How to Respond to a Depressed Loved One

Quote on compassion on mint graphic.

What can you do when someone you love has landed in such a dark place, it feels—to you and them—as if no amount of light can break through? This is how Teresa, President of Wholly Loved Ministries, described her experience with depression. In the latest Faith Over Fear podcast episode, she said she knew logically that God, her family, and her friends loved her, but she “wasn’t in a right state of mind.” Wonky chemical processing in her brain had hijacked her emotions and perception of reality. During that painful and discouraging time, she needed, and received, a lifeline through the steady presence of a gentle and empathetic friend.*

Someone who didn’t quote Bible verses at her, shame her with a series of “you shoulds” or get frustrated when Teresa’s battle appeared to make no sense to either of them.

In this, her friend mirrored the heart of her compassionate Father who draws close when we need Him most. Psalm 34:18, written by a man accustomed to overwhelming sorrow and fear, states, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit” (ESV).

Psalm 34:18 on a mint graphic

The Lord, Yahweh in the original Hebrew. The self-revealing, ever-present, relational God who steps into our messy and often turbulent lives, bringing supernatural strength to our weaknesses. Through His faithful and continual presence in our lives and pain.     

The Lord is near. He responds to our pain, confusion, and even our rebellion and sin, by coming close. In love. This is an irrefutable truth that isn’t dependent upon our feelings or perceptions. This means, He remains with us, even when we don’t “feel” Him.

The Lord is near the brokenhearted. Those whose spirits are crushed.

Have you ever experienced grief so intense, your chest literally hurt and it felt as if someone was squeezing your heart in a vice? I have, and in those moments, I didn’t want anyone to list reasons as to why I should or could feel better. Nor did I want to hear a sermon on the goodness of God. In other situations, yes. But when guttural sobs wracked my body, all I wanted was to be held.

To know that I wasn’t alone.

And to receive the space I needed to cry.

I want to better mirror the gentle love and grace of my Savior. The One revealed in Isaiah 42:3, which states, “A bruised reed He will not break and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish…” (NASB).

To rephrase, our Lord doesn’t belittle or berate the downtrodden. He doesn’t douse a person’s wound-weakened inner spark.

Instead, like a gardener nurturing a wilting and battered orchid, He kneels beside His hurting children, takes them in His arms, and nurses them, steadily yet slowly, to full bloom.

That is the Savior I represent—and was created to reflect. He doesn’t ask me to change or fix anyone. While He might, on occasion, encourage me to speak truth, most often, He simply invites me to walk beside my hurting friend as an instrument of His love, knowing He alone has the power to save the crushed in spirit. Knowing as well, whenever I step outside of His leading, regardless of how well-intended, I’m apt to start trampling upon those the Lord is working to lift up.

Those He is, at this moment, making ‘new.’ (Isaiah 43:19)

*Please note: Whenever we seek to offer others support, it’s important that we listen for and follow God’s lead to ensure that we ourselves are strong enough and in a safe place.

When a Terminal Diagnosis Meets the Bigness of God: The True Story Behind I Can Only Imagine 2 Faith Over Fear

When we experience intense pain and hardship, our view of God can shrink.  When circumstances overwhelm us, prayers seem unanswered and our suffering endures for any length of time, we may fear God isn't actually big enough to handle what we’re facing, or loving enough to do something about it. Singer, songwriter and author Tim Timmons, whose story is shared in MercyMe's Imagine 2, knows what it means to live with those types of questions. After receiving an incurable cancer diagnosis and being given five years to live more than two decades ago, Tim has learned to bring his grief, questions and uncertainty honestly to God. In this episode, Tim and Jennifer discuss what it looks like to trust a God who is bigger than our understanding and meet Him within the tension of pain and hope. They explore the intimacy that can develop through honest wrestling, why acknowledging grief doesn’t diminish faith and how shifting from “working for God” to joining Him can change the way we approach each day. Wherever life feels confusing or painfully unresolved, God remains present, attentive and at work. Scripture referenced: Genesis 32:22–32; Matthew 5:44; Matthew 16:24–25; Matthew 22:37–39; Mark 12:30–31; John 5:17; Romans 8:28; Malachi 1:6–14 Resource Referenced: Waking Up Again: A Journey of Grief & Gratitude Connect with Tim Timmons: On his website On Instagram On Facebook Find Jennifer Slattery: On her website Instagram Facebook Amazon Subscribe to her free newsletter Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
  1. When a Terminal Diagnosis Meets the Bigness of God: The True Story Behind I Can Only Imagine 2
  2. Bonus: Saturday Scripture Reset: When You Feel Unloved By God
  3. Why It's Hard to Receive God's Love and Rest in His Delight
  4. How to Move Forward in Seasons of Grief
  5. Did I Hear God Wrong? What to Do When Your Calling Doesn’t Go as Planned

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