Relationships can lead to great joy and fulfillment, but they can also trigger significant anxiety and pain. While God can, and often does, bring healing, restoration, and wholeness to some of our most challenging relationships, sadly, some connections remain fractured.

This often leaves us wrestling with difficult and confusing questions like, how do we love others well, in a godly and healthy way, without inviting continual injury? How can we protect our hearts from what is harmful while nourishing it with everything life giving and true? How do we grieve well, without bitterness, and while holding tightly to hope?

Or perhaps to phrase it differently, how do we experience the victorious, thriving life Christ promised in every situation? Without allowing other people’s behavior to negatively affect ours?

Is this even possible?

These were some of the questions I addressed last weekend when I spoke to a group of women in Rockford, Michigan. While there, I heard stories of deep mother-daughter wounds. Of seemingly irreparably broken friendships. And listening, I recalled the hurt others had shared withe me shortly before. Of challenging marriages and shattered trust. And on occasion, of situations where women realized, despite their longing for reconciliation, wisdom required distance. And in every instance, I heard sorrow expressed.

I could relate. I imagine you can, too. We’ve all suffered the effects of living in a sin-tainted world that is far from what God intended; far from the joyful paradise for which we’re destined.

We are all living somewhere within the messy middle, and that hurts. But that doesn’t mean we can’t receive joy and peace amidst the storm. While I’m still on this journey of becoming and receiving, God has and is teaching me some things regarding how to thrive, even while my soul aches.

I’m learning to give myself space to mourn, and to recognize the holy thread woven through my grief. God created us to give and receive love, without fear or injury. To crave emotional intimacy and healthy connection. That is what we’re destined for, and therefore the states for which we’ll always long.

But God’s showed me that I also must always grieve with hope, keeping my heart open to the possibility that, one day, things might change. This is and may always feel hard—finding a way to accept what is without hardening myself against potential miracles to come. Even if that means my heart remains a little bruised.

In the meantime, I seek God’s perspective—of my hurts, the other person, and the situation—recognizing my perspective is limited, tainted by scars previously incurred, including past interactions with the individual, and often deceived. Once He’s corrected my view, or removed my plank, so to speak, I ask for His guidance on how to proceed. He usually only tells me my next couple steps, and that always involves resting in Him.

Receiving from Him.

Letting Him fill my soul—with Him. The God who knows me fully, loves me completely, and will never leave.

The God who says to each of us, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:10, NIV).

Let’s talk about this. How do you heal, nourish, and protect your heart when others wound it?

When Blessings Bring Uncertainty (Genesis 21) Faith Over Fear

Even blessings bring change, and change can bring difficulties and uncertainty. Facing the unknown, we may find ourselves slipping toward increased anxiety and fear. In those moments, will we turn to ourselves, feed our fears and doubts with what if scenarios, or hold tight to Christ and His promises?  (Scroll down for discussion/reflective questions.) Have you ever received a blessing from God that didn’t quite look like you thought it would?  What happened? How did you handle the situation? How can you comfort someone whose life is not going the way they thought it would? Can you think of a hard time in your life when, looking back, you can see how God moved?  How can you find blessings in the hard times of your life? When you have to make a hard decision like Abraham did with Ishmael, how can you make sure you’re following God’s will? How does God's grace provide a path for redemption in the face of our own mistakes? What are the consequences of choosing fear instead of faith when it comes to trusting in God's plan? Find Jodie Bailey: On her website On Facebook On Instagram Find Kelly Campbell: WhollyLoved.com Find Wholly Loved: On their website Join the private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group  Join the Private Wholly Loved Community Facebook GroupSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  1. When Blessings Bring Uncertainty (Genesis 21)
  2. Break the Grip of Anxiety & Worry: What You Can Do to Stop Stress | Breathe
  3. When You Fear You've Blown Your Calling (Genesis 20)
  4. Faith and Fear (Genesis 18)
  5. Trusting God to be All-Sufficient (Genesis 17)

johnstudy1

(Note: This first published on October 20, 2016.)

Do you ever feel like God is calling you to do things that guarantee you to a life of obscurity? Financial struggle? Does it feel like His call–to die to yourself, to do what’s right whenever everyone else is conniving to get ahead–places you at a disadvantage?

Many of us know intellectually that God’s way is best and that serving Him in whatever capacity truly will be the most fulfilling thing we could ever do, so what keeps us from resting in that?

profileTempted: When the World Fights Against Your Purpose

Julie Arduini

I’m so thankful to be part of Jennifer Slattery’s study on John the Baptist. He’s an inspiring person to me because he had a pioneer spirit, something I can relate to. When I’ve been mentored, the Biblical example given to me was John the Baptist. The hard part? He was beheaded.

His death wasn’t fair. Not the manner in which it was executed, not the frivolous way it was ordered. But his life exemplified what the royal court couldn’t comprehend—he stood strong against temptation and stayed obedient to the call on his life.

That encourages me. As an author and speaker passionate about encouraging others to find freedom through surrender in Christ, the world’s chaos sometimes overwhelms me . Most of my work is through writing, and I create contemporary romances so readers can find hope and encouragement in their reading. I enjoy putting flawed characters together and, through surrender and faith in Christ, transform them.

This year I took an even bigger step of faith and created my own imprint. I re-published my first contemporary romance, ENTRUSTED, and published the sequel, ENTANGLED. I poured 16 hour days into formatting, creating book covers, and watching videos to learn everything. I made myself sick from not drinking enough nor sleeping well. When the books released, I had such a sense of accomplishment.

Then the temptation kicked in.

After the books were active on Amazon, I needed to continue to promote them. As I did, I noticed that other romances, the kind that mirrored Fifty Shades of Grey that would turn me 100 shades of red, got a lot of attention.

traffic-sign-416439_1920And sales.

I can’t even look at the covers but I’d see the hundreds of stars next to reviews or the bestseller status. Me? I’m trying to get readers to know my work exists, let alone have anyone buy enough to make any splash in the world as an author.

Slowly, the sneaky thoughts dropped in.

