The Modesty Debate–Going Deeper

(This first posted August 3rd, 2017)

If you’ve seen me in my sweat pants and favorite tattered nightshirt, chances are we’re besties. You can tell how close we are by how I dress around you and how long it took me to doll myself up. Before Bible study or church or speaking engagements, I fix my hair, put on make-up, and sift through numerous outfits. But most days, I’m in my writing attire, also known as pajamas, with my hair frizzed and mascara smudged under my eyes.

I reserve my most frightening moments for my family. (You thought bedhead was bad; try bedhead with rebellious, curly hair.)

Ladies, when did our value get tied up in our looks? Men, has your value become entangled in your strength or achievements? Both scenarios have the same root—pride.

When many of us read 1 Timothy 2:9-10, our minds instantly jump to modesty and all the ways we’re rocking this outward expression of piety. So long as our shorts reach a certain length and our bellies and other body parts are covered, we’re good.

But that’s surface thinking, and I believe God’s much more concerned with the condition of our hearts than our fashion choice. If we get our hearts right, everything else will follow.

This past summer, my family and I took a Hawaiian vacation. It was an amazing time to relax, enjoy the ocean, and connect with one another. We tried new foods, experienced the Polynesian culture, and battled with a wave or two.

We opted not to rent a car and chose instead to rely on the local taxi service. The man who drove us to our hotel thought that was an absurdly expensive idea. “Why pay $50 or more for a cab,” he said, “when you can catch the bus for a couple bucks a piece?”

That sounded fun and adventurous and like a great way to experience island culture up close. So, the next day, we climbed on a bus and headed toward the North Shore community of Haleiwa. The bus ride was a bit longer than we’d anticipated, but we didn’t mind. We enjoyed meeting the locals that merged on and off the bus—teenagers dressed in flip-flops and swimsuit cover-ups, backpacks in hand. Men and women going to work, others who had just gotten off and were heading home.

Not long into our ride, an older woman climbed on. Her hands were knotted, her face leathery and tired. Her shoulders hunched. I didn’t know her story, but as I watched her, a wave of compassion swept over me. I wanted to somehow brighten her day, so whenever I caught her eye, I offered a smile and engaged her in conversation.

I felt benevolence toward her and didn’t give a thought of what I wore or how I was perceived. At that moment, I was focused on her, not me.

But then … not long after, another woman got on, this one entirely different than the first. She had an air about her—nose raised, back straight. She was eyeing everyone else as if they were beneath them. She soon struck up a conversation with another woman on the bus, someone she appeared to know. I don’t remember what she said, but I remember the overall tone. It appeared the entire point of her conversation was to let everyone else know how great she was.

It was ugly and wreaked of superiority. Filled with attempts at self-elevation—the kind one might call bragging in disguise.

Her behavior probably should’ve disgusted me. Or at the least, irritated me. Instead, it sucked me in. I found myself sitting a little taller, thinking prideful thoughts, in essence, mentally comparing myself to her, making sure, in my estimation, I came out ahead, of course.

Isn’t it interesting how, in such a short time, pride entered my heart, and instead of focusing on loving others, I began to focus on myself?

There’s that ugly self-love again, and I believe that’s the root of pride. I’m beginning to think this constant obsession with self is one of our greatest faults and most destructive tendencies.

The next morning I opened my Bible to 1 Timothy chapter 2. When I got to verses 9 and 10, it was like God had shone a flashlight into my heart, and I saw that passage in a way I hadn’t before.

In this verse, Paul tells us not to “draw attention to [ourselves] by the way [we] fix our hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” This reminds me of another verse found in Philippians 2:3, which says, “Don’t be selfish. Don’t try to impress others …”

“For women who claim to be devoted to God,” Paul goes on to say, “should make themselves attractive by the things they do” (1 Timothy 2:10, NLT).

I’m not saying we shouldn’t care about our appearance. I’m not telling everyone to toss out their nail polish and lip-gloss. Instead, what I’m saying is, as we’re dolling up, as we’re shopping and getting our nails done, and as we’re interacting with others, may we continually do a heart check. May we ask ourselves: where’s my focus? Am I seeking to elevate myself, to somehow make myself feel as if I’m better than everyone else (which is really a sign of insecurity), or am I finding ways to love others, to build them up, thinking of others as better than myself (Philippians 2:3b, NLT).

That’s hard, and unfortunately, not something I do consistently, But this is an area I want to grow in, because this is the type of behavior and attitude, the type of love, to which God calls me.

Let’s talk about this! What about you? What were your initial thoughts when you read today’s passage? How easy is it for you to “consider others more important than yourselves?” What does that look like in the day to day, and how do you think that relates to Paul’s instructions in 1 Timothy 2:9-10?

Before you go, did you catch this week’s Faith Over Fear episode? If not, I encourage you to listen to my conversation with Max Lucado on finding fresh hope and strength through the Holy Spirit. 

 

Courageously Proclaiming Our Faith (Genesis 12:5-8) Faith Over Fear

It’s one thing to internalize a promise from God, it’s another to make that a public proclamation. When we’re open about our faith and the promises we’re holding onto – especially in a difficult or unknown season – we’re inviting others to experience the goodness and faithfulness of God, too. While it’s not always the easiest step to take, proclaiming our faith publicly has greater impact than we might imagine. Find Kimi at: https://kimimiller.com/ https://www.facebook.com/LivingReflectionsMinistry/ https://www.instagram.com/livingreflectionsministry/ Find Tami at: https://www.tamiwittrock.com/ Find Wholly Loved Ministries at: WhollyLoved.comJoin the private Faith Over Fear Facebook Support GroupJoin the Private Wholly Loved Community Group (also on Facebook): When in your life, have you made a public proclamation of faith? How did that impact you and/or those around you? Is there an area or season of your where God is asking you to make a public proclamation of faith? Is there someone in your life who might be encouraged by your proclamation to stand on God’s promise? How can you stay encouraged when all you have is God’s promise to hold onto? What have been some faith markers in your life? How did those reassure you to keep holding on?  What are some ways to express your gratitude for God’s faithfulness? How can praising God encourage you and others along the way?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  1. Courageously Proclaiming Our Faith (Genesis 12:5-8)
  2. When We Fear We've Blown it (Genesis 13:1-4)
  3. Bravely Embracing the Unknown (Genesis 12:1-4)
  4. Breaking Free from Dysfunction
  5. 4 Powerful Actions to Fight Anxiety

13 Comments

  1. What a tremendous post, Jennifer. I pray today my heart may be open to hearing what the Spirit says to me, like you were that day on the bus. You are so right, when our heart’s right, everything else will follow. Great thoughts for all of us, regardless of our age! ❤

  2. Wow. Great article. I love learning about modesty. One thing I’ve been learning as well is that in order to feel good we should look good. We shouldn’t look good for others but look good for ourselves.

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