace and fulfilled? Will I be self-obsessed and therefore prideful or insecure or will I sift everything through a story more beautiful and enduring than anything I could ever dream of or achieve on my own?

We can decide how we will respond before difficulties and frustrations ever hit. When we cultivate a surrendered heart, life feels much easier, more joyful, and we’re less reactive. We can stand strong and faithful, empowered, no matter what we encounter.

So often, we forfeit our joy through default. We behave as if we’re victims to our circumstances and other people’s reactions and forget that God the enormity of God. We forget that He’s in all things, working through all things, and will ultimately redeem all things.

More than that, we allow life’s temporary challenges to overshadow the things of eternity.

My daughter is getting married this spring. By the time this study releases, the wedding, with all its glamor and chaos, laughter and tears, will be over. The vows will have been spoken. The guests, many of them family we see maybe once a year, will have come and gone. Those first dances—between my princess and her prince and my girl and her daddy—will be but memories and captured photographs. The spilled drinks will be mopped up, the trash carted away …

I have no idea what that day will bring, but here’s what I know: I’ll cherish every moment; I’ve already decided this, and I refuse to let temporary circumstances and mishaps steal what’s most precious. Those moments, whether celebrated or bemoaned, that I’ll never be able to get back. Knowing this, I will choose celebration over bemoaning.

I refuse to allow inconsequential details distract me from my part and enjoyment of the bigger story.

I wonder, what might my life, my joy, and my effectiveness might look like if I made this decision daily, no matter the situation? If I began with an attitude of surrender and determined to remain there? If I didn’t allow the problems of today to distract me from the glory of eternity.

When our daughter was young and I felt perpetually insecure, I carried 2 Timothy 2:4 in my pocket. It says: “No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer” (NIV). Or to phrase it differently, no one called to serve an eternal king becomes entangled in daily drama. They remain focused on their higher calling.

If you were to pick up any of my copious Bibles stacked on my shelves, you’d likely find one phrase underlined again and again: “a servant of Christ.” That was perhaps Paul’s favorite way to introduce himself. This was the mindset he maintained. More than anything else, more than being a church leader or pastor or traveling evangelist or even husband, he was a slave of Christ. Nothing else mattered, and therefore nothing else had the power to defeat or derail him.

I want to live with such focus, such purpose, each and every day. Thanks to Christ in me, I can.

So can you.

Let’s talk about this! Can you share a time when you chose surrender in a chaotic or unpleasant situation? What helped you make that choice and what was the result? Share your comments, thoughts, and stories with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another.

You might find Wholly Loved’s latest Devotional, Intentional Holidays: Finding Peace in the Prince of Peace helpful:

Grab your copy HERE.

Additional resources:

Preparing Our Hearts For Christmas, Wholly Loved’s latest Bible reading plan on YouVersion:

This holiday season, take some time to slow down and reflect on God’s goodness and the precious gift of Christ with us.

Find it HERE.

Additional resources:

Freedom From Self-Sufficiency (video)

Choose a Positive Attitude, Pastor Rick McDaniel

Don’t Let a Bad Attitude Rule Your Life (Proverbs 31 Ministries)