Fighting Fear of Rejection With the Truth of Christ

by Jennifer Slattery on August 6, 2026August 5, 2026

(This post first published in 2020.)

Writers experience a great number of rejections, and some of those can be pretty harsh. Though I know to expect these “no thank yous,” seeing them stream through my inbox can leave me stunned. If I’m not careful, I can begin to question my abilities, my calling, and really, myself. We do that, don’t we? We own every negative experience, holding each one as proof that we’re somehow insufficient or defective.

A while back, after receiving numerous declines in a row, I shared my disappointment with my daughter. “But you’ve also received a lot of acceptances,” she said. I know she meant to encourage me, and for a moment, it did, but I knew my assurance needed to go much deeper. My confidence and value can’t be based on such transient standards as temporary wins and losses. To rise above my fears, I must anchor myself, immovable, in the One who knows me, loves me, sees me, goes before me, has a plan for me, and remains with and in me.

A while back, God reminded me of this truth during a rather discouraging time. For about a year, it had felt as if I’d been turned down for every opportunity I pursued, even those I felt certain had been God led. The first rejection didn’t phase me too much. The second stung, but I determined to keep moving. By the third and fourth experience, however, lies I’d thought I’d long buried began to reemerge, assaulting my weakening heart, “You’re unwanted. You’re not good enough. Insufficient.”

Those lies can be really hard to silence sometimes, can’t they? They’d long held me captive, and normally would’ve plunged me into an all-day, if not longer, gloom. But not this time. As I sat there, initially feeding all those deceptive and toxic thoughts, I sensed God’s whisper, urging me to turn to truth, my most powerful weapon against all fear, fear of rejection included. And so I did.

Bible opened to Ephesians 1, I began to read. More than that, I soaked in every word, claiming each as my own. Through that passage, God spoke so clearly, reminding me of who I was. Though I felt rejected and discarded, insufficient, the Bible promised that was far from reality. Instead, I was and am God’s holy child (v. 1), blessed with every spiritual blessing (v. 3) chosen (v. 4) loved and adopted (v. 5), redeemed and lavished in grace.

But here’s my favorite verse: “In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will” (v. 11).

God, my Creator and redeemer, the One who promised to perfect that which concerns me (Ps. 138:8), works all things, my life included, according to His will. Therefore, when opportunities don’t arise or are denied, when others don’t appreciate my skills or my gifts, that doesn’t mean I’m insufficient or rejected. Rather, it indicates God has something else in mind. He’ll show me precisely what that something is, in His way and His timing.

Because He loves me.

What’s more, I can trust Him. I can trust His heart, His wisdom, His power, and His plan. And in the waiting, I can choose to receive the love and grace, the acceptance and equipping, He’s lavished freely upon me through His Son.

I am far from insufficient. So are you. We are loved, redeemed, empowered, and called children of Christ destined for impact.

Additional resources:

Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst

Overcoming Fear of Rejection (video presentation, by Jennifer Slattery)

Learning to Shake of Rejection to Live in Freedom

When Others Rejection Us

If you struggle with fear of rejection and other fears, make sure to join the Faith Over Fear private Facebook group. You can find it HERE. You can find additional faith-building resources HERE. I also encourage you to listen to the latest Faith Over Fear podcast episode on breaking free from people pleasing. Find it Here or wherever you access podcast content.

Overworked: How to Find Rest in Your Good Shepherd – Faith Over Fear

When responsibilities pile up and the people and circumstances you care about feel dependent on you, it can be easy to slip from faithful diligence into anxious striving. We work harder, plan further ahead, and try to control outcomes, often without realizing fear is driving our efforts. In this episode of Faith Over Fear, Jennifer Slattery talks with Bible teacher and bestselling author Dr. Tara Dew about the peace available to us when we remember who our Shepherd is and learn to entrust ourselves and those we love to His care. Drawing from Psalm 23 and insights from her book Overflowing Peace: What God Says About a Peace-Filled Life, Tara shares how understanding the nature and care of our Good Shepherd can help us rest, recognize when fear is fueling our work, and follow God even when we can’t see where He’s leading. Together, she and Jennifer discuss practical ways to shift our focus from what feels dependent on us to God’s faithfulness, provision, and guidance—and why we can trust that the Shepherd who leads us into unfamiliar territory already knows the path ahead. Resource Referenced: Overflowing Peace: What God Says About a Peace-Filled Life Scriptures discussed: Psalm 23:1–4, Psalm 131:2, John 10, Isaiah 43:19, Matthew 6:34, Philippians 4:7, Genesis 50:20 Connect with Dr. Tara Dew:Tara Dew at New Orleans Baptist Theological SeminaryPrepare Her / Women’s InitiativeFacebookOverflowing Peace at Lifeway Find Jennifer Slattery:On her websiteInstagramFacebookAmazonSubscribe to her free newsletter Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The Courage to Maintain Boundaries at the Risk of Loss

by Jennifer Slattery on June 19, 2026June 18, 2026

Quote pulled from post on teal blue gradiant background

(Note, this first posted on December 31, 2020.)

