Most resolutions fail because they focus on cleaning the outside of the cup (Matt. 23:25)—behavior modification—without dealing with the internal factors that fuel our actions. True and lasting change goes much deeper, to that which drives everything else—our good habits and bad, our acts of love and sin, and our fears and our faith. 

God revealed this truth to me decades ago when I was battling what seemed like an unconquerable eating disorder and intense emotions that often felt out of control. I went to church on Sundays and sang about the all-encompassing grace of Christ, determining to love others like He loved me, only to snap at my daughter, gossip about a friend, and get into an ugly fight with my husband once home. I was a mess, as was my marriage and some of my closest friendships. I knew I needed to live differently if I wanted to experience the joy and peace Christ promised, if I wanted to be the “new creation” Scripture proclaimed. (2 Cor. 5:17).

“Lord, help me, please,” I cried, night after night, making all sorts of promises to Him and myself: The next I day would be different. I’d be more loving, kinder. I’d use words that built up rather than tore others down and wouldn’t get so caught up with the bathroom scale or what I consumed. I’d read my Bible and pray more.

I developed quite a list of dos and don’ts, habits I wanted to incorporate and those I wanted to drop, and a strong desire to follow through. And if I tried hard, if I remained focused on my goals, I could reach them … for a few days, a week, sometimes even a month. 

But I never found freedom. 

Then one night, after having broken my vows yet again, I poured my heart out to God. I felt so weak, like such a failure. I remained there for some time, tears streaming down my face as all my flaws replayed through my mind. But then God shined His light deep into my soul, revealing the roots of my behaviors and why I wasn’t living in the victory Christ had already won for me. 

My battle wasn’t over what I did or didn’t eat, say or do. My problem stemmed from my heart: misplaced loves. Idolatry of myself. Turning to food, entertainment, or shopping for comfort instead of pursuing the soul-deep healing that can only come from Christ. 

That was a life-changing moment for me that I’ve never forgotten, one that has radically changed my goals. Because I know, if my heart is right and fully centered on Christ, everything else will follow. (Proverbs 4:23).

Or to phrase it differently: every behavior, the positive and negative, and accidentally blurted word, flows from the heart. 

So, here’s what I plan to focus on in the year ahead: 

• I will create margin in my day and week to sit quietly with my Savior, knowing anything good in me comes from Him. And I’ll learn to practice “the pause” more consistently—when I sense frustration, pride, or selfishness rising within, when anxious thoughts threaten my peace, or simply when I begin to feel fatigued. With God’s help, I’ll remember to close my eyes, to breathe deeply, and remind myself of His presence, if only for a moment, knowing every minute spent with Him fortifies my soul. 

• I’ll trust God to fight my battles. My all-powerful Creator handles them much better than I do, anyway. He knows everything I’m facing, all that lies ahead, and how He plans to use it all for my good and His glory. 

• I will learn to live in my true identity as His beloved and empowered child, because I know how identity impacts behavior. I won’t live as an orphan who must earn God’s love, who must hide from Him when I fail. Instead, I will consistently turn to Him, my tender and attentive Father, to receive mercy, strength and comfort in my time of need. (Hebrews 4:13). And I will listen for His guidance, knowing He is growing and healing me day by day and prayer by prayer. 

I invite you to join me as together, we choose growth over perfection and connecting with Christ over striving, because that is the life to which we’ve been called; the life Christ died to give us.

Consider that habit you’ve long tried to break, that behavior you’ve consistently fought against. What might God want to reveal regarding its root?  

Some resources to help you stand firm in faith and experience increased freedom in the year ahead:

Fighting Fear With Faith: 30 Daily inspirational messages sent directly to your inbox. Subscribe HERE.

Your Daily Bible Verse podcast: Each 6-10 episode discusses one or two verses and how we can apply their truths to our lives. Listen HERE.

Faith Over Fear podcast: Each episode tackles common fears that hinder our freedom and our calling while discussing the truths that expel them. Listen HERE.

Grow closer to Christ through one of Wholly Loved’s Bible reading plans found HERE.

~*~

Connect with Jennifer Slattery on Facebook or Instagram

Sometimes in my most stressful moments, especially this season, I sense God asking me, “Why is this thing you’re fretting over so important?”

Have you ever paused to consider that question? When you’re frustrated because your grocery store is out of fresh green beans and you’ll have to buy frozen? Or maybe when you’ve searched ten stores for that item you know your spouse or child wants and still haven’t found it? Or when you’ve been too busy or tired to put up decorations or to perform whatever task you’re certain will make this Christmas perfect?

