You confessed your sin, asked for forgiveness, and have made a determined effort to do better. So why does that niggling shame refuse to lift? Today author Candi Pullen shares her personal experience with perfectionism and self-condemnation and how Jesus freed her from this ugly cycle. But before you go any further, I want to congratulate the winner of Shannon’s novel, Rodeo Regrets. Audry Mclaughlin, congrats! You won! I’ll be sending you an email soon to find the best way to get this great book to you. 🙂
I was so blinded by the plank in my self-view I could not see any Jesus in me. Yet the nurture nature of our Lord was so full in the women attending our weekly studies that each individual seemed determined to love me in spite of myself. I was so desperate to BE what I wanted to be but could not see beyond the me I thought I was, that I conducted myself like a know-it-all-I’m-in-charge wannabe. I don’t know how they tolerated me. It had to be the Lord; for I pushed every button, had every answer, knew everything, until I sickened even myself at times. Yet their love was steadfast, sturdy, and streamlined to meet my needs. God Bless them, every one! Saints to the core.
tried all the harder to be loveable. All I accomplished was more alienation – because it was born of
necessity and not in sincerity. The time had come. I had come as far as possible in my own strength,
and the time for breaking strongholds was upon me.
allow them, and use them, rather than stop them. The understanding I have in hindsight is like watching a glass blower work his craft. The glass is heated to the point of melting away all the hardness of the glass, incorporating all the little broken shards into the mass at the end of his hollow tube. Then he breathes the new structure of the desired vessel, and turns it to maintain balance of the reshaped new vessel he has predetermined it to be. A vessel of beauty and purpose comes out of the ashes of the fire.
A large portion of the healing that has taken place in me, especially when it comes self-acceptance
and forgiveness of both myself and my ex-husband, is the understanding of who we are in Christ. If I am to see myself and others clearly, I must look at everyone through Jesus’ eyes – not my own. Verse 6 holds the Truth with a capital “T”.
In Christ we are holy. Yes, I am holy, for Christ in me IS my holiness. I do not deserve it. I do not
deserve Him. No one does. But He comes with the Truth. I may not deserve Him, but He died to give me that right. How could I refuse such a magnificent gesture of undeserved favor?
Christ is my Pearl of Great Price. And I no longer despise myself, for He has opened my eyes to His Truth; “I am accepted in the Beloved.” (Ephesians 1:6) I would make Him a liar if I did not receive this verse and apply it as my own. He paid the highest price possible to make it so. His life for mine.
and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me
It’s 1974 and Carrie Shepherd, daughter of the minister at Windspree Community Church, is a college senior with plans to be a missionary in Africa. Raped by a masked assailant, Carrie is so traumatized she tells no one until she realizes she’s pregnant. Refusing to have an abortion, she must find the courage to face her family, her fiance, her friends and a gossiping, angry congregation which may include her attacker. Can Carrie find a way to cope with the secrets, silence and shame?
Category: Christian / Fiction / Mystery
ISBN 978-1-938708-06-0 (paperback) Retail $13.99
ISBN 978-1-938708-07-7 (ebook) Retail $3.99.
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