Beneath every healthy or dysfunctional relationship, we’ll find boundaries at work. Healthy, God-honoring boundaries lead to increased health; Without them, people begin to hide, trust shatters, emotional intimacy decreases if not dies all together, and isolation grows.

When my daughter was younger, one of her friendships turned unhealthy and caused her considerable and consistent pain. She began justifying the poor behavior, telling herself the behavior didn’t, or perhaps more accurately, shouldn’t hurt and also that the other person couldn’t help it and therefore needed patience and grace. The problem is, apart from truth, grace isn’t grace. It’s enabling. As a result, over time, things became worse—the friend’s behavior, my daughter’s wounds, and the relational dysfunction.

And I struggled to see beyond the problem in that moment to all God was doing and was yet to do. Grieved by my daughter’s pain, I wanted to step in, to meddle, to fix. To control. To grasp and hold tight to things God wanted me to release—because I was afraid.

This is often my greatest challenge when setting boundaries, and honestly, this is a battle I continually fight. Many times, I know the right thing to do, but my heart struggles to comply. I don’t find it all that hard to take and maintain full responsibility for my behavior, emotions, and reactions. When I sleep in and miss a meeting, that’s on me. When I blow a deadline, that’s on me as well. When something angers me and I lose my temper? Me again.

I don’t like staying in my lane, however, when I know there’s a big old cavern up ahead in my loved one’s lane. When that occurs, I want to veer right and force them onto the shoulder or into a ditch, or perhaps rip their keys from their hands.

As ironic as this may sound, the greater my love, the harder boundaries become. The harder it is to not only realize but accept that I am not responsible for anyone else’s behavior, emotions, and reactions—nor should I attempt to make myself so. Living in that truth, however, takes courage, strength, surrender, and significant trust in Christ.

An old pastor from Louisiana used to say, “Don’t try to be the Holy Spirit in anyone’s life.”

So, what if we’re dealing with something more consequential than a hurtful friend? What if our loved one is heading toward serious self-destruction? What if their choices could, and likely will, destroy everything our relationship rests on, and thus, our relationship itself? I’m relatively certain those scenarios make us all a bit weak-kneed, because we know there’s a potential for deep, heart-breaking loss.

The greater the risk, the more challenging it is to set boundaries, which also means, the greater the potential for dysfunction.

I have to remind myself of this. When life becomes challenging, for me and those I love, all I can see are the danger signs directly attached to whatever behavior or choice concerns me. Choices I have zero control over—which may be why I’m so tempted to fight for control. To elevate the weakest, most deceptive, and often, destructive, god of all time—the god of self.

In short, I act as if God has somehow fallen down on the job and needs me to step in and meddle and fix and arrange.

This lies at the root of every choice and action. At each moment, I’m living in surrendered trust and obedience to Christ or I’m trusting in the god of me.

When I reach this place, I need to get honest with myself, with my fears, and with God. Do I really believe everything I claim to be true about God? Do I believe that He’s all-knowing, all-seeing, all-loving, faithful and true? Do I believe that He has the power to change hearts—and that I don’t, no matter how much I argue, nag, pester, or cajole? Do I believe He has the power to bring order to mental chaos, clarity to confusion, and truth to deception—not only in the minds of those I’m worried about but within me as well?

Do I believe God has a plan in the mess, and that He’ll bring good through it? That He longs to use the situation, as painful as it might be, to grow us all and make us more like His Son?

My internal struggle reveals I likely don’t truly, deeply believe those things, therefore the first and greatest work God wants to do is within me. And so, I need to hit pause. I need to quiet myself before Him and ask Him some heart-probing, life-changing questions, like:

What sin are You wanting to purge within me?
What lie or lies are You revealing?
What cracks in my faith do You need to mortar with truth?
And just as importantly, how do You want me to model life, light, health, and faith through this situation?

The next time we land in this place, may God remind us who He is, who we are, and who we are not. What He’s assumed responsibility for, and what He has not conceded to us.

He is the initiator, redeemer, Savior, Counselor, Guide, Teacher, and Father. The One who knows all and sees all and is in all.