Maybe this is a sign of my age, but I’m learning to appreciate and prioritize the most important things. Or, perhaps to phrase it differently, I don’t want to forfeit a peaceful home and heart, relaxed time with my family, silliness and laughter, and memory-making moments for a perfectly roasted turkey. In fact, if I had to choose between eating convenient store hot dogs with my family and a perfect holiday meal surrounded by tension and strife, I’d choose the former every time.

I suspect if asked, most of us would say the same. We just need periodic reminders.

Reminders that:

• Our attitudes will affect our joy, and potentially our loved ones’ as well, this Christmas more than any gift we give or receive.
• The house we so frantically clean before company comes over, if used well, will soon become cluttered with jackets placed here and there, discarded wrapping paper, dirty dishes in the sink, and plump little handprints on our windows.
• Many of the presents we spend so much on this year will eventually be long forgotten.
• Our smiles, our kind words, the atmosphere of peace and joy we help create, and the way others feel when they’re around us–those are the gifts people will remember for a lifetime.

And when we begin to carry the weight of trying to please someone else, to somehow prove, through our cooking or decorating, cleaning or baking, that we’re a good mother or wife or human being, may we pause and ask ourselves, “Is that really what I choose to be defined by?” And, “Is this person I feel compelled to impress worth my joy and peace?” And perhaps most importantly, “Why does this person trigger my fears of rejection so?”

Because here’s the thing. We might think someone else–their critical or judgmental nature–causes our anxiety. In reality, our inner angst reveals wounding within us and places where we aren’t fully anchored in our true identity in Christ.

This means our most uncomfortable interactions are actually personal growth and healing opportunities. May we see them as invitations to slow down and seek God’s heart, allowing Him to search every wounded and insecure crevice within us, so that He can heal and then fill it with His love.

Oh, what a gift that will be! One that will extend far beyond our tinsel, burnt gingerbread cookies, and over-cooked stuffing.

This, my friends, is the message of Christmas: You are loved. You are loved in your dirty house, cookie-fail, dry turkey, imperfect state by the One who entered into our world to show us what true love looks like.

What’s more you are loved to love. Honestly, that’s our only assignment this Christmas, the one way we can create the most precious–and eternally enduring–memories.

Priceless moments, if we prioritize our to-do list above our presence, that we could easily forfeit.

Friends, that’s much too high a price to pay for any four-course meal, no matter how savory.

What are some things you can release this Christmas, be they seemingly necessary but truly inconsequential tasks, a peace-stealing desire for protection or a drive to please someone who perhaps you can never please-to hold tight to magnify the joy of Christ within you? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

If you struggle with a fear of rejection, you might find THIS encouragement helpful. I also encourage you to sign up for my 30 Days of Fighting Fear With Faith Campaign. Then you will receive daily truths designed to increase your godly confidence and freedom. You can sign up HERE.

And make sure to listen to the latest Faith Over Fear episode.

Healthy Boundaries for Compassionate People – Faith Over Fear

Some relationships leave us feeling anxious, emotionally drained and unsure how to move forward. We want to love well, extend grace and remain faithful to God's call, yet we often find ourselves carrying burdens that were never ours to bear. In this episode, Jennifer Slattery sits down with pastor, author and biblical counselor Brad Hambrick to discuss what healthy boundaries are, what they aren't and why establishing them can feel so difficult—especially for compassionate people. Together, they explore the difference between sacrificial love and self-neglect, how to recognize unhealthy relational patterns, why boundaries are ultimately an issue of stewardship and what Scripture teaches about navigating difficult relationships with wisdom and grace. If you've ever struggled with guilt, fear of disappointing others or uncertainty about when to step back, this conversation will provide practical guidance and biblical encouragement. Scripture referenced or discussed: Matthew 7:3–5; John 2:24-25; Romans 13:1–4; Philippians 2:5–8; Philippians 1:6 Connect with Pastor Brad Hambrick: On his website On Instagram On Facebook Find Jennifer Slattery: On her website Instagram Facebook Amazon Subscribe to her free newsletter   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

1. Healthy Boundaries for Compassionate People 33:34
2. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back 28:18
3. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships 35:01
4. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free 18:40
5. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety 30:51

If this Christmas feels hard, you might enjoy Grace Fox’s short Bible discussion on Matthew 1:23 titled Good News For When Christmas Feels Anything But Joyous.