All the attention is on ero*-ick!-a.

Who cares about clean romances with a message of hope?

Do you know how piddly your royalties are compared to the others?

You could write under a false name and no one will know.

I’d love to tell you that I immediately cast those thoughts away in the name of my Best Friend, but no, I entertained them. I thought about money I’m not making against time I’ve spent. It didn’t seem fair when the “other” writers were doing so well.

That’s when it hit me.

John the Baptist lived in the wilderness, physically and spiritually. He didn’t cater to anyone. He let Herod know his marriage to Herodias was wrong because she was basically his sister-in-law. Telling the truth, doing the right thing, was his death sentence.

And his legacy.

I resolved to do the same. The moment I confessed my tempting thoughts to Jesus and focused on staying true to God’s call, I had peace. Did everything change? Not quickly. My royalties are still small, especially against time spent. But I’m starting to see favor. People are starting to find me that aren’t related or friends. They are leaving reviews, strong ones that speak louder than any promoting I could do.

John the Baptist was a strange man by the world’s standards, but he was obedient to the end. This pioneer is encouraged by his testimony. I hope you are, too.

***

Julie Arduini loves to encourage readers to surrender the good, the bad, and —maybe one day—the chocolate. She’s the author of the re-release, ENTRUSTED: Surrendering the Present, as well as the sequel, ENTANGLED: Surrendering the Past. She also shared her story in the infertility devotional, A WALK IN THE VALLEY. She blogs every other Wednesday for Christians Read. She resides in Ohio with her husband and two children. Learn more by visiting her at http://juliearduini.com, where she invites readers to subscribe to her monthly newsletter full of resources and giveaway opportunities at JULIE ARDUINI: SURRENDER ISSUES AND CHOCOLATE and the weekly e mail. SUNDAY’S SURRENDER AND CHOCOLATE. Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Instragram, and follow her on Amazon.

entangled2_editedEntangledSurrendering the Past

Book #2, Surrendering Time Series

“You need to leave me alone. It’s the least you can do.”

Carla Rowling has been given her dream of attending cosmetology school. The gift is so generous she feels unworthy because of choices she made as a teen. The pressure mounts as Carla juggles school, is a single mom, helps her best friend Jenna plan her wedding, spends time with boyfriend Will Marshall, and deals with the fact that her son’s father is back in their lives.

Will Marshall is the one Speculator Falls resident everyone can count on. His truck deliveries are reliable. He’s the first to help friends like Ben Regan with boat work or be a card partner with Bart Davis. Will’s ready to settle down with Carla, loving her is natural. He’s bonded with her son, Noah. But when Carla starts cosmetology school, she puts emotional distance between her and Will.

Can Carla release her past and create a future full of highlights, or, will she burn her options worse than a bad perm?

Buy it HERE. Buy book one HERE

Let’s talk about this. We all have a purpose, a role God has assigned specifically for us–one we are uniquely able to fulfill. From the time we are born until the time He takes us home, He is lovingly and patiently molding and equipping us to fulfill that role. But in our comparison-based and social-media saturated culture, it’s easy to allow the noise all around us obscure or even devalue our purpose. When that happens, we can begin to feel defeated and insignificant.

It’s really a matter of focus. When defining ourselves, evaluating our to-do lists and accomplishments, and prioritizing our time, who will we listen to, our rapidly imploding culture or that gentle yet steady voice of our Savior that guides us toward His very best.

The choice is ours.

At Wholly Loved Ministries, we want to help you zero in on God’s voice and learn to clearly discern His will, because we know none of us will find fulfillment until we are doing that which we were created to do. Join us for one of our upcoming conferences.

livingbygracepic-jpLet’s talk about this! I think we all face struggles similar to what Julie expressed. I have to believe John did for sure. He was an amazing man of God, but he was also human. What do you think helped him to remain so steadfast to his calling? Have you felt God call you to something difficult, and if so, how did you respond? What do you think we can do, in the day-to-day, to tune out all the cultural noise and stifle our tendency to compare ourselves and our lives with one another so we can focus fully on God’s will for us?Share your thoughts in the comments below, at Living by Grace on Facebook, or in our online For the Love Bible study, because we can all learn from and encourage one another.

grace quote with flowers in the background(Note: This post first published on August 30, 2018.)

I don’t like failing–at anything. But I especially hate when my failure hurts someone else. Unfortunately, there’ve been numerous times when I’ve sensed God asking me to do something–to say something or reach out to someone–but didn’t. There have been even more times when I’ve felt a prick in my heart cautioning me not to act, but my pride propelled me forward anyway.

Praise God for His grace that can turn every failure into a growth opportunity and ultimately, a win. Today my guest, Kass Fogle, shares a time when she found this to be true and what God taught her through that situation.

Learning–the Hard Way–How to Love Others Well

By Kass Fogle

The most self-absorbed person I know is writing this blog post. Though I pray against my selfishness regularly, most of my plans revolve around me.

And every day, God’s love and mercy convicts me and reminds me to follow the example of Jesus. Christ surrendered His place with God and, fully obedient, he humbled himself to put the needs of others first.

Though I’ve learned to stop and pay attention to this lesson, it wasn’t always this way.

I missed a friendship opportunity with a friend from high school who was hurting deeply. She lost two daughters in a tragic car accident and reached out to me via social media. While we communicated back and forth a few times, we never connected in person. Though she was only three hours away, I didn’t get an address so I could visit. I didn’t grab a phone number for a quick call of encouragement.

Instead, I listened to the lies filling my head: “You can’t explain this. You can’t help. She has other friends who live closer.”

And I also heard another other voice whisper, “You don’t have to explain. You have to love. She needs you.”

If my heart ached in disappointment for listening to the louder voice, it shattered over my disobedience to God.

Because I’m accountable for which voice I listen to and believe. And instead of swimming in the vortex of shame, I’m choosing to obey my Father.quote pulled from post with image of two friends together

Though I take responsibility for my failures, I believe God will use them for the glory of His kingdom. With the example above, He chose to use my poor decisions as a friend to teach me how to better care for others. And not just in a ‘coffeehouse-pay-it-forward” way, but in a Holy Spirit inspired “I can’t wait to share it” way.

