I just left a conference full of tired and discouraged women leaders. Yes, some attendees came full and encouraged, but I suspect, based on the tears I saw and conversations I overheard, they were in the minority. And for many of them, it wasn’t the demands of ministry that most fatigued and disheartened them. These precious women felt beaten down by the hurtful actions of others. Words that cut straight to their most wounded placed, feeding the lies that whispered, “You can’t do this. You’re insufficient. Too broken. Too flawed and too weak.”
I imagine you can relate. We’ve all found ourselves on the receiving end of careless yet painful statements and verbal attacks. In those moments, if we’re not anchored firmly in Christ’s love and grace, we’ll crumble.
Some time ago, I felt as if I was hit on every side. Significant health challenges. Loss of sleep. Major technology issues that interfered with my ability to complete important and time sensitive responsibilities, which, unfortunately, had recently increased. Relational difficulties. All of this triggered anxiety that, in turn, fueled my insomnia, which only further hindered my productivity. Then came what felt like the verbal assault that poked at some already bruised areas.
For a while, I slipped into a vortex of condemnation.
I felt like a buoy tossed into a raging sea, thrown about with every wave.
But then I sensed God asking me, “Who will you live to please? Whose voice will you allow to become loudest in your life?”
He was calling me to close my ears to everything and everyone else except for Him, to soak in His truth, and to rest momentarily in His protective embrace. It was in that quiet sacred place that His voice, previously muted by my insecurities, became clearer. He told me I wasn’t insufficient or defected. In Him, I was holy, chosen, and adored. Flawed, oh my, yes, but also empowered and redeemed. Called by my Savior to growth, healing, and even in my broken state, to impact.
As God’s gentle Spirit nourished my hurting soul, I sensed Him saying, “I’m calling you to something beautiful.”
Our God of infinite beauty always brings the yielded heart beauty from their pain. Trusting this, I clung to that and deliberately surrendered to His will–even though I knew it led to a path of increased pain. But as I sat, quiet and yielded, filled and comforted by my God, I reflected upon the wounded people God was inviting me to reach. Those who were deeply hurting and aching to experience, through His flawed yet redeemed children, His love and grace.
Would I abandon those precious souls in self-obsession, in self-protection, or would I courageously keep stepping, in love?
Would I hold tight to the condemnation spoken over me or the truth of Christ coursing through me?
And would I lean on another leader who, at least temporarily, wasn’t slung about by a storm? Someone one step beyond me, someone who could uniquely speak encouragement to my bruised soul—because she’d been there and understood.
I knew I couldn’t stand firm on my own, and so I called in reinforcements. While I still fulfilled my responsibilities and met my deadlines, my world quickly narrowed to those who spoke life and strength into my soul. I carved out time in other places to increase time for Jesus, my husband, and Spirit-filled women who could hear my struggle, with compassion, but also with their gaze focused entirely on Christ. Ladies who recognized His call on my life, not just for ministry, but for personal wholeness, growth, and freedom.
You see, a lot of people can speak truth. And a lot of people can share love. The one who consistently reveals both is a priceless jewel. A gift sent from Christ to our weary souls.
And so, those were the individuals to whom I reached out, even if that meant allowing some things to slip, and trusting God in that. Living with opened hands, unburdened shoulders, a purified and filled heart, and a mind set on truth.
That is the only way to live—and love—freely.
Notice what Paul says in Philippians 2:1:
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
“Therefore,” he wrote, pointing back to what he wrote regarding suffering for Christ. He wanted them, and by extension, us, to remember, even when hurled into a violent and choppy sea, we are still held firm by grace. Encouraged and united, and comforted by His tender, compassionate love (v. 1).
This understanding helps shift our focus off of the turmoil around us, and perhaps even raging within, and onto the God who remains sovereign over the storm.
The God who invites us to cling to Him, surrender to Him, and to rest in Him, knowing He will always reveal our next step. He’ll teach us how to experience His strength when our knees feel ready to give way, resting in His inconceivable grace.
A grace that says:
Your sins are forgiven, their power broken.
Your weaknesses compensated for.
Your healing and growth, a process initiated, sustained, and one day fulfilled, by the One who bled and died to set us free.
A grace that anchors us so securely in Him, we can then become an anchor for others.
Let’s talk about this! When are you most tempted to yield to your feelings of insufficiency? How do you respond when you feel under attack? What are some ways you intentionally anchor yourself in Christ’s love and grace? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, and make sure to connect with me on Facebook, Amazon, and Instagram.
Break Free from Relationally Harmful Reactions – Faith Over Fear
- Break Free from Relationally Harmful Reactions
- Freed From Toxic Relationships to Help Others Break Free (with Carolyn Whitney) – Ep. 131
- Thankfulness in Changing Seasons – Ep. 130
- Fighting Anxiety and Fear Through Praise (with Becky Harling) – Ep. 129
- When Self-Reliance Leads to Addiction (with Carol McCracken) – Ep. 128