Scripture tells us:

God:

Convicts mankind regarding sin. (John 16:8)
Has the power to change hearts. ( 11:19)
Transforms lives. (Philippians 1:6)

Our role is to:

Listen for His guidance.
Speak truth.
Honor God’s principle of sowing and reaping. (This means not attempting to shield others from the consequences for their actions.)
Seek personal growth.

When do you find it most challenging to set and maintain healthy boundaries? Why do you think this might be? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!

If this resonated with you, you might find this week’s Faith Over Fear podcast episode titled Healthy Boundaries for Compassionate People helpful. Listen HERE.

Overworked: How to Find Rest in Your Good Shepherd – Faith Over Fear

Finding Peace When Your Relationship Doesn’t Change

by Jennifer Slattery on June 12, 2026June 11, 2026

My husband knows the pain of estrangement.

The sting of regret and the anxiety of second-guessing himself and replaying words spoken and conversations held. He’s felt the bittersweet grief left by memories that once brought joy but now come laden with pain. I’ve watched him mourn moments he’ll probably never experience again. He’s grieved the vacations they won’t take and holidays they won’t celebrate together.

Although I suspect the treatment he suffered for years prior stung worse.

He was married prior to meeting me, and before yielding his life to Christ. While that relationship began pleasantly enough, it soon devolved in yelling, fighting, name-calling and what I’d term verbal and emotional abuse. After fifteen years of feeling constantly under attack, he left. He’s certain things between him and his ex would’ve played out differently, had he been following Christ. But sadly, he wasn’t, and they didn’t.

In the years that followed, he worked hard to remain engaged in his children’s lives, a goal challenged by geographical distance and a severe case of parental alienation. This, coupled with the guilt he felt from leaving his children, caused him to over-function and appease his kids. Although his intentions were good, the results weren’t. Afraid of losing the relationships he fought so hard to maintain, he allowed one child in particular to treat him in much the same way as his ex had. We both assumed tempers would calm with time, love and consistency.

Unfortunately, that’s not what happened. Instead, the hostility and behavior escalated until this particular relationship fractured completely. While God can bring reconciliation from seemingly hopeless situations, that typically requires both parties to invest in the repair. That’s a difficult reality to accept. But it also carries the potential for freedom and personal healing, because it helps us release what isn’t ours to carry.

Our journey showed us that reconciliation requires more than one willing heart. Each person must be willing to acknowledge the wounds they suffered and inflicted. Both must willingly pursue healing, growth, and honest conversation. When that happens, even deeply fractured relationships can begin to mend. When it doesn’t, one person’s effort can carry a relationship only so far.

You might know this from experience.

Perhaps you presently find yourself where my husband stood, early in his relational storm—thinking if only you tried harder, loved more and responded to hostility with grace, you’ll eventually win the other person over. Or, maybe after decades of attempts you recognize it’s time to walk away—at least, until your friend, loved one or spouse shows they’re willing and able to change. Or maybe you sense God re-igniting the hope that a barrage of arguments and mistreatment tried to kill. Only, you’re not sure you have the courage to try again, because hope, once dashed, can feel risky.

What if you get hurt yet again?

I don’t have any brilliant answers, except this: Jesus knows the best response. The healthiest response. Scripture phrases it this way: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18, NIV).

If it’s possible.

As far as it depends on us.

This reminds us that we’re responsible for our actions and reactions, but we have no control over someone else’s choices or maturity. Because here’s something I’m learning, as I navigate some of my challenging relationships: We can’t control how anyone else behaves. We can’t remove someone else’s bitterness, expand their perspective, open their ears to productive conversation or soften a hardened heart.

But we can become the best version of ourselves possible.

We can view every interaction as a learning opportunity that leads to greater self-awareness of our wounding and the lies attached to them. To increased spiritual maturity that stems from deeper dependence on Christ. And the priceless gift of enhanced intimacy with the Lord.

God can bring such beauty to us, our lives and our future relationships when we choose to grow through the pain, refusing to get stuck in the mess or our “offense”. Christ promised to bring good from our pain. But that usually requires effort on our part—not to fix the situation, but instead, to fix our gaze—on Jesus, keep our ears tuned to the Holy Spirit, and our feet ready to follow however He leads.*

If this is something you’re navigating now, I encourage you to catch Carol and my series on the Faith Over Fear podcast on relational peace and how to love others well without losing ourselves. This past Tuesday, we launched with one of our favorite guests, Becky Harling, who discussed with Carol how fear leads to over-functioning in our relationships and how over-functioning leads to burnout and resentment. Next week, I’m talking with a trauma-informed biblical counselor regarding what Scripture actually teaches regarding healthy boundaries. The following Tuesday, Carol and Bible teacher Kathy Howard will discuss how to respond rather than react in difficult relationships, followed by a discussion with neuropsychologist Dr. Michelle Bengston on how to handle those relationships that don’t change, typically because the other person refuses to do so. And finally, we’ll close our series discussing what to do with the unpleasant emotions that often come when we others choose to remain in harmful behaviors and patterns.