Through this, I learned how to better care for others:

  1. Loyalty First – “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Prov. 17:17, ESV). I have a group of unquestionably faithful girlfriends. But sometimes we’re called to show loyalty to those outside our “inner circle”. We can show the same type of care to those we’re closest to and those we aren’t. In those situations, it’s all about obedience.

Not good with words? Come bearing gifts – a coffee cup, a pretty pen, a bracelet, or a snuggly pillow – anything you think will bring comfort.

Not good with words in times of suffering? Try: “You matter.” “Would you like for me to pray with you now or in private at home?” “I’d like to come over and sit with you for a while.”

  1. Transform Your Mind – Sometimes we don’t help others because we think their values, traditions, or social networks are too different from ours. But I suggest we pay close attention to people who pop into our lives repeatedly. Most likely, they’re there for a reason. We can call them by name and ask God how he wants us to engage with them. Who knows? Maybe they’re there to bless or grow us.

While we need to recognize if someone is not meant to be in our life, we can also pray that God removes our judgmental tendencies so we can become open to the gift of friendship God has in store for us.

Remember friends, we don’t bless others so we’ll be blessed, we bless because He first loved us.

We’ve been saved by the power of the holy spirit, through the blood of the Son, and the grace and mercy of our Father, so our hearts are prepared to best share the blessing with others.

Just for reading today, you can get a free journal page by clicking on Friendship With a Purpose –While you’re there, check out the other freebies!

***

Let’s talk about this! When has a past failure taught you how to better show grace? Do you have anything else you’d add to how we can love our friends well? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below because we can all learn from and encourage one another!

Get to know Kass!

 

Kass Fogle's author photoKass Fogle is a Contemporary Christian Author, Speaker and Blogger who lives with her husband and two children in South-Central Illinois. Her first novel, Ruth’s Garden placed third for Contemporary Christian Fiction at the Write to Publish Conference in 2018.

Her new website, THE INTROVERTED BELIEVER will launch in late 2018 and will focus on encouraging fellow introverts in their work, marriage and friendships. Be sure and subscribe to her website kassfogle.com to stay up to date on the launch progress.

When she is not working the day job you can find her at the local coffee house writing, at home baking, hanging out with family or causing trouble with her tight-knit group of girlfriends. Kass is also a raging Football Mom.

Follow her on Twitter @kassfogle, find her on Pinterest, and connect with her on Facebook .

She invites you to email her a prayer or other request at kassfogle(at)gmail(dot)com.

Before you go! I encourage you to read my thoughts on finding the courage to obey when others deem our actions foolish. You can read that HERE. And mommas of little ones, you may find my post on MOPS International encouraging. You can read that HERE.

 

 

The Peace of Knowing God Holds Our Days (Psalm 139:16) Your Daily Bible Verse

Want to listen without the ads? Become a BibleStudyTools.com PLUS Member today: https://www.biblestudytools.com/subscribe/ Meet Our Hosts: JENNIFER SLATTERY is a writer and speaker who hosts the Faith Over Fear podcast. She’s addressed women’s groups, Bible studies, and writers across the nation. She’s the author of Building a Family and numerous other titles and maintains a devotional blog at https://jenniferslatterylivesoutloud.com Follow Jennifer:https://www.lifeaudio.com/faith-over-fear/https://www.facebook.com/JenSlattehttps://www.instagram.com/slatteryjennifer/ GRACE FOX has published hundreds of articles and authored 10 books including the award-winning devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos. She’s a member of the “First 5” writing team for Proverbs 31 Ministries and a regular contributor to Guideposts’ Mornings with Jesus. Grace lives aboard a sailboat in Vancouver, British Columbia. Married in 1982, she and her husband celebrate three grown kids and eleven grandchildren. Check out Grace’s newest book, Keeping Hope Alive: https://www.tyndale.com/p/keeping-hope-alive/9781649380517 Subscribe to her weekly devotional blog and monthly update on her website: http://www.gracefox.com Follow Grace:Facebook: http://www.fb.com/gracefox.authorInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/graceloewenfox/  Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/gracefoxauthor JOSHUA LILLIE is a passionate follower of Jesus, spreadsheet enthusiast, and lover of all kinds of art and music. Joshua has almost a decade of experience in music ministry, and has served both in house church and megachurch environments in pastoral and administrative roles, eager to see every man, woman, and child increasingly surrender their lives to King Jesus. He currently serves on staff with Christ Community Church in Omaha, NE, and as an ordained minister with the Christian & Missionary Alliance, a global denomination of Jesus-followers making Him known among the nations.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  1. The Peace of Knowing God Holds Our Days (Psalm 139:16)
  2. Christ's Tender Love for Those Afraid to Hope (Matthew 9:22)
  3. Lessons Learned in the Waiting Room of Life (Genesis 8:1)
  4. Living as Overcomers (1 John 5:4)
  5. What Does it Mean to Crave Pure Spiritual Milk? (1 Peter 2:2-3)

(The following was taken and adapted from an iBelieve video devotion.)

We’ve probably all gone to some event only to find ourselves completely under-dressed, or dressed inappropriately. I have, more than once, and when that happens, I usually want to leave as quickly as possible.

Woman looking in her closet for something to wear.

Years ago, my husband invited me to a charity function downtown, an area that hosts numerous events spring through early fall, from farmer’s markets to craft fairs. I assumed we were going to something similar, so I arrived in shorts, clunky sneakers, a t-shirt, and a ball-cap.

I stood on a busy street corner and looked around, wondering where the event and my husband could be. After a quick phone call, I learned he was waiting for me at a local restaurant. We’d gone there before, in casual clothes, so I didn’t think anything about my wardrobe or what others might be wearing. When I arrived, however, the hostess quickly escorted to their upstairs, elegantly decorated area—in my shorts, ball-cap, and sneakers.

