Hope or Hazing?

Have you ever said something then wished you hadn’t? Sent an email that made your stomach knot the moment you released it into cyberspace? Other times, something seemingly innocent slips out that, without us knowing it, negatively affects our listener. Today Jamie Wright reminds us to choose our words carefully, because our words do matter. In fact, if used correctly, they may even matter for all eternity.

I’ve been hazed. Did you realize the power of words extends beyond your writing, beyond your conversation, and into the mental psyche of those who hear/read your words?

When I was expecting my first child, I experienced “hazing” that cut me deeply and drove a knife into my heart. Here’s a bit how the conversations went:

Me: Wow. 11 hours of sleep last night rocked. I love sleep on a cold Autumn night.
Other Person: Enjoy it while it lasts. You’ll never sleep again once the baby is born.

Or ….

Me: I can’t wait to see my little girl smile when daddy walks in the room.
Other Person: Ha! Then burst in colicky fits of screams that you can’t solve and break your ear drums after 4 hours of non-stop sobbing.

Or – is this one better …

Me: I love 24. It’s my favorite TV show … Jack Bauer … yeah! I can’t wait for January.
Other Person: January? JANUARY!! You’ll never watch anything but Dora the Explorer again. Maybe you can catch the seasons of 24 that you missed when you enter retirement in 2040.

WHAT IT FELT LIKE THE “OTHER PERSON” was REALLY trying to say in all those scenarios was: The demon child will soon come with pitchfork in hand and skewer any sense of earthly paradise you may have left in your soul. Beware. Your personal hell is about to begin.

Aren’t children a gift from God? When did they grow horns? I’m not sure. And, if I was one of those annoying new mothers who just rolls with it even when my baby keeps me up for all hours and I still have a smile on my face and my hair looks good … why throw darts at me? Maybe … I just saw a few more blessings. Or maybe I’m delusional. Sometimes delusion is a beautiful thing.

The written and spoken word is a POWERFUL thing – it can be hazing or instill hoping. As a writer, I pray that my words either written or spoken, bring with it the hope of the Lord’s beautiful creation, amazing grace, and supernatural sense of peace (laced with my sinful sense of sarcasm, I suppose). lol

Have you experienced your own hazing of sorts spurred by words? I’d love to know. Because I really hope that in the midst of my own personal hazing, I haven’t been hazing someone else in another way … my apologies if I have.

Jamie Wright, the Writer of Historical Romance Stained With Suspense

Professional coffee drinker, Jaime Wright, resides in the hills of Wisconsin writing historical romance with a distinct emphasis on suspense. Her day job finds Jaime directing an HR Office and developing her employees and their training programs. She’s wife to a rock climbing youth pastor, mom to a coffee-drinking little girl and a bottle-drinking baby boy, and completes her persona by being an admitted Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Blogspot junkie. Jaime is a member of ACFW, enjoys mentorship from a best-selling author, and has the best critique partners EVER! (yes, that’s an exclamation point)

In her “down time”, Jaime reads voraciously, socializes incessantly, drinks coffee addictively, and overuses “-ly” words excessively.

Visit her online at:  http://coffeecupsandcamisoles.blogspot.com

Contact her via Email at: jaimewrightbooks at gmail dot com
Like Jaime on Facebook 
Friend Jaime on Twitter
Meet Jaime on Pinterest
Jaime’s old blog/archives – The Jaime Reports

We’d love to hear from you. Life is hard. Surrounded by negativity, it becomes even harder. Have you found this to be true? And do you find it easy to speak hope into people’s lives? Why or why not? I know as a mom, it’s easy to fall into a “constructive” rut where I’m spending more time training and correcting than building up and nurturing. When that happens, God normally reminds me to step back and open wide my hugging arms. 🙂 What about you?


  1. I heard a lot of hazing during my first few weeks of nursing my son. Everyone (it seemed like it at least) has something negative to say about how it wouldn’t work. I’m sure…or at least I hope…their intentions were to help me not be disappointed if things didn’t go quite the way I intended. But the words cut me like a knife. Thankfully things worked out with my son and nursing. And it helped me to make sure my words are cautious and encouraging to new moms.

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