Before you go, what most encouraged or frustrated you in today’s post?

Share in the comments below. Let me know how I can pray for you as well. And wherever you’re at relationally, know this: God sees you. He loves you, remains with you and will bring beauty from your pain. That I can promise you, because He promised it first (Rom. 8:28).

*If this feels hard and confusing, can I gently encourage you to not give up? Learning to recognize God’s voice and sense His leading takes time and practice, and often, prayer asking for His help. Thankfully, this is a request He loves to answer! Feel free to reach out to me through my contact page if you’d like to know about the resources I’ve found helpful in my journey toward increased spiritual sensitivity.

Overworked: How to Find Rest in Your Good Shepherd – Faith Over Fear

When Praise Controls You and Criticism Crushes You

by Jennifer Slattery on May 7, 2026May 7, 2026

(This is taken an adapted from a piece I wrote for the Crosswalk Devotional podcast, which published on April 23, 2025. Find the full, audio version HERE.)

When someone’s approval feels life-giving, their rejection can feel soul-crushing.

Years ago, I met a woman who seemed highly enamored of almost everything I did. She loved my novels, wanted to serve with me in ministry, and appeared supportive of my calling. Soon, we developed a friendship that quickly turned toxic.

When I made leadership decisions she disagreed with, she tried pulling others onto her side through triangulation. When that didn’t work, she turned to slander and gossip. Initially, this confused me. How could someone go from a self-proclaimed fan and supporter to so hurtful so quickly?

As I prayerfully processed through the situation, I began to see things more clearly. She never truly valued me. Rather, she loved the version of me she’d created in her mind. When I failed to live up to the person and friend she imagined, her admiration quickly turned ugly.

Unfortunately, experiences like this aren’t uncommon. Human praise often proves unstable. The same person who applauds us one moment may criticize or reject us the next. And when we base our worth on other people’s approval, their shifting opinions can create confusing wounds.

When I land in that place, I gain comfort from knowing that Jesus understands, because He experienced it. One of the most thought-provoking examples comes from John 2.

This scene occurred near the beginning of Jesus’ earthly ministry. After clearing the Temple courts of merchants and money changers, He immediately faced opposition from religious leaders questioning His authority. Yet at the same time, crowds gathered around Him, amazed by the miracles He performed. Some admired Him while others challenged Him. Some believed Him while others rejected Him.

Regarding this, Scripture provides this insight: “But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people” (John 2:24, NIV).

Notice what this verse doesn’t say. Jesus didn’t withhold love or avoid relationship. In fact, He formed deep bonds with the disciples despite knowing they would abandon Him in His darkest hour. Christ loved people deeply and compassionately, without basing His identity or worth on their ever-changing opinions.

Instead, He entrusted Himself fully to the Father, the One who knew Him fully and loved Him completely.

Because human praise is fickle. The crowds shouting “Hosanna!” would soon cry, “Crucify Him!” The disciples who promised unwavering loyalty would scatter in fear. Yet Jesus remained grounded in who He was and what He came to do, because His identity rested securely in the Father’s unchanging love.

This allowed Him to love others with radical grace and compassion.

Jesus saw human weakness clearly. He understood pride, fear, self-protection and brokenness better than we ever will. Yet His knowledge of humanity didn’t harden Him or cause Him to withdraw emotionally. Instead, it moved Him to mercy.

While hanging on the cross, rejected and mocked, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NIV).

Christ longs for us to experience that same freedom. He invites us to become so rooted in His love and secure in our identity as His beloved children that we stop allowing others to define our worth.

For many of us, that healing develops slowly, especially when rejection wounds run deep. But as we walk with Christ day by day, hurt by hurt, He heals those fragile places within us. He teaches us how to love others deeply without entrusting our souls to their approval.

Most importantly, in Him, we find the acceptance our hearts most need.

If this post resonated with you, I encourage you to listen to the Faith Over Fear podcast episode titled “Feeling Left Out? Christ Seats You at the Table of Honor.“

I also invite you to read through my Bible reading plan titled “Embracing Your True Self: Living in Your Christ-Centered Identity” found on the YouVersion Bible reading app.

Overworked: How to Find Rest in Your Good Shepherd – Faith Over Fear

A Culture of Temporary Relationships

by Jennifer Slattery on February 26, 2026February 26, 2026

(Note: This first published March 17, 2022.)