I wanted to quietly duck out, but, unfortunately, my husband—and his boss and his boss’s wife, who looked quite beautiful, by the way, saw me and hurried to where I was, ushering me off to introduce me to others—none of whom wore comfy shorts and sneakers.

The hostess really should’ve warned me about my attire, before I climbed those stairs. I was clearly not dressed for the occasion.

This experience provided me with a comical image of the point the apostle Paul made in Ephesians chapter 4. In verses 23-24, he told the Christ-followers in Ephesus to “put off their old self,” their sinful behaviors and attitudes, to be made new in the attitude of their minds;  and to put on their new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

It’s like he was standing at the top of the stairs, shaking his head. “Nope. You can’t wear that here. Those are you old, ratty clothes. You should toss them out. Better yet, burn them. You belong to Christ now. You’re holy and beloved, radiant, a child of the King, and this is His party. Go find your gown and princess slippers.”

Girl putting on a tiara.

I need that reminder as well. I need to continually put off my ratty old self, which isn’t good for anything but the trash. And I need to put on my new, radiant and glorious self, my full-on princess garb.

Each day, I have to shuck off who I used to be. My old way of viewing the world, of responding to others, all of my sinful desires that seemed to flash so brightly in the moment but led to shame and destruction. And I need to put on my new self, the glorious robe of righteousness Christ gave me, so that I can be dressed, and behave, as His radiant and well-adorned daughter.  

Quote pulled from post

(This post first published on February 13, 2020.)

When I’m feeling anxious, which is often, my husband says he’s going to “sit on me.” This isn’t some idle threat, nor a threat at all. Rather, his words convey a promise to, literally and figuratively, cover me with his strength and love, though he doesn’t actually sit. Instead, he rolls over on top of me, completely enveloping me in his much bigger and stronger self. Perhaps he’s attempting to squeeze out all my angst, or maybe, not knowing what else to do, simply wants me to know he’s there, sees my inner struggle, and that he cares.

The first time he “covered me” in his love occurred around eight years ago. It had been a tough week during which God had allowed some deep, long buried hurts from my past to resurface. In the middle of this painful, fragile time, I received a phone call that left me sobbing so hard, I couldn’t catch my breath. It was as if every hurt once suppressed suddenly rose to the surface. It’s hard to describe the intensity of my emotions except to say that it literally felt as if my heart were shredding .

And in the middle of my ugly cry, as I lay in bed, tears coursing down my cheeks, my husband came to my side and immediately rolled on top of me, squishing me in the strongest, firmest, most immovable hug I’d ever experienced. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said over and over. Then, after maybe the tenth time, realization hit: “That’s Jesus.”

I understood, with tear-quieting clarity, that Christ was loving me through my husband in that moment. Though this experience and the understanding that followed didn’t alleviate my pain, it did make it more bearable, because I knew I wasn’t alone. Through my husband, Jesus showed me that He saw me, loved me, was with me, and would carry me through.

When my emotions and circumstances feel out of control, I love to spend time reading through the Psalms. Many of them were written by a man named David who was hunted down for years and, at one point, forced to hide in a cave. Though proven to be a courageous warrior, many of his psalms reveal he also struggled with fear. But in the midst of his most terrifying circumstances, he never lost sight of what he knew to be true: that sovereign creator God was always with him, would never leave him, and would one day turn everything to good.

When others warned him of threats, encouraging him to flee, he responded, in essence, saying, “I trust God to protect me, so why should I run.” (Psalm 11:1) Even if a thousand dangers lurked in the shadows (Ps. 11:3), David refused to Quote pulled from post
cower, because he knew God was both intimately near (in His holy temple) and reigning from heaven (Ps. 11:4), where He could see all. Though life and David’s circumstances might have felt out of control, truth told him otherwise. He knew with unshakable certainty that the all-powerful, all-knowing God was with Him, in the middle of his greatest challenge, engulfing him in love and truth.

As David Guzik from the Enduring Word puts it, “When David considers the greatness of God, the care of God, and the vision of God, it all outweighs the danger.”

When we’re anxious, may we consider and meditate on those same unchangeable truths, and may we wrap ourselves deeply, completely, in God’s loving, protective embrace. Though this may not alleviate our anxiety, it will make it more bearable as we cling to the certainty that God will carry us through.

Let’s talk about this! Do you struggle with anxiety? If so, what are some things you’ve found to help?

If you haven’t already done so, consider joining Wholly Loved’s private Faith Over Fear Facebook group where I share daily challenges designed to help all of us move from fear to faith. You can join HERE.

I also invite you to join Wholly Loved’s private group where you can share your struggles, celebrations, doubts, and prayer requests and link arms with other women learning to anchor themselves in grace. You can find us HERE.

Additional resources you might find helpful:

Breaking the Fear Cycle by Maria Furlough

When Our World Feels Out of Control

Tracing Our Fears to Their Proclamations

Faith Over Fear Bible Reading Plan

Fear and Faith: Finding the Peace Your Heart Craves by Trillia J Newbell

 

 

 

 

When Blessings Bring Uncertainty (Genesis 21) Faith Over Fear

Even blessings bring change, and change can bring difficulties and uncertainty. Facing the unknown, we may find ourselves slipping toward increased anxiety and fear. In those moments, will we turn to ourselves, feed our fears and doubts with what if scenarios, or hold tight to Christ and His promises?  (Scroll down for discussion/reflective questions.) Have you ever received a blessing from God that didn’t quite look like you thought it would?  What happened? How did you handle the situation? How can you comfort someone whose life is not going the way they thought it would? Can you think of a hard time in your life when, looking back, you can see how God moved?  How can you find blessings in the hard times of your life? When you have to make a hard decision like Abraham did with Ishmael, how can you make sure you’re following God’s will? How does God's grace provide a path for redemption in the face of our own mistakes? What are the consequences of choosing fear instead of faith when it comes to trusting in God's plan? Find Jodie Bailey: On her website On Facebook On Instagram Find Kelly Campbell: WhollyLoved.com Find Wholly Loved: On their website Join the private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group  Join the Private Wholly Loved Community Facebook GroupSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  1. When Blessings Bring Uncertainty (Genesis 21)
  2. Break the Grip of Anxiety & Worry: What You Can Do to Stop Stress | Breathe
  3. When You Fear You've Blown Your Calling (Genesis 20)
  4. Faith and Fear (Genesis 18)
  5. Trusting God to be All-Sufficient (Genesis 17)

Living anchored in God's love graphic on gray-teal background.