And … if you’re on Facebook, I invite you to join me for a fun book launch party where I’ll be giving away copies of my upcoming release, Her Small Town Refuge.

About the book:

To secure the future she’s been wishing for,

she must earn her boss’s trust.

Escaping to the Texas Hill Country with her daughter for a vet tech internship is Stephanie Thornton’s chance at a safer life. But when medicine goes missing from Caden Stoughton’s struggling vet clinic, all evidence points to Stephanie. With the new life she’s been searching for hanging in the balance, Stephanie must convince Caden to trust her with his business…and his heart.

Find it HERE.

By Jodie Bailey

(This post first published HERE.)

I clearly remember the Christmas when I was broken. When I felt like heaven was closed and there was no way God was thinking of me.

It was the same Christmas that Jesus put me back together again and reminded me that He sees me. He sees you. Always.

I was 21, in college, and working part-time processing foreclosures for a real estate attorney. My aunt–who was more like a mother–was dying. My family had gone through a series of faith-challenging events that had left us rattled. I was lonely, scared and, frankly, exhausted. Honestly, I hardly recognized myself. 

Needless to say, the week before Christmas I was not feeling the spirit. At all! I was seeking joy in lights and tinsel and gifts, but it simply wasn’t there.

The week before Christmas I was not feeling the Christmas spirit. I was seeking joy in lights and tense and gifts, but it simply wasn’t there.

Our office adopted a family for Christmas and purchased a small tree which, it turned out, they didn’t need. I had our office manager put it in my car so I could deliver it to a friend who couldn’t afford one for Christmas, but as I was leaving work, my friend said she didn’t want one because the family had chosen to be content with what they had. On top of my already foul mood, the refusal of that tree felt insulting.

So there I was, in full Grinch mode, with a live Christmas tree in my backseat and nowhere to take it. 

To add insult to injury, when I got in the car, the gas needle read empty, so I stopped at a station where I almost never stopped. Back then, you had to go inside and pre-pay, so off I went. The guy at the next pump looked at my car and, all Christmas smiles, said, “Hey! Are you headed home to decorate your tree?”

I’m sure he didn’t expect my response as I stomped by him. “Nope. I don’t even want the thing. You can have it.”

When I came back outside, a woman was standing by my car. I’ll never forget her. She had long light brown hair and was wearing jeans and a brown sweater. She was maybe ten years older than I was and she looked as tired as I felt. When I walked up, she hesitantly said, “Did I hear you say you were giving away the tree in your car?”

When I offered her my sharp yes, the wildest thing happened.  

She started to cry.  

Pointing to her car at the next pump over, she said, “I lost my job and just told my kids today that we couldn’t afford a tree for Christmas. And here you are, giving one away.”

I honestly don’t remember if she said anything after that. I was too stunned: literally shocked into silence which, if you know me, rarely happens. I do remember her helping me get the tree out of my backseat and into hers and watching her drive away.  

That feeling still hits me when I think about that cloudy, damp, cold evening. A sense of right. Of purpose. Of God never forgetting us and never turning a blind eye to our lives. After all, He says over and over in His Word that He will never leave us or forsake us.

See, I was not my best prayerful self during that time of my life.  I’d prayed and prayed for God to move, but the sickness and death kept coming. I was angry with Him for what I perceived to be His silent indifference. It felt like my family was at the bottom of a pit waiting for someone to bury us. Adding to the pain, I was coming out of a season of personal choices I had never imagined I was capable of making. I felt forsaken, hopeless, and alone: like God had opted to turn away from me.

I often wonder if that lady at the gas station felt the same. Jobless and alone at Christmas, trying to care for her children, possibly with no help in sight. But there, in the fluorescent lights of a suburban gas station, God stopped us both. He made sure we saw one another. He reminded both of us that He is exactly who Hagar proclaimed him to be in Genesis 16:1, “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.’” 

God stopped us both. He made sure we saw one another. He reminded both of us that He is exactly who Hagar proclaimed Him to be in Genesis 16:13.

Sometimes it feels like we’re lost in our circumstances or choices, like God has turned His back on us. But He hasn’t. Over and over again, He promises never to leave us or forsake us. He says it in Deuteronomy 31:6 and 8, Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5-6… and in so many more verses. My daughter’s childhood favorite, Joshua 1:9, says it clearly: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

We might feel alone and unseen, but we never are. Ever! God is always there, always working one step ahead of us, even when we don’t see it.” Because who’d have ever thought a tree bought for one family would make its way into the hands of a Grinch who God would use to bless another family? 