Is our culture creating the “walk-away kind”? Granted, relationships have always been tough—to form and to keep, and sometimes we do need to sever unhealthy ties, especially if a particular person routinely steals our joy, effectiveness, and peace. But with all of the “toxic people” graphics I’ve seen in my social media feed the past few years, I worry we’ve learned to label every unpleasant interaction with imperfect people as poisonous. That we’ve found ways to justify remaining planted within our comfort zones surrounded by those who tell us what we want to hear.

The other day, a friend shared recent interactions with her adult daughter. The two had issues to work through, false perceptions to correct, and misunderstandings to clear up. Initially, both parties appeared interested in seeking resolution and health, until my friend began setting boundaries and speaking truth regarding past issues. Having read the texts, I knew she’d chosen her words carefully and presented them with gentleness and love. In essence, she was inviting her daughter into something beautiful and whole. But to reach that place, they both needed the courage to be honest with themselves and with one another.

The latter comes much easier, doesn’t it? Admitting we’re broken and a bit of a mess, however, tends to prick some of our deepest insecurities and fears, primarily because few of us truly understand how to live anchored in grace. Unfortunately, most of us have had way too much experience with the converse. Living in our profoundly broken world among profoundly broken people, we’ve grown accustomed to others cutting us off, rather than inviting us close, when we fail to meet their expectations. This is especially true for those, like my friend’s daughter, who don’t know Jesus.

This should not, however, be true of you and I. Because here’s the thing—if responding to others with Christ-like love came easily, such interactions wouldn’t leave our watching world confounded. Yet, Jesus, the One who laid His life down so you and I might live, stated without any disclaimers, that others would know us by our love. True, healthy, honest, and growing love.

The type that takes work, humility, incredible bravery, and perseverance.

In Acts 2:1, the Bible says the first century Christ followers “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (NIV).

This passage may read familiar to you. It did to me, only this morning one word I’d previously skimmed over grabbed my attention. These men and women devoted themselves to one another and growing in Christ. Theirs weren’t casual interactions they engaged in when convenient or conversations felt comfortable. They remained steadfast and diligent, persevering with “intense effort” and at times “despite difficulty.”

No doubt because there were many times when it would’ve been much easier to walk away. Just as it will be for me and you.

We will often find it easier to:

Self-protect and isolate than to deepen our relationships and risk getting hurt.
Feed our pride than to cultivate the humility necessary to break down barriers, resolve conflicts, and heal hurts.
Hide behind our well-rehearsed, cheery Sunday morning smiles and slogans than to allow others to see our imperfections.
Attack rather than receive, defend rather than hear, and isolate rather than grow.

But none of those behaviors will bring the relationship depth our souls crave. To the contrary. When we choose to live like the world, we tend to find ourselves in the same lonely and fearful places into which everyone else has fallen. We begin to experience the “beyond-expectations” life Christ promised, however, when we push past the fears and sinful tendencies that keep us in bondage to boldly seek Jesus, His people, and His ways.

Let’s talk about this. When have you experienced determined, steadfast love? To whom might God be calling you to show that type of love? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all encourage and learn from one another.

If this resonated with you, you’ll find this recent Faith Over Fear podcast episode helpful: “Why ‘Being Nice’ is Killing You: Biblical Boundaries for the People Pleaser” with author and speaker Jennifer Renee Watson.

Overworked: How to Find Rest in Your Good Shepherd – Faith Over Fear

When Relational BEtrayal Challenges your Ability to trust

by Jennifer Slattery on February 19, 2026February 18, 2026

Relational betrayal is one of the most disorienting and longest-lasting wounds we can experience. I suspect most, if not all, of us know this from experience. When a caregiver uses our vulnerability against us, a friend slanders or gossips about us, or we discover that the spouse or spiritual mentor we once trusted implicitly told more lies than truth, it shatters more than our faith in that person.

It can challenge our ability to trust ourselves.

If we didn’t catch the warning signs with, say, that neighbor known for years, how can we feel confident in our perspective of that acquaintance we think might make a good friend?

This can also intensify any sense of self-loathing or condemnation we carry, particularly if our inner critic bombards us with blame.

Yesterday, I spoke with a precious, godly woman who endured—and is enduring—soul-crushing hardship related to an illness that has stolen her mobility and her strength. When her body first began failing and the doctors predicted a lifetime of disability, she consoled herself with the thought, At least I won’t be alone. At least I’ll have my husband.

Isn’t that what marriage vows proclaim—in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do we part?