(Note, this first published on September 20, 2018.)

Out of all the fears we women face, our fear of rejection can be the most debilitating. It hinders our relationships, steals our joy and peace, and can keep us from pursuing the dreams and plans God has for us. I’ve yet to meet a woman who in some way doesn’t struggle with this and who, beneath her fear, hasn’t battled some degree of self-loathing. I’m not sure we’ll ever overcome our insecurities completely this side of heaven, but as my guest and dear friend, Susan Aken, reveals, there’s hope! W can live bold and brave!

Living in a Glass Box

By Susan Aken

As an extremely shy, introverted, and fearful youth I often retreated into my easily controlled fantasy world. I was reluctant to open up or talk to people or didn’t know how. I’d sit in a high school classroom and fantasize about putting a glass box around myself. A place where I could read, observe, or do what I wanted unseen by others.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t a fantasy. I succeeded but my hiding resulted in the reverse of what I thought. I put myself in a box that blinded me to others. I shut myself away so I became almost unreachable.

I escaped into a self-protective mindset that caused me to avoid eye contact, especially with strangers and to engage in non-committal conversations. It caused me, as someone once told me, to be “like a knight in impenetrable armor.” I felt safe in that armor. I could look out and determine when and where to let someone in. The problem is I isolated myself and prevented others from knowing me. I developed the habit of keeping people at an emotional distance.

Thankfully, God began to open my eyes in my early twenties and He’s been helping me since to learn. I’m in my sixties and continue to see what I’ve reaped from that box. I still avoid eye contact with strangers and honestly have to be intentional about looking friends in the eye.

I’ve come a long way since high school and I’ve had some great moments over the years of opening up to others. But, I’m still learning and always will be. The awesome news is my heavenly Father loves me exactly as I am and always has. But He also loves me enough to help me change.

The grace of Jesus Christ covers every moment I  shut someone out, though I still reap consequences. His love for me is eternal and secure. In spite of my weaknesses I have a husband and a son who love and respect me, and many faithful friends and loved ones.

My prayer is that my Father will help me take a sledgehammer and smash the rest of that glass box and crush the armor to pieces.

Is it possible I can live being who I am and stop trying to manage perceptions or keep people at a distance? No one can live perfectly open and free. Hey, we’re human! But with the help of Jesus, I’m learning to walk freely knowing He loves me as I am, knows all my sin and weakness, has already covered them on the cross, and has called me to walk in freedom.

And when I’m tempted to retreat, I can remember Psalm 32:7, which says, “You” God “are my hiding place…” (NIV)*

I don’t need a box, a suit of armor or any other self-protective stance.

God is my hiding place.

***

Let’s talk about this! Do you struggle with insecurities or fear of rejection? If so, what’s helped you move past that? What truth (regarding who you are in Christ or how He feels about you) most encourages or comforts you? Share your thoughts and suggestions with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another. 

And if you live in the Omaha area and are involved in ministry in some way, make sure to check out Wholly Loved’s upcoming Radiant for Leaders event! Find out more HERE

Get to know Susan!

Susan Aken's author photo. Susan is a homemaker, substitute teacher, and writer. She lives in Nebraska but was born and raised in Oklahoma. Her greatest love is for the Lord Jesus Christ who has redeemed her and set her free. Her other loves are her husband, son, and daughter-in-law to be. Susan enjoys reading, photography, spending time with family and friends, writing, and sitting down with a cup of tea. She has a heart for prayer ministry and loves her church!

Visit her online HERE.

 

When Blessings Bring Uncertainty (Genesis 21) Faith Over Fear

Even blessings bring change, and change can bring difficulties and uncertainty. Facing the unknown, we may find ourselves slipping toward increased anxiety and fear. In those moments, will we turn to ourselves, feed our fears and doubts with what if scenarios, or hold tight to Christ and His promises?  (Scroll down for discussion/reflective questions.) Have you ever received a blessing from God that didn’t quite look like you thought it would?  What happened? How did you handle the situation? How can you comfort someone whose life is not going the way they thought it would? Can you think of a hard time in your life when, looking back, you can see how God moved?  How can you find blessings in the hard times of your life? When you have to make a hard decision like Abraham did with Ishmael, how can you make sure you’re following God’s will? How does God's grace provide a path for redemption in the face of our own mistakes? What are the consequences of choosing fear instead of faith when it comes to trusting in God's plan? Find Jodie Bailey: On her website On Facebook On Instagram Find Kelly Campbell: WhollyLoved.com Find Wholly Loved: On their website Join the private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group  Join the Private Wholly Loved Community Facebook GroupSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  1. When Blessings Bring Uncertainty (Genesis 21)
  2. Break the Grip of Anxiety & Worry: What You Can Do to Stop Stress | Breathe
  3. When You Fear You've Blown Your Calling (Genesis 20)
  4. Faith and Fear (Genesis 18)
  5. Trusting God to be All-Sufficient (Genesis 17)

If you squirm with anxiety while someone other than yourself is driving, you may be challenged by letting go of control. It’s a common issue that typically manifests in all aspects of your life, not just the car. That had certainly been the case for me, but God in His infinite wisdom had other plans. And while He got my attention in dramatic fashion, sometimes we need to be shaken to regain our focus. Thanks to His mercy, I’m able to share the lesson He imparted.

 As a former New Yorker, I’ve grown accustomed to many of New Zealand’s unique traffic patterns. Roundabouts, river fords, and giving way to vehicles on the right are just a few. Yet, while touring the back country roads of the South Island, I learned about a different situation that can catch a newcomer off guard. It’s called a “One Lane Bridge”.

