(Note: This first published on April 22, 2021.)

We pray differently when we recognize God as our Father. Not in a figurative, authority figure sense or as a harsh rule enforcer, but as the benevolent, attentive, dare I even say doting all-powerful Dad that He is. When we don’t understand or fully embrace those truths, we tend to approach God hesitantly. Maybe even apologetically. We say things like, “I know others are dealing with so much worse, but could You please …” Or, “I hate to bother You with this, Lord …”

I don’t think my daughter has ever approached a conversation with me or my husband with such disclaimers. I have, however, witnessed this hesitation in youth our family has taken in over the years. Kids who come from rough places and who’ve developed a distorted view of the parent-child relationship, and ultimately, a skewed understanding of love. Of themselves as well.

Past hurts and abandonments, often by the very people who were supposed to keep them safe, tainted their perspectives. They struggled to recognize, understand, and fully accept their worth. As a result, if they sought my help, or my ear, at all, they did so timidly, entering my room or office with eyes downcast, as if their very presence irritated me.

The opposite is true. When they approached me with confidence, with honest and unfiltered requests, I didn’t find them rude or bothersome. I was filled with joy because their actions revealed trust—of me and my love. I knew they’d begun to see themselves less as a tenant or guest and more like a beloved child. That’s when the depth of relationship my heart desired was both built and revealed.

If you’re a parent, you can probably understand what I mean. Maybe you’re smiling at a memory of your son or daughter running into your bedroom, begging for a pony or something else you had no intention of granting. Or asking for protection from monsters you knew don’t exist. I doubt their pleas irritated you. In fact, you probably came to expect this. You expected them to ask for the big things and the small, the things you loved to grant and those you lovingly withheld. That was your role—to decide what requests to fulfill or deny, just as it was their proper place to ask.

Jesus offered us, His beloved, this same invitation when He said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7, NIV). He then shared an analogy intended to deepen our understanding of our Heavenly Father at His core and who we are to Him.

 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?” Jesus said. “Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:9-10, NIV).

If we interpret Christ’s words as a promise to grant all of our desires, we’ll become disappointed and disillusioned. If we receive His words as the caring invitation they are, however, our confidence in Him and His heart for us grows—regardless of His response.

He truly is a good, loving, faithful, and attentive Father always focused on our best. His heart is for us always, and He longs to grant us not just good things, as Jesus so clearly proclaimed, but full access to Himself as our Savior, our Creator, and as our Dad. That doesn’t mean He wants us to embrace a flippant and entitled attitude. That’s not relationship; that’s not love. But He does want us to come. To come often, to come easily, and to come with the boldness of someone who knows they are indeed wholly, eternally, and oh, so deeply loved.

Pause to consider your common approach to prayer. Do you proceed to God’s throne with the confidence of a child of God and heir of grace (Hebrews 4:16) or with the timidity of a tenant?

What might God need to do within your heart to help you more readily and authentically draw closer to Him?

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back – Faith Over Fear

In this opening episode of our new Faith Over Fear series, Relational Peace: Loving Others Without Losing Yourself, Carol sits down with Bible teacher and author Becky Harling for an honest conversation about the subtle ways we lose ourselves inside relationships. Together, they explore how fear, people-pleasing, overfunctioning, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can quietly erode our peace, identity, and emotional health. Becky shares practical wisdom on boundaries, friendship, emotional dependency, and how Jesus modeled deep love without losing Himself in the process. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else’s emotions or guilty for needing rest, this episode offers biblical encouragement and practical next steps toward healthier, Christ-centered relationships. In This Episode, learn: Why people-pleasing is often fear in disguise The difference between healthy love and self-erasure How Jesus modeled boundaries and emotional health Signs you may be losing yourself in relationships Why Christian women and men especially struggle with overextending What healthy friendships actually look like Practical tools for saying no without guilt How to love others without carrying their emotional weight Scripture References Mark 1:35–38 Proverbs 4:23 John 2:24 Ephesians 2:10 I think I got them all? Key TakeawayHealthy relationships are not built on fear, guilt, or emotional exhaustion. They’re built on truth, grace, wisdom, honesty, and an identity firmly rooted in Christ. Find Becky Harling:  On her website On Facebook On Instagram On Amazon Find Carol McCracken: On her website  On Facebook On Instagram Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

1. Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Find Our Way Back 28:18
2. Recognizing and Breaking Free from Harmful Relationships 35:01
3. From Bondage to Abundance: One Woman's Testimony About Learning to Live Free 18:40
4. How God Helps Us Get to and Resolve the Root of Our Anxiety 30:51
5. Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm Through Time With Christ 27:15

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