But what happens when your spouse refuses to honor the promises they made, not because of any horrific, divorceable deed like infidelity or abuse, but rather… inconvenience? What happens when one you gave your heart to without reservation walks away—when you need them most?

That was precisely what happened to the woman I spoke with yesterday. Praise God, by the time I heard her story, He’d brought deep healing to her soul and a healthy relationship with a much more honorable man. But while I celebrated the joy I saw in her eyes as she shared all the Lord had done, I doubt her journey to her “happily ever after” was anxiety- or pain-free.

I imagine she spent many nights wrestling with her past, herself, and maybe also her Savior who allowed her previous betrayal. maybe, at times, she still does.

Perhaps you can relate. Maybe you grew up in a home where caregivers exploited your weaknesses, mocked your tears, and responded to your desperate cries for help with contempt. Or you learned that a friend who seemed so kind and supportive used you for personal gain. Or that the supervisor you trusted to advocate for you blamed you for their mistake.

Now you don’t know who to trust—and you doubt yourself most of all.

I wonder if David, ancient Israel’s second king, ever felt this way. As a youth, he courageously and sacrificially served his predecessor, a man named Saul, and received homicidal malice in return. He defended an entire town, only to have them turn on him, knowing their betrayal could lead to David’s death. Then, years later, his son—whom he deeply loved—sought to kill him to usurp the throne. And while, admittedly, David wasn’t the wisest or most honorable father, that still had to sting.

Perhaps, in fact, that made the betrayal hurt all the more by convincing him he deserved it.

He could have become bitter and spent the remainder of his life in isolation, or fueled by a toxic desire to get even. Yet that’s not what happened. Instead, he is forever memorialized in Scripture as a man after God’s own heart.

Based on his prayers recorded in the Psalms, he reached that place of maturity and intimacy with the Lord the same way the woman I spoke with did—by turning to Him in his pain, processing every tear and gut-wrenching emotion with God, receiving His comfort, and routinely anchoring his soul in truth.

I want to get better at following those steps, regardless of how long that takes. I want to react less in the moment, process more with Christ, and wait on Him to heal and guide my soul. When I’m tempted to lash out, withdraw, or move through life with some level of self-imposed isolation, I want to seek God’s heart and strength instead.

I want to routinely, and increasingly, accept my Father’s invitation in Psalm 55:2:

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken (NIV).

Otherwise, I fear I’ll become the betrayer and wound myself for far longer—and with farther-reaching results—than my initial offender ever could.

I don’t want to downplay poor behavior or ignorantly invite harm. But neither do I want to block my soul from experiencing all the good God has in store for my tomorrows by forever expecting a repeat of yesterday’s pain.

***

If this post resonated with you, and you’re looking for more insight and encouragement related to building healthy and support relationships, make sure to check out my cohost Carol’s conversation with Faith Over Fear guest Becky Harling in the episode titled, “How to Find Godly Friends When You Don’t Know Who to Trust.“

Overworked: How to Find Rest in Your Good Shepherd – Faith Over Fear

When Relationships Hurt

by Jennifer Slattery on January 1, 2026December 31, 2025

(This first published on March 30, 2023.)

Relationships can lead to great joy and fulfillment, but they can also trigger significant anxiety and pain. While God can, and often does, bring healing, restoration, and wholeness to some of our most challenging relationships, sadly, some connections remain fractured.

This often leaves us wrestling with difficult and confusing questions like, how do we love others well, in a godly and healthy way, without inviting continual injury? How can we protect our hearts from what is harmful while nourishing it with everything life giving and true? How do we grieve well, without bitterness, and while holding tightly to hope?

Or perhaps to phrase it differently, how do we experience the victorious, thriving life Christ promised in every situation? Without allowing other people’s behavior to negatively affect ours?

Is this even possible?

These were some of the questions I addressed last weekend when I spoke to a group of women in Rockford, Michigan. While there, I heard stories of deep mother-daughter wounds. Of seemingly irreparably broken friendships. And listening, I recalled the hurt others had shared withe me shortly before. Of challenging marriages and shattered trust. And on occasion, of situations where women realized, despite their longing for reconciliation, wisdom required distance. And in every instance, I heard sorrow expressed.

I could relate. I imagine you can, too. We’ve all suffered the effects of living in a sin-tainted world that is far from what God intended; far from the joyful paradise for which we’re destined.

We are all living somewhere within the messy middle, and that hurts. But that doesn’t mean we can’t receive joy and peace amidst the storm. While I’m still on this journey of becoming and receiving, God has and is teaching me some things regarding how to thrive, even while my soul aches.