This was unceremoniously revealed to me with the whole family in the car. Traffic was moving well in both directions, but seemed to merge into a narrow gravel path rather abruptly. In full disclosure, this transition was preceded by a small sign. Only, in my inexperience, I passed by too quickly to read it. This was not ideal, as it would have alerted me of the impending danger.  Two arrows pointed toward each other to signify the potential for oncoming vehicles. I was supposed to slow down, look for approaching cars, and yield to give way to them.

Instead, I just came barreling down the road with a haphazard dust cloud following behind. My wife and Kiwi co-passenger recognized the imminent doom and shouted to stop me just in time. As I sat there in embarrassment, drivers with the right of way passed by and flashed a quick wave. My hands were still gripping the wheel too tightly to respond. They didn’t realize how different things could have been If I was driving alone that day. This incident of course begged the question; how many other critical signs have I missed? Not just on the road, but on my walk with God. Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar in your journey.

God has already provided the ultimate map to salvation, and His name is Jesus. While we were making all those wrong turns, He was right there with us. Some of the roads we traveled may have even led to dark and painful places. In looking at His promises in the Bible though, you can see the trail of once-overlooked signs. We all veer off course on occasion, but Scripture provides guardrails for those willing to obey. The route was carefully designed to lead us back to Him. It’s now time to let Jesus take control of the wheel. The destination is eternal life, and He is the only way to get there. 

Key Thought: The road that leads to Jesus will be bumpy, and even uncomfortable at times. There may be moments when you want to turn back and find your own way. Yet, as the shepherd of our hearts, Jesus will stop at nothing to build a relationship with you. Opening the door to let Him in is a good first step. Yet, if you’re searching for lasting peace, you’ll need to move over and let Jesus drive.

Get to Know Chris Corradino

In studying God’s Word, Chris learns more about himself and the world around him. From the profound love of Jesus to the redemptive power of His mercy and grace, Chris writes to express the vast beauty of God’s kingdom. Though his journey began as a personal one, Chris is honored to share his work with a worldwide audience. His new book Finding Joy in Every Season: 60 Men’s Devotionals for Winning with Jesus is set to be published with Ambassador International. 

While genuinely pleased by these accomplishments, perhaps Chris’ greatest joy comes from encouraging others to deepen their relationship with Jesus. Whether in a sermon, or written text, Chris’ words are a testimony to what God has done in his life, and what He can do for others as well. 

About the Book:

Christian men want to lead their families, build careers, get involved in their children’s lives, be loving husbands, and also grow their relationship with Jesus.

Despite these good intentions, statistics show the reality of what’s actually happening. Men are ending their own lives with staggering frequency. This trend is not unique to the United States as it’s unfortunately grown into a global epidemic. 

Put simply, men are desperate for help and the tired advice to “man up” is proving deadly.

Finding Joy In Every Season: 60 Men’s Devotionals for Winning with Jesus challenges us to lay our weapons down as Jesus has already claimed victory. All the muscles in the world can’t soothe the hurt we carry inside. While it sounds counterintuitive, true strength starts with embracing our weaknesses.   

With fresh biblical insight presented in a conversational style, readers will find new ways to apply God’s word to their own lives.

The Peace of Knowing God Holds Our Days (Psalm 139:16) Your Daily Bible Verse

Want to listen without the ads? Become a BibleStudyTools.com PLUS Member today: https://www.biblestudytools.com/subscribe/ Meet Our Hosts: JENNIFER SLATTERY is a writer and speaker who hosts the Faith Over Fear podcast. She’s addressed women’s groups, Bible studies, and writers across the nation. She’s the author of Building a Family and numerous other titles and maintains a devotional blog at https://jenniferslatterylivesoutloud.com Follow Jennifer:https://www.lifeaudio.com/faith-over-fear/https://www.facebook.com/JenSlattehttps://www.instagram.com/slatteryjennifer/ GRACE FOX has published hundreds of articles and authored 10 books including the award-winning devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos. She’s a member of the “First 5” writing team for Proverbs 31 Ministries and a regular contributor to Guideposts’ Mornings with Jesus. Grace lives aboard a sailboat in Vancouver, British Columbia. Married in 1982, she and her husband celebrate three grown kids and eleven grandchildren. Check out Grace’s newest book, Keeping Hope Alive: https://www.tyndale.com/p/keeping-hope-alive/9781649380517 Subscribe to her weekly devotional blog and monthly update on her website: http://www.gracefox.com Follow Grace:Facebook: http://www.fb.com/gracefox.authorInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/graceloewenfox/  Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/gracefoxauthor JOSHUA LILLIE is a passionate follower of Jesus, spreadsheet enthusiast, and lover of all kinds of art and music. Joshua has almost a decade of experience in music ministry, and has served both in house church and megachurch environments in pastoral and administrative roles, eager to see every man, woman, and child increasingly surrender their lives to King Jesus. He currently serves on staff with Christ Community Church in Omaha, NE, and as an ordained minister with the Christian & Missionary Alliance, a global denomination of Jesus-followers making Him known among the nations.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  1. The Peace of Knowing God Holds Our Days (Psalm 139:16)
  2. Christ's Tender Love for Those Afraid to Hope (Matthew 9:22)
  3. Lessons Learned in the Waiting Room of Life (Genesis 8:1)
  4. Living as Overcomers (1 John 5:4)
  5. What Does it Mean to Crave Pure Spiritual Milk? (1 Peter 2:2-3)

Graphic with quote from Spurgeon on God's provision.

God’s Heart for a Mom in Need

by Linda Rondeau

I wondered if my life could get worse? I was filled with self-pity as I loaded the three children into one grocery cart. Then I grabbed another few items I could afford. Pushing my cart with my right hand and the kids’ with my left, I choo-chooed my way down the aisles on this winter afternoon in 1973. 

I reached for a jar of peanut butter and caught the sight of a toy gun my two-year-old had hidden in his coat. I retrieved the item, apparently stolen from somewhere since it wasn’t his.

“Where did you get this?” I asked. 

