Fighting Fear of Rejection With the Truth of Christ

crumpled paper and a notepad and pen

(This post first published in 2020.)

Writers experience a great number of rejections, and some of those can be pretty harsh. Though I know to expect these “no thank yous,” seeing them stream through my inbox can leave me stunned. If I’m not careful, I can begin to question my abilities, my calling, and really, myself. We do that, don’t we? We own every negative experience, holding each one as proof that we’re somehow insufficient or defective.

A while back, after receiving numerous declines in a row, I shared my disappointment with my daughter. “But you’ve also received a lot of acceptances,” she said. I know she meant to encourage me, and for a moment, it did, but I knew my assurance needed to go much deeper. My confidence and value can’t be based on such transient standards as blue and teal background and text from posttemporary wins and losses. To rise above my fears, I must anchor myself, immovable, in the One who knows me, loves me, sees me, goes before me, has a plan for me, and remains with and in me.

A while back, God reminded me of this truth during a rather discouraging time. For about a year, it had felt as if I’d been turned down for every opportunity I pursued, even those I felt certain had been God led. The first rejection didn’t phase me too much. The second stung, but I determined to keep moving. By the third and fourth experience, however, lies I’d thought I’d long buried began to reemerge, assaulting my weakening heart, “You’re unwanted. You’re not good enough. Insufficient.”

Those lies can be really hard to silence sometimes, can’t they? They’d long held me captive, and normally would’ve plunged me into an all-day, if not longer, gloom. But not this time. As I sat there, initially feeding all those deceptive and toxic thoughts, I sensed God’s whisper, urging me to turn to truth, my most powerful weapon against all fear, fear of rejection included. And so I did.

Bible opened to Ephesians 1, I began to read. More than that, I soaked in every word, claiming each as my own. Through that passage, God spoke so clearly, reminding me of who I was. Though I felt rejected and discarded, insufficient, the Bible promised that was far from reality. Instead, I was and am God’s holy child (v. 1), blessed with every spiritual blessing (v. 3) chosen (v. 4) loved and adopted (v. 5), redeemed and lavished in grace.

But here’s my favorite verse: “In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will” (v. 11).

God, my Creator and redeemer, the One who promised to perfect that which concerns me (Ps. 138:8), works all things, my life included, according to His will. Therefore, when opportunities don’t arise or are denied, when others don’t appreciate my skills or my gifts, that doesn’t mean I’m insufficient or rejected. Rather, it indicates God has something else in mind. He’ll show me precisely what that something is, in His way and His timing.

Because He loves me.

What’s more, I can trust Him. I can trust His heart, His wisdom, His power, and His plan. And in the waiting, I can choose to receive the love and grace, the acceptance and equipping, He’s lavished freely upon me through His Son.

blue and gray background with text pulled from postI am far from insufficient. So are you. We are loved, redeemed, empowered, and called children of Christ destined for impact.

Additional resources:

Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst

Overcoming Fear of Rejection (video presentation, by Jennifer Slattery)

Learning to Shake of Rejection to Live in Freedom

When Others Rejection Us

If you struggle with fear of rejection and other fears, make sure to join the Faith Over Fear private Facebook group. You can find it HERE. You can find additional faith-building resources HERE. I also encourage you to listen to the latest Faith Over Fear podcast episode on breaking free from people pleasing. Find it Here or wherever you access podcast content. 

 

Living in the Victory of Christ – Ep. 114 Faith Over Fear

When our world feels out of control, uncertain, painful, and chaotic, it’s easy to feel like a victim of our circumstances or the sinful acts of others. But God wants us to live in courageous victory – the victory Christ already won for us when He died on the cross and rose again. Those who are in Christ, therefore, are always coming from a place of victory. This victory isn’t something we must earn or acquire ourselves but rather, it’s something we receive, hold tight to, and learn to live in. Find Jennifer at: https://jenniferslatterylivesoutloud.comhttps://www.instagram.com/avapennington3/Find Kelly and Wholly Loved, at:https://www.WhollyLoved.comFind Wholly Loved Ministries at:WhollyLoved.comJoin the private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/442736966614671Join the Private Wholly Loved Community Group (also on Facebook):https://www.facebook.com/groups/443325386241769Group Discussion Questions:1. What resonated with you most in today’s episode?2. Did Jennifer share truths you weren’t familiar with or had forgotten? If so, what?3. How do you feel knowing, in Christ, you are more than a conqueror? 4. What in your life might fall under “more?” (Meaning, what are you struggling with in regard to which you want to remember your victory?5. In today’s episode, Jennifer stated, from Scripture, that all who trust in Christ for salvation are cherished, held, protected, and guided children of God. Which of those truths do you most struggle to believe, and why do you think that is?6. What are some things your fear has “stolen” from you?7. In what ways have you fallen into an “orphan” mentality (as if you’re all alone and uncared for)?8. In what ways might God be working to restore and rebuild you?9. What is one action step God is calling you to take in the next week? (Right this down somewhere prominent to help with follow-through.)
  1. Living in the Victory of Christ – Ep. 114
  2. How God Brings Beauty through Our Pain – Ep. 113
  3. How You Can Break Free from People Pleasing – Ep. 112
  4. How to Increase Your Resiliency – Ep. 111
  5. How to Have Peace When God Is Silent – Ep. 110

5 Comments

  1. This was a God moment. I have strayed away from writing because of my fear of being rejected. I opened up my computer to maybe write a draft, not sure if I would post anything..and the first thing that popped up was your post. Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this today.

  2. Absolutely needed to read this today! I have felt down about so many writing rejections, and reading this reminds me that I am a child of God, and that He has allowed these rejections for a much greater purpose than I can fathom the moment. I need to hang on, and simply trust.

    1. Nicole, I’m sorry for my late response! I’m so glad this post encouraged! When answering the call to write, it’s so easy to become discouraged! I love how God used this post to encourage you in your journey. May He bless you abundantly as you continue to yield to Him!

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