I’m learning to give myself space to mourn, and to recognize the holy thread woven through my grief. God created us to give and receive love, without fear or injury. To crave emotional intimacy and healthy connection. That is what we’re destined for, and therefore the states for which we’ll always long.

But God’s showed me that I also must always grieve with hope, keeping my heart open to the possibility that, one day, things might change. This is and may always feel hard—finding a way to accept what is without hardening myself against potential miracles to come. Even if that means my heart remains a little bruised.

In the meantime, I seek God’s perspective—of my hurts, the other person, and the situation—recognizing my perspective is limited, tainted by scars previously incurred, including past interactions with the individual, and often deceived. Once He’s corrected my view, or removed my plank, so to speak, I ask for His guidance on how to proceed. He usually only tells me my next couple steps, and that always involves resting in Him.

Receiving from Him.

Letting Him fill my soul—with Him. The God who knows me fully, loves me completely, and will never leave.

The God who says to each of us, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:10, NIV).

Let’s talk about this. How do you heal, nourish, and protect your heart when others wound it?

If this resonates with you, you might also receive encouragement from this Faith Over Fear episode titled “When Relationships Hurt: Finding Healing, Safety, and Hope in Christ”.

Overworked: How to Find Rest in Your Good Shepherd – Faith Over Fear

Choosing peace when relationships hurt- Guest post by Carol McCracken

by Jennifer Slattery on July 24, 2025July 23, 2025

Choosing Peace When Relationships Hurt

by Carol McCracken

I once had a conversation with a woman wrestling through a painful family conflict. She kept replaying her last interaction with a relative, analyzing every word and wondering what she could say or do to make things right. “If only they would apologize,” she said. “If only they understood how they hurt me.”

We’ve all been there. Conflict stings. And when we’re hurting, we naturally focus on what someone else should do to make it better. But the reality is, we can’t control other people. We can only control ourselves.

Romans 12:18 gives us a simple but challenging instruction: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” That verse quietly acknowledges a truth we sometimes forget—peace isn’t always possible. But it is always possible to do our part.

The friend I mentioned earlier eventually came to that realization. She couldn’t force the other person to change, apologize, or even acknowledge her pain. But she could make different choices. She chose to forgive. She stopped trying to control the outcome and focused on guarding her own heart. She set healthy boundaries and responded with gentleness, even if it wasn’t returned. And something unexpected happened—her peace returned. Not because the situation was resolved, but because she was no longer tied to the outcome.

There’s a strange kind of freedom that comes when we stop spinning our wheels trying to fix what isn’t ours to fix. We don’t have to be cold or indifferent. But we can step out of the emotional tug-of-war and simply say, “God, help me respond in a way that honors You.”

That may look like calmly stating a boundary. It may look like stepping back to pray before responding to a difficult message. It may even mean accepting that reconciliation might not happen this side of heaven—and grieving that reality while still choosing to walk in grace.

Peace doesn’t always depend on how the other person acts. Sometimes, it’s found in the quiet decisions we make to let go of bitterness, to speak with kindness, and to trust God to do what we can’t.

We can’t control whether others understand or respond well. But we can control our words. We can choose wisdom over retaliation. We can pursue peace, even if the road is one-sided.

And in doing so, we reflect the heart of Christ—who, even when rejected, still chose love.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the reminder that it is possible for me to choose to live in peace, as much as it depends on me. Help me to accept my part may not completely resolve a matter, and to trust you to continue working in the situation.

(If your working through relational conflict, you might find this Faith Over Fear podcast episode on healthy conflict resolution helpful.)

Get to Know Carol McCracken:

Carol Ogle McCracken has been a Bible teacher for twenty years, serving on church staff and in women’s ministry. She currently serves as the Minister of Discipleship at her home church. She hosts the “Your Daily Bible Verse” podcast, cohosts the “Faith Over Fear” podcast, and provides daily inspiration on Christian Mix 106 web radio. But her greatest passion is to make the Bible come alive for women, connecting scripture to a real relationship with Jesus. Her book Wisdom, Where to Find It if You’ve Lost, Forgotten, or Never Had It, is available on Amazon. Find her at http://www.CarolMcCracken.com.

Check Out Her Book, Wisdom: Where to Find it if You’ve Lost, Forgotten, or Never Had it:

Wisdom is not hidden-but you may need a map to find it. If you think the only wisdom contained in your body is in your wisdom teeth, you aren’t alone. These days everyone has an opinion or answer for everything. But where do we find the right kind of wisdom? Is there a difference between our wisdom and God’s wisdom? And how can we make wise decisions when the world wants an answer yesterday? From Genesis to James, this short book will teach you biblically proven techniques to help you make wise decisions amid the busyness of everyday life. All the scripture is contained in this compact book. Enjoy some thought-provoking questions that are perfect for you to wrestle with on your own, with a friend, or as part of a small group.