He met my answer with a blank stare. I checked the price tag, then remembered the sales display near the cash registers. He must have picked it up while I was getting his brother and sister situated. 

“I can’t buy this, John. We’ll have to put it back.” I suppose I should have used the teachable moment for a lesson in honesty. To be truthful, I could barely focus on my list. 

A divorced, unemployed mother of three pre-school children, I believed, prior to that morning, I had already sunk to the bottom—until I opened up my eviction notice with the morning’s mail. I’d achieved the impossible, a new depth from which to wallow.  

What had I done to deserve these troubles? My present circumstances weren’t my doing. I’d been a model tenant, paying on time, my home spotless. I even waxed my floors on a weekly basis. My landlady planned to place a family member coming in from out of town in my apartment. I lived in space she thought she needed more than I did. 

Humiliation pricked me like a thousand sewing needles. I didn’t blame the property owner, at least not intellectually. If in her shoes, I’d have done the same. And I’d have gone on my merry way believing my good tenant should have no problems in finding another place to live. And, like her, I’d have given the individual a letter of reference. But finding an affordable apartment with my limited resources in a safe neighborhood posed challenges beyond my scope of solvability. 

John 14:1 verse

Tomorrow lay before me like an unwritten movie script, but I knew the logline: A divorced woman and her three children huddle together in a cardboard box.  

“Well, Lord,” I prayed through tears. “I need a miracle.”

Re-reading my grocery list, I mentally scratched off items I could possibly do without. I could forego the floor polish. I wouldn’t be able to wash and wax the street. How could I decipher if toilet paper were more critical than toothpaste?

I looked up in time to witness John lean over from the kids cart and dump a handful of candy bars into mine.

“What are you doing!” My howls echoed through the store like canyon winds.  “Don’t even think you’re getting candy.”

I felt like Snow White’s evil stepmother as I heaved the treats back on the shelf with one huge huff of indignation. Even so, wet trickles slid down my cheeks as John’s little face turned from rosy innocence to gray fright, his wails even louder than my reprimands. As if sucked into another dimension, I saw myself in frozen ugliness, fearful I was observing my own mental breakdown.

From somewhere, staccato-like bursts of joy pierced the nightmarish scene.

That’s when I saw him, the man I’d learn to call my supermarket angel, a department store Santa type, even sporting a long white beard and black boots but sans the red suit. He held his middle as he nearly doubled over with amusement, seemingly as frozen in the instant as I was.

Ire erupted. How could anyone so obtusely enjoy my pain. As I surveyed the surreal, I felt a growing pressure in my abdomen. Within seconds, my own gurgles of laughter sprayed the atmosphere like a happy geyser.   

I don’t know how long time stood still. But when I returned to the present, my mood had miraculously transformed from bitterness to hope. Despair fled replaced by the reassurance God had already made a plan even before I demanded a solution.

I gathered up the rejected candy bars and cradled them back to my cart.

“Just because I love you,” I said, and kissed my child on the top of his head.

I should thank the odd man for bringing me back from the precipice of insanity. When I looked for him, he was nowhere to be seen. I’d turned away for less than a minute. How could he have disappeared?

I’d heard how God sometimes sends his angels to us at odd times, in odd places, and perhaps in the form of an obese elderly man on a supermarket bench. Had I been so graced?

I won’t know this side of heaven for sure. But whenever I drift into a woe-is-me attitude, the image of that jolly, fat elf never fails to bring me out of the pit.

*** Postscript

Some wonder what happened after this event, assuming I did not end up on the street. God did lead me to a public housing project with sufficient room for the four of us. Later, I moved near my parents, joined a theater group, and remarried a wonderful Christian man, my partner in life for forty-five years. God uses the upsets of life to redirect us to better things.

Get to Know Linda:

Award-winning author, Linda Wood Rondeau writes stories that grip the heart, inspired by her nearly thirty years of social work. Her motto is, “With God, our worst past becomes our best future.” When not writing or speaking, she enjoys the occasional round of golf, visiting museums, and taking walks with her best friend in life, her husband of forty-five years. The couple resides in Hagerstown, Maryland where both are active in their local church. Readers may learn more about the author, read her blog, or sign up for her newsletter by visiting up for her newsletter by visiting www.lindarondeau.com.

Author photo for Linda Rondeau

Follow the author on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, Linkedin, Bookbub, Twitter, or Goodreads as well as her Youtube Channel, My Favorite Bible Verses Off the Cuff.

My Favorite Bible Verses Off the Cuff.  Watch for the author’s newest devotional release in March, Lessons Along the Way, Volume I of three.

Check out Linda’s book, Ghosts of Trumball Mansion

Why do the ghosts in his wife’s ballroom attack only him? Or is publishing tycoon Henry Fitzgibbons insane?

Cover for Ghosts of Trumball Mansion

Lana Longstreet is his star author … and his informally estranged wife. Now that the children are grown, maybe the time has come to officially end any obligation to his wife’s Connecticut estate and be free of their torment.

Sylvia Fitzgibbons has grown tired of the charade. She’d ask Henry for a divorce if the children weren’t planning a lavish anniversary party in August, and she has a deadline for her Johnny Gallant suspense series in the same month. Then there is the matter of the decaying rose gardens, Henry’s only allure to the estate and launch parties.

She insists Henry spend the summer to tend to estate matters, and Henry reluctantly agrees. Hoping for an early escape, he hires a gangly landscape artist who eerily resembles a washed out country singer. But when Sylvia’s housekeeper must retire due to an auto accident, she begs for his help. Unable to resist her femme fatale pleas, Henry is trapped for the duration.

Forced closeness and Sylvia’s dependence on Henry draws them closer. As a reconciliation proves possible, Lana Longstreet is charged with plagiarism threatening their publishing empire and the malignant forces within the estate become increasingly aggressive.

Something evil seems to conspire against them that only Faith can conquer.

