When those we reach out to ask us to leave them alone

(The below is a transcript, edited slightly, taken from an iBelieve video devotion.)

We know God commanded us to love, right? Sometimes, the “how” related to that seems clear, like when we serve at a homeless soup kitchen, pray with a hurting friend, or prioritize relationships with friends and family. But what if the person we reach out to consistently pushes us away? How do we know when to persevere, doing our best to initiate connection, and when to respectfully honor the other person’s wishes?

A while ago, I recorded two episodes on loving those who are hard to love. Matt Maciera, the founder of Be Bold Ministries, joined me, for one of the episodes. You can find the second HERE.) In both, I discussed some of the fears you and I might face when attempting to love others as Jesus does us. If fear tends to be your greatest outreach challenge, I encourage you to take a listen. 

What I didn’t cover, however, was how to respond when someone tells you to leave them alone. What is more loving? To honor their request or to persevere in an effort to break through whatever barriers are keeping them in isolation or bondage? 

Or, maybe you’re a parent trying to faithfully raise your kids, or lead children in a school or Sunday School classroom. When they misbehave, how do you know when to offer grace and when to enforce consequences? Perhaps you’re facing the same dilemma with adult employees or those on your ministry team. 

There are times when I find God’s call to love confusing, especially because my heart can be so self-deceptive. My pride and desire to self-protect can taint even my most benevolent acts and desires. I can even convince myself that my selfishly-motivated, prideful, or self-protecting inclinations are from God. 

Therefore, if I want to love well, I must regularly seek God’s deep soul-cleansing. In 1 Timothy 1:5, Paul, a first century apostle who wrote much of the New Testament stated, “The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith” (NIV).

quote pulled from post

Pure love flows from a pure heart. One without mixed motives or the infection of sin. I don’t believe we can reach that state apart from God. He sees gunk in us we’re not even aware of, and this deep-cleansing God does, it’s a continual process. Because if you’re anything like me, selfishness and pride can rise up mere moments after your prayer time. 

I don’t know who God is calling you to love today, or who He might call you to love tomorrow, or the day after that. I don’t know if that person will welcome your efforts or consistently push you away. Nor do I know how God wants you to respond. But I do know you’ll be better able to hear God’s voice, to sense His guidance, and to respond, when you, by His power and grace, maintain a pure heart. One regularly cleansed–and filled–by Christ. 

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Before you go, have you registered for Wholly Loved’s upcoming gala? It is going to be such fun! Find out more HERE.

A quick note, for those who connect with me on Facebook or through Messenger, FB has currently blocked my account (I have no idea why). Therefore I encourage you to reach out to me through this website or Instagram.

God’s Promise to Place The Lonely in Families – Ep. 104 Faith Over Fear

Sadly, we live in an increasingly disconnected culture where many people are forced to endure the pain of loneliness. Others, perhaps having felt isolated in the past, have developed a strong fear of loneliness. Still others, due to previous wounds, have come to expect rejection and, out of fear of future hurt, remain in emotional hiding. If any of these scenarios resonate with you, be encouraged: God planted the need for connection deep within the human heart, which means He doesn’t want us to live disconnected and He invites us to trust Him to lead us to those with whom we can feel seen, known, and loved. Find the Ephesians Bible Reading plan at:https://my.bible.com/reading-plans/25255Find Wholly Loved at:https://www.WhollyLoved.comFind out about Wholly Loved’s small groups at:https://whollyloved.com/resources/online-studies/Find Wholly Loved Ministries at:WhollyLoved.comJoin the private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/442736966614671Join the Private Wholly Loved Community Group (also on Facebook):https://www.facebook.com/groups/443325386241769Group Discussion Questions:1. When have you felt unknown and unseen? 2. Consider your typical interactions. Do you tend to feel rejected or accepted? If you feel rejected, how have past hurts impacted this, if at all?3. When have you felt seen and known? 4. How does it feel to know that God cares about your relationships and doesn’t want you to feel alone? 5. If you struggle with loneliness, are there places you can go or clubs you can join in order to build connections? If so, where?6. How would you describe the health of your faith community?7. If you cannot go to people, how can you use technology in order to connect with others? 8. What are some truths you can remind yourself of the next time you feel unvalued and unseen?
  1. God’s Promise to Place The Lonely in Families – Ep. 104
  2. Trusting God’s Promise to Give Us Abundant Life – Ep. 103
  3. Trusting God’s Promise to Give Our Lives Purpose – Ep. 102
  4. Trusting God's Presence to Guide Us – Ep. 101
  5. Trusting God’s Promise to Remain Present – Ep. 100

Also, make sure to catch the latest Faith Over Fear episode:

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