Overworked: How to Find Rest in Your Good Shepherd – Faith Over Fear

How I came to love my mother-in-law: guest post by Patti Ritcher

by Jennifer Slattery on May 16, 2025May 16, 2025

“Na-na-na-na boo-hoo. I’ll be with Jesus before you.”

My mother-in-law sang that little ditty to me in our final phone conversation. She had just accepted hospice care and, knowing I was crying, she tried to make me laugh.

Marion, who I always called Mom, kept me laughing for most of the 45-plus years I knew her. But our relationship didn’t begin so promisingly; she wasn’t sure that I was the right one for her firstborn son to marry.

Jim and I had been close friends at college for two years before we suddenly announced our engagement—with a wedding day planned for six weeks later! This caught his mother off guard since she and I barely knew each other. Further, Marion’s five other children included a three-year-old, so she had the challenging circumstance of “losing” her oldest while still raising her family.

I understood some of those concerns, but I also felt Marion’s disapproval. She had grown up in Chicago in the 1930s and 40s; she loved fashion and all things fine. She attended St. Mary’s College, across the street from Notre Dame, where she met Jim’s father. In contrast, I was from Arkansas, raised by less sophisticated parents who considered Little Rock a big city. Fashion was not my priority and I had little experience with the finer things in life.

Romans 12:10 became a lifestyle, as Marion and I both grew in our knowledge of God and His ways, and we learned to honor the other above self. This verse emphasizes the need to prioritize the needs and desires of others over your own, even when it’s difficult or requires sacrifice. My relationship with my mother-in-law was strengthened during the times she came to help out after our three children arrived, and later, just to spend time with our family. Marion loved cooking healthy meals, and I enjoyed letting her take over in the kitchen. And, as I said, she made me laugh.

Having been raised by immigrant parents, Marion had stories to tell, along with all the right accents, expressions, and mannerisms. Further, there were some English words she could never quite pronounce correctly. With the emotional wound of rejection in childhood, her humorous antics might have been a lifelong coping mechanism.

At age 50, Marion was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Her doctor removed a massive tumor, ordered chemotherapy, and gave her six months to live. She endured treatments but also asked the elders at church to pray for her healing, according to James 5:14. She then proceeded to live for another 40 years.

Marion gradually became more of a mentor to me than a mother-in-law. She encouraged me to seek God daily through Bible study and prayer—without forgetting to wait and listen for His guidance.

Mom wanted to be remembered for more than her fun and laughter. She hoped to be remembered as one who was led by the Lord. And I hope to carry on this legacy she left behind for me and so many others. I honored her while she was living and honor her now.

When God puts someone in our life that we do not immediately connect to and love, it is important for us to pray and ask God to show us how to honor the person and sacrificially love them. The transformation happens when we no longer need to make an effort, but develop a genuine affection for the person.

Prayer: God, I ask you to help me love those around me, and to honor them above myself.

About the author: Patti Richter lives in north Georgia with her husband, Jim. She is a freelance journalist and long-time faith columnist at BlueRibbonNews.com with more than four hundred published articles. Patti is the co-author of the award-winning Signs of His Presence—Experiencing God’s Comfort in Times of Suffering. It is the story of Luann Mire, whose godly husband was blindsided by an indictment due to a former employer’s tax fraud. The resulting prison sentence and restitution took the once joyful couple into a long season of suffering as they fought judicial tyranny. Helpless to change her situation, Luann endured a painful examination of her life and found God faithful to His promises.

Check out Patti’s Book:

Voted 2020 Best Memoir by the Advanced Writers and Speakers AssociationLuann Mire faced overwhelming circumstances when her godly husband was blindsided by an indictment due to a former employer’s tax fraud. The resulting prison sentence and restitution took the once joyful couple into a long season of suffering as they fought judicial tyranny.

Helpless to change her situation, Luann endured a painful examination of her life-long faith as she faced evil and distress. Fear, anxiety, and depression worked against her ability to trust in God’s goodness. Meanwhile, she wrestled with powers of darkness she had never before encountered. Luann’s desperate desire for a restored family life kept her looking to God through prayer, Scripture, and every trustworthy scrap of divine encouragement she could find. Yet doubts plagued her as months turned into years, and hope for justice was continually deferred by an ironclad court system. Though trapped in severe circumstances, Luann found God faithful to His promises, especially Psalm 34:18, which says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (NIV). Signs of God’s presence came at timely moments of need―often in astonishing ways.