When Blessings Bring Uncertainty (Genesis 21) Faith Over Fear

Even blessings bring change, and change can bring difficulties and uncertainty. Facing the unknown, we may find ourselves slipping toward increased anxiety and fear. In those moments, will we turn to ourselves, feed our fears and doubts with what if scenarios, or hold tight to Christ and His promises?  (Scroll down for discussion/reflective questions.) Have you ever received a blessing from God that didn’t quite look like you thought it would?  What happened? How did you handle the situation? How can you comfort someone whose life is not going the way they thought it would? Can you think of a hard time in your life when, looking back, you can see how God moved?  How can you find blessings in the hard times of your life? When you have to make a hard decision like Abraham did with Ishmael, how can you make sure you’re following God’s will? How does God's grace provide a path for redemption in the face of our own mistakes? What are the consequences of choosing fear instead of faith when it comes to trusting in God's plan? Find Jodie Bailey: On her website On Facebook On Instagram Find Kelly Campbell: WhollyLoved.com Find Wholly Loved: On their website Join the private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group  Join the Private Wholly Loved Community Facebook GroupSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  1. When Blessings Bring Uncertainty (Genesis 21)
  2. Break the Grip of Anxiety & Worry: What You Can Do to Stop Stress | Breathe
  3. When You Fear You've Blown Your Calling (Genesis 20)
  4. Faith and Fear (Genesis 18)
  5. Trusting God to be All-Sufficient (Genesis 17)

Quote from Anonymous regarding strength.

What do you do when you feel bombarded on every side? How do you stand when it feels as if life has kicked you in the gut and you find it hard to breathe? My guest today, a woman I adore and greatly admire who serves with me on the Faith Over Fear podcast has been there and shares some insights on how we can remain standing when hardship threatens to knock us flat.

Overcome or Overwhelmed by Ava Pennington

It had not been an easy week. An anniversary of loss I’d rather not remember, yet it’s impossible to forget. A reminder of my husband’s greatest season of victory in the face of what the world would call a season of deepest defeat.

After receiving a terminal prognosis five years ago, Russ determined to use his final months to remind Christians to look up in the midst of their difficulties. That’s easier said than done. Yet, for the final months of his life, Russ shared his testimony about a different kind of healing. He encouraged believers to look beyond their trials and suffering.

How do we do that? How do we find the strength to see beyond our circumstances? To not be defeated by a diagnosis or beaten by a broken relationship? How do we become conquerors instead of one conquered? To be an overcomer instead of overwhelmed? Victorious instead of vanquished?

The answer is found in how Russ lived out these four principles in the face of death: 

Remember who we belong to:

The early church in Ephesus needed to be reminded of who they belonged to. So the apostle Paul wrote:

“In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory” (Eph. 1:13-14 ESV).

Living in a sin-sick world can make it easy to forget who we belong to. Our situation may cause us to think God has forgotten us or doesn’t care, leading us to lose faith. We can let our circumstances define our relationship with God or we can let our relationship with God define how we view our circumstances.

Quote from post on light blue graphic.

Maintain an eternal focus:

Difficult circumstances have a way of capturing our focus to the exclusion of all else. But the Bible reminds us that our circumstances are temporary:

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18 ESV).

We’re often consumed with making this life easier. More comfortable. While those goals are not bad in themselves, they often become obstacles to what God is accomplishing in and through us. We become focused on making this life our best life, rather than remembering the best is yet to come.

2 Cor. 4:17 on teal graphic

Stop trying so hard:

The world has convinced us that with just a little more effort, we can fix anything that’s broken and bring it to a state of wholeness. But the apostle Paul reminds us the work of completion is not in our control:

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6 ESV).

Living a victorious Christian life is not about willpower. It’s not about trying harder, working smarter, and doing better. It’s about drawing on the strength of the Holy Spirit dwelling in us. Our job is to surrender to the Holy Spirit. He is the one who will bring the results. 

Do the next right thing:

Ongoing crises and turmoil can wear us down. That’s when we need this reminder:

“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9 (ESV).

Painful circumstances often cause us to feel overwhelmed. Russ battled a sense of his own body betraying him as the cancer grew. And even as I watched helplessly, I also wondered what his prognosis meant for my own future. What would life look like without my spouse?

But the Lord promised to care for His children’s needs. Our job is not to worry about the future, but to obey, one day at a time. And when that seems too difficult, then one hour or even the next five minutes at a time. Don’t ask what will happen a year from now. Rather, ask what has the Lord placed in front of me today? Then do the next right thing.

Fast forward to today . . . the anniversary week of remembering also brought reminders that God is still providing. Within a few days, several people came into my life to bless me by meeting new needs I didn’t have a clue about how to handle.

We can allow this broken world to overwhelm us or we can be overcomers. The answer is not found in our circumstances, it’s found in our relationship with Jesus Christ. We’re victorious when we remember our situations are temporary, but our life in Christ is eternal.

As you face your difficulties, how can you maintain an eternal focus? What is the next right thing your heavenly Father has placed in front of you to do?

*  *  *

Ava Pennington is an author and speaker. She’s also a freelance editor and certified coach for writers, a Wholly Loved Ministries podcaster, and a Word Weavers Intl. mentor. She teaches a weekly Bible Study Fellowship class, is trained as a Precepts Ministries instructor, and received an Adult Bible Studies certificate from Moody Bible Institute. 

Ava Pennington's author photo.

Ava is the author of Reflections on the Names of God: 180 Devotions to Know God More Fully (Revell Books), co-author of 2 picture books and has contributed to numerous magazines and 35 anthologies including 28 Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Find her at www.AvaPennington.com.

Check out her book, Reflections on the Names of God: 180 Devotions to Know God More Fully:

Every name God calls Himself and every name His people have called Him holds clues to who He is, how He relates to His children, and the promises He has made – and kept.

Cover image for Reflections on the Names of God: 180 Devotions to Know God More Fully by Ava Pennington

This devotional offers you a wonderful opportunity to spend time each day getting to know God more intimately by exploring His names and attributes. Perfect for both new Christians and longtime believers, these life-changing devotions will help you discover something new about who God is, who you are, and how you relate to others.