Trust that He sees you and He’s at work, even when circumstances seem dire. And that, as He said in Habakkuk 1:5b, “For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.”

Have you ever felt lost and unseen?  Looking back, can you see how God revealed that He really did see you?  Maybe it was an unexpected phone call or an exceptionally beautiful sunrise. Take a moment to look at those dark times in a different light, searching for those moments when God said, “Hello, dear one. I am right here with you.”

Get to Know Jodie:

Jodie Bailey is the USA Today Bestselling author of over twenty inspirational romance novels. She is passionate about writing stories that tell the truth about freedom in Christ. As an Army wife, her favorite heroes to write about are naturally soldiers. She believes that chocolate, coffee, and the beach can cure all ills. Jodie lives in North Carolina with her husband, her kiddo, and a yellow lab who is pretty certain she is the center of the universe.

Visit her online.

Check out her latest release, Captured at Christmas:

An undercover investigation

becomes a mission to keep everyone alive

Undercover with an infantry unit to investigate a theft, military investigator Captain Rachel Blake doesn’t expect the holiday assignment to turn into a protection mission. But when Captain Marshall Slater and his little girl are targeted, she blows her cover to help shield them. Can she figure out the assailant’s motives and stop the attacks before someone ends up dead?

Buy it HERE.

Make sure to check out the latest Faith Over Fear episode:

Healthy Boundaries for Compassionate People – Faith Over Fear

Some relationships leave us feeling anxious, emotionally drained and unsure how to move forward. We want to love well, extend grace and remain faithful to God's call, yet we often find ourselves carrying burdens that were never ours to bear. In this episode, Jennifer Slattery sits down with pastor, author and biblical counselor Brad Hambrick to discuss what healthy boundaries are, what they aren't and why establishing them can feel so difficult—especially for compassionate people. Together, they explore the difference between sacrificial love and self-neglect, how to recognize unhealthy relational patterns, why boundaries are ultimately an issue of stewardship and what Scripture teaches about navigating difficult relationships with wisdom and grace. If you've ever struggled with guilt, fear of disappointing others or uncertainty about when to step back, this conversation will provide practical guidance and biblical encouragement. Scripture referenced or discussed: Matthew 7:3–5; John 2:24-25; Romans 13:1–4; Philippians 2:5–8; Philippians 1:6 Connect with Pastor Brad Hambrick: On his website On Instagram On Facebook Find Jennifer Slattery: On her website Instagram Facebook Amazon Subscribe to her free newsletter   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

1. Healthy Boundaries for Compassionate People 33:34
2. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back 28:18
3. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships 35:01
4. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free 18:40
5. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety 30:51

And the latest Your Daily Bible Verse podcast episode:

When You Can't Carry Life Alone (Job 6:14) – Your Daily Bible Verse

Today's Bible Verse: "Anyone who withholds kindness for a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty." — Job 6:14 Job 6:14 reveals the deep need for compassion and support during seasons of suffering. In the middle of his pain, Job expresses the loneliness he feels when those around him fail to offer the comfort and understanding he desperately needs. His words remind us that even the strongest people need encouragement when life becomes overwhelming. Want to listen without ads? Become a BibleStudyTools.com PLUS Membertoday: https://www.biblestudytools.com/subscribeLooking for a peaceful way to end your day?  Listen to "Your Nightly Scripture" to end your day with God's word Meet Today’s Host: Carol Ogle McCracken Carol Ogle McCracken is a dynamic Christian speaker, author, and Bible teacher known for her warmth, humor, and transparency. She brings biblical truths to life through real-world stories and relatable experiences—whether navigating alcohol recovery, parenting a child with special needs, or walking through divorce. Today, she serves as Minister of Discipleship at her local church and shares God’s Word through women's retreats, conferences, and online devotionals. Her book, Wisdom: Where to Find It if You’ve Lost, Forgotten, or Never Had It, was released in 2020 and continues to encourage readers in their pursuit of godly wisdom. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

1. When You Can't Carry Life Alone (Job 6:14) 08:36
2. Shifting from Comparison to Preparation (Ruth 2:12) 06:25
3. Where is The Food That Doesn't Spoil? (John 6:27) 06:44
4. God’s Preparation Before the Crisis (John 16:33) 09:25
5. How to Quiet Your Soul & Find Rest in God (Psalm 131:2) 07:20

Connect with Jennifer on Facebook and follow her on Instagram.